"Larkspur!"
She suddenly raised her voice. "I-I actually have another rather negative, or perhaps cowardly thought! I think I have to say it!"
"Before I knew the true cause of Mom's death, I could still calmly accept the dangers magical girls faced. But ever since I learned the truth, I've started to feel conflicted!"
"I can't tell whether it's hatred or fear. I don't know which feeling is stronger. But I do know that I despise myself for thinking this way."
Hearing her words, Larkspur did not judge her directly. Instead, she asked, "Why? Because of your mother?"
"...These past few days, I've kept thinking about these things, and I've started to feel that knowing the truth wasn't necessarily a good thing."
Lin Xiaolu answered with a complicated expression, "Simply 'knowing magical girls risk death' and 'a magical girl I know has died' feel completely different."
"It used to feel like something very far away from me, but now it suddenly feels as though it happened right beside me. Even when I dream, I start feeling uneasy."
"Isn't it strange? I've been a magical girl for so long, but only these past few days have I begun to feel afraid. Even compared to feelings like 'revenge,' what I feel more is the urge to 'shrink back' and 'run away.' Because I keep thinking, if one day I meet the enemy who killed Mom, will I die like she did?"
"I've had thoughts of revenge, but I'm afraid of revenge itself. I even want to hide far away and keep pretending I don't know anything."
"But if I do that, can I still face Mom? What was the point of gaining this power? Whenever I think about it, even my resolve to keep fighting starts to waver."
"Does that sound ridiculous?