Don't Be Nervous, I Am Jesus—Borrowing a Gun (Please Recommend, Please Bookmark)

Temir Auction House?

Seeing the enormous building before him, Xiao Meng's eyes lit up. "Ya Fei..."

"I actually wandered here by accident. Could it be fate?" Xiao Meng's heart pounded wildly. Ya Fei was one of the great beauties in Battle Through the Heavens. Though she was not as beautiful as Xiao Xun'er, she was seductive and enchanting.

"Damn it, if it's fate, I can't miss this!"

After pausing for a moment, Xiao Meng headed straight into the massive auction house.

"Welcome, young master."

A female attendant approached with a smile. "Young master, are you here to auction something, bid on something, or make a purchase?"

"I'm auctioning medicinal herbs." Xiao Meng's eyes shifted slightly, but his expression remained calm.

"Then please follow me to the appraisal room so an appraiser can examine them," the attendant said with a smile.

Xiao Meng nodded and followed the woman toward the appraisal room.

"Sir, a young master wishes to have some medicinal herbs appraised." The attendant pushed open the door. In the spacious, dimly lit appraisal room, a middle-aged man in green robes sat bored at a table. The moment he heard that someone had brought something for appraisal, he perked up.

"Young master, please take out the medicinal herb." Seeing that Xiao Meng was merely a half-grown youth, the middle-aged man paused before putting on a professional smile.

Xiao Meng did not waste words. With a thought, a jade box appeared out of thin air in his palm.

"A storage ring?" The middle-aged man and the attendant's pupils abruptly contracted. Storage rings were precious treasures. There were only a handful of people in Wutan City who possessed one, yet this little fellow had one. It was simply unbelievable.

Xiao Meng opened the jade box. Inside lay a fruit the size of a longan, crimson all over, crystal-clear, and radiating a dazzling red glow. Its fragrance was refreshing and intoxicating.

"Th-this is a Fire Spirit Fruit?" The middle-aged man shot to his feet and shouted in shock, his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets.

Xiao Meng was instantly dumbfounded. "?????"

"Fire Spirit Fruit my ass. This is clearly Blood Bodhi, okay?" Xiao Meng was speechless. He had fished this thing out of The Storm Riders world. It had absolutely nothing to do with some damned Fire Spirit Fruit.

Besides, this was not how the plot was supposed to go. Logically, after he brought out something so shocking, this guy should have been stunned, with towering waves crashing through his heart. Then he should have been unable to appraise it and gone to invite some important figure. Finally, because the treasure was too extraordinary, even that important figure would be unable to decide, and Ya Fei would be alerted.

That way, he could chat with Ya Fei and build some friendship or something.

As for whether he would sell it, that would depend on how pleasantly their conversation went.

But judging by this bastard's tone and expression, he was about to insist that the Blood Bodhi was a Fire Spirit Fruit.

Damn it, that was not how this was supposed to work. Xiao Yan had only brought out a bottle of Foundation Establishment Liquid that he would not even bother picking up if it were thrown by the roadside, yet it had alerted Gu Ni, the number-two figure. But Xiao Meng had brought out Blood Bodhi, a fruit that could be called divine, and he had somehow... stepped into a pit.

"Uncle, take another careful look. Are you sure this is really a Fire Spirit Fruit?" Xiao Meng suppressed the urge to pull out a wok spatula and smash the man's head, taking a deep breath.

Unexpectedly, the middle-aged man spoke with absolute certainty and utmost seriousness. "This is a Fire Spirit Fruit. I cannot be mistaken."

"I definitely cannot be mistaken. I have seen a spiritual fruit like this before," the middle-aged man added.

"Definitely your eighteen generations of ancestors, you bastard. Are you driving or something? Have you hit a hundred million miles an hour already? Otherwise, how can I not keep up with your train of thought?"

Xiao Meng secretly took a deep breath to keep himself calm, then said with a dark expression, "Uncle, this is Blood Bodhi, not some Fire Spirit Fruit."

"What is Blood Bodhi? I have never heard of it. Little brother, based on my many years of experience appraising treasures, there is no way I could have mistaken this," the middle-aged man said with utter conviction.

"Does little brother wish to consign this Fire Spirit Fruit to Temir Auction House for auction, or sell it directly to Temir Auction House?" The middle-aged man's eyes burned with excitement, his hands rubbing together eagerly.

"Auction my ass. Was I supposed to sell a Blood Bodhi as some damned Fire Spirit Fruit just so I could chase a girl? Did he take me for an idiot?" Xiao Meng felt utterly vexed.

If throwing away a Blood Bodhi could win Ya Fei over, he would be more than willing to do it. The key was that he feared ending up with nothing.

Ya Fei had taken notice of Xiao Yan because Xiao Yan was a noble alchemist. As for love, that had been cultivated slowly over time. But what about him? Forget alchemy—he could not even cultivate Dou Qi.

Was he supposed to tell Ya Fei that he was not trash, only that his cultivation was different from everyone else's?

Forget it. The women of this world really were beautiful, but they were also shallow. They could not see his inner beauty or his sunny, handsome appearance at all.

So even if he displayed strength beyond ordinary people now, it would be difficult to win Ya Fei's heart. Dou Qi was the main theme of this world, and everyone only believed in Dou Qi.

Without Dou Qi, one was complete and utter trash.

Xiao Meng was extremely conflicted. Should he take a gamble?

"Let me think about it!"

In the end, Xiao Meng put away the Blood Bodhi and turned to leave. He had already figured it out. Blood Bodhi meant strength. With strength came the world, and with the world, why worry about women?

When the time came, he could have as many as he wanted. One basket, two baskets, ten thousand baskets—it would all be just a number to him.

That was why he would not become the kind of idiot who wanted beauty but not power.

With power, there would definitely be beauties. Without power... heh heh!

"Little brother, wait..." The middle-aged appraiser chased after him, but Xiao Meng had already vanished without a trace.

"To hell with fate. I knew it—Heaven is the least reliable thing in this world." Xiao Meng felt that Heaven had screwed him over, leaving him in an extremely foul mood.

After that little incident, Xiao Meng no longer had any interest in strolling around, so he went straight home. But when he returned to his side hall, it was already dark. Before he even reached it, however, he saw a tall figure standing outside his door.

"Huh? What is Dad doing here? According to the plot, shouldn't he be going to the back mountain to look at the moon with the fourth son?" Xiao Meng was somewhat surprised.

"Dad, were you looking for me?" Xiao Meng hurried over and asked with a grin.

"Third, hold out your hand." Xiao Zhan flashed over to Xiao Meng's side and spoke.

"Right. It must be about what happened during the day." Xiao Meng immediately understood and raised his hand.

Without saying a word, Xiao Zhan placed his fingers on Xiao Meng's wrist and closed his eyes in concentration.

Gradually, Xiao Zhan's brows furrowed. There truly was no Dou Qi in Xiao Meng's body. With his cultivation as a five-star Da Dou Shi, it was impossible for him to fail to detect it if there were any. Even if Xiao Meng had deliberately concealed his strength, he could not have escaped Xiao Zhan's examination.

Yet soon afterward, shock gradually appeared on his face. Xiao Meng's blood and vitality surged like a roaring river. His fleshly body gleamed like precious jade, overflowing with boundless life force.

"Could there really be some kind of innate divine body?" Xiao Zhan opened his eyes and murmured.

Xiao Meng picked up the conversation. "Dad, do you still not believe that I have an innate divine body? I'm very strong. Below the Dou Zhe realm, I'm invincible. With one punch, even an expert at the ninth stage of Dou Qi would be beaten to death."

"Meng'er..." Xiao Zhan said bitterly.

Xiao Meng's face twitched, and goosebumps rose all over his body. He immediately cut Xiao Zhan off. "Dad, don't call me that. It's a little scary. Just call me Third."

Xiao Zhan froze for a moment, then snapped irritably, "I'm your father. What is wrong with calling you that?"

"There's nothing wrong with it, but when you call out so sadly, why do I feel like you're about to give your last words? I'm scared..." Xiao Meng said weakly.

"You little brat!"

Xiao Zhan was nearly angered into fainting. He roared, "Whether you truly have an innate divine body or not, if you cannot cultivate Dou Qi, you are destined to be unable to grow stronger. But whether you can cultivate or not, you are still my, Xiao Zhan's, son. So as long as I live, I will protect you. If something is troubling you, you can tell me. Stop disappearing all day and hiding where no one can find you."

"Dad, stop saying such emotional things. I can't take it. How about something practical instead? Just give me a few tens of thousands of gold coins to spend," Xiao Meng said, rolling his eyes.

"Get lost!"

Xiao Zhan's balls hurt, and his lungs hurt even more.

After talking for more than ten minutes, Xiao Zhan left, heading toward the Xiao Clan's back mountain.

Watching Xiao Zhan's departing figure, Xiao Meng felt incomparably warm inside. Back on Earth, although his parents were alive, he had never enjoyed a single day of fatherly or motherly love.

He had been abandoned at birth and raised alone by his grandfather. When he was sixteen, his grandfather passed away, leaving him completely alone.

"Xiao Clan, I will do everything in my power to protect you. Not for anything else, but for my father, Xiao Zhan."

Xiao Meng silently made a vow, then pushed open the door and entered. He could not go deep into the back mountain tonight. Though Xiao Yan often went there in the past, he only stayed on a mountaintop near the edge. With Xiao Yan's cultivation, even if a massive earthquake occurred deep in the back mountain, he would not notice it. But Xiao Zhan was different. He was a five-star Da Dou Shi, over ten thousand times stronger than Xiao Yan.

After closing the door, Xiao Meng went straight to the basement. He had obtained ten fishing chances today, and he planned to use them all.

With a thought, the fiery red fishing rod appeared in his hand. He casually found a place to sit and began fishing.

"Damn! What kind of crappy place is this? Why is it so pitch-black? It looks like an ancient demonic abyss, or an endless dark starry sky. There's nothing but darkness everywhere." Xiao Meng's expression stiffened as he looked toward where the fishing hook extended.

Darkness, coldness, desolation—those were his impressions of that dark space.

"Huh, there's light..."

"It's actually a reddish-white flame. Why does it feel like the source of life... Why would there be a flame in this pitch-black dump? Could this be some kind of divine flame?"

"No way, I can even hook fire? This thing isn't solid... Is this hook omnipotent?"

"Haha, since I hooked it, it's mine. Come here, good baby, come to big brother!"

"Holy shit, why is it only palm-sized? It wasn't like this before!" Looking at the flame in his hand, Xiao Meng rubbed his eyes, thinking that he had seen wrong.

He slapped himself and felt the pain, confirming that he was completely awake.

Xiao Meng's face darkened. When he first saw the flame, he had thought Heaven had finally opened its eyes and was helping him become an alchemist quickly so he could chase Ya Fei. But what could such a weak flame do? It was not even enough to fill the gaps between his teeth.

"Still, this flame should be extraordinary. I'll study it slowly after I finish fishing." Xiao Meng put away the flame and continued fishing.

Red Essence Ganoderma!

Soul-Nourishing Wood!

"Oh? Earth really does have an affinity with me." On his tenth attempt, Xiao Meng's hook entered a blue planet.

"Huh! That flag...? This is my little sister's place!"

"Wow! The security here is so tight. There are soldiers carrying machine guns everywhere, along with all kinds of large-scale weaponry."

"Damn it, could this be my little sister's nuclear weapons research base? Perfect! I've been wanting to get a few nuclear weapons to blow things up!"

The fishing hook continued deeper!

Damn! It really was his little sister's base. The place was made entirely of reinforced concrete and was extremely sturdy. Even a dozen missiles might not destroy it. Alarm and detection systems were installed everywhere. At the slightest disturbance, everyone would be put on alert.

Finally, the fishing hook stopped inside a brightly lit secret room.

"A gun? Damn it, I want missiles, hydrogen bombs, large-scale destructive weapons!"

Xiao Meng wanted to cry. After finally making it to his little sister's base, all he got was a gun. No matter how he thought about it, he felt unbalanced.

He had clearly seen a mountain of gold, yet he could only take away a speck of dust.

Was he the idiot, or was the system the idiot?

"Waa! Waa! Waa..."

The moment the fishing hook caught a machine gun displayed behind tempered glass, the alarm instantly sounded.

In an instant, the American base erupted into chaos.

"So what if the alarm goes off? I'll keep fishing anyway." Xiao Meng did not care as he reeled in the line.

All the soldiers went on alert, guarding every entrance and exit. Red beams swept everywhere, while more than a dozen types of aircraft took off in an instant and circled through the sky.

"Dog, dog, dog..." Of everything they said, Xiao Meng could only understand that one word.

"Trying to use dogs to track me? If you have the ability, come chase me into the Battle Through the Heavens world."

"Oh my God!" Soon, soldiers began screaming in terror.

They saw a gun emerge from the ground, then pass through the ceiling in the blink of an eye.

"Oh my God!"

The soldiers were scared senseless. They clutched their heads with both hands, their faces filled with disbelief and horror.

"Oh my God!"

The machine gun flew out of the base and rose into the sky. Everyone was stunned and cried out in alarm.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The planes circling overhead suddenly collided without anyone controlling them. Sparks burst forth, thunderous explosions rang out, and chaos immediately erupted below.

"Don't be nervous. I am Jesus, borrowing a gun!"

Xiao Meng blurted it out without thinking, but in the next second, he froze.

"Oh my God, it's a god..." Hearing the incomparably majestic and authoritative voice descending from the sky, everyone knelt down, shouted, and grew wildly excited.

"Jesus speaks Chinese?"

"They can actually hear what I'm saying? That shouldn't be possible. I said things before, but no one could hear me."

Xiao Meng was completely confused, his mind in utter chaos.

AK-47?

How had he fished out an AK-47 from this place, and it was even a machine gun? Wasn't that a little unreasonable?

Xiao Meng froze again.