Are You Senile?

For some reason.

When Chen De dragged himself out of bed today, he felt sore all over.

Not the kind of soreness you got after exercising.

The kind you got after someone put a sack over your head in the middle of the night and worked you over from head to toe with a baseball bat.

His joints hurt.

His muscles hurt.

Even his toes were protesting.

Or rather, it had been like this every day lately.

It was just that today's soreness had clearly gone up another level.

Yesterday, he had been beaten with a stick.

Today, he had been beaten with a stick, then kicked around a couple more times.

Chen De gritted his teeth and sat up in bed, his spine letting out a series of worrying cracks.

Like stepping on bubble wrap.

"I'm only seventeen..."

He braced a hand against his waist and stood up, and his knee cracked again.

The body of a seventeen-year-old, with the sound effects of a seventy-year-old.

Ignoring the soreness,

he headed for the sink the moment he got up.

This was an unchanging daily routine.

More important than eating.

More important than breathing.

More important than being alive.

—Self-inspection.

Chen De stood before the mirror.

He took a deep breath.

Then raised his head.

The person in the mirror looked at him.

He looked back at the person in the mirror.

Then his brain froze for a moment.

"Nothing changed today?"

His face was still yesterday's face.

His hair was still yesterday's length.

His height—at a glance, it did not seem to have shrunk either.

His skin was pale, but not any paler.

His features were delicate, but not any more delicate.

Everything was exactly the same as yesterday.

Chen De froze.

That was not scientific.

Based on the rate of change lately, he had discovered a new surprise in the mirror every morning.

And today, nothing had changed?

Had his body finally stabilized?

Had it reached some middle point?

Did this mean he finally would not keep shrinking?

An immense surge of joy welled up from the depths of his heart.

Just then,

Qubi crawled out from who knew what nook or cranny and squatted on the edge of the sink.

Its emerald eyes narrowed into two slits.

"Have you gone senile?"

Chen De's joy caught in his throat.

"Did you forget about the patch you put on last night?"

The air fell silent for a full three seconds.

Chen De lowered his head and glanced at the left side of his waist.

That translucent circular patch was quietly stuck there.

It was the size of a coin.

It was as thin as plastic wrap.

It was faithfully carrying out its duty—freezing his appearance.

So it was not that he had not changed.

He had changed, but it was impossible to see.

Because the patch had locked his outward appearance in yesterday's state.

His excitement had been for nothing.

His fists clenched.

"Who are you calling old?!"

Chen De grabbed a towel and viciously hurled it at Qubi.

Qubi sidestepped it, and the towel smacked against the wall.

"I'm stating a fact. You even forgot you put on a patch."

"I didn't forget! I just... hadn't reacted yet because I just woke up!"

"What do you call that?"

"Morning grumpiness!"

"No, that's an early symptom of dementia."

Chen De had already sent a second towel flying.

Qubi easily dodged again.

"You have plenty of strength when you throw things. Doesn't look like dementia."

"Try saying that one more time."

"Fine, I won't say it."

Qubi jumped onto the toilet lid and sat down, licking its paw.

"But you should be concerned about the real problem."

"What problem?"

"The patch can only maintain your appearance. It can't maintain how your body feels."

Chen De stopped moving.

"What does that mean?"

"It means other people will see no change in you, but your body itself will continue changing as it should."

"The soreness, skeletal adjustment, muscle remodeling—all of it is proceeding as usual beneath the patch."

"So your whole body hurts today not because you slept badly."

"It's because your body was interfered with again last night."

Chen De leaned against the sink and closed his eyes.

"So you mean the patch is just cosmetic."

"The insides will still collapse however they're going to collapse."

"You could put it that way."

"Then what did I spend five hundred on?"

"Peace of mind."

"Peace of mind costs five hundred?"

"In your situation, it does."

Chen De opened his mouth, only to realize he actually had no way to refute that.

He lowered his head and flexed his wrist.

It had gotten thinner.

Though the mirror did not show it, he could feel it himself.

His bones were changing, his muscles were changing, and his whole body was sliding toward that one-meter-fifty direction.

The patch had merely pasted a layer of wallpaper over the outside.

The wall underneath would still crack as it pleased.

"Qubi."

"Mm."

"Will the soreness keep going?"

"It will continue during the adjustment period. The intensity varies from person to person."

"What level is mine?"

"Moderately high."

"Is there any way to ease it?"

"There are pain-relief consumables in the shop."

Chen De's eyelid twitched.

"How much?"

"Soothing ointment. Three hundred per tube, good for one day."

"Three hundred?!"

"If you think that's expensive, there's an oral version for two hundred, but the taste—"

"Let me guess. Traditional medicine mixed with expired yogurt and vinegar?"

"This time, it's traditional medicine, expired yogurt, vinegar, and a spoonful of mustard."

"Does your R&D department have a grudge against humanity?"

Qubi's tail swayed, but it did not deny it.

Chen De took a deep breath.

Three hundred a day meant nine thousand a month.

Add the patch, and that was fifteen thousand a month.

The maintenance costs alone came to twenty-four thousand every month.

Right now, he did not feel like he was trapped by a mortgage.

He felt trapped by a mortgage, car loan, and consumer loan all at once, plus an overdue credit card bill.

"I'm not buying it."

Chen De gritted his teeth.

"I'll endure it and it'll pass."

"Are you sure? It won't feel good if the pain hits while you're at school."

"What hardship haven't I suffered since I was little?"

"Have you ever suffered through skeletal remodeling?"

"...Shut up."

Chen De started brushing his teeth.

After swishing the toothpaste foam around his mouth twice, he remembered something else.

"Qubi."

"Mm."

"The patch lasts twenty-four hours. I put it on at eleven last night."

"Right."

"So it'll expire at eleven tonight."

"Right."

"That means I have to put on a new one at the same time every day."

"Right."

"What if I forget?"

"Then you'll go to school the next day in your true appearance."

"Your classmates will see a Chen De who became shorter, thinner, paler, and prettier overnight."

Chen De's hand froze mid-brush.

"I'll set an alarm."

"I suggest setting three."

"Why three?"

"With your memory, one won't be enough."

Chen De jammed the toothbrush into the cup.

"Qubi, did you eat something you shouldn't have today? Why is your mouth so vicious?"

"I ate the instant noodles you didn't finish yesterday."

"How come it was gone right after I made it?!"

"Not bad."

Chen De decided to stop talking to this stupid cat.

He splashed some water on his face and changed into his school uniform.

The uniform was a little too big again.

The sleeves had grown longer by a section.

The pant legs dragged on the floor too.

But with the patch on, no one could tell.

At least, not on the surface.

Chen De rolled his sleeves up twice—then realized the gesture was pointless.

The patch would still make others see him as he had looked yesterday.

It made no difference whether he rolled up his sleeves or not.

But he rolled them up anyway.

Psychological comfort.

"Let's go."

Chen De picked up his schoolbag.

Qubi jumped onto his shoulder.

"Chen De."

"What now?"

"The way you're walking today is a little strange."

"What's strange about it?"

"Like a penguin."

Chen De stopped walking.

He felt out his gait.

Because his whole body was sore, he really was walking a little stiffly.

He did not dare bend his legs much.

He did not dare swing his arms much either.

His whole body swayed from side to side.

He really did look like a penguin.

"If you walk like that at school too, Jiang Ping will ask you about it again."

Chen De gritted his teeth.

He forced himself to walk normally.

A wave of aching pressure rose from his knees.

Without changing expression, he walked out the door.

Every step was a battle of will against his body's protests.

Qubi lay on his shoulder, its voice very soft.

"How about buying one after all?"

"No."

"It's only three hundred yuan."

"Three hundred today, three hundred tomorrow, three hundred the day after tomorrow. Do you think I'm a money-printing machine?"

"You'll earn it back if you kill one Lesser Calamity a day."

Chen De's steps paused.

He fell silent for two seconds.

"...We'll talk about it when I get back."

Qubi's ears twitched.

It understood.

That "we'll talk about it when I get back" meant, "I'm seriously considering it, but I'd rather die than admit it to your face."