Hopeless Romantic

[As the Nine-Tails Jinchuriki, Naruto's childhood was lonely. The Nine-Tails Chakra that leaked out from time to time made him an oddity in the eyes of his peers and a Demon Fox in the eyes of the villagers...]

Shut up!

You useless Silly System, how dare you make snide remarks! Hurry up and think of something!

The system ignored him and continued compiling its unofficial history.

Jiang Naruto was so furious his teeth ached. He felt like his head was about to explode, but he really couldn't worry about that right now. The "Dong Trumpet" was more important!

Inside the Sealing Space,

Bibi Dong's violent Soul Power roared within her, relentlessly battering the seal of the chains. Shimmering purple-black divine power rose from the cracks splitting her body!

All it would take was a casual squeeze, and she could crush Tang San, the thorn in her side, right where he stood!

As for the consequences?

She didn't care!

This... crazy woman!

Jiang Naruto roared through gritted teeth, clinging desperately to the Eight Trigrams Seal. A rift tore open in the void, and countless golden chains shot out. The rampaging Soul Power gradually slowed, only to surge back into motion under Bibi Dong's reckless assault!

Neither side showed any sign of stopping.

The dense golden chains nearly filled the Sealing Space.

Jiang Naruto furrowed his brow and clutched his painfully aching chest. His face turned deathly pale in an instant.

This was bad!

Unlike last time,

Bibi Dong's near-suicidal actions made Naruto clearly sense the life bond between himself and Bibi Dong. If the "Dong Trumpet" died, he, the Jinchuriki, would definitely die too!

Why insist on being so painstakingly faithful to the setup in such a ridiculous situation?

If this continued, Bibi Dong's Soul Power would be completely depleted in her battle against the seal!

But could he let Bibi Dong kill Tang San?

If he let Bibi Dong kill Tang San to her heart's content, Jiang Naruto's body—currently only as strong as a Soul Scholar—could bear at most Bibi Dong's Soul Ancestor-level Soul Power. Against a furious Tang Hao, he wouldn't even be able to run.

That crazy woman Bibi Dong didn't care. She was already dead, and helping her counterpart in this world eliminate a future enemy was a massive win no matter how you looked at it.

She was old and past her prime; dying would be no loss to her.

But he was only six, a boy in the flower of his youth. He absolutely couldn't die!

Damn it! What a rotten deal, being a Jinchuriki!

Cursing inwardly, Jiang Naruto's expression turned cold. He quietly opened a crack in the Eight Trigrams Seal and sent his consciousness inside. Bibi Dong's face appeared before him, covered in black chains and bulging veins beneath a murderous, furious glare.

Naruto raised his hand and swung his arm in a wide arc!

Smack!

A crisp slap rang out.

Bibi Dong, who had been completely berserk, froze in place. The bulging veins receded, the Soul Power storm raging through the Sealing Space vanished, and the chains stopped rattling as Bibi Dong ceased her resistance.

The Sealing Space fell silent.

Naruto sucked in a sharp breath.

He quietly rubbed his stinging palm. The former Rakshasa God's face was really thick. Then he looked up and met Bibi Dong's dazed eyes.

"Calm down, you old lady!"

Bibi Dong's mouth fell slightly open, her pupils shrinking. The cheek he had just slapped quickly flushed red and burned with pain.

The next moment,

Bibi Dong turned to look at Naruto. She clenched her silver teeth, her body trembling uncontrollably against the chains restraining her.

Wait!

Naruto's expression changed drastically, and he instinctively took half a step back.

The instant he retreated, a torrent of scarlet, murderous intent erupted from behind Bibi Dong. Her furious spearhead swung around to point at Naruto!?

"You! Dare! To! Slap! Me!?"

Her shrill roar echoed through the room. Looking into Bibi Dong's blood-red eyes, Jiang Naruto felt like he was about to break down.

She'd just been ready to fight Tang San to the death, and now, over one slap, she'd forgotten all about him and turned around to fight Naruto to the death instead?

Haji-Dong, was your brain single-core?

Could you only fixate on one thing at a time?

To be fair, Naruto hadn't hit her hard enough to hurt her. But a slap... It might not do much damage, but it was deeply insulting. For certain prideful people, the damage was doubled!

He could save the jokes for later. Fine beads of cold sweat broke out on Jiang Naruto's forehead. The problem now was how to calm the enraged Bibi Dong. Her figure was already turning indistinct. This crazy woman didn't care about her own life at all!

What now?

Naruto's mind raced.

Bibi Dong, who had been about to tear apart the person in front of her, suddenly stopped of her own accord. Her rigid body relaxed, and a glimmer lit up her blood-red eyes.

Before Jiang Naruto could even wonder why, the answer appeared before him.

In the real world, a slender, middle-aged teacher with a crew cut walked past Naruto with his hands behind his back and headed straight for the gate.

"Xiao Gang?"

It was hard to imagine that Bibi Dong could speak in such a gentle voice.

Now it was Jiang Naruto's turn to fly into a rage.

Nmd!

She was a hopeless romantic!

I'll fight you to the death, Haji-Dong!

"That proves it's genuine. There's no mistake. Old sir, on behalf of the academy, I apologize to you."

Tang San discreetly put away his Hidden Weapons, then looked up curiously at the middle-aged man who had stepped in to help him and Old Jack. Old Jack stood beside him, flustered and shaking his head like a rattle-drum as he repeatedly waved his hands, insisting it was nothing.

What happened next was simple enough. Yu Xiaogang descended like a heavenly god, dressing down the gatekeeper without mercy. Then he took Tang San by the hand and led him to register.

After saying goodbye to Old Jack, Tang San asked curiously,

"Grandmaster? Are you a teacher at this academy?"

"No, no. Your name is Tang San, right?" Yu Xiaogang's voice was gentle, touched by the world-weary air unique to an artsy young man. "Tang San, remember that 'Grandmaster' and 'teacher' mean very different things. Don't call me the wrong thing in the future. As for me..."

Yu Xiaogang paused and looked into the distance, his eyes full of stories. "I'm just a friend of the headmaster's—a lodger who mooches food and board here..."

Not far away, Naruto had returned to normal, and the unsettling black chains beneath his skin had faded.

He watched the two talking at the academy gates from afar, his expression complicated—not only because this pretentious show-off had suddenly appeared, but also because the electronic voice had started up in his ear again.

[Sasuke belonged to the Uchiha Clan. As soon as he started school, he was targeted by a weirdo claiming to be a friend of the headmaster. Everyone knew that the Ninja Academy's headmaster was the Third Hokage, and the one he called a friend was none other than—Shimura Danzō!]

[Shimura Danzō, who coveted the Uchiha Clan's bloodline, had set his sights on the poor Uchiha Sasuke!]

You're still making up that unofficial history!

What good are you, you useless system!?

I only remembered to curse out Haji-Dong just now and forgot to curse you, huh?

Jiang Naruto, who had been tormented to the point of near ecstasy and agony, let loose on the stupid system. The system was useless, and Haji-Dong was useless too!

Speaking of the Dong Trumpet,

Jiang Naruto sent his consciousness downward. Inside the Sealing Space, golden chains covered in runes crowded together like a forest. At the center, Bibi Dong looked like a hedgehog wrapped in chains. To be safe, Naruto had layered on several more coils, one over another.

The murderous storm that had raged earlier had subsided, and Bibi Dong's once indistinct body had grown solid again.

Naruto's consciousness passed through the dense chains and came before Bibi Dong. The handprint on her cheek had yet to fade. She lowered her eyes and pressed her lips together, sunk in sorrow.

She looked just like a scorned wife...

Getting involved with a hopeless romantic meant there was no reasoning with her. Jiang Naruto was full of pent-up complaints, but all he could do was fold his arms and shoot her a sidelong glance.

"Not going to threaten Tang San anymore?"

"There'll be plenty of chances to kill Tang San..."

Bibi Dong's voice was slow. Maybe Naruto had hit a nerve and embarrassed her, or maybe she truly still had feelings for him.

"Now is the happiest moment for Xiao Gang. I can't..."

"The happiest?" Naruto's voice suddenly rose. His eyes widened, and he burst out laughing. "Ha ha! The happiest moment for him will probably be when his beloved disciple kills you."

"Bullshit!"

The chains restraining Bibi Dong began to make a dangerous sizzling sound again. With only her head able to move, Bibi Dong stretched out her neck, her expression venomous, as though she wanted to bite a chunk out of Naruto.

"He called my name back then! He absolutely had feelings for me! If not for..."

The triggered Haji-Dong launched into a long, rambling monologue. Naruto let his eyelids droop and picked at his ear. He didn't take in a single word.

"Fine, fine. I'm not arguing with a hopeless romantic about this."

"What do you mean, 'hopeless romantic'?!"

Just from Naruto's tone, Bibi Dong could tell it wasn't a compliment. She was about to say more when Naruto swung his arm in a wide arc again.

Smack!

A crisp slap echoed through the space.

A handprint appeared on the previously flawless left side of Bibi Dong's face. She froze for a moment, then her expression shifted from blankness to murderous fury. Her bloodthirsty gaze fixed on Naruto.

"You slapped me again!"

"I'll slap you as much as I want!"

Reflected in Bibi Dong's pupils was Naruto, spitting as he raged, "You nearly got both of us killed just now! What do you mean, there'll be plenty of chances to kill Tang San? Did you get your head caught in a door?"

Bibi Dong's imposing aura faltered. Then she clenched her silver teeth. Unable to move her body, she could only...

Thud!

Naruto let out a muffled cry as Bibi Dong slammed her forehead into his!

The dignified Pope of Spirit Hall had actually resorted to such a primitive, savage attack!

"He's only at level ten! If you useless brat hadn't stopped me, I could've crushed him with a wave of my hand!" Bibi Dong lifted her head proudly and shouted. If this brat hadn't stopped her, she would have killed Tang San already!

Their clash was downright ridiculous. One was barely six years old and had no attack methods like Soul Skills to speak of. In his daily life, he even had to jump to reach Bibi Dong's head.

The other was the complete opposite. Her health bar and damage were maxed out, yet she was bound by golden rune chains and couldn't move.

Where there was a sleeping dragon, there was always a young phoenix. These two useless noobs had actually started fighting...

Still,

Their behavior was laughable, but their anger was real.

"Stop calling yourself 'this seat'! Keep it up and I'll hit you again! What level is Tang Hao now? Do you know where he's hiding? Do you know if he's following Tang San!?"

"Tang Hao..."

Bibi Dong panted heavily. The hair coiled at the back of her head had somehow come undone, leaving her looking thoroughly disheveled. She murmured the name of her enemy, her confidence slowly draining, but she still stubbornly retorted,

"What trash! So what if Tang Hao shows up? I... I'll kill him all the same!"

"You foolish woman! The Soul Power you just let loose nearly got me killed! You're nothing but a mass of conscious Soul Power right now! You don't even have a physical body! If I die, you die too! Do you understand!?"

Naruto's final roar ended the fight.

Bibi Dong's eyes were red as she glared at Naruto through her disheveled hair, but she couldn't come up with another excuse. She could only clench her teeth and grumble a few times in protest before turning her head away and falling silent.

"Phew..."

Jiang Naruto gasped for breath. Seeing Bibi Dong look away, he finally dared to suck in a few breaths. The muscles at his temples twitched uncontrollably.

He'd finally managed to pin this Haji-Dong down.

Jiang Naruto withdrew his consciousness.

"..."

The empty Sealing Space fell silent again. Only after he'd left did Bibi Dong mutter under her breath,

"You're just too weak, brat!"