Chapter Thirty-One: Victoria Can Only Hold Off an Ursus Attack for 72 Hours? / Chapter Thirty-Two: Theresis: Are Steam Knights Completely Useless?

And now, just a script, just a rehearsal, had made three high-ranking Sarkaz laugh themselves into a heap—what joke could possibly be that funny? The Confessors and guards were all deeply suspicious.

But how could they have known? Looking at the three of them, one would find that although their duties and interests differed, they shared one greatest common trait: they were all masters of politics.

And what could make all three laugh together was undoubtedly a political joke—the script for Yes, Prime Minister that Chen Qi had given them.

Theresis and Manfred knew little about entertainment, but they understood politics very well. Yet because information on Terra was uniquely disconnected—there was a network but no satellites, and each mobile city basically only shared network information within its own region—each country's political system was generally known only to its own people.

But that did not stop them from laughing uncontrollably at Chen Qi's satire of the unspoken rules within Victoria's political system. The first episode alone had left these three veterans of the political arena in stitches.

"I have to admit, Director, you are an exceptionally talented jester. If you performed before the Royal Court, I am certain I would hear the decayed laughter of several old friends."

After a week of rehearsals, the Bloodborne Archon's opinion of Chen Qi had changed greatly. He had to admit that Chen Qi, who could blend politics, government, satire, and drama together, was a natural "jester."

"And a political expert as well. As I recall, you had never been to Victoria before accepting the Regent's invitation this time."

"In just a few days, you managed to grasp Victoria's political system? You even found so many loopholes and used them for satire?"

As the Bloodborne Archon spoke, he watched Chen Qi with a faint, ambiguous smile. Only after a long while did he say blandly:

"Should I say it is a pity you chose to become a director? If you had chosen politics, your prospects would have been limitless."

"—You flatter me, Bloodborne Archon. I am merely a director who also writes scripts. My talents go only that far. Politics is not something people like me should meddle in."

Chen Qi sensed the interest in the Bloodborne Archon's tone, but he had no desire whatsoever to be noticed by someone as unpredictable as him. Besides, Chen Qi was telling the truth.

What did he know about politics? Knowing economics did not make someone an economist, and he was not even qualified to argue politics online. The people before him were all seasoned political veterans.

Chen Qi hurriedly changed the subject. "Then please go get your makeup done. Since the characters you play are Victorian officials, and so Londinium's people can accept you, please age yourselves up a little and hide your Sarkaz horns."

"Rob Rata! I leave the three of them to you!"

Rob Rata: "Coming! Director Chen Qi! I guarantee I will turn these three Sarkaz into Aslan that even the locals cannot see through!"

Very soon, Rob Rata, the chief makeup artist Madam Sicily had specially brought in from Columbia during the filming of The Godfather, had chosen to continue traveling with Chen Qi's crew after filming was completed.

According to Rob Rata, she had grown tired of work without challenges. Chen Qi's crew, whether in terms of the films' success or the challenge of the work itself, gave her no reason to leave.

"No, no. Turn General Manfred and the Bloodborne Archon into Aslan. Turn His Highness the Regent into a Feline."

Chen Qi had to keep a close eye on such details. According to the setting, Hacker was a commoner prime minister who had worked in the media industry before entering politics, so he should not have Aslan blood. He could only be a Feline, Victoria's most populous race.

While Rob Rata worked on the three men's makeup, Talulah pulled Chen Qi aside and asked uneasily:

"Chen Qi, are we really going to make a show for them? For these... Sarkaz who came to Londinium to seize power?"

"Wouldn't we be helping evil? If we make a television drama that benefits them, Victoria's people will despise us, won't they?"

"What else can we do? The Blood Pact has been signed, they have not violated it, and they have even been quite cooperative so far. If we quit, wouldn't we fail to protect everyone in the crew?" Chen Qi shook his head. Of course he knew cooperating with Theresis was dangerous, but from the moment Manfred had approached them, the crew had no room to refuse.

Theresis needed their television drama to wage a "war of public opinion." That purpose had long since left Chen Qi and everyone in the Integrated Cultural Troupe with no way back. Theresis had already decided they could be useful allies.

And the forces Theresis possessed left Chen Qi's group with no room to resist. Talulah and Patriot were strong enough to let everyone in the crew roam the continent without fear, but against powers that could wield an entire nation's strength, they could do nothing.

Of course, Chen Qi was not someone who would simply wait to die. He just did not have enough Reputation points yet and did not know how to change the situation... Once filming of Yes, Prime Minister was over and he had gained enough Reputation points, he would see whether he could lead everyone out of this predicament.

"Let's wait and see for now. Theresis does not seem like someone who breaks his word... But we cannot put everyone in danger because of ourselves."

"I will lead everyone safely out of Londinium. Trust me, Talulah."

Chen Qi patted Talulah's shoulder. After a brief silence, Talulah solemnly nodded and said:

"I will protect you, Chen Qi. I will protect all of you."

"Mm. But before that, let's focus on filming."

Chen Qi was also very pleased. Talulah trusted him more and more now, because Chen Qi had used his knowledge of the story and the System's assistance to create miracles and change everything time after time. What Chen Qi needed most now was enough Reputation points to create another miracle.

Current Host Mission: Your film has already achieved tremendous success. Try expanding into other areas. Films must be made, and television dramas must be made too. Only then can things be considered complete.

Mission Reward: Reputation points corresponding to the influence of the Host's television drama, Any Item Redemption Voucher x1, Oripathy Treatment x1 (cannot completely cure Oripathy, but can provide a minor degree of recovery; 5 doses can reduce severe infection to mild infection)

Tip: Reputation points for a television drama are calculated based on each episode's influence. The remaining rewards can be claimed once a television drama is completed.

With this mission objective before him, Chen Qi had already made some plans. While earning enough Reputation points, once he obtained the Oripathy Treatment, he would give it to Rhodes Island.

One dose of treatment could not change much; it could only address an urgent need. But if he used it as a condition to have Rhodes Island treat everyone in the Integrated Cultural Troupe, that would truly remove Oripathy's threat from them.

Of course, the premise was that Chen Qi gained enough Reputation points to get everyone out of danger... But Chen Qi was not worried about that. It was not only his confidence in Yes, Prime Minister, but also his certainty that once Theresis obtained this television drama, he would heavily promote it throughout Londinium and even all of Victoria.

The foundation of a war of public opinion was casting a wide net. Theresis could not possibly fail to understand that. Therefore, after Yes, Prime Minister aired, Theresis would absolutely be unable to resist the public response it generated and would promote it aggressively!

By then, Chen Qi's Reputation gains would only exceed what he had earned when The Godfather aired in Syracuse! And each episode would be settled separately! Only two episodes would air each week!

At that pace, he could maximize his gains. Chen Qi's eyes glimmered faintly, as if he could see ever more Reputation points pouring in.

"Everyone, get into position! Are the actors ready?"

"All actors are in position, Director!"

"Good. Then, Episode One, Scene One of Yes, Prime Minister—ready—action!"

As Chen Qi's voice fell, the ghostly film crew and equipment quickly blended into the surroundings. Theresis, the Bloodborne Archon, and Manfred, now fully made up, had also removed their armor and changed into well-fitted suits. Combined with their aged-up yet still resolute and confident bearing, everyone could feel the aura of "social elites" rushing toward them.

That was the first effect Chen Qi wanted to achieve. No matter how ridiculous the three leads acted in the drama, they had to constantly project the temperament expected of elites. Even when elites acted absurdly, they absolutely could not resemble clowns, even in a comedy!

The contrast of absurdity happening to elites was what most easily made people laugh. And the conflict and humor of the first episode began with the contrast embodied by Prime Minister Hacker...

We Victoria Can Only Hold Back Ursus for 72 Hours?

For the first episode of Yes, Prime Minister, Chen Qi had made many revisions and additions to integrate the script's setting into Terra. The original Yes, Prime Minister had been a new work launched on the popularity of Yes, Minister, but if Chen Qi wanted to film Yes, Prime Minister directly now, he had to clearly establish much of the background and era.

Chen Qi chose an era in which everything fit perfectly. Gaul had not yet fallen; Iberia had not suffered the crisis of the Great Silence; Ursus, under its new Emperor, was embarking upon a grand path of industrialization and military expansion, fighting wars with many neighboring countries while its national strength rapidly grew.

Meanwhile, Victoria was in a state that "just happened to look like its peak." The Steam Knights Victoria took pride in had not been destroyed. Everything appeared to be an era of perfectly balanced strength, because every country was powerful, and their respective strengths formed the right kind of "balance"—an age resembling a "Cold War."

And that was exactly what Chen Qi wanted. During this period, every nation was powerful, but as the saying went, "One thrives in adversity and dies in comfort." Victoria, powerful for a long time, had gradually developed many hidden dangers and "parasites" amid the increasingly balanced situation.

Against such a backdrop, "Jim Hacker," played by Theresis, was a choice no party disliked, pushed forward after the candidates of two "splinter factions" lost their elections amid Victoria's party disputes. He was, plainly speaking, a "puppet prime minister."

But Hacker himself clearly thought highly of himself. Becoming prime minister at his age could indeed be called promising, so during his years in office, he wanted to achieve something, even lead a reform.

One essential duty of becoming prime minister was undoubtedly inspecting national defense. A Victorian military officer playing a Victorian duke introduced the new prime minister to an open secret—the "Steam Knight trigger button."

"Once your order is confirmed, the base will order an underground arms factory to send four Steam Knights to the designated battlefield."

When Hacker, played by Theresis, heard that Victoria had nearly a hundred Steam Knights for defense against Gaul, Iberia, and Ursus, he thought that number was already substantial. But he soon learned from the duke that it was not much at all.

"Compared to the over one thousand Emperor's Blades and ten army groups Ursus would use when preparing to conquer us, it is not much," the duke said.

"Once we develop new Steam Knights, our firepower will increase greatly."

But Theresis soon learned that Victoria's military could not withstand an Ursus army group's assault for seventy-two hours, and that he himself would ultimately have only twelve hours to decide whether to activate the Steam Knights and wage a war against Ursus with the nation's fate at stake. He remained deeply troubled afterward.

As for why Victoria's dukes were so vastly inferior to Ursus army groups... the duke's answer was:

"For twenty years, politicians have always said they cannot afford to maintain the military."

"The military is too expensive, Prime Minister." At that moment, Humphrey, played by the Bloodborne Archon, added his voice. He did not want the duke's words to make the prime minister feel a sense of crisis, so he added at just the right moment:

"A Steam Knight is much cheaper."

Yet after Hacker returned to Number 10, he remained worried about the matter, so distracted that he barely paid attention when his private secretary Bernard questioned him.

"So how long do you think this meeting should be?"

"...Seventy-two hours."

"Very well." Manfred, playing private secretary Bernard, immediately looked up at Theresis in surprise and tentatively asked:

"Uh... It is only a commissioner from the Tara region. Isn't seventy-two hours a bit too generous?"

"I was merely thinking about how long we could hold back the Ursus people." Theresis bluntly voiced the thoughts in his heart. Facing this loyal private secretary, he could speak freely.

"If we could persuade neighboring countries friendly to us to strengthen their militaries..."

"I do not think that would make any difference." Manfred put away his fountain pen. Seeing Theresis's questioning gaze, he introduced the current situation as though listing treasured possessions:

"Leithania's casters drink drugged beverages before going into battle. They do not even know which side they are on."

"During Leithania's last military exercise, their caster corps went into the forest for a 'picnic' with female soldiers from the Golden Law Guards."

"...Then what about the armies of our other friendly nations?" Theresis was somewhat speechless, but he still hoped other allies might be somewhat reliable. Yet Manfred's words shattered his final illusion:

"They are very good—at least on weekdays."

"Weekdays?" Theresis could not quite understand that word anymore.

"Yes. The armies of Laterano and Bolívar go home on weekends." With a completely calm expression, Manfred spoke words that were utterly absurd and yet undeniably true. It was clearly something everyone knew.

"...So when Ursus invades us, we had better hope they invade from Monday to Friday?"

Theresis was somewhat amused by anger. He performed this scene extremely naturally. Even after a week's preparation, whenever they rehearsed this part, Theresis found it absurd beyond measure, infuriating, and yet funny.

Weekend? For any Sarkaz, that word was utterly unfamiliar. Whether they were Sarkaz mercenaries struggling to survive under constant threat to their lives, or the Sarkaz armies who had experienced battlefields in the past, they had never possessed the concept of a "weekend."

Kazdel's revival was within sight. On this matter, Theresis and Theresia were highly aligned—Sarkaz could absolutely have no rest days. Kazdel's revival was paramount; they needed to rebuild cities destroyed one after another from the ruins.

Therefore, Sarkaz soldiers and mercenaries alike almost had no concept of rest days. When rehearsing this scene, Theresis, Manfred, and the Bloodborne Archon had all laughed for quite a while—it was the first time they had not broken character from laughter.

Even so, a careful observer would notice that Theresis and Manfred still had slight difficulty suppressing their smiles during this segment. Fortunately, both were naturally stone-faced, so controlling such minor emotions was still manageable.

What they did not know was that the filming set was not being watched only by the crew members hidden within the environment. In two rooms some distance away, the scene being filmed was also playing.

The two rooms housed different groups. In one were representative figures from the Sarkaz military selected by Manfred; in the other were representatives of Londinium politicians and civil servants selected by the Bloodborne Archon.

Faced with this live-broadcast scene, people in both soundproofed rooms burst into loud laughter. In the Sarkaz mercenaries' room, many Sarkaz laughed heartily and said:

"An army that would be swept away by an Ursus army group in seventy-two hours? This is mighty Victoria? I am dying!"

"Are they not even worse than us Sarkaz mercenaries? No wonder Londinium is under our control now! Hahahahaha!"

"The military gets vacations? Then if we attack their country on Saturday or Sunday, would nobody even come out to stop us? Hahahahaha!"

The Sarkaz laughed together. They were all veterans who had lived by the blade, Sarkaz who had grown up amid war since childhood. They could freely mock the weakness of Victoria's and other countries' armies—after all, many of them had fought Ursus army groups before and understood how formidable they were, but even they could hold out longer than seventy-two hours.

Compared to the Sarkaz, however, the Londinium politicians and civil servants in the other room laughed even louder, because they knew that this seemingly absurd situation was all true...

"Yes, exactly! Those Leithanian casters really do take drugs! Hahahahaha! They even drug their drinks. Now they have started artificially creating the Infected!"

A politician who knew the inside story laughed loudly, but the other civil servants and politicians were much the same.

"Laterano and Bolívar really do go home every weekend. Hey, I remember there was a similar proposal in the past, wasn't there? It was vetoed by our prime minister?"

"Because then all soldiers would count as civil servants. Only civil servants and parliamentarians get rest days! Hahahahaha!"

"Cannot afford it, cannot afford it! So many soldiers becoming civil servants—Victoria could never support them all!"

Yet whether it was the laughter of civil servants, politicians, or Sarkaz, it was all captured by the recording equipment in the rooms and fed into the backstage area.

Backstage, Chen Qi and Talulah listened to everyone's laughter. Talulah asked somewhat uncertainly, "Chen Qi... Are we really keeping the laughter in the television drama too?"

"Won't that make viewers feel confused? No television drama has ever incorporated laughter into the show before."

"Trust me, Talulah. Laughter is contagious." Chen Qi naturally had his reasons—the distinctive "canned laughter" of Western comedies had later been imitated repeatedly, so naturally it had its merits.

"This background laughter is somewhat like audience encouragement. It hints to viewers that 'this is where they should laugh.' Besides, our plot is already funny enough. We are not forcing these people to laugh."

If it were some gala, Chen Qi figured that even if he forced them to laugh, they probably would not be able to...

"...I hope you are right." Talulah was still somewhat worried, but every bold attempt Chen Qi had made had succeeded. Much of what she knew had also been learned from Chen Qi.

But even Talulah, the person closest to Chen Qi, occasionally could not keep up with his train of thought. Still, Talulah had always been trying—trying to understand Chen Qi's mind, even though it seemed difficult for her...

Yet the scene continued. After hearing this absurd news, Theresis could not help asking:

"Do many people know these things?"

"Since we know, the Ursus certainly know." Manfred's answer remained calm. He spoke as though it were only natural:

"Holy Steed Castle usually receives information related to Victoria faster than we do at 10 Austerity Street."

Manfred's single sentence made the laughter in both rooms grow even more unrestrained, because everyone understood the implication behind it.

It meant Victoria had already been infiltrated by Ursus spies until it was riddled with holes! Yet even Victoria's officials had to admit this was information known among their own people.

Although no one had yet wondered why the screenwriter of this television drama knew such things... Even if they did, given the current situation, they would only assume some insider had been threatened by the Sarkaz into revealing many secrets.

So... who had time to care about that? Just laugh. Victoria had not had a comedy this funny in a very long time. Were they not allowed to laugh a little?

Come on, keep the music playing, keep dancing.

Theresis: Steam Knights Are Useless?

"So we have to rely on the Steam Knights?" Faced with this absurd but true information, Hacker, played by Theresis, also reached a conclusion. It seemed that their only reliable national defense remaining was the Steam Knights Victoria took pride in.