The Golden-Armored Deity's Divine Eye Tests Spirit Roots; True Lord Su Yuan's Oversight Turns Him into a Workhorse

[Brain-storage space. Everything in this book is entirely fictional; no coincidences are possible! Also, this book has nothing to do with government offices. Everything is an allegory for the corporate workplace!]

"Lord Su, let me propose three toasts."

"The first toast is to fate."

"We all ascended here from minor worlds. It's our good fortune to have met Lord Su. The fact that we're working together on this Southern Heavenly Gate expansion project is fate."

"It's all in the wine. I'll drink it down!"

Watching the man across from him respectfully hold up his empty cup,

Su Yuan smiled too and drained the immortal wine in his own cup.

Everyone cheered and applauded, and the atmosphere grew ever more lively.

The palace maids dancing in the middle of the room also returned to their seats.

For a time, host and guests alike were thoroughly delighted.

Su Yuan wore a spring breeze of satisfaction on his face,

nibbling on the dragon liver a palace maid beside him had placed in his dish,

while his mind was still occupied with the arrangements for tomorrow's project acceptance inspection.

Using his mind for several things at once was second nature at his level.

[After ascending to the Heavenly Court, I spent three thousand years toiling away at the Infrastructure Office. I, Su Yuan, clawed my way up from a construction worker on projects at the early Human Immortal stage to my current position as deputy project manager, in charge of operations, and finally became a grassroots cadre in the Heavenly Court Group, with benefits at the Celestial Immortal level. Just think how much hardship I've endured along the way, how much suffering I've borne.]

[Whether I can get rid of that "deputy" and become a proper Celestial Immortal-level leader depends on how tomorrow's acceptance inspection goes.]

[I've already prepared the envelope. It's thirty percent thicker than before. The king should be pleased.]

[I've also had the head of the General Affairs Office prepare the banner. I'll check it again after the meal.]

[I've asked someone to buy a pair of three-thousand-year-old Peaches of Immortality. That should be enough.]

[Tomorrow, I'll have the project's materials supplier—the Growth Heavenly King's brother-in-law—go pick them up first. I'll lead everyone in waiting at the site.]

[What should I say to open the meeting?]

[Su Yuan of the Infrastructure Office pays his respects to the beloved Growth Heavenly King?]

"Esteemed" would probably be more appropriate. Su Yuan of the Infrastructure Office pays his respects to the esteemed Growth Heavenly King!

[Would that be too ostentatious? Maybe we should just shake hands, nice and simple?]

As he hesitated, someone pushed open the private room's door.

Su Yuan's brows instinctively furrowed, then slowly relaxed.

The newcomer was another member of the project leadership team, chief engineer Wang He.

Heard to have some distant family connection to Wang Lingguan, the chief on duty at the Hall of Soaring Heavens, he was quite arrogant about his talents.

He and Su Yuan didn't get along particularly well, and sometimes he couldn't even be bothered to keep up appearances.

Chief Engineer Wang strode up to Su Yuan, grabbed him, and started pulling him toward the door.

"Lord Su, how can you still be in here eating and drinking? Come see for yourself! We're in trouble!"

[That bastard never thinks of me when there's good news, but when disaster strikes, he comes looking for me to share the blame?]

Su Yuan scoffed inwardly, but kept a friendly smile on his face.

"Don't rush. Tell me slowly. Even if Mount Tai collapses before you, you must not change your expression..."

"The Southern Heavenly Gate's load-bearing pillar collapsed!"

Su Yuan's expression changed drastically.

"Fuck! Hurry, call for an auspicious cloud to pick us up! No, there's no time! Take my flying sword!"

Su Yuan could only curse his inability to teleport. He pushed his flying sword as hard as he could and sped toward the Southern Heavenly Gate.

Battling the fierce wind, Su Yuan turned and yelled at Chief Engineer Wang.

"Even if someone replaced the Nine Heavens Profound Iron with ordinary iron, it still shouldn't have collapsed! Didn't you calculate the load capacity?"

"Lord Su, a monkey with a hairy face and a thunder god's mouth showed up. He got into a fight with the king at the Southern Heavenly Gate, and the two of them knocked our pillar down."

Creeeak—

Su Yuan abruptly brought his flying sword to a stop.

Chief Engineer Wang was frantic and urged him again and again.

"Fly, Lord Su! If we get there now and help the king, we can get our faces in front of him. Won't tomorrow's inspection go as smoothly as water flowing into a channel?"

Wang He didn't know, but how could Su Yuan not?

Going there now wouldn't be helping the king. It would be walking straight to his death.

This was the Heavenly Court of the Journey to the West World!

Three thousand five hundred years ago, Su Yuan had transmigrated from Blue Star to the cultivation world.

With his thick skin and black heart, and by swindling, cheating, and deceiving, he had carved out a path through a world where the strong preyed on the weak and nobody could be trusted.

"I am the Heavenly Emperor! I shall suppress all enemies!"

"Anyone who dares oppose me, Su Yuan, has already earned a death sentence!"

"Fellow Daoist, this treasure is fated to be mine!"

"Everyone, come have a little chat inside my Human Emperor Banner!"

After cultivating for five hundred years, he had swept through the minor world and finally ascended to the Heavenly Court amid the send-off of a host of "friends and relatives."

He had become a legend of his age.

On the day he ascended, countless sect masters and elders shed tears of joy, shouting to the sky.

"Su Yuan's gone! The world can finally know peace!"

"Su Yuan's gone! At last, we can see the light of day!"

"That villain stuck my disciple in the ground and insisted he was a ginseng root."

"Be grateful. My master locked him in a dungeon for three hundred years, and he still regularly came by to demand livestock subsidies from us."

"Evil always meets its match!"

After ascending to the Heavenly Court, Su Yuan had thought he could become a carefree immortal. Who could have known reality would give him a hard slap?

Amid a myriad rays of rosy light, Su Yuan appeared in the Immortal Realm.

He saw a vertical sign with black characters on a white background: "Ascension Registration Office."

There were golden-armored deities on guard at the gate, and a portrait of the Heavenly Emperor hanging in the courtyard. Beneath it was a wall displaying the Heavenly Emperor's quotations.

Su Yuan rubbed his eyes.

Was this right?

Shouldn't immortals travel from the Northern Sea in the morning to Mount Cangwu by nightfall?

What was going on?

Why did this look just like the subdistrict office back in my hometown?

Had I ascended right back to Earth?

But feeling the abundant immortal qi and the terrifying pressure emanating from the golden-armored deities,

Su Yuan didn't dare be careless. He knocked on the courtyard gate.

"Hello. Do people who've just ascended register here?"

Fortunately, the golden-armored deity had a decent attitude and managed to squeeze out a smile.

"Please collect your Registration Immortal Record and Service Guide over here."

"The list of required documents for each service is right here. You won't have to make repeated trips. We're a one-stop service counter, getting things done efficiently."

"Fill out the form, then come over for a spirit-root test."

[Something's off. Twelve out of ten things are wrong.]

Alarm bells blared in Su Yuan's head.

[Since time immemorial, the cultivation world has followed the law of the jungle. How could these two golden-armored deities be so amiable?]

[Could these two bastards be trying to trick me...]

Before Su Yuan could react, the leading golden-armored deity finished scanning him, slowly closed the vertical eye in his brow, and began filling out the form.

[Name: Su Yuan]

[Gender: Male]

[Political affiliation: Masses]

[Constitution: Gui, inferior]

The other deity clicked his tongue in admiration.

"With a constitution this lousy, you still managed to cultivate to ascension. How many spirit stones did you pile up, you rascal?"

"Relax. Don't overthink it. This is the Heavenly Court, beneath the Heavenly Emperor's feet. We follow the law here. You think this is some lousy lower realm?"

"As for where you'll be assigned, that depends on your spirit roots."

"If you have a water spirit root, you'll serve in the Milky Way Navy. A metal spirit root means the Forging Armory, while a fire spirit root will get you sent to tend the furnace."

"A thunder spirit root, now that's a big break! You'll be sent to the Thunder Bureau to administer heavenly tribulations."

Su Yuan fidgeted nervously, not daring to speak, and continued watching the characters appear on the registration form.

[Spirit roots: Earth, Wood]

Wait a minute.

What kind of spirit roots?

Su Yuan had a vague premonition of disaster.

[Please let me be sent to the Peach Garden to plant trees! Please send me to the Peach Garden! Just don't let it be what I think it is!!]

Su Yuan looked up at the two golden-armored deities. Both gave him sympathetic, rueful smiles,

[Oh no!]

Unfortunately, it was already too late. The page of the immortal record turned into a streak of golden light and shot straight toward Su Yuan.

Su Yuan let out a silent cry of despair.

The golden light enveloped him from head to toe. In an instant, a crown fitted with its own protective formation appeared on his head, and a blood-jade storage bucket dangled from his hand. In a daze, he headed straight for the Infrastructure Office.

Thus it went:

The golden-armored deity's divine eye tests the spirit roots

True Lord Su Yuan's oversight turns him into a workhorse