For Li Ke, his most pressing task was to kill the spirit beast assigned by his sect, then search for medicinal herbs in the local villages, buy more herbs, and hunt to earn money.
After that, he would rely on the power of the life simulator and his own training to rise above the heavens!
To do that, he needed a path that wouldn't put him in too much danger.
Things like becoming a new-world gigolo halfway through his journey and using a mythological tale to make Irelia marry him—
Or making out with Vastaya beast-eared girls and kicking off some kind of love rivalry—those were all secondary concerns.
No matter how powerful he might become in the future, right now he was still just a weak, helpless swordsman who could eat a truly ridiculous amount!
So he had to use the simulator to test every pitfall before setting out.
But Shen's arrival had added one more variable.
"What variable? Did you really take the wrong medicine?"
The more Shen looked at him, the more worried he became. Li Ke looked completely like someone who'd run into a huge problem. Unless he had a guilty conscience and something to hide, why would he be making that face?
"I just want to thank your ancestors for eight generations."
Li Ke smiled as he said it.
Shen froze for a moment, then sheepishly scratched his head and gave him an honest grin.
"No need to thank eight generations. Just thank me and my father. After all, he's the one who raised me so well."
Are you stupid or something?!
Li Ke wanted to spit blood. How could Shen be this dense?
But seeing his constipated expression, Shen gave a dark little smile. Whenever someone insulted him like that, he put on an innocent act. That way, the other person was the one who ended up feeling awful.
"It's nothing... You're just overthinking it. These pills are perfectly normal. There's absolutely nothing wrong with them!"
Li Ke was brimming with confidence. He'd followed the steps to the letter! How could anything have gone wrong?
But Shen only smiled faintly.
"I don't believe you!"
Are you Lu Yu now?
Li Ke didn't humor him at all. He rolled his eyes and proudly set the bottle of medicine in his hand down in front of Shen.
"See for yourself!"
Shen took it and had a look. The fact that Li Ke had calmly handed over the pills for inspection already told him that Li Ke hadn't used his sect's medicine for anything strange. But...
Li Ke was interesting, so Shen had felt like teasing him.
He picked up a pill and examined it, then took out one of his own. He set both pills down in front of Li Ke.
"This one has about thirty percent less Horse Leaf Herb. It'll make whoever takes it dizzy. Clearly, you didn't mix it evenly."
Li Ke smiled faintly. Dizziness was no big deal. He could handle it.
Then Shen took out another pill.
"This one doesn't have enough Phantom Phosphorus Powder mixed in. If you take it as is, you'll get diarrhea."
Li Ke smiled faintly again.
Diarrhea was no big deal. He had plenty of leaves on hand!
Shen raised an eyebrow. He hadn't expected Li Ke to remain so calm. Finding him even more amusing, Shen decided to take the prank further.
"Wow, this one's a disaster. The Qian Spirit Root fibers are still this big! If you eat it after mixing it up, you'll be consumed by lustful flames. And if you don't get treated in time, your whole body will become congested and you'll die!"
As he spoke, Shen started slipping the pill into his robes. But just as he waited for Li Ke to grab his hand, he saw Li Ke smirking at him.
"What? You don't want it?"
Shen was a little annoyed. He'd followed Li Ke all the way here and was certain the man was a lecher. He even stared at people's butts while walking, and after taking the medicine earlier, he'd kept talking about butts.
Who would believe a man like that wasn't a lecher?
"It's fine. You've got better ones here, anyway."
Li Ke sneered and scooped up all the good pills Shen had left on the table, tucking them into his robes. Shen pursed his lips, but couldn't be bothered to argue with him over it.
Li Ke's pills were crude and came with all sorts of side effects, but they weren't fundamentally different from the real thing. And those side effects weren't as serious as Shen had made them sound. The pill that caused dizziness would only make him a little lightheaded; it wouldn't affect him much. The others were just a bit weak. Nothing serious.
Except the one that caused diarrhea. That one really would give him diarrhea.
After Li Ke took the pill that made him dizzy, he'd surely decide the side effects weren't that bad. Then...
Shen gave a mischievous grin to himself.
That was the little trick he'd had in mind.
He'd be traveling with Li Ke for a while anyway. If the pill got Li Ke into trouble, he could just step in and help. Nothing bad would happen.
As for why he was teasing Li Ke...
He was a little dissatisfied with his father's assessment of Li Ke, and he also wanted to befriend him. A harmless joke like this was just the thing to bring them closer.
And most importantly...
"By the way, why are you following me?"
Li Ke asked while tidying up. Shen's hairstyle had always made him want to comment on it. The chonmage was something samurai in ancient Japan wore to make it easier for their enemies to take their heads...
No, it was so their hair wouldn't get sweaty and itchy under their helmets. But whenever Li Ke saw a chonmage, he couldn't help thinking of samurai.
And whenever he thought of samurai, he thought of seppuku.
So when he saw Shen, he always felt like the man was about to commit seppuku.
Besides, the chonmage was really ugly!
"My father said you might run into trouble. You've already encountered so many ghouls, after all, so he asked me to protect you for a while... What's with that look?"
The more Shen looked at Li Ke's expression, the more annoyed he became. He always felt like Li Ke was looking at him as if he were already dead. That was another reason he liked teasing Li Ke.
"Nothing. I just think your hairstyle is... well, distinctive."
Li Ke tried to drag his gaze away from Shen's chonmage.
"I only wear it so I can put on a helmet and head covering! You know what the weather's like in Ionia. If you wear a helmet for even a little while, your head gets prickly heat. If you wear one for too long, it's a pain to take care of!"
Shen said irritably. If he could, he'd let his hair flow like everyone else. But as a disciple, he had a lot of things to do, and not wearing a helmet and head covering would be a hassle.
Li Ke muttered under his breath.
"But I heard Kusho's other disciple, Zed..."
Shen immediately cut him off, sounding as though he were defending himself.
"Zed has thin hair! He'll be bald before long! So he doesn't have this problem! Besides, chonmages are handsome, okay? They've got that samurai flair!"
Looking at Shen, who was worked up enough to get emotional over his appearance, Li Ke sighed softly. In the future, Shen would become quite the solemn sort, just like that game character who spoke in nothing but maxims.
His father's murder by Zed had clearly dealt Shen a devastating blow.
Li Ke could understand. Shen and Zed's friendship was celebrated throughout Ionia. In particular, after Shen got engaged, Zed had played matchmaker again and again, and it had become a heartwarming story.
But...
He still had to get a jab in.
"But I never said your chonmage was ugly. Why are you getting so worked up..."
Shen's face turned red. He couldn't get a word out, and he even wanted to draw his sword.
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