Call Me Dad!

A gigantic tree radiating a red glow stood before him, its withered branches and dead leaves twisting as they shot toward the heavens.

Beneath the tree was a monster as tall as a man, six black iron pillars driven through its body and pinning it to the trunk.

It was a monster that could, at a stretch, be called humanoid—it had hands, feet, a head, and even facial features!

Its hands, however, were octopus-like Tentacles covered in densely packed scarlet eyes...

Its feet were fairly normal—if one ignored its four thick toes.

Its head was huge, but it had only a gaping bloody mouth filled with sharp fangs. A long, thin, spiked tongue stretched from its mouth all the way down to its chest.

That was right, above the face on its chest that looked exactly like his.

The face opened its eyes. Upon seeing Wei En, it gave him a wicked smile.

"Apu, Runo, Ruixi..." (Chaos, Despair, death...)

Wei En stared blankly at everything before him.

It was just a simple meditation. Was all this really necessary?

"What the hell are you?"

The smile froze on the face. It looked at Wei En in surprise, as though wondering why this person had not fainted yet.

"Apu, Runo, Ruixi..." (Chaos, Despair, death...)

"What does that mean?"

Seeing the expression on the face, Wei En warily glanced at those bizarre Tentacles and asked.

"Ruixi!" (Death!)

The face stubbornly repeated itself, but when it saw Wei En still standing upright, its expression fell. "A..."

"Can't you speak human?"

Summoning his courage, Wei En stepped forward and slapped the face.

He had already realized that this bizarre thing could not hurt him.

If there really had been danger, he would not have been able to escape from a monster this huge anyway.

Just like the most widely spread saying in this world: don't bother hiding from small disasters; you can't hide from big ones.

The face noticed what he was doing and opened its mouth in terror. "Haa!" (Don't!)

Crack!

The slap did not feel like striking flesh. Instead, it produced a crisp sound like shattering glass.

"It broke?"

It was not the monster that had shattered, but the entire surrounding space.

Black cracks appeared across the monster and the giant tree behind it, making a series of cracking sounds.

Then the entire space shattered, as though he had scattered a complete puzzle. It dissolved into nothingness in countless specks of light.

Wei En's vision blurred. When he could see clearly again, he was back in his familiar room.

"This is... meditation?"

How could this possibly be meditation?

"Ruixi."

At that moment, a voice sounded by his ear.

Wei En leaped away in fright and spun around. "Who? Who said that?"

Nobody?

He turned in a circle and carefully examined the room, but found nothing.

Was he hallucinating again?

"Apu."

"Not a hallucination! Bastard, where are you? Come out!"

"Ruixi."

Hearing that voice again, Wei En felt like he was about to lose his mind. He was certain it belonged to that monster with a face growing from its waist.

But no matter how he searched, he found nothing—until he looked upward...

"Fuck!"

Wei En jolted in fright and stared wide-eyed at the face floating in midair.

No, more precisely, it was a head that looked exactly like his.

Even stranger—it was only a head, round like a ball, without even a neck.

"What the hell are you? Why won't you leave me alone?"

"Runo."

"Runo my ass!"

This time, Wei En could not endure it any longer. He jumped up and slapped it.

But,

he touched nothing and nearly threw himself off balance.

"An illusion? A Ghost? Or..." Wei En climbed up from the floor and stared at it blankly.

"Apu."

The head glanced at him, its eyes seeming filled with disdain.

Wei En was furious. "I can't deal with you?"

Ever since he had read that Meditation Method, this damned thing had latched onto him. He could not shake it off no matter what he did.

And that bastard's expression was far too infuriating.

"You bastard—hm?"

Only then did he realize that the head... seemed to be eating something?

He lowered the chair he had just picked up and watched for a while, confirming that it really was eating something.

Whenever the head spoke a few syllables, its mouth would open wide, then chew and swallow continuously as though it had bitten off a piece of meat...

Once the chewing stopped, it would speak again.

It only repeated three sounds over and over: Ruixi, Apu, Runo.

"What exactly is going on?"

After observing for a while longer and confirming that the head posed no threat to him,

Wei En checked the System Panel in his mind to see whether anything had changed.

Sure enough, there really was a notification!

[Meditated for one hour. Reward: Mental Level +0.01.]

Meditated for... one hour?

Wei En looked up at the head, feeling as though his brain was no longer enough.

Was this really fucking meditation?

What kind of meditation looked like this?

Clang!

At that moment, a sound came from the Blue-White Box, the "Auto-Exchange Machine," louder than any noise it had made before.

Hm? Had the school sent something?

Wei En glared at the head once more before turning to open the box and take out the items inside.

A letter and a Crystal Ball?

Confused, he opened the letter and began reading.

"Congratulations on becoming the 10,038,234th Wizard Apprentice of Specter School. We hope you will not mind this entrance test. Everything was for the peace of Specter School!"

"The Ghost Meditation Method has another name—the Spirit Devouring Method. It is our school's greatest secret, and we apologize for not informing you in advance."

"As a reward for keeping this secret, all future knowledge exchanges within the school will be discounted by ten percent. A Crystal Ball is also included. (Place your head against it to check your Mental Level.)"

"Note 1: Any abnormalities that appear while you meditate are normal. The school recommends that you grow accustomed to and embrace its existence. It will not have any impact on your life.

"More precisely, aside from wizards of Specter School, no one else has any way of detecting its existence!"

"Note 2: Try not to hit it, as that will interrupt your meditation. Of course, you can hit it with mental power! (Consider this a kind reminder from me. After all, the other Apprentices in the school...)"

"Note 3: It possesses a certain amount of intelligence, but not much!"

"Lastly, let us remember that saying: On the path of pursuing knowledge, death is not the end—Specter School Apprentice Management Office!"

After finishing the letter, Wei En could not help reading it again, especially that kind reminder from the Apprentice Management Office...

So he had simply been hitting it the wrong way before!

Wei En put away the letter and set it on the table. Then, with a sinister grin, he looked at the head in midair, clenched one hand into a fist, and gathered mental power around it.

The head noticed his movement and confusedly uttered a syllable. "Ruixi?"

Wei En swung his fist. "Ruixi my ass, call me Dad!"

Thank you all for your favorites, investments, and comments. I hope you enjoy this story.

Finally, this book was signed today. I sincerely ask everyone to keep reading daily. Thank you so much!