第25章 咸鱼做饭

Chapter 25

Tang Jingran had a fiery temper, but he did not pick fights easily. Hearing that, he got so angry that he immediately threw down his tools and quit.

"If you're so capable, then you do it! Stop yapping nonsense. Where's the fire? Look for yourself!" Tang Jingran turned around and saw a face smeared like an opera mask. The popular young idol's face was covered in soot, like he had crawled through a stove.

His face felt a little itchy, so he wiped it again, only spreading the black soot more evenly.

"What's wrong with a grown man doing some work?" Zhao Shiyao patted the dust off herself. She felt like she was about to be smoked into cured meat; the Chanel perfume she had sprayed that morning had completely vanished.

She had been an only child at home, pampered by her parents and never made to do anything. Later, she entered film academy and became an award-winning actress without suffering much hardship or being treated badly. Everything after that had gone smoothly for her. How could she have paid attention to this sort of ordinary life?

Tang Jingran viciously threw the fire tongs onto the ground. "I can work, but you can't just do nothing, can you? Why should I be grouped with you? So I can do two people's work by myself?"

This house did not have bottled gas yet. Cooking required an old-fashioned wood-burning stove.

When he first saw it, Tang Jingran had found it pretty interesting and thought he could show off his skills. He assigned tasks with Zhao Shiyao: he would light the fire and cook, while she would fetch water, wash the vegetables, chop them, and so on.

But he had not expected Zhao Shiyao to be incapable of doing anything properly.

The cameras captured everything clearly. There was no running water here yet, and water had to be drawn from the small well in the courtyard. It had one of those hand pumps; all one had to do was press the handle down a few times, and water would come out. It did not take much strength at all.

But Zhao Shiyao either complained that the handle was dirty, or accidentally twisted her ankle and then pitifully complained to Tang Jingran.

"Ma'am, just change out of those high heels." Tang Jingran refused to believe she had come on the show with only one pair of high heels.

In the end, Tang Jingran fetched the water and prepared the vegetables too, because Zhao Shiyao said the water was too cold and would hurt her hands. Picking vegetables would also damage her newly done manicure, so she refused to do it. Tang Jingran had endured all that.

As for the thick smoke that rose while lighting the fire, that was because Zhao Shiyao had gotten the firewood wet with her clumsy hands. The fire would not catch and could only produce black smoke.

Could that be blamed on Tang Jingran? Had he done anything wrong?

Naturally, Zhao Shiyao felt that she had done nothing wrong. "It's not like I didn't do anything. Why are you yelling at me?"

"The hell do you call that work?!"

Tang Jingran was truly furious. He did not hit women, but at that moment, he really wanted to punch the person in front of him. He no longer cared what negative impact this episode's broadcast might have on him. He just wanted to curse.

"You did so little, yet you're acting all high and mighty? You're nothing but a pretty face who got ahead on looks—what are you showing off in front of me for?!"

Compared with Zhao Shiyao, Tang Jingran's identity as a popular idol was indeed awkward. Many people thought he was merely traffic who had coasted through the entertainment industry on his face, and since Tang Jingran was trying to transition his career, he especially hated that.

"You think you're so talented? You only became famous from one movie. What kind of garbage have you acted in since then? You've had too much hyaluronic acid injected these past few years, haven't you? Your face is completely frozen!"

Zhao Shiyao's awards carried real weight, but that was as far as she went. Afterward, afraid of hardship and exhaustion, nearly all the productions she took on were terrible. On those sets, she could comfortably act like an empress dowager.

People had criticized these things in recent years as well. She could not live off the goodwill from Silk Road forever; eventually, it would run out. The female lead remembered by audiences had long since gradually become separated from Zhao Shiyao.

It was only after suddenly realizing that few people were willing to indulge her anymore that Zhao Shiyao came on this show, hoping to stir up nostalgia and solidify her popularity.

Everyone knew it but pretended not to. Now that Tang Jingran had directly exposed it, Zhao Shiyao trembled with rage.

The production crew hurriedly separated the two and soothed them both, stopping the filming for the time being.

This footage was explosive, but how could the production team dare blow up the entertainment industry? Especially with Tang Jingran's fans... Just thinking about it gave them a headache.

In the end, the director said they should call it a day. The firewood was wet anyway, so there was nothing they could do. Xiao Yi and Li Wenchuan's side should be nearly done cooking, so they could go mooch a meal.

The two were so angry that they had nearly forgotten they were already starving.

Zhao Shiyao knew they could not possibly rearrange the groups anytime soon. She had not yet achieved her purpose for coming on the show, so she endured it. "But I refuse to eat with him."

"You think I want to eat with you, ma'am? I'm afraid my face will freeze." Tang Jingran sneered.

In order to soothe the guests' emotions, the director's team did not force the issue. The two temporarily went their separate ways.

Zhao Shiyao went to find Xiao Yi, while Tang Jingran went to find Li Wenchuan.

Xiao Yi's side naturally had nothing to worry about, but Li Wenchuan's side was another matter.

Li "Qingming Emperor" "Never Done Any Work" Wenchuan had imperial chefs in his previous life. When traveling, he had dry rations and thick enough skin to mooch meals. After transmigrating, he had takeout. Now, he stared at the bottled gas with a face full of worry.

Jiang "Regent Minister" "Controlled the Court but Never Cooked" Hansheng had eaten at countless households as a child, drifted through society after growing up, and had private chefs once he rose to the pinnacle of power. After transmigrating, he had a maid at home. He tried to light the fire once, successfully burning himself, and immediately shut down.

"Wenchuan, Brother Jiang, have you eaten yet?" Tang Jingran walked over with a grin, as if nothing had happened.

"Why are you here?" Li Wenchuan turned back.

"I can't cook. The director said I could mooch a meal, so I figured you probably wouldn't mind one more bowl of rice and came over."

Seeing that he did not mention Zhao Shiyao, Li Wenchuan and Jiang Hansheng understood what had happened and did not ask further.

"We haven't managed it yet. Neither of us knows how to use bottled gas." Jiang Hansheng said awkwardly.

It was already late, and night had fallen. Tang Jingran said he knew how; he sometimes cooked himself noodles at home, so he had far more experience than those two.

But after several tries, they could only raise a tiny flicker of flame. Before it could even glow, it vanished in an instant.

Eventually, they could not produce even a spark. Tang Jingran fiddled with it a few times, the corner of his mouth twitching. "It's probably out of gas..."

Damn it, where were they supposed to replace a gas tank in the middle of the night? Were they meant to starve to death?

For certain reasons, they really did not want to go to Xiao Yi's side either.

At that moment, Li Wenchuan spotted a basket of radishes in the corner and tentatively suggested, "How about... we have cold radish salad tonight?"

"..."

This was too miserable...

"Oh, isn't that Little Li? You haven't eaten yet?"

It was the old man with the ox cart who had given them a ride back to the village that afternoon. Fanning himself with a palm-leaf fan, he spoke leisurely.

"The bottled gas ran out," Li Wenchuan explained.

The old man waved his fan. "That's easy, that's easy. Come eat at my house. I had no idea you were staying here."

After driving his ox cart back to the village, the old man had gone to tend to his fields. He had not expected that those young people he met that afternoon lived near his home. They were so skinny and slight—how could they go hungry for another night? It was simply pitiful.

Li Wenchuan had explained this point several times already. They needed to maintain this kind of figure.

But the old man would not hear it. He said such a small frame could not even carry a shoulder pole, and reminded Li Wenchuan to sit tight so that the jolting ox cart would not shake him apart.

Li Wenchuan truly had nothing to say. He could only accept this sudden image of himself as someone very weak.

The old man lived only with his wife. Their children had left the village to work years ago, settled down elsewhere, and rarely came back now.

"It smells so good." Tang Jingran eagerly sat down.

"Old woman, make a little more," the old man called out. He had thought only two people would be eating, but now three young men had arrived. They had to add more food.

The old woman answered with a smile and went back to work.

The villagers were all simple and hospitable. Even though Li Wenchuan and the others were strangers, no one did anything inappropriate. The atmosphere of the whole village felt especially comfortable.

Li Wenchuan looked at the one soup and one dish on the table. They were both mushrooms. "Termite mushrooms. I haven't had these in a long time."

The pot of soup was almost entirely filled with termite mushrooms, with more mushrooms than meat. Li Wenchuan felt that this was not soup at all, but handfuls of money.

But the old man did not care in the slightest. "You like them? Take some back later."

"How could I?"

"What's wrong with that? We have loads of this stuff here. We can only dry it and store it, but we still can't finish it all. Sometimes it just goes moldy." The old man sighed.

Before long, the old woman brought over the dishes and urged everyone to eat quickly.

After a tiring day, everyone finally had a hot meal late in the night. Having obtained worthwhile footage, the production team began editing. Today's content could be aired the following evening.