Erlang Shen is So Detestable

"Master, I leave this painting in your care. Please, ensure it is kept safe."

"Rest assured."

Lu Bian used the Chat Group's camera function to photograph the portrait of the Third Holy Mother and uploaded it to the group. It would be more convenient to carve while keeping the photo open in the Chat Group, as the image would remain constantly before his eyes.

He feared that staring directly at the physical portrait of the Third Holy Mother might lead to misunderstandings.

In Journey to the West, Erlang Shen is the adjective used to describe a man's handsome appearance.

Erlang Shen is the most beautiful man in the Three Realms.

As his sister, the Third Holy Mother's beauty ranks among the very top, even among the host of goddesses and female immortals in the Three Realms.

The first time Lu Bian saw the painting Liu Yanchang had made of her, he was struck by her ethereal beauty. Upon the second glance, she seemed ordinary, but by the third... an indescribable feeling stirred within his heart.

During their school days, most boys had a "white moonlight" they secretly admired. Looking at the Third Holy Mother for that third time reminded Lu Bian of his own green, youthful years.

His heart could not settle for a long time.

Shi Tianwu: [Who is this?]

Seeing Lu Bian post an image in the Chat Group, Shi Tianwu clicked to view it in detail and was similarly shocked.

Kakashi Hatake: [Are there more? Send more, I love looking at them.]

Lu Bian: [There is only this one painting.]

Lu Bian: [This is a goddess from my side. She is a true Heavenly Court goddess, known as the Third Holy Mother. She requires respect.]

Shi Tianwu: [Respect.]

Kakashi Hatake: [Respect.]

Shi Tianwu: [Are you planning to carve a statue of this Third Holy Mother?]

Lu Bian: [Yes. The old man who hired me has practically emptied his retirement savings for this.]

Shi Tianwu: [I have a feeling trouble is coming.]

Lu Bian: [I have that feeling too.]

Lu Bian harnessed his stubborn donkey to the cart and headed out of Luzhou City to search for stone suitable for carving.

Stone is found in the mountains, so Lu Bian headed toward them, the donkey cart rolling along the foot of the hills.

"Ding!"

The Earth-Shrinking Jade Talisman chimed, signaling to Lu Bian that there was a Temple of the Earth God not far ahead.

Following the guidance of the Earth-Shrinking Jade Talisman, Lu Bian found a small, humble temple.

The temple had been kept tidy and was furnished with offerings and incense—a completely different treatment from the temples Lu Bian had encountered outside the Great Song Kingdom.

"Earth God..."

Lu Bian held the Green Earth-Shrinking Talisman and summoned the local deity.

"My lord, what business do you have with this old one?"

A puff of white smoke rose, and the Earth God, standing no taller than Lu Bian's knee, appeared.

"I am looking for stone to carve a divine statue," Lu Bian said.

"I am not asking for your help for free."

"Earth God, how does one string of cash sound? I will need a great deal of stone."

"Very well, very well! I shall certainly find it for you. It is only stone; I can provide as much as you need. Once you finish the statue, I might even benefit from the reflected glory."

The Earth God dove into the ground and vanished.

Lu Bian waited by the temple.

Half an hour later, the Earth God returned with two large blocks of suitable stone.

"Take a look, my lord. If you are not satisfied, leave them here and I will go find more until you are pleased."

"I will take these two for now. I will return in a few days; you must continue to prepare more stone."

"Understood."

Cooperating with the local Earth God was quite pleasant.

"My lord, these stones are very heavy. Why not tell me where you are carving the statue? I can deliver them to you at night."

"That would be excellent. I apologize for the trouble."

"It is no trouble at all! Moving a few stones is the simplest thing for us Earth Gods."

"..."

Lu Bian led his donkey for a stroll through the mountains and returned with an empty cart, treating it as a chance for his foolish donkey to get some fresh air.

That night, in a courtyard on the outskirts of Luzhou City, the Earth God delivered the two large blocks of stone as promised.

Early the next morning, Lu Bian began his carving work.

The area around the courtyard was quiet, so the sounds of his carving would not disturb the neighbors.

The old man would visit from time to time to check on the progress of Lu Bian's carving, often sending servants to bring him meat and wine.

Seven days passed, and the stone statue of the Third Holy Mother began to take shape.

Nine days passed, and the divine charm from the portrait of the Third Holy Mother began to manifest upon the stone statue.

Another twelve days went by, and just as Lu Bian was about to complete the statue, his carving tool gave the stone a light tap, unexpectedly causing a massive crack to appear. The fissure spread across the statue in an instant, and the nearly finished image of the Third Holy Mother was ruined in the blink of an eye.

It shattered!

It broke into many pieces of rubble.

"How could this happen?"

"Fine, then I shall start again."

The local deity had found a dozen or so blocks of stone for Lu Bian, and so far, only one had been wasted.

Lu Bian started over from the beginning.

During the second attempt, Lu Bian's speed was faster than the first time, and his refinement of the details on the Third Holy Mother's statue was even more meticulous; the semi-finished product of the second attempt was already better than the halfway point of the first.

"Ding!"

"Bang--!!"

"Crack..."

It shattered.

It shattered yet again.

This time, the ground suddenly softened, causing the nearly finished statue of the Third Holy Mother to topple over. It struck a pile of stone blocks to the side, which in turn tipped over and collided with others, instantly creating a massive domino-effect collapse.

The long stone blocks intended for carving standing statues were all snapped into several pieces right down the middle.

Very well, Lu Bian was now certain that some deity was secretly obstructing him, refusing to let the statue of the Third Holy Mother be completed.

"How detestable."

This second time, not only was the nearly finished statue of the Third Holy Mother destroyed, but all the remaining unused stone blocks had been ruined as well.

"..."

Lu Bian wanted to speak ill of Erlang Shen, but he could only keep those thoughts buried in his heart.

He was currently in the Shu Region, while Erlang Shen resided at the Guanjiang Estuary. If Erlang Shen wanted to come and cause trouble for Lu Bian, he could leave in the morning and be eating at Lu Bian's funeral feast by noon.

"You won't allow it, is that it?"

"I still have a way."

That night, the local deity brought new stone blocks for Lu Bian.

Lu Bian was about to begin his third attempt at carving.

This time, he did not immediately set out to carve the statue of the Third Holy Mother; instead, he chose to carve a statue of a Buddha first.

"Handsome Monkey King of Flower-Fruit Mountain..."

"Great Sage Equal to Heaven..."

"Pilgrim Sun..."

"Victorious Fighting Buddha..."

"Son Goku."

Day and night, without rest, Lu Bian first carved the stone statue of the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, the Victorious Fighting Buddha.

Wearing the Phoenix-Wing Purple-Gold Crown, clad in the Chain-Mail Golden Armor, shod in the Lotus-Silk Cloud-Walking Boots, and gripping the Ruyi Jingu Bang in his hands~!!

Erlang Shen, what do you think of this!

How is the aura of my Great Sage?

Does it possess the grandeur of the time he caused Havoc in Heaven?

Now, how will you stop me from building a statue for your sister, the Third Holy Mother!?

Since you are so "narrow-minded," I shall let the Great Sage watch you make a fool of yourself.

Under the gaze of the "Great Sage Equal to Heaven," Lu Bian set out to complete the stone statue of the Third Holy Mother.