On How to Deal with My Brother: Turns Out You Can't Expect a NEET Girl to Get Back on Her Feet

"Anyway, this is the only time Umaru's ever spent money in the game, so, Onii-chan, please don't be mad..." Having accepted reality, Umaru Doma regained her refined-lady demeanor and addressed the ashen-faced Sogo Doma with a solemn expression.

Come to think of it, hadn't her brother said people spent five hundred thousand yen a day on in-game purchases? Five million wasn't that much, right? Or was this some kind of financial exchange he was always talking about? Ah~!

Looks like she really had caused trouble. She shouldn't have been so impulsive and tried to outspend that student council president!

"Heh, hehe..." Feeling the chill of the world seeping into his bones, Sogo Doma gave a dry laugh. "I-it's fine. It's just spending money in a game. Totally normal. Totally normal..."

However.

Thinking of all the troublesome things waiting for him.

Sogo Doma couldn't help sitting upright again. "Umaru, there's good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

He thought, Heh, heh. Surely even my little hamster Umaru will have to think about it for a while after hearing that, right?

But.

"Huh?" Umaru Doma blinked. "Good news and bad news? Onii-chan plays this game too? Then let's hear the bad news first."

"Ahem!" Sogo Doma cleared his throat. Don't answer so quickly! But there was no need to hide the news any longer. "For a whole bunch of reasons, Umaru and I might be going broke..."

"Wha—huh???" Before he could finish, the usually composed Umaru Doma lost her cool. In a panic, she turned into a little ball and ran around the house.

"Is it because Umaru spent all that money in the game? So Onii-chan went bankrupt..."

Sogo Doma really wanted to nod.

"Will Onii-chan freeze to death on the street like the little match girl?"

Sogo Doma:

"..."

Hey, hey, why am I the one in that scenario? Are you planning to freeze to death too, you good-for-nothing? Besides, how could things possibly get that bad?!

"Or will I, Umaru, wash a pile of filthy clothes and wait for a prince to come... Ugh, a prince..."

Sogo Doma felt the dark aura around him reach max level!

"Umaru!"

Umaru, lost in her own world: "Prince, just stay here and die. Trust me, I'll find the legendary One Piece with your dying wish in my heart!"

"Smack!"

Someone slapped the table again, and Umaru, who'd been lost in her own world, immediately snapped out of it and sat down cross-legged. Why cross-legged? Because Umaru knew that what her Onii-chan hated most was sitting formally on his knees.

He might look like he followed the rules to the letter, but that was only because he had to. If someone else led the way, Onii-chan would relax too.

Sure enough.

As soon as Umaru relaxed, Sogo Doma had already crossed his legs. Sitting formally? What was that? It didn't exist!

However, looking at Umaru's carefree expression, Sogo Doma got angry all over again:

"Anyway, we're in the middle of an economic crisis now. Umaru, do you understand?!"

There was another silence.

Sogo Doma secretly congratulated himself. Even Umaru had to be scared now, right?

A dozen seconds later.

"Onii-chan, can I ask how long this economic crisis is supposed to last?" Seeing Sogo Doma sitting there as if waiting for her to ask, Umaru Doma felt she ought to offer him a little comfort.

"At least two months!"

Scared now, weren't you? Terrified, weren't you?

"Then another question: how much money can we use during these two months of economic crisis?"

"Less than six hundred thousand yen," Sogo Doma estimated.

Then.

"Heh, hehe..."

Umaru Doma gave a dry laugh, turned into a little ball, and went back to playing her game. She wasn't worried at all.

Watching this.

Sogo Doma was baffled. "Huh...?"

"Onii-chan, there are plenty of salaried workers in Japan who only make four or five hundred thousand yen over two months, and still have car loans and mortgages to pay. For people like us, that's nothing."

Sogo Doma...

Sure enough, his little sister really was a lazy NEET with no ambition...

He'd been raising her for two years on a noblewoman's allowance, yet when she heard that they'd have less than six hundred thousand yen for two months, she wasn't even scared. She just looked lazy?

"Oh, right, Onii-chan. What was the good news you mentioned?" As Sogo Doma pondered, Umaru suddenly looked up from her game.

Hearing this.

Sogo Doma felt his confidence return.

"Ta-da, ta-da, ta-da..." As he pulled Utaha Kasumigaoka's signed book out of his bag, Sogo Doma grinned. "Look, what's this?"

"Onii-chan, isn't that the novel I lent you a few days ago? What about it?" Umaru Doma asked, puzzled.

"Heh, heh!" Sogo Doma let out two cold laughs. "My foolish Imouto, today it's become something different!"

He opened to the first page.

Sogo Doma showed it off with a smug expression. "Little sister, this is a signature from the author, Utako Kasumi. And she even dedicated it to you..."

"But this book is in Onii-chan's hands right now. My foolish Imouto, think about it: what will you have to do to get it back?"

"Gulp!"

Looking at Sogo Doma's smug expression, Umaru swallowed.

A signed copy from Utako Kasumi? She wanted it, she wanted it so badly!

First of all.

Utako Kasumi had never held a book signing, so this was definitely the first time she'd ever signed anything. As a fan, it was absolutely a collector's edition!

Second.

Once she got the signed book, she could brag to Erina again. Hahaha...

But the signed book was in Onii-chan's hands. The usual methods would probably just get her teased again, so Umaru Doma fell into deep thought.

"My foolish Imouto, come on, beg your Onii-chan. Ask Onii-chan to take pity on you and give you the book. Wahahaha... Sure enough, you can never have too many tools for training a useless little sister." Sogo Doma was beaming with delight.

Just as he was thinking this.

Hamster Umaru transformed into Facehugger Umaru and leaped straight onto Sogo Doma's face:

"Onii-chan, I don't care, I don't care! I want it! Give the book back to me!"

"U-Umaru, wait, I can't see! Hey..." Sogo Doma began to regret his decision and struggled. "I-I can't breathe... The book, the book's over there."

"Hehe..." Seeing the signal in Onii-chan's eyes, Umaru smiled as if her plot had succeeded, then slid over and took the signed book with her.

Xenomorph!

The Facehugger Offensive had succeeded once again.

Come to think of it, should she write this down in her notebook, On How to Deal with My Brother?

Sogo Doma: One fewer tool for training his useless little sister.

At that moment, Sogo Doma was questioning his entire life.

"I-I was defeated just like that? It was even easier than those warriors in Dynasty Warriors who shout, 'The enemy is shamed—I'll go drag his clothes off!' before taking someone's head. U-Umaru really is a formidable enemy..."