Halloween Troll

"George! How did you survive Potions? How has Snape put up with you for so long?"

"Fred! What kind of experimental approach is that? Where did your talent for Potions go? Did you flush it down the bathroom together this morning?"

"You two, get those stiff brains stuffed with cogon grass moving. Even trolls have more tricks than you."

"Hehehe, yes, that's the idea. Research it in that direction."

"Here, you two, eat it and test the effects."

The twins: "No, Oren!"

"Come on, be good! Eat it and give it a try. Don't worry, the effect only lasts half an hour."

The twins: "No!"

"Be good!"

The twins: "Mmph, aaahhhhhh~"

Five minutes later~

Oren handed the twins two glasses of red wine. "The experiment was a great success. This prank product is very interesting."

"Come, let's toast to pranks. May we grow bigger and stronger and achieve even greater glory."

The twins said weakly, "Grow bigger and stronger and achieve even greater glory."

Oren pocketed a bottle of red-and-white capsules. "There's still an hour until the feast. Well then, farewell, two beautiful Miss Weasleys. Oh no~ when we meet again, you'll be Mister Weasley."

The twins slumped listlessly in their chairs, staring at the ceiling as they continuously counted down under their breath. With an hour to spare, Oren decided to go to the Restricted Section and relax with a book.

An hour later, in the Great Hall~

"Tsk, tsk. Bats, dark clouds, and pumpkin lanterns. There's not the slightest scary atmosphere."

Oren swaggered over and sat beside Harry. Seeing him gnawing on an unpeeled potato, Oren immediately lost his appetite.

"Where's Hermione? Where did she run off to?"

Harry hesitated. "Actually... well... I accidentally heard Parvati Patil say that Hermione has been crying in the girls' bathroom all day."

Oren???

Good grief, crying all day? How many tears would that take? Could she really make a buckwheat pillow sprout with tears? The internet never lied to him.

"Why? Don't tell me her tear storage limit was full and she was clearing out her inventory?" Oren asked in confusion.

Ron seemed as though he had suddenly grown lice, constantly squirming in his chair.

Harry said awkwardly, "Well... actually, Ron..."

Before he could finish, Professor Quirrell, his oversized turban wrapped around his head, crashed headfirst into the Great Hall. He rushed up to Dumbledore and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Troll! There's a troll in the dungeons!"

With that, he collapsed unconscious. The Great Hall instantly became as noisy as a marketplace. Dumbledore had to set off several bursts of fireworks with his wand before the young wizards quieted down.

"Prefects! Lead the students back to their dormitories immediately."

"Don't be afraid, everyone. Line up and follow me," Prefect Percy Weasley said, beginning to direct the students.

On the stairs, Harry asked, "Where did the troll come from?"

Ron spread his hands helplessly. "Who knows? Maybe Peeves let it in."

Oren said, "You two, aren't you forgetting something?"

Harry and Ron looked at each other. "Hermione! She doesn't know about the troll."

"Come on, you two. I could figure out with my fingernails that Hermione crying all day has something to do with you."

Oren grabbed the two little ones by the backs of their necks and pulled them out of the group. The three hid behind a statue.

Ron lowered his voice. "Shh, it's Snape."

"What is he doing?" Harry asked, puzzled. "Why isn't he with the other professors? Why is he heading to the fourth floor?"

Oren curled his lip. "Of all places, we run into him here. What bad luck. Forget him, let's find Hermione first."

Ron asked, "But the castle is so big. Where should we look for her?"

Oren rolled his eyes. "You idiot, if you can't solve the problem, can't you solve whoever caused it? We'll find the troll directly and beat it to death. Problem solved, right?"

"Then the problem of a troll invading the castle will be solved, and Hermione will have a safe place to keep clearing out her tear inventory. That's called a win-win. If we earn Gryffindor a few points too, that's a triple win. We'll be winning so hard."

After hearing Oren's plan, Ron turned red in the face and was itching to fight the troll to the death immediately.

Harry asked timidly, "Th-then... how are we supposed to find the troll?"

Oren...

"That thing smells like a public toilet in the hottest days of summer. It stinks for three miles even against the wind. As long as your two nostrils still work, you shouldn't be asking such a stupid question."

"Get those sensitive noses moving. The sooner we find that thing, the sooner we deal with it and get back to eating."

The three began searching through the castle.

Ron tugged Oren's sleeve. "Why aren't you helping?"

Oren rolled his eyes. "Impossible. How could I, Young Master Black, do a bloodhound's job?"

The two little ones...

"Do you smell it, Ron?"

"Sniff, sniff. It's that way, Harry. Hurry."

Not far away came the sound of a wooden club dragging across the floor. A creature over three meters tall, with short, thick limbs like concrete pillars and a potato-sized head perched atop its neck, slowly entered a room.

"In a moment, just use every spell you know to attack it. Leave the rest to me."

The two little ones went pale from fright. "Okay." ×2

"Ah~" A little witch's piercing scream came from inside the room.

Harry cried out, "Oh no, that's the girls' bathroom!"

Ron: "It's Hermione!"

Oren: "Tsk, now this is troublesome. Hurry, get inside."

They rushed into the bathroom. The troll was using its club to create endless construction debris while slowly approaching Hermione, who was curled up beneath the sinks.

Oren took out a bundle of climbing rope and handed it to Harry. "We'll tie the rope to the toilets on both sides."

Ron asked, "What should I do?"

"Once we've tied the rope, go draw the troll's attention."

"No problem." Ron picked up half a broken faucet from the floor.

"Ready, Ron! Get its attention!"

"Come here, you big idiot!" Ron threw the faucet, hitting the troll squarely on the crown of its head.

"Roar~" The enraged troll swung its club and charged at the three of them.

"Thud!" The tripped troll smashed face-first into the floor. Its club flew from its grip and created even more construction debris in the bathroom.

Oren walked over to the sinks. "All right, Miss Beaver, could you please crawl out of your hole?"

Hermione...

It took Oren a great deal of effort to fish Hermione out from beneath the sinks. He pulled the terrified little witch over to the troll and asked, "Is it dead?"

"Maybe..." Ron said uncertainly.

"Or maybe it just fainted." Harry poked the troll's head with his wand.

As if the poke had woken it, the troll struggled to get up.

"Ah~" The three little ones let out piercing screams.

Oren!!!

Fine, fine, it woke up just to disrespect him, did it? He pulled a one-and-a-half-meter yanling saber from his pocket. The blade flashed, then sank nearly twenty centimeters into the floor.

"How's that? Was my amputation below the troll's head precise enough?"

"Precise! Incredibly precise!" ×3

The three little ones nodded like pecking chickens, their eyes now holding a few traces of awe.

A violent pounding came from the door. Professor McGonagall, Professor Quirrell, and Snape burst in.

"Heavens, children, what are you doing here? Why are you here?" Professor McGonagall's voice had gone shrill.

The moment Professor Quirrell entered, he sat down on a toilet and began sobbing violently like an aggrieved little wife.

"It was like this, Professor McGonagall. Hermione went to the bathroom and missed Dumbledore's announcement about the troll invasion, so we came to find her."

The three little ones looked at Oren gratefully, then immediately lost their composure. Oren was casually using the hem of Snape's robe to wipe the blood-covered blade.

The low pressure radiating from Snape's blackened face made the three little ones start trembling.

Professor McGonagall put her hands on her hips and looked down at Oren. "Then you were very fortunate it didn't kill you."

Oren pointed at himself in disbelief, waving the saber with his other hand. "Professor, you mean that thing???"

"Hmph. Because of Mister Black's recklessness, Gryffindor loses five points."

"Don't, Professor McGonagall!"

Professor McGonagall walked over to the three little ones. "Consider yourselves lucky. Very few first-year students can handle a troll. You each earn Gryffindor five points."

"All right, hurry back to the tower."

"Wait, Professor McGonagall, I still have something to say. Hey, hey, Snape, stop grabbing at me."

Oren shook Snape off and pulled out a sack, stuffing the troll's head inside.

"Professor McGonagall, don't look at me like that. I cut off this troll's head, so it counts as a trophy, doesn't it?"

"Besides, this troll was an invader of the castle, wasn't it? I need to use this troll compatriot's strange head to trade Dumbledore for military merit."

Speechless, Professor McGonagall carried Oren outside and shoved him toward the three little ones. "Take him back to Gryffindor Tower at once."

The three little ones...

"Here, carry this." Oren stuffed the dripping sack into the little witch's hands.

"What is this?" Watching red liquid continuously drip down, she had a bad feeling about what was inside the sack.

"Of course it's the troll's head."

"Then why are you giving it to me? Can't you carry it yourself?" Hermione's face was somewhat pale.

"Of course it's because monster hunters—cough, cough, wizards—always have their mounts carry the monster heads they cut off. At the very least, they need a lackey to carry their bags."

"Let's get back quickly. I bet the Halloween feast has been moved to the common room. If we're any later, we'll only be licking empty plates."

With that, Oren grabbed Harry and Ron and ran off. Hermione stamped her foot in anger, then followed with the sack.

The moment they entered the tower, Percy rushed over and shouted, "Where have you lot been? If you were any later, I would've thought the troll had eaten you!"

Oren snatched back the sack and tossed it onto the floor. A troll's head rolled out with a rumble.

After a moment of silence, deafening cheers erupted throughout Gryffindor Tower. Within ten minutes, news of the troll head had spread through all of Gryffindor.

Oren had barely sat down when Fred and George shoved their big faces in front of him and asked, "How did you do it?"

Oren pulled out the yanling saber and stabbed it into the floor, then spread his little hands and began eating.

Ron darted straight into the crowd and began boasting about the glorious deeds of the group.