Dumbledore's Inquiry, Headmaster's Portrait

"Old friend, would you be willing to have a chat with me about that young man, Lucien?"

Dumbledore asked the Sorting Hat with a beaming smile.

The Sorting Hat shifted the eye-socket-like hollows on its surface and glanced at the long-bearded old man. Its slit of a mouth twisted to one side.

"No."

That crisp, decisive refusal made Dumbledore's smile freeze on his face.

After a long while, the old man gave an awkward shake of his head.

"Er, I merely wanted to understand what qualities that child Lucien has that made you so conflicted."

Faced with Dumbledore's question, the Sorting Hat swayed its pointed tip.

"Kid, how many years have you been headmaster of Hogwarts?"

Seeing the Sorting Hat toss him an unrelated question instead, Dumbledore did not get angry. Instead, he thought back, as if recalling the past.

"I took over as headmaster in '56. That makes exactly thirty-five years this year."

"Oh."

The Sorting Hat only said "oh" and then fell silent again. Dumbledore truly could not understand why the hat's temper was so odd today.

Could it really have been affected by the matter of Lucien's Sorting?

"In these thirty-five years, why?"

"Have you never once cleaned me!?"

The Sorting Hat's sudden "accusation" left Dumbledore rather stunned as well.

"Mm, ah?"

Sensing old Dumbledore's bewilderment, the Sorting Hat seemed to grow even angrier, its mouth starting to chatter nonstop.

"Oh, Merlin's hat, I can't even remember when I was last properly cleaned!"

"You headmasters and professors, every last one of you, only remember me when the new students enter each year, then toss me back on the shelf after you're done!"

"Every time, I can read the young wizards' thoughts about how much they dislike me!"

"I am clearly the smartest hat in the world. How can I be treated like this!"

"..."

The more Dumbledore listened to the Sorting Hat's complaints, the more puzzled he became.

In the past, the Sorting Hat had always sat silently in the corner of the shelf, only occasionally humming a few lines of the song it would sing at the next year's ceremony.

So why, after this Sorting ceremony, did the hat's thoughts seem to have become much more active?

What was different this year?

It could only have been Lucien's Sorting ceremony, which had lasted more than ten minutes and made history...

Dumbledore could not help tugging at his beard, and the look he gave the Sorting Hat grew increasingly strange.

It could not really be broken, could it?

"Kid, what are you looking at!"

"You want to ask me about Lucien?"

"Give me a full-body cleaning first!!!"

A dozen minutes later.

Dumbledore sat beside the table, holding a small brush in his hand as he cleaned the Sorting Hat bit by bit.

"Mm, yes, yes, that's the spot. Put a little more strength into it!"

"Dip it in some warm water. That's not how you wipe off a stain."

"You're over a hundred years old, and you don't even know how to scrub a hat?"

The Sorting Hat enjoyed being personally cared for by the greatest wizard of the century while also disdainfully criticizing his technique.

And Dumbledore actually did not get angry. Instead, he kept smiling.

The Sorting Hat had demanded that he not use magic to fob it off, and that he had to scrub it by hand.

But in Dumbledore's view, it was a novel experience anyway, so there was no harm in trying it.

"All right, old friend. Can you talk to me about Lucien now?"

The Sorting Hat narrowed its eyes, enjoying the cleaning, and answered without a care.

"Yes. He is very suited to Ravenclaw."

"I could tell. Anything else?"

"He is also suited to Slytherin."

Hearing that, Dumbledore could not help wanting to sigh.

Such outstanding talent, and such hidden ambition again?

"Oh, he's suited to Hufflepuff too?"

"Mm, mm?"

Dumbledore held back the sigh he wanted to let out.

"Are you certain?"

The Sorting Hat tilted up its tip.

"Of course. How could I sort him wrongly? Besides, he'd actually do just fine in Gryffindor too."

The brush in Dumbledore's hand paused. Once again, he suspected that this hat might truly have fallen into disrepair with age and developed a problem.

"Why did you stop?"

"All right, to be honest, this is the first time I've ever seen a young wizard like this, possessing so many traits that fit all four Houses."

Dumbledore resumed cleaning and asked, "Then why Ravenclaw in the end?"

The Sorting Hat shrugged its brim and said lightly, "Because he felt..."

"Oh no, I feel that the pursuit of wisdom and the thirst for knowledge are Lucien's essence."

"It's just that in the wizarding world, knowledge equals power. And in the process of seeking knowledge, the steadiness, hard work, courage, and resolve he displayed were all very clear, and hard to ignore."

Dumbledore nodded, putting a bit more force into his hand, but he felt much more relaxed.

"Thank you. It seems Lucien will be a good student."

"By the way, did you check at the time what areas Lucien was especially talented in?"

Before the Sorting Hat could answer, however, a portrait in the headmaster's office spoke up and cut it off.

"I've been listening to you prattle on for ages. You're making so much noise I can't even sleep!"

"Since he wasn't sorted into our Slytherin in the end, I'd say this Lucien you're talking about can't be all that talented."

The voice was sharp and arrogant, extremely unpleasant to hear.

Dumbledore rubbed his forehead. He did not particularly want to deal with this former headmaster, who was an ardent advocate of pure blood.

But that was all right. Someone had already answered for him.

Another portrait, depicting a stern, imposing man, stirred to life, and a rough, booming voice rang out.

"Phineas, I truly want to plug up that nasty tongue of yours. 'Our Slytherin'? Have some shame!"

"Hah, Morgan, I can't even be bothered to speak with a reckless lion like you."

Phineas stroked his little mustache and said disdainfully.

"When I was headmaster, what I disliked most were those Ravenclaw students, always chasing after their 'knowledge' and always thinking they were right about everything."

"Phineas, do you want to try the weight of 'knowledge' again?"

The portrait of a beautiful, elegant lady also came to life. Wearing a pair of silver-rimmed glasses, she had a quiet, refined air.

But in her hand, a heavy tome had appeared—the sort that, if smashed into the back of someone's head, would be equivalent to being knocked out cold.

Listening to the portraits of the past headmasters and headmistresses argue back and forth, Dumbledore helplessly pinched the space between his brows.

Phineas Black, holder of the title "the most unpopular headmaster in the history of Hogwarts."

"Boy from the Black family, stop squawking."

"Compared to Lucien, your talent is like a troll's brain. You'd need a magnifying glass to find it."

The Sorting Hat's mockery directly brought the quarrel among the portraits to an end.

"Pfft, hahahahahahaha..."

"A troll's brain! Since when was the Sorting Hat this good with words? How did I never discover that back then?"

"Phineas, if you heard that, squeak for us!"

The headmaster portraits all laughed. The headmasters who had come from Gryffindor laughed the loudest.

Even the headmasters who had likewise come from Slytherin were laughing. To be honest, they also felt Phineas was far too absurd. As a headmaster, he had not cared about the students' education at all, and no one even knew what he did care about.

Dumbledore simply did not laugh aloud, and his abundant white beard did an excellent job of hiding the upward curve of his mouth.

The Sorting Hat noticed that the hand Dumbledore held the brush in had stopped again, and its mouth split wide open.

"What are you laughing at now? Lucien's talent is far better than yours too!"