When Three Men Get Together, Things Often Take a Hard-to-Control Turn / Liu Bang: Second Brother, Take a Concubine Home and Put Some Pressure on Your Sister-in-Law

Bai Ming's words nearly made Fusu choke to death, but after considering them carefully, Fusu felt there was not much wrong with them. After all, the Confucian knowledge Supreme Master of Taiji had taught him was somewhat different from what Confucian scholars like Chunyu Yue taught.

"Could it be that they took the wrong path?"

"They never intended to take the proper path from the start." Bai Ming sighed. "Tell me, if you had a method for eternal life, would you use it on yourself or on someone unrelated to you?"

"If it were someone unrelated to me, then naturally I would use it on myself." After answering, Fusu seemed to understand something. "Master, are you saying those Confucian scholars and fangshi are all frauds seeking fame?"

"Not entirely. Lu Sheng and Xu Fu truly had some skill, and methods of immortality really did exist. It was simply that your father, the Emperor, was not fated to possess such a thing, and Xu Fu and Lu Sheng were likewise not fated for immortality."

Bai Ming waved his hand and walked toward the courtyard gate, with Fusu following close behind. Bai Ming suddenly stopped, turned to look at Fusu, rummaged through his robes for a while, then tossed him a thin booklet. "One more thing. You originally weren't fated for immortality either, but you happened to meet your master. Consider it a reward for usually being gentle as jade and accumulating virtue through good deeds. Go study this thing yourself. Don't come bother your master lately. I'm thinking something over."

Fusu looked closely and found that the booklet had no definite title. It merely bore the words: Observe Heaven's Timing, Know Life's Numbers. He agreed.

You began staring at Consort Yu again. Today, Consort Yu was not silent.

Consort Yu asked, "Why are you staring at me again?"

Without hesitation, Bai Ming replied, "Because you're beautiful. I want to know what you're thinking."

Consort Yu cursed inwardly, then rebuked him with a blush, "Shameless."

Hearing that, Bai Ming merely shook his head. "When I first met you, the clothes you wore didn't exactly suggest much sense of shame either."

Consort Yu fell silent again, but you knew she was not angry. She was merely reminding you that Zhao Gao harbored wolfish ambitions and needed to be guarded against. You nodded in agreement.

Fusu learned the Art of Life and Death Calculation. He could calculate a person's original fate of life and death, then alter it to a certain degree through intervention. Thus, Fusu calculated his original destiny, and his thoughts became clear.

Fusu inherited an inferior version of your trait and gained the characteristic "Pleasure Seeker." There was a certain chance that Fusu would pull stunts just like you.

In 215 BC, the First Emperor summoned Meng Tian and ordered him to lead an army of three hundred thousand north to attack the Xiongnu. War was about to rise in Great Qin. Having nothing better to do, you requested leave from the First Emperor and planned to travel the mountains and rivers with Consort Yu. Before departing, you left Fusu a military treatise and later wrote down an admonition: destroy, then rebuild.

The First Emperor knew that you and Consort Yu were true immortals. Though he understood the implications for his own desire for longevity, he had no intention of asking for help. Thus, he solemnly saw you and Consort Yu off and personally wrote two edicts for you.

One edict allowed you to freely mobilize soldiers wherever you went, ordering civil and military officials in every commandery and county that anyone oppressing the people could be executed without first reporting to the throne.

The other edict stated that even if Great Qin could not be preserved, the Ying clan of Zhao must still endure into later generations.

Talent: Seven Killings, encountering an emperor transforms into authority. Complete.

The fate of punishment and slaughter, governing life and death.

You were deeply moved. After leaving, while the First Emperor rested at night, you placed a pill beside him and wrote its method of use, effects, and precautions on a note.

One Rejuvenation and Soul Return Pill. If taken before death, it would grant another lifetime. The body would revert to the state just before its physical functions reached their peak, but the user had to stay far away from the imperial throne and the dynasty's fortune. Great Qin had only so much fate to begin with; trying to bear it again would only lead to sudden death.

After waking and seeing your handwriting, the First Emperor was filled with complicated emotions. Yet an idea that would never have existed in normal history began circling in his mind. This Soul Return Pill could allow him to truly return from death once. But if he sent his precious eldest son Fusu to train under Meng Tian, then faked his own death...

The First Emperor intended to pull off something huge.

After hearing that you had requested leave, Zhao Gao was overjoyed. He was also somewhat relieved that he had never found the chance to trouble you. Otherwise, the grass on his grave would now be as tall as that on the graves of those great clans.

Deep in the clouds, where none knew the way, Consort Yu let out a long breath. Leaving human society had unexpectedly made her somewhat sentimental.

Consort Yu asked, "What are you going to do next?"

Bai Ming said, "I've had enough of being an official. Next, I'll wait for rebellion. From now on, don't call me Bai Ming or Bai Qing. Just call me Xiang Yu."

Consort Yu: "?"

Talent: Cyclical Outsider, activated.

You were about to pull off something huge. In your view, history could still end with the Han dynasty being established, but the process could not be limited to the original historical trajectory. What would be the point if history simply followed its original path? Let this master give his fine disciple Fusu a grand graduation examination.

However, your fine disciple was even faster than you and the First Emperor at pulling stunts.

In the middle of 215 BC, Fusu submitted a memorial to the First Emperor, demanding that the current chaos be rectified and that Confucian scholars and fangshi undergo corresponding examinations. The First Emperor readily agreed.

Before Xu Fu, Lu Sheng, and the others could return from overseas, and before Lu Sheng and Hou Sheng could mock the First Emperor, Fusu carried out a burning of books and burying of Confucian scholars behind the First Emperor's back. The First Emperor then sent Fusu to join Meng Tian in resisting the Xiongnu in the north.

Zhao Gao's ambitions greatly increased.

The First Emperor left behind an imperial testament for himself, faked his death, hid in Wang Jian's residence, and watched Great Qin descend into chaos.

When the news reached you, you took a moment to process it and realized that both father and son were pulling stunts. So you began your own stunt as well.

Using the two edicts, you brought Consort Yu directly to Pei County and became its magistrate. Liu Ji was serving there as the Sishui Pavilion Chief. You then hosted a private banquet for Liu Ji. He had once performed corvée labor in Xianyang, where he freely toured the city, glimpsed the First Emperor, and also saw you. He had heard your illustrious name.

You drank and made merry with Liu Ji. After Liu Ji got drunk, he introduced you to Fan Kuai, the famous powerful butcher of Pei County. Once Fan Kuai joined the banquet and got drunk as well, you led Liu Ji and Fan Kuai to lease a peach orchard and perform the Oath of Brotherhood in the Peach Orchard. Consort Yu was treated as the witness and watched the entire scene.

Three Men Together Often Caused Things to Go in Uncontrollable Directions

The idle knight-errant Liu Bang became the eldest brother. The arrogant, self-important Xiang Yu—namely, you—became the second brother. Fan Kuai, the butcher of Pei County, became the third brother.

Liu Bang did not understand why you insisted on raising him to the position of eldest brother, but after your repeated demands, he still agreed.

Consort Yu, sitting beside them, could not understand what mischief you were up to. However, considering that the First Emperor, who now possessed a Soul Return Pill, could die once more, and your flashy disciple could even stage a burning of books and burying of Confucian scholars, she suddenly felt that your abrupt decision to drag people into sworn brotherhood was perfectly normal.

After you, Liu Bang, and Fan Kuai swore brotherhood in the peach orchard, Xianyang of Great Qin was in turmoil.

The First Emperor was quite prolific in producing children. He had thirty-three children in total: twenty-three sons and ten daughters.

Fusu was currently away, while the First Emperor's "imperial testament" deliberately failed to name a successor. For a time, all twenty-two of his other sons besides Fusu began entertaining their own ambitions.

News of the First Emperor's death quickly spread. Meng Tian, who was at the northern frontier, hurried into Fusu's tent and delivered the news.

Fusu calculated with his fingers and wore a teasing expression. His father, the Emperor, was faking his death for amusement. He immediately said to Meng Tian, "General Meng, there is no need to concern yourself with this. Father is safe and sound; he is merely faking his death for fun. Let us continue studying the Taigong military strategies my master left behind."

"Prince, is His Majesty truly all right?"

Meng Tian was full of worry. Fusu nodded. "Of course he is. Father sent me to this northern frontier for two reasons: first, to temper myself in the army; second, to teach me military strategy and tactics. General Meng and I command three hundred thousand troops. So what if the court truly rebels? And what if three hundred thousand troops cannot suppress it? When all else fails, I'll invite my master. If Master does not come, I'll invite my martial uncles and martial elders. There will always be a way."

"True... Real Person Bai's spells are unfathomable, and his arts of alchemy are unmatched in the world."

Meng Tian nodded, then looked at Fusu's valiant and flamboyant attire and sighed. "It is only a pity that the Real Person dislikes associating with others. Otherwise, I truly would like to ask him for a set."

Elsewhere, the remaining forces who dreamed of restoring the chaotic wars of the Spring and Autumn and Warring States periods began quietly gathering throughout Great Qin.

In a dark secret chamber, several nobles gathered together. One former Yan noble asked, "Could that tyrant truly be dead?"

"Not necessarily." A Han noble asked, "Zifang, what do you think?"

The refined man called Zifang shook his head and said softly, "We should wait for the scouts to return with news. Three years ago, I originally intended to assassinate that tyrant at Bolangsha, but my master warned me not to attempt it, or I would die and vanish from the world. Not to mention that Prince Fusu was originally a Confucian disciple, yet has now become someone who combines Yin-Yang teachings, Daoism, Legalism, Confucianism, and military strategy. In my opinion, there must be an expert in Xianyang Palace stirring the winds and clouds."

"You're too timid and overcautious." A hot-tempered Chu noble immediately cursed. "Zhang Liang fears battle before it even begins and destroys our morale."

Using his personal name without addressing him properly was clearly an insult, but Zhang Liang merely shook his head.

As a disciple of Chisongzi and Huangshi Gong, he knew some of the inside story.

For immortals, observing the past and future within the river of time—the Star River—was entirely normal. Thus, Zhang Liang's masters had repeatedly warned him not to provoke Bai Ming. Otherwise, even announcing the names of Chisongzi and Huangshi Gong would not save him.

That was why Zhang Liang had not gone to Bolangsha to assassinate the King of Qin in 218 BC.

Among these remaining nobles and retainers, some were disciples of Guiguzi, while others were Yin-Yang practitioners. They also knew some of the inside story, but they could not speak of it.

Most nobles, however, had only a superficial understanding of Daoist arts, occult arts, and other mysterious matters, if they knew anything at all. Thus, they could only think Zhang Liang was undermining their morale.

After the Chu noble finished cursing, Zhang Liang finally said, "Whatever makes you happy. Since you're so impressive, why don't you charge into those three hundred thousand troops alone and kill your way in and out seven times? Why are you barking here like a dog whose tail was stepped on and whose legs were broken?"

At some point, the Thought Key Patterns had acquired a few sarcastic, disgusting insults, along with an annotation: "This Daoist master won't curse or hit you. This Daoist master's Dao heart is unstable."

Those with somewhat higher authority, such as Zhang Liang, could easily access this information. The person who had uploaded those insulting words was unmistakably Bai Ming, the man who made Zhang Liang feel deeply uneasy.

Watching the Chu noble's face flush crimson in an instant, Zhang Liang thought, Leaving aside everything else, this gentleman's ability to insult people without using profanity is truly formidable.

Zhang Liang then rose and walked toward the chamber's exit, leaving only his words echoing inside. "The Master said rotten wood cannot be carved. Sometimes I truly worry for your parents... Ah, pardon me. I forgot. When your parents were killed by that tyrant's son, you were still drowning in the arms of dancing girls. Being unfilial would be one thing, but your brain is not functioning very well either."

The Chu noble immediately kicked the tables and chairs in the secret chamber with a loud thud, intending to fight Zhang Liang to the death. Yet Zhang Liang turned and ran.

With Zhang Liang's intelligence, he had already guessed that Bai Ming was observing the situation here in real time while teaching him on the spot how to attack someone's parents.

Zhang Liang intended to seek out Bai Ming. After leaving the secret chamber, he said, "Real Person Bai, this junior pays his respects. May I ask where I may find you?"

A faint voice drifted over on the wind, and Zhang Liang immediately rushed toward Pei County.

While Zhang Liang raced toward Pei County, you were still pulling stunts.

Pei County was a place where talented people emerged in great numbers. Liu Ji was here, as were Xiao He, Cao Can, and Fan Kuai.

Liu Ji was a forthright man. Ever since Bai Ming arrived and became sworn brothers with him, Liu Ji had treated Bai Ming and Fan Kuai with complete sincerity. The three were inseparable, to the point that Consort Yu, who had always followed Bai Ming, felt somewhat superfluous.

By coincidence, the Lü family of Shanfu moved to Pei County to escape their enemies. Their family head, Lord Lu, had been friends with the former magistrate of Pei County. Thus, when the local heroes and officials heard that the former magistrate had an honored guest, they all went to offer congratulations.

Lord Lu had three daughters and two sons: his eldest son Lü Ze, second son Lü Shizhi, eldest daughter Lu Changxu, second daughter Lü Zhi, and third daughter Lu Xu.

Through a series of coincidences, Liu Bang met the second daughter, Lü Zhi, and afterward spent every day distracted and absent-minded.

One day, Consort Yu sat nearby drinking tea, quietly watching the three grown men gather around a low table with serious expressions. Three men together often caused things to go in uncontrollable directions, so Consort Yu was genuinely worried about what outrageous thing these three brothers were about to do.

"Second Brother, Third Brother, I saw a woman. Ever since seeing her, whenever I close my eyes, I see her face. Thinking it over, Second Brother, you are a man who has been married before. Do you know what your elder brother is feeling?"

Liu Bang spoke earnestly. Bai Ming sighed. "Eldest Brother has a sickness of the heart. As they say, the medicine for a sickness of the heart must be found in the heart."

Fan Kuai shouted, "I know too!"

The words gave Consort Yu goosebumps all over. These three were definitely about to pull something. The three brothers of the Peach Orchard had set their sights on the newly arrived Lü family.

Regarding Surnames

Let me protect myself first. I took the postgraduate entrance examination for Chinese literature. Pre-Qin culture was unavoidable, and I specifically studied it.

Let's use the First Emperor directly as an example.

The Grand Historian said: "The ancestors of Qin bore the Ying surname. Later, after being enfeoffed, they took their states as clan names. There were the Xu, Tan, Ju, Zhongli, Yunyan, Tuqiu, Jiangliang, Huang, Jiang, Xiuyu, Baiming, Feilian, and Qin clans. But because the ancestor Zaofu of Qin was enfeoffed at the city of Zhao, they became the Zhao clan."

The Ying surname and Zhao clan did not originate merely from saying his mother was Lady Zhao.

In Records of the Grand Historian, Volume Five, Basic Annals of Qin: "Duke Mu enfeoffed Zaofu at the city of Zhao, and Zaofu's descendants thereafter became the Zhao clan." It also says: "Marquis Shen then told King Xiao: 'In former times, a daughter of my ancestor from Mount Li became the wife of Rong Xuxuan and bore Zhongjue. Because of kinship, he returned to Zhou and guarded the western frontier. The western frontier was harmonious because of this relationship. Now I have again married a daughter to Dalou, and she bore the legitimate son Cheng. Shen and Luo have formed a double marriage alliance, and all the Western Rong submit. This is why you are king. Your Majesty should consider it.' Thus King Xiao said: 'In former times, Boyi managed livestock for Shun. The livestock multiplied greatly, so he was granted land and given the surname Ying. Now his descendants also breed horses for me. I shall divide land for them as dependent lords.' He granted him the settlement of Qin, allowing him to continue the sacrifices of the Ying clan, and he was called Qin Ying. Nor did he abolish the daughter of Marquis Shen who was the legitimate wife of Luo, thereby maintaining peace with the Western Rong."

During the pre-Qin era, women were called by surnames and men by clan names. In Comprehensive Records, Volume Twenty-Five, Outline of Clans, Part One: "Before the Three Dynasties, surnames and clan names were divided into two. Men used clan names, women used surnames. Clan names distinguished rank: the noble had clan names, while the lowly had names but no clan names."

When the First Emperor was born, his father was not yet the heir of Qin. Therefore, the First Emperor had the Ying surname and Zhao clan name; he was called Zhao Zheng or Zhao Zheng. Otherwise, why the hell would the Western Han's Book of Zhao Zheng not be called the Book of Ying Zheng?

According to the rites of the Eastern Zhou, the King of Qin was the main lineage of Qin. The ruling clan of a feudal state did not use clan names, but were directly addressed by title plus personal name. The ruler was called a certain king or duke plus his name, while the ruler's sons were called prince plus their names. That was why historical records say "Prince Fusu" and "Prince Huhai." The ruler's grandsons were called grandson of the duke plus their names. Only after the First Emperor's father acknowledged Lady Huayang as his mother, changed his name to Chu—some say Zichu—and became King Zhuangxiang of Qin was there a Prince Zheng.

Also, regarding the person with whom I discussed history in Chapter Ninety-Two, after thinking it over, I still have to say this: Huhai's surname was not Hu.

Only those more than three generations removed from the ruler took clan names. Those within three generations of the ruler did not need clan names. In addition, after the First Emperor unified the six states and ended the Warring States period, a series of reforms caused surnames and clan names to merge. Thus, the excavated texts concerning her descendants all identify them as having the Ying surname and Zhao clan name, named Fusu and Huhai.

Gu Yanwu, Collected Works of Tinglin, Volume One, On Surnames: "Men use clan names, women use surnames. Clan names may change after repeated transmission, while surnames do not change for tens of thousands of years."

Surnames and clan names were formally mixed only in the Han dynasty. As for distinguishing between the Ying surname and Qin clan, the Ying surname and Zhao clan, or even the Qin and Zhao clans, I do not wish to say much. The Grand Historian mixed them up; that is not my problem.

But if one examines it carefully, the principle should follow Comprehensive Records, Volume Twenty-Six, Outline of Clans, Part Two: "When a state perishes, its people take the state as their clan name." Considering that Liang Yusheng's Doubts on the Records of the Grand Historian, Volume Four, records, "Qin and Zhao shared the same ancestor, and later generations could perhaps call them interchangeably," the Ying surname with Qin clan and the Ying surname with Zhao clan were actually not very different. Ying Zheng, Zhao Zheng, and Qin Zheng all appeared in historical records.

However,

A surname traced the origin of one's ancestors; a clan name distinguished the branches into which their descendants divided.

Thus, the First Emperor's ancestors bore the Ying surname, and his fief was in Zhao territory, so he was of the Zhao clan. How could he possibly be of the Ying clan?

To further support the view that Qin was the Zhao clan, Records of the Grand Historian, Biographies of Li Yiji and Lu Jia, says: "Qin employed unchanging criminal law and in the end destroyed the Zhao clan." The Biographies of the Five Sons of Emperor Wu says: "Chen She called out in the marshes of Chu, close favorites rebelled, internal and external uprisings rose together, and the Zhao clan had no cooking fires." That is all I will say. I do not want to argue over it anymore. Next time, I will not debate it.

Liu Bang: Second Brother, Take a concubine Home and Put Some Pressure on Your Sister-in-Law

You brought Liu Bang and Fan Kuai with you to Lord Lu's housewarming banquet.

When it came time to present gift money, you had no vulgar gold or silver on hand. Liu Bang had not a single coin, and while Fan Kuai had some family wealth, he did not have it with him.

You also heard that Xiao He was helping collect gift money as the steward, arranging for those whose gifts were less than one thousand gold to sit below the hall. The three brothers exchanged looks and formed a plan. They decided to bluff their way through while giving Xiao He, who was taking private work, a little pressure.

Liu Bang: "Liu Ji, gift money: ten thousand."

Bai Ming: "Xiang Yu, gift money: eight thousand."

Fan Kuai: "Fan Kuai, gift money: eight thousand."

The three voices entered the hall, leaving Lord Lu utterly shocked. He hurriedly rose and went to the entrance to welcome them.

Lord Lu had always enjoyed reading faces. When he saw the faces of you three brothers, he held you in great esteem and personally led you to seats in the hall. The three of you boldly sat in the seats of honor without any intention of yielding.

"Lord Lu, Liu Ji has always been full of grand words and rarely accomplishes anything. Ever since this new magistrate arrived, no one knows why, but he has become utterly taken with Liu Ji and sworn brotherhood with him. As for Fan Kuai, he is Pei County's famous butcher."

After hearing of the matter, Xiao He immediately introduced them to Lord Lu, but Lord Lu did not care in the slightest.

After hearing Xiao He's words, Liu Bang took the opportunity to tease the other guests. Seeing the two burly men behind Liu Bang, the other guests dared not speak despite their anger. Bai Ming walked over to Xiao He. "Chief Clerk Xiao, gossiping behind people's backs is quite entertaining, isn't it?"

Bai Ming's single sentence made Xiao He's expression turn ugly.

Even though Xiao He was the chief clerk and a powerful local official in the county, the man before him held the First Emperor's edict. Even if the First Emperor was dead, his lingering authority could still influence matters for around ten years. With one word, the man before him could take his life.

Moreover, rumors said that although the man before him had left the Great Qin court, the First Emperor had not stripped him of his posts as court sorcerer and Protector Army Commandant. Combined with the two edicts in his possession, he could raise troops and march into Xianyang at any time to rescue the emperor and purge the court.