Salty Fish Method

At nine in the morning, on the thirty-first floor of headquarters—the temple.

The lights cast two long shadows. One of them leaned forward, bent, then rose again. He was bowing. Ji Qiufeng, receiving the salute, remained expressionless and tapped forward with his closed paper fan.

"Come," he said.

That invitation was like the gong that announced the opening of a match. The atmosphere inside the temple changed abruptly. A third slender shadow darted out from beneath the lights, murderous intent surging forth as its opening move sent a silver whip straight at Ji Qiufeng's temple!

Ji Qiufeng tipped back his head, evading the ambush by less than an inch. Approval flickered in his eyes, for the man opposite him had held his nerve and remained still. The man lowered his body and bent his knees, drawing back his advancing left foot and shifting his weight rearward as he used the clever technique known as "drawing back the spear." It was a common technique in polearm combat: swiftly retracting one's weapon to handle close-range fighting. Used here, it turned the missed strike into a diagonal lash. So long as it grazed him, the force of the return swing could throw the enemy's balance into disarray.

This time, Ji Qiufeng did not dodge. His wrist shifted slightly, and his paper fan pressed down, striking the middle-rear section of the silver whip. That tap severed the force running through the whip. Like striking a snake at seven inches, it made the wielder feel utterly miserable. An opening appeared on his right side, and Ji Qiufeng stepped forward; the gap had delivered itself right to his hand. The whip wielder stepped as well, using a light bracing step to forcefully reel in the whip before switching to a spinning kick aimed high at Ji Qiufeng.

The change had been decisive and excellent. The first kick could be feigned or real; if it missed, he could use the momentum of the spin to lash out with the whip again in a two-hit combo. But before the sharp-eyed Ji Qiufeng, it was not enough. He sidestepped the first kick, and the second only brushed past his hair. He lowered himself beneath the whip strike, and the paper fan in his hand suddenly shot out like a sharp sword, straight for the whip wielder's throat. At the same moment, the whip wielder's right hand flashed out, chopping like a curved blade toward Ji Qiufeng's face!

His right hand froze in midair, because the paper fan had reached skin first. Ji Qiufeng withdrew his fan, opened it, and gave it a flick. Smiling with narrowed eyes, he said, "You almost made it~"

"By several decades, at least." Chu Hengkong withdrew his fist. "Thank you for the guidance."

The whip wielder was, of course, Chu Hengkong, and the silver whip was one of his tentacles. After the holiday ended, his first assignment had been to learn moves and train in martial arts. Every morning, he sparred with Ji Qiufeng for a fixed fifteen minutes. Touching Ji Qiufeng even once counted as success. That round just now had been the most productive one all week. It had looked as though he only needed to go one centimeter farther to win... but a victory like that was meaningless. Ji Qiufeng had fought him the entire time with one hand behind his back, using only a folding fan. That could not even be called going easy on him—it was practically opening the floodgates.

"I mean it. Huaisu and I once made a bet over what move you kept hidden up your sleeve. Huaisu guessed fists, and I guessed a spear. Never thought it would be a blade." Ji Qiufeng smiled faintly. "Unfortunately, Hengkong, you forgot that you weren't holding a blade."

Chu Hengkong scratched his head, somewhat embarrassed. Ji Qiufeng was right. His final move had indeed been a blade technique, but when two people were exchanging moves perfectly well, for one side to suddenly unleash a killing move—no matter what school or sect it was from, that was hardly honorable.

He told the truth. "The pressure was too intense. I couldn't control myself."

"That is a good thing. The fewer distracting thoughts you have, the easier it will be to pass the gate of life and death." Ji Qiufeng gestured for him to sit. "Tell me about your current situation! You can already fully control your new arm, and you are no longer constrained by any particular style of combat. You have built an excellent foundation. What do you think you should train next?"

"Moves," Chu Hengkong answered immediately. "I lack moves."

He contracted his tentacles and gestured as he spoke. "Since I began martial training, I have learned many skills. But in the current battles, killing moves that can settle everything with one blow... I only have a couple."

"A 'spear' that breaks through at a single point." He compressed his tentacles, and one of them shot forth to touch the temple wall. "A Thunder Whip for wide-area attacks." The spinning tentacle struck the floor, its impact spreading outward in a circle. Chu Hengkong ended the demonstration and sat down again.

"Paired with weapons and hidden weapons, they are enough to handle most situations. But there are still fatal gaps." Chu Hengkong raised two fingers. "First, my defenses are too poor. There are too many weapons in this city stronger than bullets, and mind control and deadly poison are also difficult to deal with. If I do not take precautions, sooner or later I will die under concentrated fire."

Ji Qiufeng smiled faintly. "The only thing lacking is your body?"

Chu Hengkong pressed a hand to his brow and admitted with a bitter smile, "...I am too prone to underestimating things."

"Yes, that is the real problem with your 'defenses.'" Ji Qiufeng tapped his shoulder with the fan. "At such a young age, you already possess the mindset of the strong. You do not fear death, pain, or the enemy's underhanded tricks. That has helped you advance by leaps and bounds on the martial path, but it has also cultivated some bad habits. Tell me, if you had truly regarded Adali as a formidable enemy, would that battle have been so perilous?"

Chu Hengkong could only smile bitterly. "...No."

"Then looking at it now, how should you have fought?" Ji Qiufeng asked, guiding him patiently.

"At the very least, I should have prepared enough medicine, brought proper weapons, and used the whip to safely eliminate the Torchlight Corpse Heap. Once I forced out his true body, I would have struck with all my strength and tried to kill him quickly with one blade." Chu Hengkong said.

Ji Qiufeng shook his head. "Hengkong, you still do not understand! Why did you not use the Blessing Water Cannon to spray it?"

"...Huh?"

Chu Hengkong stared dumbfounded as Ji Qiufeng explained vividly, "Since this Glowing Corpse feared Xiao An's medicine, you should have prescribed the right remedy and used a specialized weapon! If you worried that your medicine supply would not be enough and decided to carry out the assassination alone, then you could have covered yourself from head to toe in blessings and carried two spare canisters with you. Then, dealing with the Glowing Corpse would be like walking into an empty place. What methods would Adali have left to restrain you?"

How could Chu Hengkong fail to see that he was deliberately needling him? He hurriedly raised his tentacles in surrender. "I really learned my lesson... If there is a next time, I will definitely use it!"

"That is more like it. We martial artists may be strong, but we must not be arrogant." Ji Qiufeng waved his fan. "And then? What else do you feel you lack?"

"No special means of attack," Chu Hengkong said without hesitation. "I can fight spirits with talismans, and I could fight the Glowing Corpse by dispersing the mud possessing it. But if my next enemy has no such weakness, then I will truly have no way to deal with it."

"Generally speaking, we would not consider such demanding circumstances during the particle stage."

"The enemy will not say that they will spare me just because I am Skillful Hands." Chu Hengkong smiled. "At this stage, what methods would Dragon Spring Township teach?"

Having read the appraisal texts of several related Relics, he had long known that Ji Qiufeng came from a place called Dragon Spring Township. Dragon Spring Township's signature art was Dragon Village Boxing, and it had factions resembling "sects," such as Chenjun Palace and Orthodox Profound Palace. It ought to have quite the air of an immortal martial world... and immortals presumably did not lack methods for dealing with demons and monsters, did they?

"That is an excellent question!" Ji Qiufeng said solemnly. "Generally, at this point, we teach blacksmithing, construction, calligraphy and painting, pharmacology, and musical theory!"

"Ah... huh?" Chu Hengkong was dumbfounded.

Ji Qiufeng eagerly leaned closer. "How can you only know how to fight? Dragon Spring Township has always advocated a well-rounded education and encourages growth in many areas. To be honest, I am also quite accomplished in painting. Since Hengkong is eager to learn, how about we add three hours of drawing lessons every day from now on..."

"No! Forget it!"

"Once you learn it, you can draw talismans," Ji Qiufeng began tempting him.

Chu Hengkong waved his tentacles hard. Painful memories he could hardly bear to recall had been awakened. Back when he had first become an assassin, the old men of his family had forcibly dragged him into countless art appreciation classes—mysticism, heraldry, and world history. The professors at the podium had been passionately animated, while he had sat below like he was on a bed of needles, wishing he could turn into a skyrocketing firecracker and flee into the heavens.

"I do not have the talent. There is really no hope." Chu Hengkong was resolute. "I will just learn martial arts!"

"With you so lopsided in your studies, how can you become a martial cultivator?" Ji Qiufeng sighed theatrically. "Then you can only learn some ordinary little tricks. Horse stance, retract your tentacles, raise your right arm in defense, palm facing inward."

Chu Hengkong perked up. This was a stance not covered in the Three Thousand Sets. He followed the instructions, and Ji Qiufeng helped him make minor adjustments before giving the next command. "Tense every muscle in your body."

Chu Hengkong gathered his breath and exerted force. Muscles throughout his body contracted, and his flesh became harder than steel in preparation for taking a blow. But Ji Qiufeng suddenly jabbed his fan at Chu Hengkong's chest, sending his entire body toppling backward! Then he rose again like a roly-poly toy!

"It is obviously a defensive stance. Why did you fall?"

"Too rigid." Chu Hengkong began to think. "I did not leave any 'room.'"

Ji Qiufeng's answer was unexpected. "Wrong. You were not rigid enough!"

He picked up the folding fan again and began pointing things out. The fan struck Chu Hengkong's bicep first. "Tense it. Rotate the muscles in your right arm fifteen degrees clockwise."

"...Huh?"

Chu Hengkong tried to comply. The sensation of rotating his muscles was like the kind of cramp that woke someone in the dead of night in agony—except it ran sideways. Ji Qiufeng then pointed at his chest. "Rotate the pectoralis major three degrees outward."

"How does a pectoral muscle rotate??"

Ji Qiufeng's face went stern. "Why so much nonsense? Rotate! Next are your abs, then your thighs!"

"Fuck..."

In five minutes, Ji Qiufeng had poked him from top to bottom. Every muscle in Chu Hengkong's body was tense and twisted in bizarre directions. He felt as though his whole body were cramping, the kind of cramp suffered by a routed army. If this continued, he felt his muscles would probably bid each other well and part ways before going on strike, bursting from his body and scattering to the four winds.

But Ji Qiufeng's torment was not over. Satisfied, he put away his fan and said, "Very good. Stand there. Stay standing until you cannot hold on any longer."

Chu Hengkong glared with all his might, but his tongue had tied itself into knots and he could not say a word. Ji Qiufeng let out three heartless laughs and strode away.

Three hours later.

A small golden head poked cautiously through the doorway. Ji Huaishu tiptoed stealthily into the temple.

"Hi~ Sorry to interrupt your fervent cultivation. I came to remind you that it is about time for you to switch shifts with me... Chu Hengkong, are you still alive enough to work?"

"..."

She felt the answer to that question should be "no," because Chief Inspector Chu was sprawled on the floor like a dead fish. It looked as if he had recently tried to wring himself dry, because the sweat beneath him had pooled into a tiny pond. Ji Huaishu crouched beside the dead fish, took out a police baton, and poked him. "Still breathing? Still breathing?"

The instant the baton touched him, Chu Hengkong sprang upright from his prone position with an extremely bizarre application of force! Then he spun around himself like a cat leaping down from a height! He spun so fast that he made nearly a hundred rotations in the blink of an eye. Seen from directly ahead, he had practically become a vortex, sweat droplets splashing in every direction like rain!

Ji Huaishu immediately raised a shield of light and shrieked, "What kind of Dog-Washing Technique is this?"

Then the spinning came to a stop. Chu Hengkong rolled over and lay on the floor, utterly devoid of the will to live, as though he had gone from a salty fish to a sun-dried salty fish. Ji Huaishu dropped the light shield and bared her teeth. "Congratulations on mastering your divine art... Chief Inspector Salty Fish..."

"I did not learn it," Chu Hengkong said indistinctly. "Too hard."

"I never thought you would say the word 'hard,' either." Ji Huaishu hauled him up. "All right, stop training for today. I will cover your afternoon shift afterward. Do you still have the strength to go to the workshop?"

"What... for..."

"To admire the new 'capsule toy machine.'" She made a capsule-twisting gesture. "And to pick up your new equipment."