Aren't You Just Picking on an Honest Man?!

"Li Wei?" Susan's voice came through the phone. "You were right. Someone really has been deliberately screwing me over."

"I spent all last night going through the books," she said through gritted teeth. "My accountant's been keeping two sets of books for me for three years. He charged me one rate and the actual tenants another, pocketing the difference. He also faked vacancies, managing to skim $70,000 to $80,000 a year from me."

"That much?" Li Wei said, taken aback. "Still, congratulations on rooting out the company's parasite."

He realized he'd underestimated just how rich Susan was. Her accountant had stolen $70,000 a year without her noticing. That was enough money for him to spend more than two thousand miserable hours working as a sales associate.

"Mm..." Susan said. "He confessed to everything. He owed money from gambling and couldn't cover the shortfall, so he got the idea to pull a fast one. He knew a few tenants paid in cash, and since I was going to collect the rent yesterday, he hired some people to rob me blind."

"Then I take it the problem's been taken care of?" Li Wei asked. "Do you still need an accountant?"

"My lawyer will make him pay every cent back." Susan didn't want to dwell on it. "How did it go with your uncle? Is he free to come in for an interview?"

"Of course," Li Wei replied at once. "I'll call him right now."

After hanging up, Li Wei called Don Quixote and told him to get his butt in gear: trim his nose hair and beard, put his suit back on, and get to an office in Dyker Heights for an interview. Immediately! Right now!

That evening, while Li Wei was cooking, the basement door suddenly swung open. Don Quixote burst in, beaming, like a flaming meteor.

"Li Wei! Where is my nephew?" he cried. "My boy! My great benefactor!"

He spoke in the sort of archaic English one might find in a novel. For a moment, Li Wei thought he'd lost his mind before sundown.

When Don Quixote spotted Li Wei chopping vegetables, he let out an earth-shaking cheer, tore off his suit jacket and tie, tossed them onto the shabby sofa, then rushed over and wrapped Li Wei in a bear hug.

"We're leaving this godforsaken cesspit! We're moving!"

He let go of Li Wei and spun around twice, waving his arms and dancing with the joy of a child in his forties.

"That rich lady you introduced me to, Susan... No, Ms. Susan! She has a discerning eye! She recognized my talent! She saw my expertise!"

He slapped the counter so hard that the cutting board bounced.

"That damn accountant's been taken away by the police. To me, his books were like children's reading!" Don Quixote rubbed his palms together, his voice trembling. "She's not only agreed to let us live rent-free in a huge house over 120 square meters in Bay Ridge, she's also offering me a salary of $3,500 a month after taxes!"

Li Wei had never seen Don Quixote this excited.

It was as if all the happiness he'd had over the years had been compressed and fermented, only to burst out all at once now.

"Kid, I told you I'd look after you," Don Quixote said, grinning smugly. "Even if I have to hand over more than half my pay to that damn bloodsucker—God, just thinking about her makes me miserable—but!"

He emphasized the last word. "This is only the beginning. We're going to make it in the end."

Li Wei thought it over and realized that he could save the $27,000 he'd set aside for rent without spending a penny of it. He, too, felt a rush of happiness.

"Forget cooking," Don Quixote said when he saw Li Wei still chopping vegetables. "Let's go out and have a proper meal. How about Australian steak? My treat."

"You'll only have $1,500 a month left after taxes," Li Wei said gloomily. "Once we've paid for utilities, gas, and groceries, can we really afford Australian steak? Can two people get out of there for $150 with the tip?"

Don Quixote thought about it. Li Wei did have a point.

But despite what he'd said, Li Wei ended up going to the same supermarket as last time to buy some beef short ribs. He made a pot of tomato-braised short ribs as a substitute for Australian steak.

That very night, Don Quixote called the Spanish restaurant where he worked and bluntly told them he wasn't coming back.

Li Wei listened to rugby tactics videos online while Don Quixote cursed out the restaurant manager in the most vulgar Spanish imaginable.

When he realized Spanish wasn't enough to win the argument, he switched to English and Latin, launching a frenzied attack in all three languages. At last, he strutted off to his cubicle like a proud rooster.

As expected, everyone in New York had to know how to swear in several different languages.

Thinking this, Li Wei suddenly had an idea and searched online for Russian lessons.

That night, perhaps because Don Quixote's dream quest to defeat the witch was complete and the duke's reward wouldn't arrive for a while, he didn't sleepwalk.

Li Wei only heard Don Quixote sit up in the next cubicle, sounding a little bewildered. He muttered a few words in a language he'd made up in his dream, then flopped back down and started snoring.

The night passed without incident. Li Wei gazed at the moldy ceiling and thought about how he was finally moving out.

Early the next morning, Don Quixote and Li Wei climbed off their mattresses and packed up to move.

Since it was the weekend, Don Quixote could earn a full week's wages by working just one more day, so he still went in for his final shift.

Li Wei stayed in the basement, packing up their belongings and getting ready to leave.

Apart from the two large suitcases he'd brought, some pots and pans, and Don Quixote's novels and armor, there wasn't much worth taking.

In less than an hour, Li Wei had packed everything. They just needed to wait for Don Quixote to return, load it all into one car, and move into the big house in Bay Ridge.

But Li Wei was puzzled. It was already past two in the afternoon, well past the time they'd agreed to move, and Don Quixote still hadn't come back.

Could something have happened?

Li Wei tried calling Don Quixote, only to find that the call was rejected.

His heart leaped into his throat. He rushed outside, hailed a cab, and hurried to the worksite in Queens.

As soon as Li Wei got out, he heard Don Quixote's booming voice calling out across the worksite.

He sounded full of energy. Nothing like the awful scenes Li Wei had imagined had happened.

Curious and confused, Li Wei walked into the worksite and saw nearly a hundred people gathered beside a concrete mixer.

He squeezed through the crowd and saw the foreman and the security guards standing together on one side, facing Don Quixote and several other workers.

"Why are you saying you can't pay us today? Why make us wait another week?" Don Quixote charged ahead, shouting at the foreman. "Aren't you just picking on an honest man?!"