Don't assume that women are the ones who get favored in a relationship.
In a relationship, women aren't weak, and men aren't necessarily in a position of strength.
Don't forget that we're each independent individuals, even when we're in an intimate relationship.
Don't be overly melodramatic, regardless of your gender.
Don't focus too much on the other person.
Love is emotional, but you can't sustain a relationship through feelings alone.
Don't cling to a relationship that leaves you completely unmotivated.
Don't let "I can't find a reason to break up" become the reason you stay together.
Don't compare your partner to other people, especially to their face.
When it comes to your future, don't let the other person hold you back.
You don't need to lose yourself in a relationship.
Don't always make "changing them" your goal.
Don't assume that "being intimate" means you don't have to say anything because you should both just understand each other.
Don't think that loving someone's "good points" is the same as loving them.
Don't give up on loving someone because you're afraid of what society will think.
Both people in a relationship are equals. Let's communicate fairly and handle problems objectively.
Relationships between men and women have no fixed roles. Find what feels right for the two of you.
Carina Lau said, "The precious thing about love is freedom. No one is anyone else's appendage. With so many constraints, how could you have room to grow?"
If a small problem can be easily let go, there's no need to let it become a standoff fueled by emotion.
Rather than obsessing over the other person's every move, try paying more attention to understanding and noticing yourself.
Sometimes, we can let reason get a little ahead of emotion.
A good relationship gives both people a sense of strength.
The qualities that attract you to someone are only part of who they are. Love isn't a formula; you can't force the other person into your ideal mold.
Your partner isn't comparable to anyone else. Making them seem like everyone else will make them less lovable.
Whether or not we're in a relationship, we should strive to become better versions of ourselves. Love isn't a stumbling block; it's a surfboard.
This is very, very, very important: love yourself first, then love others.
Hoping to change someone else is wishful thinking, but you can lead by example and influence them.
Even in an intimate relationship, we should clearly communicate with each other and make sure we understand each other's thoughts and feelings.
Every skin color, every gender, every personality, every person has the right to choose an intimate relationship.
I hope we're all the former:
Don't always expect the other person to comfort you. The one who was in the wrong should learn to apologize first.
Don't sulk every time you run into a disagreement.
Don't fixate on "Why did they do that?" Instead, think, "How can we make things better?"
Don't say things you know the other person won't like, even if you're dying to get them off your chest.
When the other person says something hurtful that you strongly disagree with, refute them with reasons instead of saying something even more hurtful.
Don't pressure the other person to respond. Not everything needs to be treated as a "problem" that must be forcefully resolved.
Don't get stuck in a rut when dealing with disagreements.
Don't be overly subjective when you communicate; try not to let your personal emotions take over.
If you don't want the other person to brush you off, don't start by assuming, "You can't reason with women; you just have to comfort them."
When communicating, don't start with "you." Bad examples: "Can't you..." and "It's because you..."
When resolving a disagreement, don't bring up old issues or hit the other person where it hurts.
Don't use "Then let's break up" as your parting line.
Don't do things just to "make the other person mad."
Don't use arguments as an outlet for your emotions, and don't say, "I've put up with you for so long."
Don't ask too many people what they think about the conflict between you two.
A sincere "I'm sorry" can resolve many problems in no time.
If I love you, I'll do my best to tell you why I'm angry.
Objectively reflecting, stating the facts, and clearly expressing your thoughts can turn an "argument" into a "conversation."
Communicate effectively and blame and complain less. Figure out why you're angry instead of fixating on why the other person made you angry.
When you know what you should do, set your pride aside for a while.
Some problems won't become "big problems" even if you leave them unresolved. Knowing how to resolve problems is just as important as knowing what counts as a problem.
Let's tackle the problem together, instead of me taking you on.
Women don't have a special right to expect the other person to admit fault first.
Even when you're angry, try taking a deep breath, stating the facts objectively, and then expressing your thoughts. It works better for communication.
Use statements instead of rhetorical questions whenever you can. ("It'd be better if you could..." versus "Can't you just...?")
Couples don't need to win their arguments. Arguments are simply a way to express feelings.
Don't rush to contact the other person during a cooling-off period. Calm down first.
Handle matters between the two of you together; don't widen the circle of conflict.
If something is bothering you, you should bring it up at the time.
When an argument has become unhealthy—such as when one person repeatedly cheats, your values in life are too far apart, or there's emotional or physical abuse—you also need to consider whether it's time to leave.
No matter how long you've been together, don't skimp on romance or special rituals.
Don't neglect the little things just because you're lazy.
Don't use someone else's ideas about love as your own template.
Avoid keeping score, whether over money or feelings.
Don't substitute a gift picked up on a whim for one prepared with care.
Don't stop trying to be attractive just because you're together day and night.
Don't let intimacy make you impatient.
Don't snoop through the other person's phone. Your curiosity is wearing away at your mutual trust.
No matter how long you've been together, don't take what the other person does for granted.
Even when you're alone, remember you're in a relationship, and choose your words and actions with care.
Don't yell and scream. The time you have together is short, and there's no time to waste.
Don't control the other person. Give each other room to be free.
Don't think that changing "for the sake of the relationship" means you've lost yourself.
Don't cheat. It's disrespectful to both yourself and others.
Don't let being in a long-distance relationship make you cut back on communication.
Romantic gestures aren't about creating "passion"; they're about reassuring someone that "you are worth it."
Love is a fortress built from countless little details.
There are many things other people can't advise you on. It's best to think them through yourself, especially when it comes to love.
Giving should be balanced. When you consider the other person's needs, things won't become one-sided.
When talking to friends about your partner, try to be as objective as possible.
Compliment the other person more. They must be wonderful for you to have fallen for them.
Be as patient with the person you love as you would be with a child.
Get to know him, and let him get to know you. Don't be suspicious of each other.
Always be grateful.
Restrain yourself when faced with temptation.
Keep in step with each other, and make positive plans for the future together.
In this world, changing the other person is wishful thinking. True freedom comes only from continually expanding your map of the mind.
Changing for the other person is simply an inevitable part of learning to fit together.
KathyLee, a Zhihu respondent, shared this "gentleman's agreement" for long-distance relationships:
Don't turn off your phone during a fight, and don't refuse to communicate.
Don't argue over WeChat. Text has no tone, so it's easy to cause misunderstandings.
No silent treatment. Give the other person a way to make peace.
Learn to understand the other person, and listen to their explanation.
Stay in touch at least a little every day. Call when you both have a free moment.
The way you love is more important than love itself.