"Ah-choo!"
Su Yun rubbed his nose.
"Which commoner is plotting against me now?"
He muttered to himself and casually handed the candied hawthorn skewer he'd just bought to Xiao Wu.
Life these past few days had been downright delightful.
He could tease the rabbit, stroll around town, and occasionally wander by the blacksmith's shop to admire Tang San's expression—the look of someone who couldn't stand him but couldn't do a thing about it, either.
Now this was the kind of pace a transmigrator deserved.
What was the point of all that fighting and killing? Enjoying life was the way to go.
However.
Happy times were always short-lived, like the post-climax clarity that unfailingly came right after the peak.
Just as Su Yun and Xiao Wu returned laden with their purchases, ready to head back to the villa for a sumptuous dinner,
a familiar figure appeared silently at the entrance.
Clad in black armor and shrouded in ghostly energy, he stood there like a block of ice that had never melted in ten thousand years, lowering the temperature around him by several degrees.
Ghost Douluo, Gui Mei.
Su Yun stopped in his tracks, the smile on his face instantly freezing.
"Elder Gui?"
"What are you doing out in broad daylight? Aren't you afraid of getting sunburned?"
Gui Mei: "..."
The boy's mouth was as irritating as ever.
Ignoring Su Yun's teasing, he simply pulled out a scroll of parchment, his voice hoarse:
"Your Highness, had enough fun?"
"If you have, then it's time to go home."
Su Yun's heart gave a sudden lurch.
Home?
Which home?
"An imperial decree from the Pope."
Gui Mei unfurled the parchment and read it expressionlessly:
"Holy Son Su Yun has been away from home for a long time, neglecting his studies. Effective immediately, Gui Mei is to escort him back to the palace, where he will be confined to his quarters to reflect and devote himself to cultivation. No delays."
"Huh?"
Su Yun's eyes widened.
"Neglecting my studies? I've only been out for a few days! How have I neglected anything?"
"And I just took in Xiao Wu and trampled Tang San underfoot. This is the perfect time to press my advantage, and now you're making me go back?"
"I refuse! I want to appeal!"
Gui Mei put away the decree and glanced at him, his eyes carrying three parts sympathy and seven parts schadenfreude.
"Her Holiness said your appeal would be denied."
"She also said..."
Gui Mei paused, seeming to imitate a certain empress's tone:
"Don't want to come back? Fine. Then break his legs and drag him back."
Su Yun: "..."
What a ruthless woman.
This wasn't an invitation to come home for dinner. This was clearly a call to go back and sit in jail!
He turned to look at Xiao Wu.
The little rabbit was holding a pile of new clothes and snacks, staring at them in confusion.
"Brother Su Yun, are you leaving?"
Xiao Wu's voice trembled a little. She clutched the hem of Su Yun's clothes tightly, her big eyes instantly brimming with tears.
She'd finally found a home, finally found someone who treated her well.
And now they had to part?
Seeing those red-rimmed eyes, Su Yun felt his heart soften.
Though he had approached Xiao Wu with an ulterior motive, they'd spent the past few days together, and people were made of flesh and blood. It would be a lie to say he felt nothing.
"Phew..."
Su Yun exhaled and crouched down, gently wiping away the tears at the corners of Xiao Wu's eyes.
"Your brother has something to take care of. I have to go home for a while."
"But don't worry. This villa is yours, and I've left you plenty of money."
"No one in Notting City will dare bully you. If that Tang San dares to harass you, use the soft techniques I taught you and slam him into the ground until he's half dead."
Su Yun pulled a token from his robes—a Spirit Hall Token—and pressed it into Xiao Wu's hand.
"Keep this. If you run into trouble, go to the Spirit Hall Branch and find an old man named Ma Xiunuo. When he sees this, he'll have to kneel and speak to you."
Xiao Wu nodded between sobs, clutching the token as if it were the last straw keeping her afloat.
"Will you come back?"
"Of course."
Su Yun smiled, his expression bright as sunshine.
"Once my divine arts are complete, I'll come for you."
"Then I'll take you somewhere bigger and prettier, and give you carrots every day."
Having drawn her a grand promise—one he really meant—and soothed the little rabbit, Su Yun stood up, took a deep breath, and turned to Gui Mei.
"Let's go, Elder Gui."
"Better to die early and be reborn sooner."
"I'd like to see what that old woman... ahem, what my teacher wants with me so urgently."
The carriage started moving again and left Notting City behind.
Inside, Su Yun watched the scenery gradually recede beyond the window, his mood rather gloomy.
He'd barely left the beginner village before being forcibly sent back. This game had a terrible player experience.
"No, I can't let this go."
"If you won't let me have an easy time, then I won't let you have one, either."
A wicked idea struck him, and he pulled out the Diary that had Bibi Dong quaking in her boots.
This time, he was going all out.
[Month X, Day X. Overcast.]
[In an awful mood.]
[I'd just soothed the little rabbit and trampled Tang San, and was about to make a big splash, when Bibi Dong, that old woman, summoned me back with a single decree.]
[And her excuse was "neglecting my studies"?]
[Hah!]
[I think she's just got too much time on her hands! She can't stand seeing me happy!]
[Or maybe... she misses me?]
[Tsk, that wouldn't be surprising. A disciple as handsome, dashing, and considerate as me is rare in this world.]
[That gorgeous woman who's been alone for twenty years must get lonely, too.]
[Fine, fine. Since you miss me so much, I'll go back and keep you company.]
[But Dong'er, we need to agree on three rules.]
[When I get back, you're not allowed to spank me, confiscate my private stash, or...]
[sneak into my bed in the middle of the night.]
[I know I'm very charming, but we're master and disciple, after all. If word got out, even in a place as simple and honest as Douluo Continent (not), we'd be thrown into a pig cage!]
[If you really can't help yourself...]
[Ahem. Remember to turn off the lights.]
Spirit City, Pope Palace.
"Boom!"
A deafening blast rang out like thunder from a clear sky.
Bibi Dong was reviewing memorials when her Soul Power suddenly went out of control, shattering the Millennium Ironwood desk before her into powder.
Amid the swirling splinters, the Pope's face turned so red it looked ready to drip blood.
From embarrassment, and even more from anger.
"Climb into bed?!"
"Turn off the lights?!"
"Su! Yun!"
"You insolent disciple! What kind of dirty thoughts are rattling around in your head?!"
Bibi Dong trembled with anger, her chest rising and falling violently, its breathtaking curves quivering in the air.
When had she ever missed him?
When had she ever been lonely?
She'd summoned him back to protect him!
To stop Tang Hao, that madman, from sneaking up and clubbing him over the head!
But the bastard not only failed to appreciate it, he even dared to slander her like this in his Diary!
"Good. Very good."
Bibi Dong took several deep breaths, forcibly suppressing her embarrassment and anger as a dangerous glint flashed in her eyes.
"You want me to turn off the lights, do you?"
"Fine."
"When you get back, I'll show you what 'the terror in the dark' really means."
"Guards!"
"Take out all the lights in the Holy Son Hall! Replace them with candles!"
"I'll make sure he 'reflects' properly!"
Before you continue