Can't You Let Me Grind Commissions in Peace?

Hurry up and serve it already, I can't wait any longer. (2/4)

Without hesitating for even a moment because of March 7th's jinx,

The first thing to appear in the prize pool was...

"Emotion Value System."

Mr. Emiya silently watched the prize emerge amid the deep crimson glow. Then he rubbed his eyes and confirmed once again that there was nothing wrong with his B-grade Clairvoyance.

"I drew a new system from the system lottery?"

After receiving the new system's functions, Mr. Emiya gave the Express crew an odd look. His gaze lingered on Old Man Welt in particular for quite a while before he sighed with regret.

The new system had unlocked another lottery function for him, essentially an add-on for the original system. It added a card pool similar to a friendship pool. There were no UR- or SSR-rank rewards in it, but SR through N cards, along with EX-rank Easter egg rewards, could be drawn through means other than points. It was practically a replica of Fate/Grand Order's friendship pool.

All he needed to do was collect other people's emotions.

For instance, making someone so excited that they performed military boxing on the spot counted as one kind. Making someone so furious that they wanted to give someone else a round of military boxing also counted.

And he...

He regretted it now. He regretted it immensely.

Over the past few days, during all that time he had spent with that old man Welt, he had unknowingly missed out on a huge pile of emotion value that could have been squeezed out of him!

System, why didn't you come sooner?!

Damn it! Why wasn't there a time machine?!

His chance to thoroughly break that old man's defenses had already been wasted. And even... the Iron Tomb Lord earlier could have provided him with a massive amount of emotion value. Ordinary people could only offer scraps after the decimal point. It was not every day that one could fleece targets of the caliber of a Lord of Annihilation or the Herrscher of Reason.

"No, I need to get to the Honkai Impact 3rd World as soon as possible."

At the thought of making the Main Trio, Altera, the Seductive Herrscher, or the Thirteen Flame-Chasers shed little tears, Mr. Emiya was so excited that he nearly jumped up and performed a set of military boxing on the spot.

"As for Teyvat... once I get Makoto Raiden over here, I can definitely make Ei Raiden's defenses break over and over again..."

"And there's the Nasuverse. If I bring Aoko over first, have her walk a Path, then drag her back to the Nasuverse and thoroughly empty Touko's wallet..."

All sorts of wild ideas began bubbling up in his mind, and Mr. Emiya could not help revealing a bright smile. Dan Heng happened to catch that "bright" expression out of the corner of his eye and immediately shuddered.

That smile... was clearly full of malicious intent.

Hope whoever it is will be okay.

The former Named Dragon Lord silently offered several seconds of kind prayers for whoever might soon suffer. Then he quickly looked away. Unfortunately, Mr. Emiya seemed to have noticed something. He glanced at Dan Heng, then suddenly smiled strangely.

"I almost forgot about the Cloud-Piercer Five. If I can find a way to revive Bai Heng—especially if I first give them a little hope that she can be revived—wouldn't Jing Yuan, Jingliu, and the rest be weeping and kowtowing to me?"

The love and hatred between Xianzhou people was simply wonderful. Hurry up and serve it already, I could not wait any longer. Should he just skip Belobog entirely?

Thinking that Luocha, Otto's alternate-universe counterpart, would show up there too, if he manufactured some interesting "evidence" and put it in front of Welt, wouldn't that old man be so excited that he tossed a few pseudo-black holes at Luocha to boost his rankings?

"Damn it, if I had some system like a Universal Livestream, I could just post a few fan-edit videos and traumatize countless people. Even if ordinary people only provide scraps after the decimal point, it would add up to a considerable income. By then, wouldn't I be able to draw from the friendship pool whenever I wanted?"

"Come to think of it, I haven't started developing my Nen ability yet. Should I develop it in that direction?"

Shirou Emiya pondered the direction in which to develop his Nen ability. Nen aura differed from conventional Imaginary energy. It was more like "Lesser Source Mana"—that is, biological life energy, or simply "bioenergy." Compared to the vast, nearly inexhaustible Imaginary energy, bioenergy had to be squeezed from one's own body, was extremely limited in scale, and its developed abilities varied greatly in strength. Thus, this field was not particularly advanced across the universe.

"It's still a bit risky. If it has to cover the entire universe, my Nen aura definitely won't be enough."

"Maybe I should try precise targeting? But then there'd be no need to specifically make a livestream room... Should I just make a chat group myself?"

With the Aurora Curtain in hand, Mr. Emiya thought developing his Nen aura in this direction might be quite good.

"Something like the Mist Space in Lord of the Mysteries, randomly pulling people inside? The targeting mechanism would take a bit of effort, but as long as I can target story characters I know, I can efficiently gain emotion value by spoiling the plot to break their defenses, or by earning their gratitude."

The essence of developing a Nen ability was unleashing one's imagination. As long as one had enough aura, even materializing Thanos's six Infinity Stones would not be impossible. But for an aura reserve at that level, he would probably have to summon peak Goku and Broly to see whether there was any hope.

At the very least, Mr. Emiya did not think he could compete in vitality with Saiyans, Otsutsuki, Kryptonians, or creatures like that.

"My current physical strength is quite limited. Although the Crimson Eye has increased my potential aura reserve, I'm still within the realm of humanity."

To develop the Nen ability he envisioned, Shirou Emiya estimated that he would need at least the vitality level of a Phantasmal Species. If he possessed extraordinary organs like Artoria's Dragon Core, then in a pure beginner-village map like Belobog, he could simply tear his way through everything with his bare hands.

"Future draws should focus more on this. The friendship pool also has rewards like basic physique enhancements. If I stack several hundred or thousand varieties of them, tearing apart a Lord of Annihilation with my bare hands might not be impossible."

While his mind stormed with ideas, his work never slowed. Since March 7th had fulfilled his "wish" from the standpoint of a "friend," he naturally could not treat this great March 7th immortal poorly.

"This is the power of a Mascot Girl... If I ever get the chance to meet Paimon, I'll need to think of something too..."

Shirou Emiya muttered softly, then lowered his head to look at the various dishes already completed in his hands.

"Looks like I don't need to think of another method after all."

"March 7th is a jinx, Kiana is absurdly lucky. What type is Paimon? A genius at naming? Would it work if she gave me a nickname?"

"Come to think of it, there's also Anby from Zenless Zone Zero."

"Do the mascot girls from the main franchise have this kind of metaphysical luck? I'll test it on Aoko when I get back..."

Kariya Matou: "Hello there (fuck you!)." (3/4)

The skills of the so-called Chaldea Housekeeper naturally needed no introduction.

Even Chaos Evil would warmly call that man in an apron, who could project frying pans and kitchen knives at any time, "Mom."

And Mr. Emiya had inherited everything from Shirou Emiya, that individual upon the Throne of Heroes. Naturally, that included his cooking skills.

You could doubt Shirou Emiya's ideals, but you could never deny Shirou Emiya's cooking. After all, he was a man capable of building a harem in a food anime.

From Fuyuki to London, and in certain worlds, he had even traversed the Middle East and countless battlefields. French, Italian, Chinese, Japanese—his memories contained something from all of them.

Other than the ideals he inherited from Kiritsugu Emiya, the thing that truly and wholly belonged to Shirou Emiya himself was probably "cooking": a seemingly ordinary skill that he had continued refining even after becoming a guardian.

When Shirou Emiya brought the finished dishes to the dining table, everyone from March 7th and Dan Heng to Himeko and Welt showed obvious surprise. Only Asta nodded as though this were perfectly natural.

"Emiya, you really are a master chef?"

Although Shirou Emiya had entered the kitchen because of her, March 7th had never expected the dishes brought out to be this lavish before they actually reached the table.

"French aspic, omelets, udon, pasta, mapo tofu, Brazilian barbecue, cheese pie, macarons... Where on earth did you get all these ingredients?"

Welt could not help adjusting his glasses as he stared at Shirou Emiya in disbelief. The Astral Express certainly would not have such a complete stock of ingredients.

"Take a guess."

Shirou Emiya revealed a peculiar smile, laced with teasing amusement. The Herrscher of Reason's Authority could create the Star of Eden in Joyce's hands, Alahato in Joachim's—Old Man Welt's—hands, and the Moonlight Throne in Bronya's hands. In Shirou Emiya's hands... creating fruits, vegetables, and meat was not a problem either.

"...I suddenly don't want to know."

Old Man Welt shuddered. He had a feeling that the answer would be unpleasant.

"A wise choice."

Emotion Value from Welt Yang +23

A wave of emotion value entered his account, and Shirou Emiya smiled. That old man had once used his power of creation to reconstruct his own body. Since a human body could be reconstructed, the meat of livestock, fruits, and vegetables naturally posed no difficulty. As the saying went, Honkai Energy could do anything, while Imaginary energy was an even deeper source energy behind Honkai Energy. It was even easier for him to use. With enough Imaginary energy, he alone was an army.

The Herrscher Authorities of the Honkai world were no trifling powers. Even the Wind Herrscher, who had nearly wet herself after being frightened by a Titan, had an ability whose essence could not be underestimated. In the hands of someone who truly knew how to use it, Ideal Fluid was both offense and defense. In an atmospheric environment, it was practically invincible.

Not to mention molecular control, electromagnetic control, Space Manipulation, gravity manipulation—when brought out, nearly every one of those abilities could destroy a nation or devastate a continent.

"It's still somewhat wasteful for the power of Finality to be in Crumbs's hands."

After all, for someone who had to retake an exam on the moon, one could not expect her to develop all her abilities with any real precision. At most, she was like the guitarist in some light music club: she could use those abilities in a single-minded way, then rely on instinct to unleash their power.

The meal could be considered thoroughly enjoyable for both hosts and guests. During it, the Express crew had yielded several dozen emotion points in scattered bits and pieces. By the end of the meal, the emotion value had accumulated to 110 points.

It was not much, but it was enough for a single draw. In his room, Shirou Emiya casually tested his luck. At last, a flash of white light streaked past...

"Dark Magic Swordsman Karia (Complete Volume)"

"...Interesting."

Looking at the handwritten light novel stored in his inventory, Shirou Emiya smiled. This was a work Kariya Matou had written during his chuunibyou phase back in Shirou Emiya's Nasuverse homeland. When he returned and had the chance to see him, perhaps he could pretend to be a fan and deal him a devastating mental blow.

"But this alone doesn't seem quite enough."

"Oh? Do you have some new insight?"

"I need to read it aloud in front of certain people. Sakura and Rin, for example..."

"Now that's a fine job you're doing."

"If I don't do that, how can I make back the 100 emotion value?"

"True. If you do it your way, how could you possibly fail to make it back?"

"But merely making it back doesn't seem quite enough, does it?"

"Oh my, you're planning to double down?"

"Are you kidding? If I only get 100 emotion value back, wouldn't I have drawn this thing for nothing? Reading it in front of the Tohsaka couple is the real kill shot."

"Makes sense. He'll have to move to another planet afterward."

"Wait, who are you?"

Mr. Emiya reacted somewhat belatedly. Those words just now should not have been spoken aloud. He raised his head and looked around, but when he did, a laugh mixed with endless delight and joy echoed in his ears.

"You truly are forgetful, aren't you? Let me remind you. I'm that big rock's neighbor—your good brother."

"Which big rock?"

"The big lump of rock that's always building walls."

"I get it. But there's a whole generation between us. If I call you brother, I'll shave quite a few years off my life."

"Ah, I finally wanted to become sworn brothers with someone, only to be rejected so directly. Aha has lost so much face!"

Though the words said as much, there was not a trace of negative emotion in that joyful laughter. It carried the happiness of all living beings in the world.

"But Aha still likes you very much."

As those words fell, a mask symbolizing the Masked Fool appeared at Shirou Emiya's waist without warning. Then a familiar musical intro sounded in his ears.

"He'll never give you up, he'll never let you down, he'll never run around and desert you, he'll never make you cry..."

"...Never Gonna Give You Up?"

"Well damn, you really understand everything."

Shirou Emiya could not help laughing as well, answering Aha's laughter. Within Aha's laughter, he could receive all responses that brought joy to the heart. Their earlier conversation had not truly been Aha communicating with him in words; rather, that laughter had transformed into responses he could understand, tailored to his own way of thinking.

"Looks like I really can't refuse this."

Lowering his head to look at the fool's mask hanging at his waist, Shirou Emiya also sensed that a second Path, beyond Preservation, had opened its gates to him.

"Joy, huh? It's quite a fitting Path for me."

It could be called the Path of people who lived for amusement, but the ways it sought pleasure were by no means limited to harming, deceiving, or oppressing others. For example, if one sought happiness by fighting for all the beauty in the world and striving for everything beautiful, that too was a form of Joy.

Of course... if one's creed was something like "Gréshia's feet belong in my mouth," "Mei can step on me," or "I am Elysia's dog," and one found pleasure in that... then the Path of Joy acknowledged that as well.

After all, the freer one's fetishes, the freer the Path of Joy was.

As long as your pay is high enough, why would I be afraid of working overtime voluntarily?! (4/4)

"I heard that Aevium once picked up Aha, who was disguised as an ordinary person, and brought him onto the train... Do people on the Trailblaze Path all have some hidden setting that makes them pick up rare curios like this?"

The Savior of The Azure Star—a doll—was small in stature but not in temper. She stood before the Express crew and inspected them carefully.

"None of the people on this train are simple."

With her discerning eye, she could naturally tell that everyone aboard possessed extraordinary traits. However, merely looking with the naked eye would clearly not yield any useful conclusion. After pondering briefly, the Savior suddenly spoke.

"I have a new project here. If you have time, you can come participate. I've prepared plenty of rewards—Credits, Cosmic Curios, Light Cones, Relics. As long as you help my project achieve results, you can take anything from my warehouse."

"Also, I've already received Asta's report regarding Iron Tomb."

Her gaze turned toward Shirou Emiya as she continued.

"I heard you're very interested in the broken sword in my Collection Room. I can give it to you. If you're interested in curios, then as long as you participate in my 'Metaverse' project, I can give you two additional items."

"The word Metaverse feels like it's already been used to death."