The Unluckiest Transmigrator

All happy transmigrations are alike; each unhappy transmigration is unhappy in its own way.

—Yansong Tolstoy Bai

Gu Bei felt that something was wrong.

He woke from a hazy, muddled state with a splitting headache. It felt as though needles had pierced his brain, and he could barely think. He had no idea what had happened or where he was. The foggy sensation made him feel awful.

Still, even without thinking, he could tell this wasn't the little bed he was used to sleeping in.

What was going on?

The surroundings felt oppressive. The space was even smaller than the room he rented, and the dim yellow light teased at his eyelids. Some distance behind him, he could faintly hear water dripping, which made his chest feel tight...

And there were hushed voices.

"He really seems to be dead. Annie, you hit him too hard!"

A woman's voice, tinged with accusation.

"I didn't mean to! How was I supposed to know he was so weak? Besides, besides, I hardly did anything."

The woman called Annie sounded flustered.

"Enough. We should figure out how to explain this to Michelle."

"Michelle... No! What are we going to do? Michelle will kill us for sure!"

"Don't drag me into this. It's all your fault. You killed him, and I had nothing to do with it..."

The conversation went on, grating on his ears and stirring up trouble in Gu Bei's head alongside his headache. But after a little while, he gradually grew used to the pain and regained the ability to observe and make basic judgments.

He forced his eyes open.

He was in a cramped room, like the basement in some mystery movie. It was pitch-black except for the torches on the walls, the only source of light. Slimy moss clung to the corners and ceiling, and the heavy dampness made him uncomfortable.

Gu Bei tried to move.

He immediately realized that he was tied to a chair, his hands bound behind his back with coarse hemp rope that dug painfully into his wrists.

He also realized that his body was unusually weak.

Weak in a way that felt unfamiliar.

"What do we do... Michelle... Oh God, she—she's here!"

The slow, steady clack of high heels cut off their conversation—and Gu Bei's feeble attempts to struggle.

In the dim torchlight, a blurred figure gradually appeared.

It was a woman wrapped in a roomy robe, her face completely hidden beneath the hood. The deep teal garment covered her from head to toe, leaving not so much as a hint of her appearance. Even if she'd been a store mannequin, no one would have known.

Gu Bei knew she was a woman only because of the high heels he'd just heard, and because of the name "Michelle."

Though he was still in a daze, his instincts told him that he should play dead.

So, before anyone noticed him, he relaxed his entire body, slumped in the chair, and didn't move.

He kept his eyes shut and his ears open, listening to how things unfolded.

"Michelle, you're here..."

Annie sounded terrified.

"Wake him up." A muffled, raspy woman's voice came from inside the robe.

"Michelle, I..."

Annie began hesitantly, as if trying to choose her words, but she was cut off at once.

"It was all Annie's fault!" another woman suddenly cried out. Her shrill voice made Gu Bei's head throb. "Michelle, Annie did it! She killed him, and I had nothing to do with it!"

An awkward silence followed.

"Michelle, I..." Annie tried to defend herself.

"He's not dead," Michelle interrupted her again.

Gu Bei's breath caught.

"What?"

"He's not dead." Michelle sounded a little impatient. "Wake him up."

"Ah, yes, yes..."

Sitting there with his eyes closed, Gu Bei suddenly felt a chill run through him and shuddered. His clothes turned soaking wet in an instant, clinging unpleasantly to his skin. He felt like throwing up.

The woman called Annie had doused him with cold water.

Realizing he couldn't keep pretending, he opened his eyes.

"He's not dead!"

One of the women cried out in surprise, and Gu Bei finally got a clear look at everything.

There were three people in the room. The two women and Michelle wore identical deep teal hooded robes that covered them from head to toe. Their faces were hidden, giving them the feel of characters from a horror movie.

The three robed figures surrounded Gu Bei like some kind of evil ritual.

A chill crept up his spine.

"You two can go rest," Michelle said.

The two women nodded and left, perhaps to spend a while arguing over who had snitched.

Gu Bei felt Michelle's gaze return to him, like a venomous snake staring at its prey. It made him deeply uncomfortable. But there was nothing he could do about his current predicament, so he lowered his eyes and pretended he hadn't seen anything.

Michelle didn't speak either. The two of them stared each other down for a while.

The brief stretch of time seemed unusually long.

Finally, Michelle spoke.

"How do you open the Treasure Vault?"

Gu Bei raised his head. "I don't know."

"Lord Riser." Michelle sounded not at all surprised. "There's no point resisting. You can return to the Royal Capital and live as the noble genius you are, or you can rot in a rat's belly. The choice is yours. I hope you'll make the right one."

"I'm not Lord Riser. You've got the wrong person."

"Lord Riser, my patience is limited." Michelle spoke slowly, but her words carried a powerful threat. "Or were you dissatisfied with Annie's service earlier? Should I bring her back?"

"..."

Gu Bei was on the verge of tears. Lady, I really don't know anything!

After being awake for this long, he had more or less figured things out.

Earlier that night, he'd been lying across his desk, preparing a speech his boss needed for the next day.

He'd been working overtime for half a month and was exhausted, body and soul. He was so sleepy that he couldn't hold on and had fallen asleep in front of his computer. In his dream, he'd seen his boss, in his forties, wearing a pair of underwear on his head. Pointing at Gu Bei, he'd shouted, "Balala Power, transform!"

His mind had gone blank.

Then his memories had started in this basement.

It was possible that these women were insane and had mistaken him for someone called Lord Riser before kidnapping him. It was also possible that the dream had been so terrifying that it had traumatized him and caused hallucinations.

But...

The moment he spoke, Gu Bei realized that he wasn't speaking Chinese, but some language that sounded like English.

He hadn't spoken English in years.

Gu Bei wasn't stupid. He was an ordinary person living an ordinary life, with an extraordinary dream—and he'd read plenty of web novels. So the instant he realized something was wrong, he quickly connected it to what had happened to him and reached a conclusion.

He'd transmigrated.

For some unknown reason, he'd transmigrated into the body of someone called Lord Riser, replacing the original owner. As luck would have it, Lord Riser had been kidnapped by a few deranged women and subjected to some decidedly non-erotic torture.

Now it was his turn to be tortured.

Gu Bei sighed, mourning the half month's wages he'd lost—the accounting clerk hadn't come to work because she'd accidentally gotten an anal fissure while skiing.

He had to be the unluckiest transmigrator ever.

"For the Riser Family, that Treasure Vault is no more than a grain of rice in a vast granary. You have countless treasures. Why throw away your precious life for something like this?"

Perhaps Michelle took Gu Bei's sigh as a sign that he was wavering. She began to coax him.

Gu Bei raised his head and looked into the darkness beneath her hood. He said each word slowly and clearly:

"I. Don't. Know!"

He was sure his eyes looked as sincere as a fawn's.

But Michelle didn't believe him.

"I'm sorry, Lord Riser. You've made the wrong choice." Michelle's voice was ice-cold as ever, but this time Gu Bei heard a hint of murderous intent. "I think you may be starting to miss Ms. Annie."

Gu Bei shuddered.

He didn't know what those madwomen had done to the original owner of this body, and he didn't want to know. Why? Because they'd beaten him to death!

The facts were right in front of him. He didn't dare doubt that these madwomen knew how to torture someone.

Just as Michelle turned to leave, Gu Bei called out to her:

"I... I can't tell you yet."

He had no choice. Even with a terrible hand, he had to play it out.

Transmigrated or not, he didn't want to die.

"Why?"

Michelle didn't turn around. She simply stopped, standing with her back to him, and asked coldly.

"If you don't keep your word, you won't let me go whether I tell you or not." Gu Bei racked his brain for the plots of movies and novels he'd seen, forcing himself to sound calm. "I can tell you how to open the Treasure Vault, but you have to guarantee my safety."

A soft laugh came from under the hood.

The atmosphere eased a little, and Gu Bei relaxed slightly.

"You're clever." Michelle turned around. "I never planned to let you go. To avoid being hunted down by the Riser Family, I'll kill you as soon as I get what I want. I'll chop you into mincemeat and throw you into the sewer for the rats, leaving not a trace."

Gu Bei wished he could swallow his words.

"...Then I won't tell you."

"If you don't, we'll torture you until you can't stand it and tell us." Michelle sounded downright sadistic. "You can choose to die without pain. That's far better than the alternative."

"..."

What rotten luck.

Right now, Gu Bei wanted to dig up the soul of Lord Riser, grab him by the throat, and yell at him to come back to life so Gu Bei could hurry up and leave this strange world.

Damn it, he was just some random extra!

"Foolish."

Seeing that he had no intention of speaking, Michelle shook her head and prepared to find someone else.

In desperation, an idea suddenly flashed through Gu Bei's mind.

"Wait!"

Michelle acted as if she hadn't heard him. Her pace didn't slow at all.

Gu Bei could only muster all his strength and shout:

"Only the Riser Family's own bloodline can open its Treasure Vault. Kill me, and you'll never get inside!"

Michelle finally stopped, then came back, her heels clicking in a measured rhythm.

The breath trapped in Gu Bei's lungs finally escaped.

The family-bloodline requirement was the most clichéd plot device in novels, yet it had become the only lifeline he had right now.

After a brief silence, Michelle suddenly said:

"You aren't of the Riser bloodline."

What?!

Gu Bei's heart lurched. His hands, bound behind his back, clenched tight.

"To the Riser Family, you're just an in-law." Michelle's tone seemed tinged with contempt. "Your aunt married into the Riser Family, and you followed her in, picking up the Riser name. You don't have a drop of Riser blood in you. This so-called bloodline method of opening the Treasure Vault wouldn't even work for you."

"..."

Was this "Lord Riser" really just some insignificant nobody in a great family?

His headache seemed to get worse.

Gu Bei was desperate. He now knew firsthand what it meant to dig your own grave and jump right in.

He'd had other options, but he'd blocked them all himself.

What now?

His transmigration had barely begun half an hour ago. Don't tell him it was already over.

Michelle sneered and continued, "Did you really think I hadn't investigated you before I kidnapped you..."

"Your test means nothing!" Gu Bei suddenly interrupted her, his tone changing completely. "I'm a member of the Riser Family, and I have the purest Riser bloodline. What are you trying to find out by making up some story to test me?"

"You..."

Gu Bei pressed her relentlessly. "If you're afraid I'm stalling, that means you're just bluffing. You must be terrified after kidnapping a noble. The people the family sent will be here soon. If you drag this out, you'll only get yourself killed."

Michelle fell silent. She seemed so still that Gu Bei wondered if there really was a mannequin inside her robe.

Gu Bei let out a few cold laughs.

He'd guessed right!

If he were only an in-law, how would he know about a secret like the family Treasure Vault? And if he were truly some irrelevant outsider, Michelle wouldn't have bothered kidnapping him in the first place, would she?

Thinking it through, Gu Bei immediately realized that she'd been fishing for information.

Michelle must have noticed something off about this "Lord Riser," so she'd invented a story about him being an in-law to test him. If he'd fallen for it, he would have been doomed. She'd realize he wasn't the real Lord Riser, and he'd be of no use to her.

Fortunately, Gu Bei had kept his cool, and the in-law identity Michelle had made up on the spot was full of holes.

The body he'd transmigrated into really did have Riser Family blood!

He'd turned the tables and intimidated the mysterious woman who'd been trying to bluff him.

"Ms. Michelle, if you really want to open the Treasure Vault, you'd better hurry." Gu Bei pressed his advantage, mercilessly taunting her. "The Riser Family isn't someone you can take on lightly."

Silence. A long silence.

"...You win."

Gu Bei raised an eyebrow, amused.

Michelle's words seemed to scrape out from between her teeth. "I'll take you to the Treasure Vault. You'll open the door for me, and we'll keep our distance while you do. Once the door is open, we won't have time to worry about you. You'll have plenty of time to escape on your own."

Hearing this, Gu Bei finally managed a smile.

"Deal!"

Phew...

The heavy weight on his chest finally lifted, and Gu Bei saw a glimmer of hope once more.

Though relieved, he couldn't help thinking that he really was the unluckiest transmigrator.

Others relied on their golden fingers to save their lives. He had only himself to rely on.

But it wasn't time to let his guard down yet.

Now that he'd made up a lie, he had to keep it going. This crazy woman still had to take him to open the Treasure Vault, and he needed to find a chance to escape. Otherwise, once his lie was exposed, he'd still be as good as dead.

The game had only just begun.

Gu Bei turned his attention back to Michelle.

Apparently displeased with Gu Bei, Michelle walked a few steps away, her high heels striking the floor with particular force. Facing the dim corridor, she called out to her "underlings":

"Sally, Annie, time to go!"

She was probably planning to take Gu Bei and her subordinates away from here and head for the Treasure Vault.

However...

No one answered from the empty corridor.

Oh?

It seemed something had happened. Gu Bei hid his glee.

"Sally? Annie?"

Michelle raised her voice. For once, her usually calm tone wavered slightly.

At last, a voice came from the corridor:

"Michelle, something's happened!"

Despite the words, Michelle seemed a little more at ease.

A figure in a hooded robe hurried out of the shadows.

"Someone from the Riser Family is about to find us! Michelle, this is bad!"

At that, Gu Bei instantly felt glad, but soon grew uneasy again.

How was he supposed to deal with relatives he'd never even met?

Besides, if the Riser Family caught up with them, Gu Bei doubted Michelle would let him live.

What a headache.

Michelle, however, remained unhurried and continued, "Annie, where did Sally go?"

"I-I don't know..."

"Annie, tell me. Where did Sally go?"

Annie's voice faltered. She must have been terribly nervous:

"Sally's gone... I-I'm not sure. She said she was going to look around, and then she disappeared. I think... I think she must have spotted people from the Riser Family and slipped away on her own! Or... maybe the Riser Family has already captured her!"

Michelle fell silent.

Annie stood opposite her, and even the hooded robe couldn't hide how flustered she was:

"Michelle, we have to go. If we delay any longer, they'll definitely catch us!"

But Michelle remained silent.

Her silence was making Annie uncomfortable. She was like a comedian desperately trying to tell jokes, while her straight man didn't give her a single cue. One minute, two minutes... The air grew so cold it could freeze, and Annie was barely able to keep a straight face.

Gu Bei was the one who broke the awkward silence.

He drew out his words, feigning surprise in a way that made him seem downright obnoxious:

"Annie, did you kill Sally?"