Absurdity

If someone told him,

"Kid! You can't handle a threesome, so I helped you haggle it down from two girls to one."

Then even if it were his own brother, or even his own father, Morty would definitely slap him across the face and show off his factory-standard eight-pack, top-of-the-line big kidneys.

You little punk can look down on anything about me, but you dare look down on my skills?

Do you believe I could use a set of Heaven-Opening Staff Art to sort both of them out properly?

But when it came to the Enke sisters,

Morty only wanted to say,

Grandpa really did love him!

There wasn't the slightest bit of insincerity in this deep grandfather-grandson bond.

It was all Grandpa's overflowing love for him!

But that love was limited...

"Jesus! Morty! Even if you glare so hard your eyes take on that husky look of supreme intelligence, I'm not bargaining for you again!"

Morty: "Grandpa~ Bargain a little more~"

Grandpa: "Get lost!!! Pick one already! This is what you get for casually promising marriage to people outside!"

With things said this far, there was obviously no point in continuing.

Grandpa had already bargained one of them away for him.

From taking both to choosing one out of two.

So... which one should he choose?

Before him, one Enke sister was dignified, while the other was seductive.

This...

For a moment, Morty found himself in a headache-inducing dilemma.

Because the monster forms of these two were gigantic shelled octopuses!

Morty did not know what kind of ultimate macho man would dare get horny for a giant shelled octopus!

Just thinking about himself, still in puberty,

Standing at around five feet three, facing a giant octopus at least six hundred feet tall.

[Sigh... Why can't I keep my mouth shut...]

[Couldn't I have used some other excuse back then...]

[Why did I have to fool Old K with something like a marriage agreement?]

[And now... Wait! I have the Silent Sword. Should I make a bold move? I refuse to believe Grandpa would protect me this much and still really let Old K kill me!]

The moment that thought surfaced in his heart,

Morty could no longer control his hands.

He stood up. Just as he was about to imitate some classmate surnamed Xiao and shout a passionate line about real estate prices rising for thirty years, Grandpa pressed him back down.

After half a year together, how could Grandpa not know what Morty was thinking?

But the problem was, while your Grandpa usually killed without bothering to clean up afterward,

He had never defaulted on a deal!

If you defaulted now, where would that leave my old face?

Of course, whenever I wanted to default on a deal myself, nobody usually left alive to tell others that I had...

"Don't think I don't know what you're thinking!"

"I'm telling you!"

"Those little thoughts in your head are impossible!"

Seeing Grandpa, whom he had lived with for half a year, unexpectedly put on such a serious expression, looking as though they needed to make honesty their foundation,

Morty felt that there was something deeply off about the scene.

He had seen Grandpa pull plenty of black-eats-black schemes...

And now, all of a sudden, you cared about honesty? Who were you trying to fool?

But Morty did not say it aloud. He felt that Grandpa must have had a reason for doing this; otherwise, with his personality,

Would he have let Rick come onto his turf?

So, back to the main issue.

Which of the Enke sisters should he choose?

Morty looked at the proper older Enke sister, then at the alluring younger Enke sister. Gritting his teeth, he decided to take them both.

Because he believed that if Grandpa truly gave it his all, he could definitely refuse Old K's request.

But he had not.

So he had to make a reverse move.

And disrupt Grandpa's plans!

"Thank you for your kindness, Grandpa. Since we have to keep our word, I've decided to honor my earlier promise. I'll take both of them."

Grandpa: "..."

Old K: "..."

Kassogtha: "..."

The atmosphere instantly fell silent, until Old K muttered softly, "Rick, why don't you try a little harder and have a son? Your grandson is really too pathetic..."

Morty, with his sharp hearing, felt his heart skip a beat. He seemed to have misjudged the situation, though not entirely... No, he had completely misjudged it!!!

Because Grandpa's expression had changed from speechlessness to satisfaction.

"Since you want both, then take both!"

"The day after tomorrow, they'll go to school with you. Help them fit into our world, and protect them while they kill people too."

Morty: "I regret this now..."

Grandpa: "Too late."

Thinking of all the weirdos at his high school, Morty felt that with these sisters' faces and figures, the school might announce its permanent closure tomorrow.

And he would become the school's only final graduate.

"Alright, since that's settled, we'll be leaving first."

"Mm, I just remembered I have something to do too. Morty, get them settled in first!"

As the three of them quickly left,

Only Morty and the Enke sisters remained in the entire dining room.

This arranged-marriage experience left Morty completely at a loss for how to begin speaking to them.

After all, either of the two women before him had lived several times longer than humanity's ancestors.

And now, these living-fossil-level Lovecraftian monsters

Had been directly shoved into his hands as wives under such absurd circumstances.

Morty only wanted to open Qidian Chinese Web and ask the idiot commenters how to solve the problem of <I Accidentally Married Two Great Old Ones—How Should I Live With Them?>

Fortunately, in this warm little family,

There were not many people.

But as long as two of them got together, they could produce enough drama for a twenty-season family ethics TV show.

Summer, who had been watching television in the living room,

Walked into the dining room at that moment and saw two supermodel-like young women in dresses sitting across from Morty.

The fingers tapping on her phone screen stopped.

Her expression turned disgusted.

"Morty, weren't you grounded?"

"Who are they?"

"They're... people you brought back from outside, right? You actually brought home people you met while adventuring outside. That crosses Mom's biggest bottom line."

"Tch! I finally have a chance to become an only child. I really hope I hear next year that you got hit by a car on the street, or died over some rotten hamburger... Ah! What are you doing!!!"

Before Morty could express his anger,

Nctosa, who had already read that emotion from Morty's face, stood up on the spot and grabbed Summer by the throat.

She made as if to snap it right then and there.

At the critical moment, Morty stopped her, sparing Summer's life.

Summer, who had narrowly escaped death, sat on the floor with terror all over her face. She kicked her feet forward, repeatedly pushed herself backward with her hands, then sat back down from fear.

"What is this!!!"

"She wants to kill me!!!!"

"Morty!!!!"

Summer's shrill screams made Morty feel as though his eardrums were nearing their limit.