Those Who Won't Use Their Brains Will Be Mounts for Life

Su Yuan stood before the Immortal-Slaying Flying Knife, muttering to it with a grave expression.

"Stop bowing already!"

A deep voice sounded behind him, carrying a trace of impatience.

"It's just a gourd, not a communication jade talisman. It can't hear your muttering."

Su Yuan whirled around.

The Ink Qilin, with its straight nose and broad mouth, had somehow appeared silently behind him.

With a sweep of its wide sleeve, the Ink Qilin blurred the surroundings. In the next instant, the two of them were back in the secret chamber.

Su Yuan hurriedly pulled out a flask of strong liquor from the lower realm and eagerly filled a cup for it.

The Ink Qilin's throat visibly bobbed, but it forcibly looked away.

"I'm not falling for that, kid. We're strictly business partners. Don't think you can bribe me with wine. If you've got something to say, say it. Be quick about it!"

Seeing this, Su Yuan did not press the matter and downed that cup himself in one gulp.

Then he replaced it with another cup and filled it with fine wine.

The liquor surged down his throat like a line of fire, and Su Yuan's expression grew increasingly troubled.

He let out a heavy sigh, fully committing to the act as his voice dropped low.

"Venerable, to be honest, I came today to return your money."

The Ink Qilin raised an eyelid and snorted questioningly through its nostrils.

"Hm?"

Su Yuan wore the expression of a man who had given up all hope.

"Fuck it, I admit defeat. This business can't be done."

"It's because I, Su Yuan, am incapable and have delayed your great undertaking, Venerable. How about this? Not only will I return the deposit in full, I'll give you another ten million spirit stones as an apology."

As he spoke, he moved to take out his storage pouch.

The Ink Qilin's curiosity was immediately piqued, and it raised a hand to stop Su Yuan.

"Wait! Don't rush to return the money. Tell me what happened. Didn't you swear two days ago that nothing could possibly go wrong? Weren't you supposed to be quite capable?"

With a bitter smile, Su Yuan told it how he had found a way to legally descend to the lower realm, how he had prepared to apply for the Pacification Recruitment Team, and how someone had used connections to squeeze him out.

When the Ink Qilin heard that Su Yuan truly had a way to legally descend to the lower realm—

—and recalled the grand smuggling blueprint Su Yuan had described to it—its eyes widened as it hurriedly asked.

"Who squeezed you out? Tell me, now! I'll stand up for you!"

Su Yuan deliberately remained vague, speaking without any specifics.

"I only heard that his surname is Dou. Apparently, his family also ascended during the War of the Gods. As for the details, I don't know."

After hearing this, the Ink Qilin pondered for a moment, then suddenly burst into laughter.

"I thought it was some towering figure! So it was that useless brat from Dou Rong's family blocking your path?"

"Hmph! Back in Chaoge, his father had to bow properly and call me Little Grand Tutor when he saw me! Just wait here. I'll send his father a message right now and make his son obediently give up that position to you!"

Hearing this, Su Yuan knew the matter was more than halfway settled.

But he was in no hurry. At times like this, whoever grew anxious would lose the initiative. Retreating in order to advance was the proper way.

So he hurriedly pretended to stop the Ink Qilin.

"Oh, Venerable! Absolutely not! You mustn't!"

Stopped by him, the Ink Qilin looked displeased.

"Hm? Why are you stopping me? Do you think I lack the influence?"

Su Yuan repeatedly cupped his hands, his expression panicked.

"Venerable! You are a Da Luo-level divine lord, so naturally you have nothing to fear. But this lowly official... I still have to earn my living in the Heavenly Court! It would feel good if you forcefully stood up for me today, but what about tomorrow? They wouldn't dare resent you, but crushing me would be easier than crushing an ant! Do I still want to survive in the future? Venerable, please have mercy. I'd better return your money. I don't dare wade into this muddy water anymore..."

As he spoke, he again moved to take out his storage pouch.

With a source of wealth already within reach, how could the Ink Qilin possibly let it slip away so easily?

It hurriedly held Su Yuan back, paced around the secret chamber several times, then gritted its teeth and snapped.

"Damn it, what if I take advantage of the night and..."

Su Yuan was anxious inside. He had hinted this clearly already.

Yet this Ink Qilin still did not get it, its mind full of nothing but fighting and killing.

Big brother, times have changed. This isn't the War of the Gods anymore, when you slash me with a blade and I stab you with a sword.

No wonder you've been a mount your whole life. You don't know how to use your brain.

Su Yuan had no choice but to keep steering it with his words.

"Venerable, Dou Yin has already entered the public notice period. As long as no one reports him within three days, he'll become a proper deputy Xuan-rank official. You mustn't make a move carelessly."

Seeing the Ink Qilin sink into thought, Su Yuan could not help rolling his eyes.

Big brother, I've spelled it out this clearly. How do you still not understand?

"Got it!"

After a long while, the Ink Qilin's eyes lit up.

"How about I just arrest him?"

Only then did Su Yuan let out a long breath.

It had taken an enormous amount of effort to guide the Ink Qilin into saying those words.

He pretended to frown in thought and continued leading it on, determined to make the entire process watertight.

"This... arrest him? On what grounds? And what happens after he's locked up?"

The Ink Qilin became even more convinced that its idea was brilliant and said smugly.

"Grounds? Hmph, when my Thunder Bureau arrests someone, what grounds do we need? Just pin something on him! Besides, that brat's ass isn't clean either! More than fifty years ago, he secretly harassed a palace maiden from the Moon Palace. I remember that! Lock him up for half a day or a day. That should be enough, right?"

"But... how can you ensure that you'll be promoted into the vacancy? Competition for your position should be fierce, shouldn't it? Don't end up making a wedding dress for someone else for nothing."

At this, a perfectly measured trace of confidence appeared on Su Yuan's face.

"Please rest assured, Venerable! I have some connections in the Pacification Recruitment Team as well. As long as he is arrested, I naturally have a way to secure the replacement position!"

The Ink Qilin carefully examined Su Yuan, a touch of surprise in its voice.

"Tsk, tsk. No wonder you dare do such a large business. You've got something, kid. You even have connections in the Pacification Recruitment Team."

"Then it's settled!"

The Ink Qilin made up its mind.

"On the evening of the third day, I'll send someone to seize him on schedule! But..."

It paused before continuing its instructions.

"That brat can still be considered a distant relative of mine. I can detain him for half a day at most. He must be released by the following morning. As for how to make sure he can't go through with it afterward, you'll have to figure out how to clean up the loose ends yourself."

The weight in Su Yuan's heart finally lifted. He bowed deeply. "Thank you, Venerable, for granting this!"

"Wait, I have one more request."

"Please speak, Venerable. So long as this lowly official can do it, I will certainly serve you like a dog or horse—"

The moment the words left his mouth, Su Yuan realized something was wrong.

Sure enough, the Ink Qilin's face instantly darkened.

Su Yuan reacted swiftly, smiling as he lightly slapped his own mouth.

"Listen to this mouth of mine! It deserves a beating! To speak of serving like a dog or horse before the Venerable—what a thing to say!"

The Ink Qilin snorted. Its expression eased slightly, and it did not take offense as it continued.

"This old man... I've been in the Heavenly Court for several thousand years now, and it has been terribly lonely..."

Su Yuan immediately put on an expression of understanding and lowered his voice.

"Venerable, I happen to know many fine places. Would you like part-time palace maidens? Or female immortals who have ascended? Even if you've taken a fancy to some Heavenly Steed from the Imperial Horse Bureau, just say the word, and this lowly official will find a way."