Remember to shave your legs

Click.

The front door swung open.

An exhausted-looking boy walked into the apartment with a cat.

"Oh, not bad."

Qubi looked around, sounding like a client inspecting a newly finished apartment.

"Having your very own operations room at this age already puts you ahead of ninety percent of Magical Girls, young man."

"This is my home, not an operations room."

Chen De tossed his schoolbag aside and flopped onto the couch.

The springs let out a scream.

"Qubi, turn on the lights."

"Okay."

The white cat ran over to the light switch and flicked its tail.

Click.

Warm light instantly filled the apartment.

He called it home, but it was really just a small apartment of around fifty square meters.

The living room, bedroom, and kitchen were crammed together like Russian nesting dolls, one tucked inside another.

Although it was kept clean, the place still had an unmistakably dated feel.

It was the only asset his parents had left behind after they were gone.

Chen De switched on the TV, and the evening news anchor's voice immediately filled the room.

"...At three this afternoon, a building collapsed on the shopping street in West City for unknown reasons. No casualties have been confirmed. Witnesses reported seeing an unidentified black object at the scene. The relevant authorities are investigating..."

Chen De glanced at the screen.

"Was that a Calamity's doing?"

"Most likely." Qubi hopped onto the couch and sat beside him, curling its tail into a ring.

"A fierce calamity. Another Magical Girl has already dealt with it."

"There are other Magical Girls in this city?"

"Of course. Did you think you were the only one?"

"Then why didn't you go to them instead of ruining my life?"

"Because they're not as talented as you."

"So being talented is a sin now, huh?"

Chen De rolled over, facing the back of the couch as he spoke in a muffled voice.

"Qubi."

"I'm here."

"You really make yourself at home, don't you?"

"Thanks for the compliment."

"That wasn't a compliment."

Chen De rolled back over and stared at the ceiling.

His mind was full of what had just happened in the alley.

Transforming.

Wearing a skirt.

Firing a gun.

Slashing a lump of unidentified black stuff.

Put any normal high school student through that, and they'd probably need a therapist.

But right now, Chen De's biggest feeling was just one thing-hunger.

"Do you eat cat food?"

"I don't eat cat food."

"Then what do you eat?"

"I don't need to eat."

"You don't eat anything?"

"I'm not a cat."

"You look like a cat."

"Looking like a cat doesn't mean I'm a cat on the inside. You should understand that."

Qubi glanced at him with its emerald-green eyes.

"After all, you look like a boy, but after you transform-"

"Shut up."

Chen De decisively cut that subject short.

He got up, went into the kitchen, and opened the fridge.

Inside were two eggs, half a cucumber, and a bottle of milk three days past its expiration date.

"...Are you really that broke?"

At some point, Qubi had followed him to the kitchen doorway.

"Stay out of it, you cat who doesn't need to eat."

Expressionlessly, Chen De tossed the expired milk into the trash and started frying the eggs.

As the cooking fumes rose, a question suddenly occurred to him, one he'd overlooked earlier when the money had gone to his head.

"Qubi."

"Hmm?"

"When you said I was really talented, what exactly did you mean?"

Qubi jumped from the kitchen doorway onto the dining table and tilted its head.

"Exactly what I said."

"Your talent is more than five times that of an ordinary Magical Girl."

"If we factor in special circumstances, it's even higher."

The spatula in Chen De's hand paused.

"Five times?"

"You felt it yourself, didn't you? You created two weapons on your very first transformation."

For the first time, Qubi's voice took on a hint of seriousness.

"Most Magical Girls are doing well if they can create one weapon during their first transformation. And most of those are basic types, like magic staves."

"You started with a gun and a blade, both physically manifested weapons."

"That means your magic is extremely concentrated, and your conversion efficiency is exceptionally high."

Chen De flipped the eggs.

"That sounds pretty impressive."

"It is impressive." Qubi nodded. "People who can become Magical Girls are already one in a million."

"And there's another important requirement."

"What?"

"Age."

Qubi swished its tail.

"Only adolescent girls can become Magical Girls."

"Once that period is over, you can't become a Magical Girl, no matter how talented you are."

Chen De slid the fried eggs onto a plate, carried it to the dining table, and sat down.

"Why?"

"Because you've lost the most important thing."

Qubi lowered its head, the warm yellow light reflected in its emerald-green eyes.

"You could call it 'heart,' or feelings, love, hope."

"Basically, something very pure and very passionate."

"After adulthood, it gradually fades until it can no longer sustain magic."

Chen De took a bite of egg.

"So magic is powered by love and hope?"

"More or less."

"What about me, then? I'm not a girl. Where's a grown-ass guy like me supposed to get love and hope?"

Qubi glanced at him.

"When that lesser calamity nearly lunged into your face in the alley, what was your first reaction?"

Chen De thought back.

"I figured, fine, I'll wear a skirt. I'll just be the toughest one out there."

"Right. Exactly that."

"Exactly what?"

"No matter what kind of crazy mess you run into, your first reaction is never fear or despair."

Qubi stood up and paced a couple of steps across the dining table.

"Instead, you think about how to deal with it. You can even cheer yourself on in the most ridiculous situations."

"That almost absurd level of optimism is, at its core, an exceptionally strong 'heart.'"

"Put simply, you're far too mentally healthy."

Chen De chewed his egg in silence for a moment.

"You have a really weird way of complimenting people."

"Also, I suspect you're calling me oblivious."

"More or less."

"Could you at least deny it!"

Qubi laughed.

Come on, a laughing cat is seriously weird.

"Anyway, cherish the state you're in now."

"The window for making a contract is very short. Once you're past adolescence, your chance is gone for good."

Chen De stuffed the last bite of egg into his mouth, stood up, and dropped the plate into the sink.

"Fine. I've already signed anyway. It's too late to say anything now."

He returned to the couch and glanced at the TV.

The news had moved on to the next story.

"...The popular idol group Star Wish announced today that it will hold a charity concert in our city next month. At that time-"

Chen De changed the channel.

"Qubi, when will that fifty thousand come through?"

"It's already arrived. Check your phone."

Chen De took out his phone.

A text notification from the bank showed a deposit of exactly forty thousand yuan.

"...Seeing what's left after your twenty-percent cut really pisses me off."

"If it's not enough, kill a few more."

"Easy for you to say."

Chen De tossed his phone aside and sprawled on the couch.

The ceiling light made him squint a little.

"Oh, there's one more thing."

Qubi hopped onto the armrest.

"Tomorrow night, there may be signs of Calamity activity near the Eastside Industrial Zone."

"What level?"

"Most likely a lesser calamity, but there's a very small chance it'll be a fierce calamity."

Chen De raised his head.

"You said a fierce calamity pays a hundred and fifty thousand each, right?"

"A hundred and twenty thousand after deductions."

"Another cut?"

"Of course."

Chen De lay back down and stared at the ceiling.

"A hundred and twenty thousand."

"Mm-hmm."

"Tomorrow night."

"Mm-hmm."

"Eastside Industrial Zone."

"Mm-hmm."

Three seconds of silence passed.

"I'm going."

Qubi narrowed its eyes in satisfaction.

"I knew it."

"Shut up. I'm just short on cash."

"Magical Girls who are short on cash are usually strong fighters."

"What kind of weird theory is that?"

"A poor man's Saiyan."

"You're a cat, and you watch Dragon Ball?"

Qubi didn't answer.

It jumped off the couch and padded over to the balcony window, gazing out at the night.

The city lights twinkled in the distance.

"Chen De."

"What?"

"You need to prepare yourself."

Qubi's voice suddenly lost its usual flippancy.

"The Lesser Calamity is only the beginning."

"Once you choose to go down this path..."

"A normal life will only slip further and further out of reach."

"What's coming next will be more and more trouble."

Chen De turned his head to look at the white cat's back.

The moonlight outside traced a silver outline around it.

"You're actually making me more nervous by suddenly getting serious."

"Then let me put it another way."

Qubi turned around, its emerald eyes shining like two glass marbles in the moonlight.

"Remember to shave your legs before you go out tomorrow."

"Leg hair really shows through white stockings."

Chen De grabbed a throw pillow and hurled it at the cat.

The white cat nimbly dodged.

The pillow sailed off the balcony and vanished into the night.

A dog barked somewhere beyond it.

"My pillow!"

"See? That's the price of acting on impulse."