Even Satan Has to Get You Tattooed on His Back

The night was deep, and the heavy rain outside the window fell like a pour, dense raindrops beating frantically against the glass.

Lu Xi was lazily nestled in the soft sofa, holding his phone in his hand and listlessly swiping across the screen.

Inadvertently, he brushed across a strange post.

[What is the difference between Jesus himself and a hanging painting of Jesus?]

Lu Xi raised his eyebrows slightly, and after a brief thought, a smile hooked the corner of his mouth.

His fingers tapped swiftly on the screen, leaving a comment:

[A hanging painting only needs one nail, whereas Jesus needs two.]

Unexpectedly, not long after this comment was posted, replies rang out jingling continuously without stop.

"After finishing the comment above, I feel like Satan standing there is like a Buddha."

"Hahaha, my merits are laughed away; when it comes to hell jokes, Satan has to get you tattooed on his back."

"Satan finished reading the comment and found that he had dropped to second place."

Lu Xi looked at these humorous replies and could not help laughing out loud.

The originally somewhat dull night also became relaxed and pleasant because of this small joy.

He was not yet satisfied and intended to flip open the next post to continue searching for fun.

However, his fingers seemed as though they were nailed down, and no matter how much force he used, the phone screen remained completely motionless.

Lu Xi frowned deeply, and a sense of ominous foreboding surged in his heart.

At this moment, he suddenly realized that the surroundings were frighteningly quiet, and the just-now bustling sound of rain had stopped abruptly.

He slowly raised his head, his eyes widening instantly, his pupils contracting sharply.

He saw that the raindrops outside the window were bizarrely suspended in the air, resembling a picture frozen in time, as though time stood still at this moment.

Damn it, is this seeing a ghost?

Just as he was at a loss, a bizarre vortex suddenly erupted from within the phone screen.

Immediately after, a huge black palm lunged fiercely out from the screen, tightly grabbing Lu Xi's arm like an iron clamp and giving it a hard yank.

Before Lu Xi had time to make any reaction, he only felt the world spin, his vision was instantly shrouded in darkness, and his consciousness gradually blurred.

Before he completely lost consciousness, an angry roar came to his ears:

"I even have to get you tattooed on my back?! Then you can be the Lord of Hell yourself!"

I do not know how long had passed, but Lu Xi slowly regained consciousness, his head throbbing with a sharp pain, as though countless needles were pricking it.

He slowly opened his eyes, his gaze filled with confusion.

"Where... Where am I?"

He looked around and was astonished to discover that he was actually suspended in the vastness of outer space.

Beneath his feet was a planet emitting a charming blue light, and that familiar outline of the continents was clearly Earth.

At this moment, a huge space station drifted slowly past him.

Lu Xi widened his eyes and, through the glass of the space station, exchanged blank stares with the two people inside.

One of the blonde-haired, blue-eyed men was full of shock, pointing his finger at Lu Xi outside the window, his voice involuntarily raising an octave.

"My god! John, am I seeing things? How can there be a person outside!"

The man named John was also full of disbelief.

He rubbed his eyes, leaned close to the window to take a careful look, and said in a hurried tone:

"You are not seeing things; I saw it too. This is too incredible! How did he get here?"

"And this is low Earth orbit, there is no air, and the temperature is as low as minus 180 degrees. How could he possibly still be alive?"

Lu Xi outside the window had no time to spare to care about their astonishment at this moment.

He only saw that the space station was getting farther and farther away from him.

The instinct for survival made him subconsciously flail his limbs, wave his hands desperately, and shout loudly:

"Save me! Save me!"

However, in this silent, soundless space, his voice could not get out at all.

Lu Xi could only watch helplessly as the space station gradually turned into a small black dot, ultimately disappearing from his field of view.

He lowered his head in despair, only to discover that the Earth beneath his feet seemed to be growing larger.

"Oh no, the space station didn't fly away; I'm falling down!"

Lu Xi's heart tightened, realizing that he was being pulled by Earth's gravity and plummeting toward Earth at an accelerating speed.

Soon, Lu Xi made contact with the outer perimeter of the atmosphere.

Intense air resistance, like an invisible wall, slammed fiercely into him.

His entire body was instantly ignited by high temperatures, scorching flames enveloped his body, and his clothes rapidly turned to ash under this high heat.

Lu Xi originally thought he was doomed, but strangely enough, although his entire body was burned red, he only felt as though he were taking a warm bath, without feeling the imagined piercing pain.

What on earth is going on? Why don't I feel hot? Could it be... I'm already a goner?

Lu Xi was filled with doubts, his brain in complete chaos, and could only allow his body to continue falling toward Earth.

At S.H.I.E.L.D.'s New York branch, within that heavily guarded research room.

The originally orderly work rhythm was completely disrupted by a burst of piercing alarms.

Lights flickered unsteadily, and red warning lights flashed frantically on the walls.

A young researcher stared dead-set at the surveillance screen, beads of sweat the size of soybeans constantly rolling down his forehead, his fingers typing on the keyboard like a torrential rainstorm.

He discovered a mysterious object falling from the sky and immediately reported upward with a panicked expression:

"Commander! We have detected an unidentified object plummeting toward Earth at high speed. The situation is urgent!"

A moment later, the duty officer, Maria Hill, hurried over.

With a solemn expression, she walked quickly to the console, stared intently at the screen, and asked:

"Do you know what this thing is?"

The researcher, while nervously operating the instruments, replied:

"The satellite's angle is restricted, making it impossible to see the full picture. We only know that this object is not large."

"However, its relationship between speed and mass completely defies the laws of physics, and while passing through the atmosphere, its volume did not shrink due to friction. Therefore, possibilities such as meteorites or shooting stars can basically be ruled out."

Maria's expression instantly turned extremely ugly. Frowning deeply, she pressed further:

"So your meaning is, this gadget is just going to smash straight down like this?"

The researcher did not dare to slack off in the slightest, his fingers continuing to calculate wildly on the keyboard as he spoke in a hurried voice:

"I'm afraid so. According to current data estimations, when it impacts the ground, it will generate approximately 6.7×10¹¹ joules of kinetic energy!"

Maria raised an eyebrow and said somewhat impatiently:

"Speak human! Don't talk to me in these technical terms!"

The researcher hurriedly made a rapid conversion and said loudly:

"It's equivalent to the explosion of a bomb with 140 tons of TNT equivalent. This firepower is enough to destroy an entire city block!"

"Damn it!" Maria could not help cursing. Clearly aware of the severity of the matter, she immediately gave the order:

"Predict the impact point immediately! Absolutely do not let it land in the city center!"

Inside the entire research room, everyone was like machinery wound tight, frantically bustling about.

The indicator lights of various instruments flickered nonstop, and data leaped wildly across the screens.