As everyone knew, Hogwarts had no secrets. It wasn't long after Malfoy and Harry Potter agreed to have a wizard's duel that the whole school knew about it.
What young wizard hadn't gotten carried away in the heat of the moment? A wizard's duel was the most elegant, dignified, and prestigious way to settle a dispute.
But a duel between first-years wasn't enough to pique anyone's interest. The new students couldn't even cast Lumos properly, let alone manage highly advanced offensive spells.
So a duel between children might start with a couple of convincing exchanges, but it was bound to end in a farcical fistfight.
Though everyone had heard about it, hardly anyone wanted to watch. Surely there were better things to do late at night? Word was, that mysterious ghost who prowled around at midnight and loved scaring students out of bed had stopped showing up. At last, everyone could enjoy sneaking around after dark.
Compared to exploring mysterious Hogwarts, watching a few first-years duel was utterly boring.
The students at Hogwarts had no idea that the shameless ghost was Zhang San. When you did something bad, you were supposed to wear a disguise. Show your true face and you'd be mobbed. He was just a newly turned ghost, a poor, weak, helpless first-year. What sort of bad intentions could he possibly have?
The first-years, on the other hand, were extremely interested in the duel between Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter. One was the top new student in Slytherin; the other was Gryffindor's rising star.
Both Houses wanted their own new student to win. Slytherin and Gryffindor had a long tradition of trying to outdo each other. Whether it was Malfoy or Potter, losing to the other House would bring shame on their own.
So at midnight, Harry and Ron, dressed and ready to go, were sent off like heroes by their Gryffindor classmates. The same scene was unfolding in Slytherin, of course.
At first, Malfoy had only meant to trick Harry Potter. He'd planned to tell Filch that Harry was going to the Trophy Room. The old cripple would naturally go and cause trouble for Harry Potter.
He hadn't expected the news to spread so quickly. The whole school knew about the duel. If Malfoy turned coward and failed to show, he wouldn't even need Harry Potter to mock him. The Slytherin upper-years would step in and clean house.
Slytherin could put profit first, adapt to circumstances, and show a measured disregard for the rules... but everything revolved around putting honor above all else. If Malfoy dared not show up for the duel, that scoundrel would ruin Slytherin House's century-old reputation.
So Malfoy had to go, whether he wanted to or not. In the end, he had no choice but to pull on his cloak, take Goyle and Crabbe, and creep out of the common room toward the Trophy Room.
"Which blasted idiot went around shouting about the duel to the whole school?" Malfoy cursed furiously. He was about ready to hate that person forever.
His brilliant plan to set Potter up had fallen apart before it even began, and now he had to face Potter in a duel himself. How could the noble young master Malfoy duel a reckless Gryffindor? It was utterly undignified!
"Of course it was me. I told the ghosts! Once they know something, they're sure to tell the whole school over dinner," Zhang San said smugly.
He was a ghost, and all the ghosts at Hogwarts were more or less his kind. He could communicate with them just fine. Whenever they chatted with Zhang San, reason would instantly take over their souls.
Bloody Baron, in particular, was always hovering beside Zhang San and droning on like a broken record about his tragic Hogwarts love story. How he regretted killing Helena Ravenclaw, how he'd give everything to make it up to her if he had another chance, and so on.
Thoroughly fed up, Zhang San gave Bloody Baron a bunch of offering flowers to deliver to the Grey Lady. Going on about it to Zhang San a thousand times was no use. The man should tell her he was sorry and that he loved her. They'd been dead for nearly a thousand years, and he still couldn't manage that much.
Bloody Baron immediately lost his nerve when he got the flowers. He didn't dare face Helena. The guilt and fear deep in his soul made it impossible for him to control himself.
That was what set Zhang San apart from ordinary ghosts. His mind was clear enough. Apart from having a different form of life, he was a normal person.
The ghosts were different. They were genuinely obsessed. The melodramatic love story between Bloody Baron and Helena Ravenclaw was over a thousand years old, and Zhang San still had to listen to that guy tell it over and over.
It was torture!
Harry and Ron crawled out through the opening behind the Fat Lady's portrait. Before they'd even got their footing, they saw a blurry figure in the corridor.
The sight scared the wits out of them. Oh no, had a professor been lying in wait? That ghostly gossip network really couldn't be trusted. Even the professors knew about this!
Just as they were about to turn around and glare at Zhang San, he came through the wall.
He was a ghost, so the darkness couldn't weaken his vision. Zhang San spotted who was hiding there at a glance. It was her, it was her, it was her—our friend, the know-it-all, Hermione Granger.
Harry and Ron also noticed that the figure was about their height, so they cautiously walked over. Once they saw who it was, they asked in confusion, "Hermione, what are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you, obviously," Hermione said crossly. "I can't believe you're actually going to do this..."
She looked at the two boys and the ghost before her. With those three in Gryffindor, Slytherin would probably win the House Cup again this year.
Hermione sighed helplessly. "You can't go. It's against the rules. The professors must know you and Malfoy are going to duel. They'll be waiting in the Trophy Room for you to walk right into a trap."
Harry pointed at Zhang San. "We've got the best scout. If a professor's waiting in the Trophy Room to ambush us, Zhang San will spot them and warn us to turn back."
Zhang San waved to Hermione. "I'm a ghost, so I can walk through walls. All the ghosts in the school are my eyes and ears. Wherever the professors are, I'll know in advance. Don't worry!"
"You still can't go!" Hermione said urgently. "Malfoy comes from a wizarding family. He must have learned magic before he started school. You haven't even studied magic properly yet. Dueling with Malfoy is far too dangerous."
Harry Potter scratched his head. He'd been so busy getting Malfoy riled up that he hadn't considered he might actually lose to him. That was the Gryffindor recklessness in him: never mind whether you could win—just go and hit him first.
"Don't worry, I'm here. Harry and Ron will be fine," Zhang San said.
"You're just a ghost," Hermione said bluntly.
Zhang San: ...
What was wrong with being a ghost? Was he eating her family's rice? That girl sure knew how to hurt someone!
Maybe Hermione had meant well, but it hadn't sounded that way at all. No wonder she still hadn't made any friends in Gryffindor, nearly a week into the school year.
Hardly anyone could stand Hermione's personality at this point. That one line—"You're just a ghost"—had nearly pushed even good-natured Zhang San over the edge.
What did she mean, "You're just a ghost"? Translate that! What did "You're just a ghost" mean? Damn it, translate what "You're just a ghost" meant!
Zhang San: (╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻
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