Chen De Is Dead, Burn Paper If You Need Anything

"So, what was I supposed to do now?"

Chen De sprawled on the sofa, his ash-gray hair nearly hanging to the floor.

His phone screen was lit up, displaying his chat window with the homeroom teacher.

He had already written and deleted three drafts.

First version: Teacher, I'm not feeling well and would like to take a few days off.

Too ordinary. What happened after taking a few days off? He would still be a ghostly mess when he went back.

Second version: Teacher, I have a rare...

Rare what? A rare bone-shrinking condition? A rare spontaneous sex-change condition?

Third version: Teacher, I want to drop out.

His finger hovered over the send button for three seconds.

Then he deleted it.

Dropping out was easy. What was he supposed to do afterward?

A seventeen-year-old unemployed drifter whose ID said male but who actually looked like a middle school girl?

He tossed his phone onto the coffee table.

"I've already told enough lies."

Chen De stared at the ceiling.

"Hormonal imbalance, medication side effects, boosting games for money, bad sitting posture—I made up seven lies."

"No matter how much I make up, I can't explain how I shrank ten centimeters overnight and turned into this."

"It was 9.8 centimeters."

"Shut up."

Qubi jumped onto the coffee table and crouched beside the phone.

Chen De's eyes were as empty as a phone that had been cut off for unpaid bills.

"Jiang Ping will ask."

He suddenly spoke.

"He'll definitely ask."

"He can tell when I've changed shampoo just by smelling it. There's no way he won't notice that I suddenly got ten centimeters shorter."

"What about the patches?"

"You said yourself that you couldn't keep covering it up."

Qubi's tail swayed once.

"Then stop covering it up."

Chen De turned his head and stared at Qubi with dead-fish eyes that looked like they had been beaten down by life over and over again.

"That's easy for you to say."

"How am I supposed to go back to school if I stop covering it up?"

"Walk into the classroom with this face and tell the whole class, 'Hi, I'm Chen De'?"

"And then Jiang Ping calls the police on the spot?"

Qubi licked his paw.

"I have another way."

Chen De's dead-fish eyes focused slightly.

"What way?"

"Change your identity."

Qubi's voice became a little more serious.

"Completely take on a new identity."

Three seconds of silence passed.

"Say that again?"

"Change your identity."

"Make 'Chen De' disappear completely, then continue living here under an entirely new identity."

Chen De sat up.

"Are you serious?"

"I am."

"There's no other option?"

"There are, but they're basically all the same."

"Tell me first."

"Sure."

Chen De froze for a moment.

"You're a cat. Where did you learn that word?"

"From surfing the internet."

Qubi flicked his tail and said solemnly.

"Basically, these methods depend on whether you want to keep Chen De's identity."

"If you don't keep it, then you directly change your identity. New name, new household registration, new life—start over from scratch."

"Then the memories of people connected to you will be physically erased to a certain extent."

Chen De's expression changed instantly.

"Wait."

"Physically erased?"

"What does that mean?"

"It means the people related to you will gradually forget that a person named 'Chen De' existed."

"They won't forget everything. It'll slowly fade, like an elementary school classmate they haven't contacted in years."

"They'll remember that such a person existed, but they won't recall the specific details."

Chen De's fingers unconsciously clenched around the sofa cushion.

"...Jiang Ping will forget too?"

"He will."

"To what extent?"

"Probably like this—he'll know he had a pretty close classmate in high school, but he won't remember the name, and the face will be blurry too."

Chen De said nothing.

The silence lasted much longer than usual.

Qubi glanced at him and continued.

"There's also an option where you keep your identity."

"You make 'Chen De' leave for some reason. Studying abroad, transferring schools, moving away—anything works."

"Your old relationships naturally lose contact."

"Then we arrange a brand-new identity for you and have you come back under the pretext of being a transfer student or something."

"It's like changing skins and continuing to live in the same place."

Chen De frowned.

"So that option is—Chen De goes abroad, and then a girl completely unrelated to him just happens to transfer here?"

"That's right."

"Won't Jiang Ping think that's suspicious?"

"Why would he? To him, those two things have absolutely no connection."

"One male classmate went abroad, and one female classmate transferred in. That's perfectly normal at any school."

Chen De's mind raced.

"Will he still remember me afterward?"

"He'll remember Chen De, yes. Because we won't erase his memories."

"He'll always remember that he had a close friend named Chen De who went abroad. He might even occasionally message you to ask how you're doing."

"How would I reply?"

"You can keep replying through Chen De's account. Say things are going well abroad and chat once in a while."

"Over time, it'll naturally fade."

Chen De stared at the phone on the coffee table.

The screen had already gone dark.

"Will the identity be legal?"

"Legal."

"What about household registration? School records?"

"All of it can be arranged."

"How?"

"You don't need to worry about how. This is a system-level matter."

"Just think of it as—the logistical support system for magical girls."

"This logistics system is way too comprehensive. It even makes fake identities."

"It's not a fake identity. It's a real one. Completely legal and able to withstand investigation."

Chen De leaned back against the sofa.

The two options turned over and over in his mind.

The first: disappear completely. Everyone forgot him. Clean and decisive.

But Jiang Ping would forget him.

The second: Chen De "goes abroad," and he returns under another identity.

Jiang Ping would still remember Chen De, but the person in front of him would no longer be the one he knew.

Two options.

One was physically deleting himself from everyone's friend list.

The other was changing alts and lurking nearby.

Both were absurd.

"Qubi."

"Yeah."

"Is there a third option?"

"What option?"

"What if I just come clean to Jiang Ping and tell him I turned into this?"

Qubi's ears twitched.

"That depends on you."

"But think it through."

"How are you planning to explain it to him?"

"'Bro, I signed a contract, became a magical girl, and threw in my sex while I was at it'?"

Chen De fell silent.

"Would he believe you?"

"Would you believe it if you were him?"

"...No."

"Exactly."

"Even if he believed you, do you think he could accept it?"

"He'd definitely think I'd gone crazy."

"Or he'd think you were pranking him."

"Then I transform in front of him?"

"Then he might call an ambulance immediately. For himself."

Chen De covered his face.

Both hands went from his forehead all the way down to his chin.

Then he muttered dully.

"So coming clean is basically a dead end too."

"Not a dead end. Just an express route to a psychiatric hospital."

Chen De lowered his hands and stared blankly at the ceiling for a long while.

The living room was quiet.

Someone outside was walking a dog.

The dog barked happily.

It was a stark contrast to his mood.

"I choose the second one."

His voice was very soft.

"The one where you keep your identity?"

"Yeah."

"Let Chen De go abroad."

"Then I'll keep living here under a new identity."

Qubi tilted his head.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Why?"

Chen De fell silent for two seconds.

"Jiang Ping may be annoying."

"But I don't want him to forget me."

Qubi didn't make a snide remark.

Five seconds passed in silence.

Only then did Chen De realize the atmosphere had become a little too serious.

"Don't look at me like that."

"I just think it'd be a huge loss if people forgot me."

"I still owe someone twenty yuan."

The corners of Qubi's mouth curved up.

"What do you want your new identity to be called?"

"Can't I use my original name?"

"I wouldn't recommend it, because that would forcibly connect the two identities."

"To everyone else, it would look like one male Chen De left, and then a female Chen De transferred in."

"Anyone with sharp eyes could easily spot the problem."

"Fine."

Chen De stared at the ceiling and thought for a long time.

"How about Su Xi?"