Turn into the Wudang Sect in One Second

Turn into the Wudang Sect in One Second

Yan Lao Wu had indeed been drinking. Once he sobered up tomorrow, who knew what his attitude would be?

The upright side of Zi Bofeng had read so many classics that he always kept a trace of kindness in his heart. Though his tongue was sharp, he was willing to give people a chance. The Zi father and son had indeed received quite a bit of care while living in Lower Yan Village.

Yet the unruly side of Zi Bofeng was hot-blooded and impulsive, unwilling to suffer the slightest grievance. Whoever provoked him, he wished he could beat them to death with a single stick.

After wrestling with himself for a long while, the east wind finally overwhelmed the west wind, and Zi Bofeng decided to temporarily suppress his impulse.

As he walked and pondered, Zi Bofeng looked up and discovered that the entire village was silent.

With a "click," Zi Bofeng turned his head to see someone sliding a bolt across the side gate. A pair of dark, gleaming eyes blinked through the crack. They met Zi Bofeng's gaze for an instant, then fled in panic.

Zi Bofeng suddenly understood. The news of tax collection had already spread through the entire village.

At this moment, there was probably not a single person in the village who did not know.

Hiding from me? Could hiding from me help them hide from the tax collectors? If hiding worked, what would officials and soldiers be for?

For an instant, Zi Bofeng felt both angry and amused. He thought, Since you're hiding from me, then I'll come to your doors and collect taxes. Let's see what you do then!

Zi Bofeng walked up to the gate, pounded on it hard, and shouted, "Is anyone in there?"

"I know you're inside. Stop hiding and open up!"

Zi Bofeng truly had the bearing of one of those corrupt officials from television. After shouting viciously a few times, he finally heard a tiny voice from within. "N-no one..."

"Xiao Tuozi?" Zi Bofeng called. "Open the door! I'm here to collect taxes from your family!"

This Xiao Tuozi's name did not use the character for hunchback, but the one for a lump. He was called that because of his father, Lao Tuozi. It was said that when Lao Tuozi was born, he immediately took a lump of a shit, so he was named Tuozi. No one knew whether that was true, but whenever anyone mentioned Lao Tuozi, he would get furious.

"M-my dad said not to open the door no matter who knocks..." Xiao Tuozi said weakly. He was about the same age as Little Stone and looked much the same too: big head, thin neck, and the appearance of malnutrition. But unlike Little Stone, who ran up mountains and down rivers every day, Xiao Tuozi always spoke in a soft, timid voice and barely moved around. His family was considered one of the most honest in Lower Yan Village.

"Then where's your father? Is your father home?"

"My dad said he isn't."

Zi Bofeng nearly burst out laughing. He felt it was somewhat wrong to bully a child, but Xiao Tuozi was just too amusing. Zi Bofeng could not help wanting to tease him.

"Your dad said he isn't home. Did he say whether your mother is home?" Zi Bofeng asked.

Then, through the door, Xiao Tuozi lowered his voice and asked, "Dad, is Mom home?"

After a long while, Xiao Tuozi's tearful voice came from inside. "My dad said Mom isn't home either..."

"Hahahahaha..." Zi Bofeng finally could not hold it in any longer and burst into wild laughter. All his earlier anger and gloom were swept away. Clutching his stomach and pounding the wall, he laughed until heaven and earth went dark.

Perhaps sensing his mirth, laughter like thunder rolled from the sky above, while laughter like a dragon's roar rose from beneath the earth, echoing Zi Bofeng's laughter.

"Uncle Blue Rock, you think it's funny too?" Zi Bofeng asked, clutching his stomach and gasping for breath.

Looking up, he could see Blue Stone halfway up the mountain breathing out and drawing in spiritual energy, shaping it into words.

Mm, funny. Parentheses, nodding.

Zi Bofeng imagined a huge rock solemnly nodding and saying it was funny, and immediately burst into another fit of wild laughter. When he finished, he heard soft sobbing from inside and suddenly realized he had caused another not-too-big, not-too-small disaster, getting Xiao Tuozi beaten.

"Alright, alright, stop hitting the child. If you're not home, then you're not home. I'll come back eventually anyway." Zi Bofeng patted the brushwood gate and turned to leave, only to hear a creak from across the way. Someone opened a door and glared angrily at Zi Bofeng. "Which little bastard is laughing and ruining Grandpa's good sleep?"

The man was bare-chested, wearing only a pair of bull-nose shorts below the waist. His face was full of flesh, and he looked vicious as a fiend. The moment he opened his mouth, a reeking blast of alcohol poured out, enough to make one nauseous.

Lao Tuozi's neighbor, despite Lao Tuozi being a famously honest man in the village, was a notorious hooligan. He stole chickens and dogs all day, wandered east and drifted west, and whenever he got a little money, he traded it for liquor. People called him Si Gou.

Zi Bofeng flew into a rage at those words. "Si Gou, open your dog eyes wide and look! Standing before you is your Grandpa Zi Bofeng!"

There was a way to deal with honest people, and there was also a hooligan's style for dealing with hooligans. Zi Bofeng planted his hands on his hips, carrying the aura of one man guarding the pass against ten thousand.

"Get lost!" Si Gou threw a punch straight at him. Zi Bofeng dodged aside, but he had not expected Si Gou's rich fighting experience. Si Gou spread his huge hand and grabbed Zi Bofeng, then swung up his other fist and punched him in the side of the face.

In terms of strength, Zi Bofeng could not compare to Si Gou even if he rode a horse. Though he had the Monster Raising Art, it did not seem to contain anything that increased combat power. The punch left Zi Bofeng seeing stars, and then a kick sent him sprawling to the ground in a sorry state. He had not expected Si Gou to really hit him.

Yan Lao Wu had not dared to hit Zi Bofeng because Yan Lao Wu understood reason. He knew a Xiucai could not be beaten, or at least not by common folk like them. But what did Si Gou know of that? He only knew that the annoying bookworm from the village had disturbed his sweet dream. A bookworm like that, he would beat every time he saw one.

"With those little arms and little legs of yours, you dare challenge your grandpa?" Si Gou grabbed Zi Bofeng by the collar with one hand and lifted his whole body off the ground. Si Gou truly had an unusual natural gift. In sheer strength, this hooligan who spent every day eating, drinking, whoring, and gambling was hardly inferior to Uncle Zhuzi, who fought fierce tigers and captured wild wolves in the mountains every day.

Zi Bofeng struggled twice but could not break free, when Little Stone's voice rang out. "Let go of my brother!"

Little Stone came running from who knew where, charging at Si Gou with gritted teeth like a crazed young calf.

"Get lost, little brat!" Si Gou held Zi Bofeng in one hand and swept Little Stone aside with the other. Little Stone fell flat on his face, but without a sound, he climbed back up and threw himself at Si Gou's leg, biting down hard.

"Little Stone!" Zi Bofeng cried out in alarm. "Si Gou, if you dare hit Little Stone, I'll make sure you can't swallow it or carry it away!"

"Hey, little brat, are you a dog or something..." It was no longer a question of Si Gou hitting Little Stone. Little Stone had clamped onto Si Gou and would not let go. Si Gou raised a fist the size of a bowl and swung it toward the top of Little Stone's head.

Si Gou's strength was tremendous. If that blow landed solidly, Little Stone would be dead even if he did not become an idiot.

"Hey!" Zi Bofeng suddenly let his tongue battle spring thunder. That furious roar was truly like a clap of spring thunder, rising from the heavens and ringing from the earth. It exploded beside Si Gou's ear, leaving his head buzzing and his mind reeling.

Zi Bofeng broke free in the opening. As the saying went, strike a snake seven inches from its head; kick a man in the crotch. Zi Bofeng yanked Little Stone behind him, then raised his leg. Faster than words could tell, he kicked Si Gou squarely in the crotch.

Urgh—

The scene froze at once. The hooligan turned into the Wudang Sect in one second.

Si Gou collapsed, clutching his crotch. His eyes rolled white and foam spilled from his mouth as he struggled to say, "You little bastard, you're courting death..."

Zi Bofeng pulled Little Stone behind him, straightened his disheveled clothes, and looked down at Si Gou, who was kneeling and sprawled on the ground. He shouted, "Si Gou, even if you know your crime and kneel to beg forgiveness, it's useless! I may only be a Xiucai and merely the Village Chief, but I am still the chief of this village appointed by the Prefect. Not only have you defied orders, you even dared lay hands on someone. Let me tell you, this is a capital crime!"

"Capital my ass..." Si Gou was still talking tough. He struggled to climb back up. It had to be said, Si Gou was at least a tough fellow.

"Capital your fucking ass!" Zi Bofeng added one word and threw it back at him. He kicked Si Gou in the face, straightened his clothes again, and said, "Wait here. I'm going to bring soldiers to arrest you!"

With that, he took Little Stone's hand and turned away.

Little Stone walked off while looking back every few steps, seemingly reluctant to part with the taste of that thigh.

After walking a few steps, he looked up at Zi Bofeng excitedly. "Brother, are you really going to bring soldiers to arrest him?"

He looked thrilled at the prospect of chaos sweeping the world.

Zi Bofeng rolled his eyes at him. "You actually believe that? If I could bring soldiers..." Zi Bofeng suddenly stopped and slapped his forehead.

That's right. The reason his situation was so difficult was because he had no force of his own. As a dignified Xiucai, the parent official of dozens of households and several hundred people in Lower Yan Village, he did not even have an attendant or follower. It would be humiliating if word got out.

It was one thing to personally collect taxes, but even fighting had to be done by himself. How undignified was that?

Once this young master had ten or so followers as fierce as wolves and tigers standing at every family's gate, who would dare refuse to obediently hand over their taxes? Whoever dared not pay, he would beat the hell out of them, smash the hell out of them, rob the hell out of them.

Mm, being a corrupt official did not seem so bad after all.

"Little Stone, go home first and ask whether my father has finished making dinner. I'm hungry," Zi Bofeng said. At the mention of food, Little Stone immediately rubbed his little belly. It had long been flat and empty. He nodded again and again. "Mm, I'll go right away."

Seeing Little Stone turn to leave, Zi Bofeng worriedly reminded him, "Take a detour. Don't let Si Gou catch you."

"Mm!" Little Stone scratched his head sheepishly and ran off along another route.

Only after Little Stone had gone far away did Zi Bofeng look in Blue Stone's direction and quietly ask, "Uncle Blue Rock, can you turn into soldiers?"

Shaking head, cannot.

Zi Bofeng had only asked casually. Big Blue Rock had only just reached the fourth realm, Opening Wisdom, and could only use a few innate spells. In Zi Bofeng's view, that innate spell was probably "laughter."

But Zi Bofeng's mind was turning quickly now. As his eyes rolled, Plan B came to him. He turned and headed toward the ancestral hall in the north of the village.