Notice of Resuming Updates Today and an Apology

First of all, I would like to express my deepest apologies and gratitude to the readers who are still waiting for my updates. Thank you for your trust and patience during this time. I am truly very grateful and very sorry.

The original purpose of this chapter was to announce that this book will resume updates. However, I have broken my promises many times before, so I don't expect everyone to believe and accept it from the start. Please continue to urge me on.

However, this book has been on hiatus for almost two months now, and the author hasn't made any statement. This is actually a very strange and even infuriating situation. At this point, it seems impossible to just pretend nothing happened and start updating again. So I think it's necessary to post a separate chapter before starting to update to explain what exactly happened.

As I mentioned before, the cause of this problem is a spinal issue. Due to a back injury, I was unable to sit still for nearly a month and couldn't sit properly to type. Moreover, I spent a significant portion of my time in the hospital receiving physical therapy, so I was indeed unable to update during that period.

Of course, this is only the cause.

The reason for this was that I hadn't written anything for a month, and my thoughts and state of mind were somewhat out of sync, leading me to a point where I didn't even know how to continue. Under these circumstances, my workplace faced a period of rush work and overtime, and my already poor physical condition caused me to make repeated mistakes at work, even receiving criticism from my superiors. As a result, my mental state was relatively low, and I felt that my writing had become unrecognizable, completely unable to return to the creative state and level I wanted.

In fact, by today, the next forty-eight chapters alone have been rewritten at least seven or eight times. Although the plot I wanted to express was written in the outline, I simply cannot immerse myself in the world I envisioned. I even feel unfamiliar with the characters I created. I can't figure out what they are thinking, and I can't write interesting and coherent stories.

My personality actually has many flaws. I always tend to avoid difficult problems. When faced with something difficult or something I can't do well, I choose to bury my head and ignore it.

So, it's true that I've been busy with work lately, but that's also an excuse; in reality, it's "I chose to be busy with work."

Updating is so difficult and exhausting, I can't write it, so what should I do? Luckily, my workplace isn't too busy, and I don't have to work overtime, so I'll just focus on working overtime.

If writing novels was initially a way for me to find a spiritual haven to escape my busy work life, then these past two months have been a way for me to escape the mental exhaustion I felt while writing novels and return to my work.

At this point, some readers might ask: Why not say it out loud?

Yes, why not say it?

Perhaps this is also related to my own creative philosophy, because I hope to remove the existence of the "author" from the novel writing process. I personally dislike reading novels where the author writes separate chapters every day about family matters and personal feelings, as this reduces my sense of immersion. Therefore, I really hope that readers are unaware of my personal existence while reading.

In addition, when I was updating frequently and taking leave notices, I was told, "If you're not going to update, don't post chapters; nobody wants to see leave notices." This viewpoint put me in a very neurotic internal struggle.

I entered a state of mind where I felt like I didn't want to step forward again unless I wrote an update.

Rather than sheepishly delivering a leave notice and disappointing news, it's better to proudly announce "I finished writing" with a major update.

That's what I thought at the time.

But the truth is, I'm just too useless; I still can't write it.

Draft after draft was rejected, to the point that I found the current part of the story I was writing utterly bland and uninteresting. My creative enthusiasm waned, and I still couldn't produce anything good enough.

And I started to think: after such a long hiatus, releasing a poorly written new chapter might disappoint everyone even more, so I kept holding back, revising, and deleting.

And that's where things got really messy: everyone was out of sync.

Readers are still eagerly awaiting my updates, the book club administrators are caught in the middle, editors are waiting for me to get back on track, and me? I'm still stuck in a vicious cycle.

During this time, many readers sent me private messages to criticize me. I felt they were right to criticize me, but because I was holding my breath, I pretended not to see them. So this was another misalignment: I even missed the private messages that encouraged me.

This was a terrible handling of the situation.

To be honest, even though I announced today that I would resume updates, I still don't feel like I've recovered. But the constant delays only make readers more uncertain, so I have to step forward, bring this unsatisfactory manuscript back here, and keep going.

This announcement is an apology and a promise to the readers, as well as a final ultimatum to myself. I can no longer remain trapped in this vicious cycle of internal conflict. No matter what the situation, I must release the update.

To be honest, the reason for this chapter actually stems from a line from a character in a new anime series that season. That line might have been just an insignificant statement in the anime, but it had a tremendous impact on me at that moment.

Why do we always keep important things to ourselves?

Yes, why can't we say what's important?

Perhaps this is inherently a lack of trust and alienation, because people are afraid that if they speak out, they won't get the response they want, so they dare not say it.

Because they fear that speaking the truth will be belittled or questioned, they use jokes or silence to embellish and cover it up.

At any time, writers should be filled with a passionate desire to share their fantasy world with those who believe in their stories.

I haven't become that kind of person yet. My limited abilities and fluctuating mindset often shut the door on the world of my imagination. I stand outside the closed door, feeling uneasy and helpless in a world devoid of light.

But no matter what, that original aspiration will not change.

I must tell those who have read this story that the world behind the door is beautiful.

Perhaps I should speak my mind, what's important. No matter how ridiculous or immature the reason, I shouldn't keep it to myself; doing so will only breed more suspicion and resentment.

Therefore, I am using this single chapter to express my apology and determination. Today's update should be released tonight after I get home from get off work and make some final adjustments to the old draft.

Please wait a moment, we will resume our journey at a later time.