"Hehehe..." Umaru let out a silly giggle as she clutched the book she'd managed to get. Then she curled up into a ball and said, "I have no regrets in life..."
First of all, she'd spent all that money without getting scolded. It was like a dream. Then she'd gotten the first-ever autograph from her favorite author. And finally, she could brag about it to that Erina girl. As expected... having Onii-chan draw a few circles on her face had been worth it!
He ruffled his hair, which Umaru had messed up.
"Ah..."
Sogo Doma sighed inwardly, but only for a moment. Then he smiled sincerely. "Never mind, never mind. As long as she's happy."
As he thought, Sogo headed upstairs.
"Huh?" Hearing him, Umaru Doma quickly turned around. "Onii-chan, what are you going upstairs for?"
"Dummy, didn't I tell you? We have less than six hundred thousand yen to live on right now. I need some peace and quiet to think of a job, or we'll really starve to death in two months!"
"Tch!"
As she put away her autograph book, Umaru Doma said bluntly, "Spending six hundred thousand yen in two months is terrifying. Besides, Onii-chan getting a job and all..."
At that, Umaru froze!
Then.
"What!!" Hamster Umaru let out a shriek of shock. A moment later, she slowly backed away and said, "That guy who said getting a job was impossible, that he'd never work in his whole life, and could only mooch off the Doma Family for food and drink... The people in the Doma Family are so nice, and they're so good at talking..."
"And now you're saying you'll go out and get a job? Are you insulting me, or the Doma Family—Sougo Onii-chan, y-you're actually going to work now?"
Sogo Doma: "..."
Ahem. Just what kind of image did he have in his foolish Imouto's eyes?
"D-does this mean the end of the world is almost here..." Umaru Doma continued in disbelief.
Sogo suddenly felt a terrible headache coming on.
"I'm telling you, Umaru, that's enough. Why does me getting a job have to mean the end of the world? That's a bit extreme!!"
"Huh, it's not the end of the world..." Umaru Doma tilted her head. "Then did Onii-chan squander all the Doma Family's money?"
Sogo Doma: "..."
So, what kind of image did she have of him?
"Ahem, ahem. Umaru, Onii-chan is a mature adult now. How could I go to the main family and ask them for money again? Besides, no matter what, your Onii-chan is one of the Totsuki Elite Ten. Sure, I'm a former Elite Ten, but does being a former Elite Ten mean I'm not part of the Elite Ten anymore? A rotten apple is still an apple, right?"
"I see!" Umaru Doma smacked her fist into her palm. "So Onii-chan's a rotten apple!"
"You've completely missed the point! Forget it, I need to think about work!" The corners of Sogo's mouth twitched. The rotten-apple comparison had just been a slip of the tongue, but why did he feel like, after Umaru added that extra adjective, she was right and he really had rotted? Was it because he'd started thinking about money?
As expected,
filthy money... go ahead and rot me to the core.
He shook his head and started upstairs again.
Umaru Doma: "Huh? Since Onii-chan's a former Totsuki Elite Ten, why not just find a job as a chef?"
Sogo Doma: "..."
He looked at the skill bar before him again.
Cooking LV6 (1/999999) {Cuisine at the pinnacle of human achievement. After tasting it several times, people will never want to eat another chef's food again. Keep improving, and perhaps, once you surpass this level, those faintly glowing dishes will stir the appetites of certain beings.}
He sighed. Damn it, this damn cheat was trying to kill me.
To be honest, after going head-to-head with the cheat for the past few years, he'd figured out some of its rules. As long as the atmosphere was right and he wasn't thinking about it, the skill's experience could shoot up like a rocket, beyond even his own control.
Take that piano competition, for example. The atmosphere of a crowd appreciating the music seemed almost like a sacrifice. In that atmosphere, he'd slipped into a state of mindlessness, and his piano skill, which had only had 22 experience points, had been maxed out in an instant. He'd nearly drawn Cthulhu out to hand out candy.
And then there was Totsuki.
After a Shokugeki, even though he hadn't been mindless, the atmosphere had made his Cooking experience grow at the speed of a high-speed train.
But that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that, in that kind of atmosphere, Sogo couldn't hold back. Just as Cthulhu wouldn't hide himself when he awoke, whenever Sogo tried to go easy, a feeling of disdain would rise from deep within him, as if he couldn't understand why he should care about what ants thought.
That disdain was like hypnosis. By the time he came to his senses, his skill experience...
That was why Sogo had dropped out of Totsuki.
Still.
It wasn't as if there was no way to lower those skill levels once they'd increased.
Take memory, for example...
Brain cells responsible for memory could be killed off with a large quantity of ethanol. And there were other methods that worked just as well, like the physical memory-loss method, the physical memory-loss method, and the physical memory-loss method...
Then there was piano. He hadn't touched one in five years, and his body probably wasn't used to it anymore. Now it had dropped to LV4 (a world-class performer; you could pay tribute to Chopin and the others).
This discovery had been a relief to Sogo. Thank goodness he could keep his skills in check. Otherwise, if he got drunk one day and came across a piano at a party, he might go up and play a piece. By the next day, he'd probably witness demons dancing wildly and the end of the world.
He shook his head.
There was no way he was becoming a chef. He'd never cook in a place with an intense atmosphere again for as long as he lived. He'd better think about a different line of work.
But how was he supposed to explain that to his foolish Imouto?
"Um..." Before Sogo could say anything, Umaru tilted her head and asked, "Does Onii-chan not like being a chef?"
Great. Sometimes she could be pretty considerate.
"That's right, Umaru! Listen, in life, you have to keep looking forward. Being a chef is in the past. Only by broadening your horizons and seeking out other paths can people grow!" Did Onii-chan's image seem a little grander now?
"What's the real reason?" Umaru Doma smiled.
"Being a chef is such a hassle. You have to spend all day by the stove. It's exhausting." A well-meaning lie.
Wait.
Sogo seemed to understand how he'd ended up with the image he had in some little dumpling's eyes. As expected, it was all that damn cheat's fault!
"As expected, Onii-chan is a big couch potato!!!"
"You lazybones have no right to say that! Besides, I've already decided to get a job. A job, understand? Couch potatoes don't work!"
"But..."
"Relax, relax. When has Onii-chan ever let you down?" Seeing Umaru was about to say something, Sougo quickly interrupted her and changed the subject. "Even Utako Kasumi, who'd never signed anyone's book before, signed yours. And she even wrote you a message!"
"Ahem. More importantly, Utako Kasumi herself said that every word she wrote came from the heart."
"W-what!?"
As expected, this little dumpling was so easy to appease. They'd just been talking about whether he was a couch potato, but the moment she heard there was a message, she'd already forgotten all about it.
Oh well. If he was a couch potato, so be it. Onii-chan always had a way.
Before you continue