Love Target

In a relationship, do not assume that the woman is always the one being favored.

In any relationship, women are not necessarily the weaker party, and men are not necessarily in a position of strength.

Do not forget that we are each independent individuals, even when we are in an intimate relationship.

Do not be overly pretentious; this applies to both men and women.

Do not focus excessively on your partner.

Love is emotional, but maintaining a relationship cannot rely solely on emotion.

Do not persist in a relationship that leaves you feeling unmotivated.

Do not let "not being able to find a reason to break up" be the reason a relationship continues.

Do not compare your lover to others, especially to their face.

Regarding future prospects, do not stop your own progress because of your partner.

You do not need to lose yourself in a relationship.

Do not always aim to "change them."

Do not assume that an "intimate relationship" means both parties should understand each other without speaking.

Do not assume that falling in love with their "strengths" is the same as falling in love with them.

Do not give up on loving someone because you fear worldly judgment.

Both parties in a romantic relationship are equal; let us communicate fairly and handle problems objectively.

There are no set roles in relationships between men and women; find the state that is comfortable for both of you.

Carina Lau says: The value of a relationship lies in freedom. No one is anyone's accessory; how can there be room for personal growth if there are too many constraints?

If a minor issue can be easily let go, there is no need to remain at a stalemate over it.

Instead of focusing on every move your partner makes, you might as well put more attention into understanding and observing yourself.

Sometimes we can let reason run slightly ahead of emotion.

A good relationship gives both parties a sense of strength.

The strengths that attract you to a person are only a part of them; love is not a formula, and you cannot force the other person into your ideal template.

Lovers are not comparable to others; making them identical to someone else will only make them lose their charm.

Whether in a relationship or not, we should all strive to become better versions of ourselves. A relationship is not a stumbling block; it is a surfboard.

It is very, very, very important: love yourself before you love others.

Delusionally trying to change others is a pipe dream, but you can influence the other person by setting an example.

Even in an intimate relationship, we should provide accurate feedback to each other to confirm our thoughts and feelings.

Every skin color, every gender, every personality, and every individual has the right to choose their own intimate relationships.

I hope we are all the former:

Do not blindly demand to be coaxed; the party who is in the wrong should learn to apologize proactively.

Do not just sulk the moment you encounter a conflict.

Do not dwell on "why did they do that," but instead think about "how can we solve this to make things better."

Do not say things that you know your partner clearly dislikes, even if you really want to get it off your chest.

When your partner says something that hurts you and you strongly disagree with, use logic to refute them instead of saying something even more hurtful.

Do not force your partner to respond, because not everything needs to be treated as a "problem" that must be solved with great effort.

Do not be stubborn or narrow-minded when dealing with conflicts.

Do not be overly subjective when communicating, and try your best not to carry personal emotions into it.

If you don't want your partner to be perfunctory with you, first stop thinking that "you can't reason with women, just coaxing them is enough."

Do not start sentences with "you" when communicating; negative examples include: "You just can't..." or "It's because you first..."

Do not nag about past events or poke at your partner's sore spots when resolving conflicts.

Do not use "let's break up then" as a closing statement.

Do not do certain things just to "spite the other person."

Do not use "arguing" as an outlet for venting emotions, and do not say "I've been putting up with you for a long time."

Do not ask too many people for their opinions on the conflicts between the two of you.

A sincere "I'm sorry" can resolve many problems.

If I love you, I will tell you as much as possible why I am angry.

Objectively analyzing, reflecting, stating facts, and expressing thoughts accurately is the way to turn "fighting" into "communication."

Communicate effectively and reduce accusations and complaints. Analyze why you are angry instead of obsessing over why the other person made you angry.

When you know what you should do, set aside your pride for a moment.

Some problems will not become "major issues" even if left unresolved; the ability to solve problems is just as important as the ability to discern what actually constitutes a problem.

Let us focus on the problem together, rather than me targeting you.

Women do not have the privilege of demanding that the other party admit fault first.

Even when very angry, try taking a deep breath and stating the facts objectively before expressing your thoughts; this is more effective for communication.

Use declarative sentences instead of rhetorical questions whenever possible. ("It would be better if you did this" vs. "Can't you just...")

Arguments between lovers do not need a winner or a loser; they are merely a channel for expressing emotions.

During a cooling-off period, do not rush to contact the other person; calm your emotions first.

Matters between two people should be resolved by the two of you; do not expand the circle of conflict.

If there is something that makes you uncomfortable, you should bring it up as it happens.

When an argument becomes unhealthy (frequent betrayal by one party, vastly different life values, or mental or physical abuse), you also need to consider whether it is time to leave.

No matter how long you have been together, do not skimp on romance and a sense of ritual.

Do not neglect details out of laziness.

Do not use others' views on love as a template for your own.

Avoid being overly calculating, whether regarding money or emotions.

Do not replace thoughtfully prepared gifts with ones bought on a whim.

Do not stop maintaining your attractiveness just because you spend every day together.

Do not lack patience just because you are intimate.

Do not peek at the other person's phone; your curiosity is eroding mutual trust.

No matter how long you have been together, do not take the other person's actions for granted.

Even when you are alone in private, do not forget that you are in a relationship; consider your words and actions appropriately.

Do not make a scene; the time spent in love is short, and there is no time to waste.

Do not control the other person; give both sides space and freedom.

Do not think that making changes "for the sake of the relationship" means losing your sense of self.

Do not cheat; it is a sign of disrespect to both yourself and others.

Do not reduce the cost of communication just because you are in a long-distance relationship.

Preparing romance is not about creating "passion," but about emphasizing the sense of security that "you are worth it."

Love is a fortress built from countless details.

Many things are beyond the advice of others; it is best to think for yourself, especially when it comes to relationships.

Giving also requires a sense of balance; if you think of the other person, you will not lose that balance.

Please be as objective as possible when evaluating your significant other to friends.

Praise the other person often; they must be outstanding enough for you to like them.

Treat the person you love with the same patience you would a child.

Get to know them, and let them get to know you; do not harbor mutual suspicions.

Always keep a heart of gratitude.

Please restrain yourself when facing temptation.

Keep your paces in sync, and ensure both of you have positive plans for the future.

In this world, changing the other person is a luxury; the only way to achieve true freedom is to constantly expand your own map of the heart.

Making changes for the other person is simply a necessary part of the adjustment process.

A "Gentleman's Agreement" for long-distance relationships from Zhihu contributor KathyLee:

Do not turn off your phone during an argument; do not refuse the opportunity to communicate.

Do not argue via WeChat; text lacks tone and easily leads to misunderstandings.

Refuse to engage in the silent treatment; give the other person a way out.

Learn to understand the other person; listen to their explanations.

Maintain at least a little bit of contact every day; make a phone call during the gaps in your schedules.

The way you love is more important than love itself.