At those words, all the color drained from Naruto's face.
His blue eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. His lips trembled twice, and his phone dropped into the muddy puddle at his feet with a clatter.
A small spray of black mud splashed onto his wrinkled white shirt.
"Big bro, wh-what did you say? Something ate the moon? What about Otsutsuki Toneri and the others..."
He stammered so badly he could barely get the words out, grabbing my arm and shaking it wildly.
I slapped his paws away in disgust. Now my sleeve had two more greasy black handprints on it.
"You got donkey hair stuffed in your ears? That bastard said exactly that."
I pointed at the wreckage I had stomped into scrap metal on the ground. Blue sparks still hissed inside it.
"The chakra frequency it transmitted just now really did have that same lifeless stink as the far side of the moon."
I picked my ear and flicked away a dusty lump of earwax.
"These alien brats are taking demolition work into the sky. They sure know how to make a mess."
Naruto paced frantically like an ant on a hot pan, trampling a depression into the mud.
"No, I have to get back to the village and call an emergency meeting! This is too serious!"
He hurriedly retrieved his phone from the muddy water and rubbed the screen against his trouser leg.
The screen was a spiderweb of cracks. No matter how long he pressed it, nothing happened. It was completely busted.
"Fuck, Shikamaru just got me this new phone! Now I'm going to get chewed out again."
I rolled my eyes. Looking at his pathetic state, I wanted to kick him straight back to the Hokage Building.
"A meeting, my ass. Can a meeting