Confessions of the Heart

Seeing Qin Yu's instantly changing expression, Xiao Yi Xian felt a surge of warmth in her heart:

Does my departure bother you so much?

"... What's wrong with you?"

Qin Yu slowly released his grip. Judging from Xiao Yi Xian's expression, she didn't seem to be leaving.

Where does this reluctance to part come from?

The two looked at each other in silence. After a moment, Xiao Yi Xian took the initiative to step forward, hugged Qin Yu, rested her head on his chest, and said:

"I don't know if our meeting was destined by fate or purely accidental, but..."

She swallowed hard, her tone turning somewhat wistful:

"At least during this time, I've been really happy."

"If you're happy, why do this?"

Qin Yu still didn't understand. Xiao Yi Xian, is this... that period, like every woman's monthly period?

"Because I was happy, I... started to feel reluctant to let go, and I also started to feel afraid."

"What are you afraid of?"

Xiao Yi Xian took a deep breath, as if she had made up her mind, and then spoke:

"I decided a long time ago that before this constitution fully manifests, I would find a deserted place and die quietly."

"Someone like me is no one's concern while I'm alive, and there's nothing to regret about me when I die. It's better for everyone if I just find a secluded place and quietly disappear."

"But after spending this time with you, I've started to feel a bit..."

Qin Yu remained silent, simply listening quietly as Xiao Yi Xian poured out her heart.

Everyone has things on their mind, and it's a good thing that she chose to speak out.

Only the occasional sound of the night wind from outside the window remained in the room. After a long while, Xiao Yi Xian spoke again, burying her face in his clothes:

"I'm not afraid of death, I just suddenly can't bear to leave, I can't bear to die like this..."

"And I'm afraid that one day, my body will get out of control and I might hurt you."

Qin Yu lowered his head, and Xiao Yi Xian's hair brushed against his chin, carrying a faint fragrance.

"I've always thought that if one day the Poison Body suddenly erupts when I'm least expecting it, you'll definitely be the first one to rush at me."

Her fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt tightly, her fingertips turning slightly white, and her voice trembled more and more:

"But you still have a college to attend, a bright future ahead of you. If I ruin your future..."

She abruptly stopped mid-sentence; Xiao Yi Xian simply couldn't continue. Qin Yu could also feel his chest damp with sweat.

"I didn't think there was anything good about being alive before. Gathering herbs and treating patients in Qingshan Town was just a way of life when I didn't know where I was going. But now..."

Her forehead was still pressed against Qin Yu's chest, as if she was afraid that if she looked up and saw Qin Yu's face, she would lose the courage to continue speaking.

"Now I want to live. I want to see what the Jia Nan Academy you mentioned is like. I want to go with you to all the places you told me about."

Her fingers clenched even tighter.

"But I don't know what to do. I believe you can help me solve my physical problems, but... but I can't help it. The more I cherish this world, the more I cherish you, the more afraid I become."

"I'm afraid the Poison Body will suddenly take effect, and I'm afraid I'll have to sneak away before I can even see those places with you."

"I'm even more afraid that you'll sacrifice yourself to save me. These past few days I've been thinking... if I didn't have this constitution, would things be much less troublesome?"

Qin Yu listened quietly, and the Xiao Yi Xian's choked and trembling voice stirred up waves in his heart.

In short, the reason for Xiao Yi Xian's emotional outburst tonight can be summed up in five words: a lack of security.

After all, she is still a young girl now, not the Poison Sect Master she will become many years later.

She now has people and things she cares about, but she doesn't have the ability to control them for the time being, which is why she feels uneasy.

"Alright."

Qin Yu placed his hand on the back of her head, his fingers running through her hair, and said in a deep voice:

"I've never thought of you as a nuisance."

Xiao Yi Xian's shoulders trembled slightly, but she didn't say anything more.

"I can definitely fix your physical condition. All I need now is time. Give me time, and I'll give you the answer."

She remained silent for a long time before softly replying:

"I believe you, but... I'm still scared."

Xiao Yi Xian raised her head, having shed all her pretense, revealing only the true nature of a teenage girl.

"It's okay, just say so when you're scared."

Qin Yu tightened his arms, pulling her completely into his embrace.

Xiao Yi Xian's figure was slightly petite, and she was almost invisible when wrapped in his arms.

You're welcome to stay here anytime.

Xiao Yi Xian smiled, buried her face in Qin Yu's chest, and quietly wiped away the last tear that hadn't yet dried from the corner of her eye.

Then, she curled up in Qin Yu and remained motionless, as if she wanted to make up for all the peace of mind she had lost over the years by being with him.

Qin Yu didn't push her away. After a long time, she slowly raised her head.

Moonlight streamed in through the windowpane, falling directly on their faces.

She looked at Qin Yu, and Qin Yu looked at her.

Unbeknownst to them, the two drew closer and closer, and the air in the room seemed to be drawn by something invisible, instantly becoming enchanting.

Xiao Yi Xian's ears burned red, but she did not lower her head.

"Qin Yu."

"Um."

"Did I... hug you for too long?"

"... It seems so."

That's what they said, but neither of them let go. Instead, they moved even closer, so close that if Xiao Yi Xian's eyelashes trembled slightly, they could brush against Qin Yu's cheek.

Qin Yu was so close that he only needed to lower his head slightly to touch Xiao Yi Xian's moist cherry lips.

Why... why are you standing so close?

"... Why don't you look at what you're doing with your hands?"

When Xiao Yi Xian came to her senses, she realized that it was actually her arm that was hooked around Qin Yu's neck.

But she didn't seem to intend to let go. Instead, she closed her eyes slightly, pursed her lips, and her breathing became somewhat rapid.

It seems a bit unreasonable for the two of them to be so close now without something happening.

"Knock knock knock."

Just then, a knock on the door shattered the ambiguous atmosphere in the room.

Xiao Yi Xian opened her eyes, her gaze a mixture of resentment, panic, and shame, her back teeth almost grinding to powder.

"I... I'm fine, you can go open the door."

The knocking continued outside the door. Xiao Yi Xian reluctantly and dejectedly let go of Qin Yu, sat down on the bed, and looked like a deflated balloon.

Qin Yu took a deep breath to calm himself down and looked at the mess this had made.

Who is it?

After confirming that Dou Qi person outside the door was only at the Dou Zhe level, Qin Yu asked through the door.

"Waiter, dinner will be delivered to your room."

Qin Yu opened the door a crack and took the food container from the waiter.

Just as he was about to close the door, he peeked out again and saw a lunchbox placed at the door of Xiao Yi Xian's room.

"Well, what's done is done. Let's eat first."

After taking the lunchbox back, Qin Yu didn't know what to say, so he could only call Xiao Yi Xian to eat.

After opening the lunchbox, Xiao Yi Xian picked up a piece of meat with her chopsticks, smelled it, and her expression immediately changed:

"Poisonous."