The Old K Family

Leviathan of Pestilence, Mother of Filth, Queen of Eternal Darkness—Kassogtha.

She was also Cthulhu's sister and consort.

Morty focused for less than three seconds before nearly breaking down on the spot after hearing his mother-in-law's string of titles.

Never mind "Mother of Filth," a title that could spawn an entire series of adult videos in the island nation.

Leviathan... of Pestilence?

Queen of Eternal Darkness?

Put into terms normal people could understand—

Disease element plus darkness element?

Fuck, was this his mother-in-law? This was clearly an insanely badass female warrior who would wipe out an entire galaxy right in front of him if he dared lay a hand on her daughter!

And with Rick not by his side right now—

Morty naturally lowered his stance a little.

So...

"I'll marry the twins!"

He shouted the wildest words in the room at the lowest volume possible.

Old K's body trembled.

Hastur's yellow robes fluttered wildly.

Kassogtha's body trembled.

Everyone else present drew a sharp breath underwater, nearly setting off an undersea volcanic eruption.

Hearing Morty's fierce declaration—

Cthulhu froze for several seconds, clapped his hands together, sending three layers of waves surging outward, then laughed and shouted, "Good! Just as expected of Rick Sanchez's grandson! Fearless! Good lad!"

Then he pointed at Morty. "Just for those words! You can take both my daughters home today!"

"I originally promised you the Deep Ones. Now I'll add half the Star Spawn on top of that!"

"I'll give you the full treatment!"

Morty: "Making the wedding procession look like an alien invasion... you really are one of a kind."

Watching Cthulhu, who was clearly far too excited—

Morty had already started reaching for the Portal Gun in his pocket.

He truly had no idea what would happen if Cthulhu discovered he had been playing him...

Conservatively speaking, unless the whole Old K Family went out and slaughtered an Old God to vent their rage, this probably would not end.

At the same time, Morty cursed AI Rick in his heart.

Just say it—you knockoff Rick really are a knockoff. If you were any slower, my children with the twin sisters would be born already.

Could this be one of Rick's schemes too?

No! No! Ulthar really died! No scheme would go so far as to kill an Old God!

Then what do I do next? What if I have to marry these sisters before he gets back? Am I really going to...

He looked into the distance at those shelled octopus-like creatures...

Morty felt that even if he drank a pound of fake liquor and numbed his brain, he still could not pull off Rick's miraculous feat.

Damn it! How did Rick even bring himself to do it?

This is fucking Cthulhu!

This isn't an island nation movie!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Why are they all looking at me? What are they saying? Why can't I hear them?

Standing where he was, Morty saw several enormous monsters gathered in the distance, whispering among themselves in voices lowered countless times over.

They even pointed at him from time to time.

Cthulhu and Kassogtha even seemed to be having a brief argument!

What were they arguing about?

Could it be because Cthulhu did not wash his feet before bed?!

Of course not!

It had to be about him!

A sense of dread rose in Morty's heart. It felt like... he might have screwed up without even realizing it...

But thinking about it with his toes, his lousy acting could only fool high school students.

Monsters like Cthulhu, who had lived longer than young planets—what kind of people had they not seen?

What kind of tricks had they not encountered?

They had definitely gathered together to discuss whether he was trying to scam them into marriage!

The veins on Morty's right hand, gripping the Portal Gun's handle, had begun to bulge.

At this moment, the main problem was no longer whether Rick would laugh at him afterward.

It was how to escape before they made their move!

He absolutely could not die!

And he would not allow himself to die!

He still had to obtain the method for making the Portal Gun, finally escape Rick's side, and face the endless new worlds ahead!

He was not willing to die like this!

At that moment, Cthulhu, having received his family's blessing, walked over!

It's finally happening!

Should I stab him first, then run?

Whatever!

Get ready to draw the gun!

Just as Morty prepared to pull out the Portal Gun and swing the Silent Sword in his hand, Cthulhu suddenly changed form...

The next second...

Every member of the Old K Family transformed from bizarre creatures into human forms Morty could accept.

Cthulhu had a thick circle of beard, stood one meter tall, had bright, piercing eyes, and broad arms.

His expression was just a little displeased.

"Damn bitch insisted I shrink from over three hundred meters to one meter, saying it would make it easier to talk to you!"

"Fuck! Stupid woman!"

Morty: "..."

Seeing that Cthulhu really seemed to be... concerned only about his height...

Morty suddenly wondered if his thoughts had been too dark.

Otherwise, why had he suspected such a simple and honest family as the Old Ks?

Wait...

This...

A pair of sisters with nearly identical faces but entirely different temperaments—one dignified, the other seductive—walked over in small steps.

A white dress, a black dress.

A smile, a sultry smile.

Morty suddenly felt that he seemed to have figured something out.

Cthulhu Mythos monsters only created appearances for themselves to make it easier to communicate with outsiders.

At their core, they were all soul-form creatures.

Could Rick have...

Then he looked at Cthylla, the elder sister.

A beauty rated nine out of ten, with a pair of long legs and an exquisite face filled with sorrow.

That old bastard! He did it on purpose!

I was wondering when Rick's tastes got so heavy!

So that's what this was!

Looking again at the rest of the Old K Family, all of whom had perfectly normal human appearances, Morty felt as if none of this was real.

Just minutes ago, he had needed to crane his neck to talk with the mountain-sized Old K Family.

Now they had all turned human, even adjusting their heights.

Could they have deliberately been messing with him?

"So? Are you willing to call me 'Father-in-law' now?"

As if he knew exactly what Morty was thinking, Old K draped an arm over Morty's shoulder and waggled his eyebrows at him.

Morty glanced again at the Enke sisters.

He realized that he actually seemed to be... a little tempted?

Fuck! This is even more agonizing than rejecting Cthulhu Mythos looks!

Just as Morty, under the gazes of their entire family, was about to call him "Father-in-law"—

AI Rick arrived!

Like a warrior racing through the night toward the execution ground.

Or... the bastard who shouted an objection at someone else's wedding.

"Morty! I'm here! I brought back the Magic Potion!"

"Get lost!!!"