Hot Fish Helps People

Takaba's heavy punch slammed into Xuan's cheek, while Xuan's heavy punch smashed into Takaba's cheek.

Blood sprayed out, splattering across the surrounding snow.

"I think you have a point."

Takaba took two steps back, and the snow-capped mountains around them instantly receded. The two arrived on a variety-show-like stage.

"Sure enough, we still have to avoid copyright issues."

Xuan rubbed his still-aching right cheek as his reverse cursed technique kicked in—Takaba had not been hurt at all in that playful fight just now. On the contrary, Xuan himself had taken every hit in full.

Whether it was the flames, the punches, or even the badminton shuttlecock that had struck his face earlier, all of them possessed the power to injure him.

Even with cursed energy reinforcement, he could not block them at all. It was like true damage, and moreover—

Takaba could repair his body without using a reverse cursed technique at all. In other words, conventional attacks were completely useless against Takaba here.

This was also the first time in Xuan's life that he had ever considered the possibility of "losing."

Of course, if the other side fought this way, then even if they kept fighting until his technique was confiscated nineteen days later, he probably would not be able to hurt him at all.

"Hey! This is a competition stage. Are you going to make me talk to the audience by myself?"

In other words, just as he had made his opponents stop before, this time, he needed to make the person before him stop, too, right?

Only, what needed to stop was not his body, but his urge to joke around.

"Hey, did you know?"

"Huh? Don't come at me with a fun fact after standing there AFK for half the day."

Xuan straightened the tie of the suit that had suddenly appeared on him.

"Potato chips have always been afraid of French fries."

"Are they afraid French fries will surpass their status in the snack world?"

"No, come on, think about it carefully."

Xuan, dressed in a formal suit, waved his hand and chatted with Takaba, who was also dressed in a formal suit.

"Then what is it? Are sliced potatoes afraid of potatoes cut into strips?"

"That's why you have no talent for comedy! Those are all terrible jokes! Listen up!"

Xuan clapped his hands and looked toward the crowd generated by Takaba's technique—things clearly born from cursed energy, yet they truly possessed emotions and life. What a terrifying technique.

"Don't clap your hands while getting people interested! I'm listening now!"

"Because potato chips are potato con men, while French fries are potato cops!"

Xuan spread his hands.

"You have no right to say my jokes are bad!"

"Haha, just kidding."

"Even the lowest-grade audience wouldn't laugh at that kind of joke, would they?"

"I saw something in America before."

"Why are we suddenly in America? Aren't you an ancient Japanese sorcerer?"

"Don't worry about little details like that."

Xuan pressed one finger against Takaba's lips—in the back-and-forth of jokes and retorts, he had discovered that Takaba was developing his technique at an incredible speed. Maybe Xuan's responses had made this guy feel like he had found a kindred spirit.

"The gorillas in America don't make any sound when they walk. That's what I noticed!"

"What kind of slightly dangerous topic is this?"

"Relax, I'm not talking about racism. You know how gorillas walk really quietly, right?"

"They're not quiet at all! How did you come to that conclusion?!"

"Because they like to sneak around quietly~"

"'Quietly' sounds like 'knocking the boobies,' referring to gorillas beating their chests when they show off."

Xuan's Merchant God's Scepter transformed into a loudspeaker in Kogane Bug's hands, and Kogane Bug flew around while explaining the punchline.

Not a sound could be heard.

"I think anyone who explains a joke should be dunked in a vat of hot oil."

Takaba looked at the serious Xuan and nodded.

"I agree."

"Don't kill me, Kogane!!!"

Seeing the vat of hot oil that had suddenly appeared, Kogane Bug flew around in terror—though the moment Xuan saw Kogane Bug, he had already freed his thoughts from the restraints of the Comedian technique.

This guy not only changed his own imagination, he could affect my imagination and then change it as well...

"Senior Takaba, besides puns, what else can you show me?"

"Huh? It's weird for an ancient guy like you to call me senior!"

"Nothing much. I was under twenty-five when I died."

"Huh? Was it a sudden illness? What a tragic early death."

"No, it was because I'd lived enough."

"You bastard who scorns life!"

As Xuan spoke, he waved the Merchant God's Scepter in his hand, which had transformed into a microphone.

"But I was also riddled with diseases... I had depression, bipolar disorder..."

"Oh, oh, I see..."

"And pneumoconiosis, shell shock, Frenzied Dragon Syndrome, Scale Blight, Devourer Parasite Infection, Laughing Virus Infection, Flood Infection, Anti-Life Equation corrosion, Warp corruption, Asperger's syndrome, Determination overdose meltdown, 'Fallen,' insanity, LV erosion, Despair Syndrome, Tiberium, Trinton Syndrome, mithril element infection, blight, Lobos virus, mind control, radiation damage, Wither, genetic integrity..."

"Alright, stop for a second. It feels like things beyond this era are coming out of your mouth."

"Isn't that pitiable?"

"Never mind the Monster Hunter stuff, even undertale is in there! How does an ancient person like you even know any of that?"

Hahahahahahaha~

At last, the audience, silent for so long, burst into laughter.

"See? Didn't I make everyone laugh already?"

"That is true, but it isn't."

Xuan shrugged, then clapped his hands.

"Alright, senior, your turn."

"Ahem..."

"How many jokes do you have?"

"I have ten thousand kinds of jokes!"

"No puns."

"Then I have one thousand kinds."

"No WiFi jokes."

"Then I only have one kind left."

"That dropped way too fast!!!"

"You really don't understand at all! Those kinds of pun jokes are exactly the ones suited for mass production!"

"You completely ignored those 999 WiFi jokes!"

"Ahem—do you know what kind of fish likes helping humans the most?"

Takaba asked Xuan a question.

"Orcas? Or dolphins?"

Takaba shook his head.

"Anyway, it has to be a whale, right? No matter how you think about it, sharks couldn't possibly help humans."

"As expected, an ancient person like you is too shallow!"

"Was that a personal attack?"

"Tropical fish!"

?

What was this guy talking about?

"Why?"

Xuan looked at Takaba in confusion.

"Because they love helping others!!!"

Takaba spread his arms. Along with the sound of laughter, hundreds upon thousands of tropical fish surged out from backstage, flooding the variety show set where the two stood.

"Isn't that still a pun joke!!!"

As if he had finally remembered that they were fighting, Takaba hurled the school of fish and the "Ha" subtitles that appeared along with the laughter at Xuan.

Xuan showed no mercy either. With a raised hand, he sent out a rapid succession of "Dismantles," casually slicing the incoming fish into dozens of pieces.

And as the fish and the "Ha" subtitles vanished, Xuan found himself on a rooftop, while Takaba had disappeared without a trace.