Bai Causes Havoc in the Underworld / All Four Heavenly Emperors and Five Elders Love a Good Show

"Wonderful! The successor I've been waiting for has finally arrived! Immortal Master, from this moment on, you are no longer a court sorcerer. And this one... Liu Bang, right? Great Qin is yours now. I'm going off to seek immortality and the Dao!"

The First Emperor held Bai Ming in his left hand and Liu Bang in his right, looking utterly eager. "And that warrior Fan Kuai, come with me as well."

This... was the First Emperor?

Zhang Liang found it hardest to accept.

This tyrant who had let the world fall into chaos and destroyed the Six States... had no dignity at all? Then what had been the point of his anti-Qin rebellion?

After dealing with Huhai's twenty-one brothers, Gongzi Gao walked over to Zhang Liang and patted his shoulder. "Master once said that people live to find peace of mind. Tai Xuan's rebellion was merely to avenge his family, wasn't it?"

Zhang Liang held the Daoist title Tai Xuan Disciple, so Gongzi Gao, as one of the Three-Seven Youths, did not call him Zifang, but Tai Xuan.

"Y-yeah... probably?"

Zhang Liang was not sure.

While Zhang Liang doubted himself, Liu Bang also fell into deep self-doubt. Could it be that the throne sealed away something terrifying? Otherwise, why did the First Emperor not want to continue being emperor?

"Liu Bang, listen to me. I prepared a set of imperial robes that suits you long ago. Come, try them on and see whether they fit."

The First Emperor's eager demeanor made Liu Bang deeply uneasy. Seeing that Liu Bang said nothing, the First Emperor continued, "Have you decided on a dynasty name? Right, even if I am following the example of the Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors by yielding the throne to you, you cannot write nonsense about me in the history books. Also, even though you have become the new emperor, there is still the matter of the family genealogy..."

The First Emperor kept chattering at Liu Bang about this and that, making Liu Bang feel as though he were dreaming. He had never expected the First Emperor to have prepared everything so thoroughly for him.

Meanwhile, you were in Great Qin's prison, having some fun with Zhao Gao.

"Chief Secretary, it has been over a year. You look far more haggard."

The weathered Zhao Gao in the cell glanced at Bai Ming outside and said, "Xiang Yu... no, should I call you Xiang Yu or Bai Ming?"

"Both are my names." Bai Ming sighed. "You bastard are rotten to the core. I prepared something for you. I hope you like it."

Zhao Gao watched Bai Ming in silence, with almost no expression on his face. Only when Bai Ming took out the White Dragon's Root did terror appear on Zhao Gao's face.

Talent activated in the name of "Brando."

"Hehehe, Zhao Gao!" Bai Ming laughed like a pervert. "When you showed hostility toward me before, I remembered it. So no matter what, I could never forget you. I specially found several men who enjoy the company of other men. I hope you enjoy my hospitality."

"You can't do this! You can't do this!"

Zhao Gao screamed in terror. "You bastard, even if I become a vengeful ghost, I won't let you go! How many people have you done this to?!"

"Heh—A vengeful ghost?" Bai Ming sneered. "If you become one, I welcome you to come find me. As for how many people I've done this to, do you remember how many flatbreads you've eaten?"

Four men highly skilled in the art of male pleasure attended Zhao Gao for a year. In 213 BCE, unable to endure the humiliation any longer, he was stuffed with the White Dragon's Root and brutally impaled to death.

Zhao Gao died, Huhai was killed by his twenty-one brothers, and during that time, you specifically accompanied the First Emperor to Kunlun Mountain. The First Emperor got his wish and became an immortal, even meeting the Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors. Meanwhile, the Han Dynasty was successfully founded many years ahead of schedule.

But history had returned to its normal course from a subtle angle—or had it?

Old Bai Wreaks Havoc in the Underworld

After Liu Bang became emperor, neither you nor Fan Kuai grew estranged from him. However, the conflict between Liu Bang and Lü Zhi became apparent at this time.

Lü Zhi had always been an ambitious woman—regardless of whether she had suffered alongside Liu Bang. Thus, after Liu Bang successfully became emperor, she began to grow restless.

After Liu Bang ascended, he clearly sensed Lü Zhi's ambitions. This woman wanted to usurp the Han Dynasty, and displeasure slowly spread through Liu Bang's heart.

Because of Lü Zhi's ambitious actions, Liu Bang even came to dislike her one-year-old child, Liu Ying.

Thus, Liu Bang put his astonishing wisdom to use and decided, like the First Emperor, to delay naming a Crown Prince. Since Fan Kuai had a loose tongue, Liu Bang did not tell him about it, informing only you and asking for your opinion.

In Liu Bang's eyes, Lu Changxu was your concubine, while Lu Xu was Fan Kuai's wife. Discussing it with you was better than discussing it with Fan Kuai, who could not keep a secret to save his life.

You told Liu Bang that there was no need to rush this matter for now, but that you and Fan Kuai would always stand on his side. The immediate priority should be to suppress the remaining rebel armies. Liu Bang readily agreed.

In 212 BCE, the realm was completely pacified, ten years earlier than Liu Bang's original historical ascension as emperor.

Liu Bang then began rewarding merit. You told him that you wanted neither a kingship nor land, and certainly no official post. A few properties and land deeds would be enough. Liu Bang refused, but after your repeated insistence, he compromised. He granted you a kingship and lands but gave you no official post. You agreed.

Liu Bang named you King of Chu, allowing you to enter the palace freely without attending court, or to attend court wearing a sword and shoes, bowing to no emperor. Fan Kuai was likewise exempt from bowing before the emperor, though Liu Bang did not dare allow Fan Kuai to attend court armed and shod. That reckless brute might genuinely hack the ministers to pieces on the spot.

During the distribution of rewards, you, Fan Kuai, Lu Wan, Zhang Liang, Xiao He, and Cao Can received first-class merit, as you had been the founding employees of the Han Dynasty group. However, neither you nor Zhang Liang aspired to court politics, so you chose to stay on the sidelines.

Before leaving, you advised Liu Bang that all kings of different surnames should be treated as you were. Not everyone's descendants would remain united in spirit despite differing bloodlines like the descendants of your group. Liu Bang gladly agreed.

With the realm newly settled, Liu Bang retained most of Qin's military officers and a small portion of its civil officials. But this no longer had anything to do with you. You ran off with Consort Yu and Lu Changxu, only sending Liu Bang messages every now and then.

Xu Fu returned from her voyage across the sea, looking haggard. When she saw you again, she no longer possessed her former vitality.

"Chief, I'm back."

Xu Fu spoke weakly, while Lu Changxu quietly brewed tea beside her. Bai Ming looked at the exhausted Xu Fu and said, "You're sick."

"Mm."

Xu Fu had devoted herself to the elixir of immortality and medicine capable of killing the immortal. She spoke listlessly. "But... I did not fail my mission. I made it to Fusang, then made it back."

Bai Ming replied calmly, "You should rest and recover."

"I know..." Xu Fu glanced at Lu Changxu beside her and said, "Lady Yu..."

Bai Ming said, "I know what you want to say. Time has not synchronized yet. In a sense, her suffering was brought upon herself—there is no shortage of immortals on this land, yet she refused to associate with them."

"...Just like me."

"No, you only look gloomy on the outside. Consort Yu is nowhere near as talkative as you." Bai Ming snarked. "Go rest already. Or do you want to rest here with me?"

Xu Fu's face immediately reddened, and she hurriedly refused. "N-no! That won't be necessary!"

Xu Fu went to rest.

Logically speaking, Xu Fu only had two years left to live, so you struggled over whether to disrupt life and death itself and let this alchemist girl—who claimed to be Consort Yu's attendant but spent most of her time by your side—survive.

You decided to disrupt the course of history. After all, this was not your first time doing so. It was merely the life and death of one person, or perhaps a few.

After speaking with Consort Yu for a while, you left home and headed for Mount Tai.

You went to seek the immortals who governed life and death, asking them to alter several people's lifespans. But they said it would be very difficult. As the saying went, greed was never satisfied; the benefits they demanded far exceeded the value of what you wanted done.

Talent: Seven Killings, Breaker of Armies activated.

Talent activated in the name of "Brando."

You thought that if it was so difficult, then there was no need to do it. But you still intended to achieve your goal, so you chose to fight.

You fought Bingling Gong, Righteous God of Three Mountains, and Huang Tianhua, Crown Prince of Mount Tai. You won.

You fought Huang Feihu, the Benevolent Sage Emperor of Mount Tai. You won.

You fought Azure Emperor Taihao. You were covered in wounds, but you won.

You fought Jin Hongshi. Your injuries worsened, but you won.

You rested briefly. You were covered in wounds.

You fought Yan Emperor, the Great Emperor of Fengdu Underworld. Your injuries worsened, but you feared nothing.

After a brief recovery, you changed Xu Fu's lifespan. As for Lu Changxu, though she was your concubine, she had no intention of pursuing immortality. You had received that answer when you and Consort Yu showed her the other side of the world. Still, a day as husband and wife brought a hundred days of grace, so you arranged matters for her next several lives within reincarnation. Yet some things still needed to be settled, which meant you had to make another trip to Heaven.

After a brief rest, you ascended from the Underworld to the Heavenly Court. Upon hearing that you had wreaked havoc in the Underworld, the gods of Heaven believed you had come with hostile intentions.

Taigong Wang tried to stop you, but you set his clothes on fire, seized his God-Slaying Whip, and continued ascending on your own. You charged in through the Southern Heavenly Gate.

Taigong Wang knew that you came from the future and that you were his junior disciple, so in the end, he did nothing.

The seventy-two Earthly Fiend Stars and thirty-six Heavenly Gang Stars of the Dipper Division, a total of one hundred and eight Star Lords, along with the Giant Spirit God, blocked your path. You sent them flying in all directions with the God-Slaying Whip in your left hand and the Jade Purity Supreme Brick in your right.

Your injuries worsened.

You found Star of Heavenly Joy, Zishou. After explaining what you wanted, Zishou agreed, and you left.

The heavenly soldiers and generals came to capture you, only to be scattered by your heavily injured self. You fought your way out. The Heavenly Emperor had no intention of intervening—partly because of your identity, and partly because the gods had indeed grown too complacent. This was a good opportunity to drill them.

Seeing that the Heavenly Court had plenty of soldiers and generals, you headed straight for Daluo Heaven, Pure Clarity Immortal Realm. As someone skilled in alchemy, artifact forging, and combat techniques, you were naturally Lord Lao's disciple.

Or rather, all Three Pure Ones were your masters. You simply studied primarily under Yuqing Yuanshi Tianzun.

You whirled into the Pure Clarity Immortal Realm. Grand Master Xuandu, the Emperor of the Five Manifestations Spirit Temple, was greatly shocked when he saw you. But you said nothing, merely swept away all the pills this unfortunate senior brother had refined, then inhaled an entire furnace of Grand Master Xuandu's pills like a storm, before sweeping away all the pills Lord Lao had finished refining and set aside. Grand Master Xuandu stood dumbfounded. With a slight calculation, he learned that his future junior disciple had caused trouble in the Underworld and Heavenly Court in the past, then come here to plunder supplies.

"Senior Brother Xuandu, tell Master that I love him!"

Every One of the Four Sovereigns and Five Elders Loves Watching the Show

You headed straight for the Jade Pool, took some of its water, then rushed to the Imperial Horse Stable and abducted a heavenly horse. Next, you charged into the Peach Garden and swept away several immortal peaches, before finally heading for the Hall of Universal Brightness.

Then, under the Greatly Honored One of Heaven's indifferent gaze, you directly swept away more than half the Nectar of the Immortals. After shouting, "This humble minister thanks the Greatly Honored One of Heaven for the wine and peaches!" you ran off in a flash.

The Greatly Honored One of Heaven merely smiled without speaking. Then he began dealing harshly with those righteous gods who usually only went through the motions, yet ended up crawling all over the ground after being beaten senseless by a young junior like you when it came time to truly exert themselves.

As you prepared to leave, the Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King led troops to capture you and immediately summoned the Exquisite Pagoda. You immediately called upon the system to take away his pagoda. Seeing that the pagoda was gone, the Central Altar Marshal shouted and chased the Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King through the Southern Heavenly Gate with spear in hand.

The Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King instantly became the Pagoda-Losing Heavenly King.

You ran back to the mortal realm, then headed straight for the Han Dynasty's capital.

Talent: Foreign Seeker of Pleasure activated.

"Big Brother! Third Brother!"

Liu Bang was holding court when Bai Ming came rushing back from outside on clouds and mist. "Open your mouths. Good stuff."

Liu Bang and Fan Kuai immediately opened their mouths. A golden pill entered each of them, and Liu Bang instantly felt as though he had returned to the prime of his youth. Liu Bang knew Bai Ming was an immortal, so he must have brought him something extraordinary.

"Second Brother, this thing..."

"Don't ask. I took it from my senior brother. The situation is urgent, so listen to me."

Bai Ming spoke rapidly. "Big Brother, abdicate in seventeen years. Then go to Western Kunlun with Third Brother and become immortal. We will need your help in the future."

With that, you vanished. The many new ministers, who did not know your abilities, were astonished, while the old ministers were already used to it. Liu Bang memorized the timing, and having regained the vigor of youth, he immediately began carrying out sweeping reforms throughout the court.

The first person removed was Lü Zhi.

Lü Zhi had not sat on the empress's throne for long before Liu Bang deposed her. The Lü clan's relatives were also suppressed by Liu Bang. Since his own wife was a member of the Lü clan, Fan Kuai simply chose to retire while the tide was high. Who could have expected Liu Bang to kick Fan Kuai in the ass the moment court ended?

Meanwhile, Fusu and Meng Tian were still happily chasing the Xiongnu all over the north. After driving the Xiongnu far away, Fusu returned to the Central Plains with Meng Tian and the army. He handed the army over to Liu Bang, then took Meng Tian to Western Kunlun, where they found a blessed land and cave-heaven to advance their cultivation.

You rushed home, then sprawled out on the ground without moving.

"Chief, what is this...?"

The gloomy-faced Xu Fu watched Bai Ming whirl in and collapse on the floor, her expression turning subtle. When she noticed the many wounds on your body and your serious internal injuries, she became terrified. "Lady Yu! Lady Yu! Chief is dying! Waaah!"

The moment Xu Fu finished shouting, Bai Ming grabbed her and pulled her to the ground, making her lie beside him. "I'm dying my ass! I'm exhausted. From now on, I'm taking it easy."

The overall process was this: go to the Underworld to alter lifespans, then ascend to the Heavenly Court to add a name to the immortal registry, arrange things like Lu Changxu's family circumstances for her next several lives, and incidentally settle the outstanding account with the Greatly Honored One of Heaven by helping him train the useless idiots who only pretended to work.

First, let Xu Fu try on her own. If she failed, then simply use the back door and have her join the ranks of immortals.

Bai Ming let out a long breath. "From today onward, in life and in death, you belong to me."

Xu Fu's mind was filled with question marks. "Eh... Ehh?!"

Just as Xu Fu was about to say something else, Consort Yu finally emerged from the room. She looked calmly at Bai Ming lying on the ground, sighed after a moment, and at that instant, someone knocked on Bai Ming's door again.

"Hi, hi~ I'm coming in."

A girl with narrowed eyes and a bowl cut looked at Bai Ming lying on the ground and teased, "My, my, what a sorry state. You can return the God-Slaying Whip to me now, right? Changing history so casually is quite the headache, you know. Beasts can emerge even within Lostbelts. It would be troublesome if you accidentally created some candidate for a Beast."

"Then work overtime."

With Xu Fu's support, Bai Ming sat up from the floor and casually threw the God-Slaying Whip to Taigong Wang. After catching it, Taigong Wang chuckled. "You took so many pills. Are you planning to eat them, or save them to hatch children? How about your senior brother reluctantly—"

Bai Ming put on the same narrowed-eye expression. The two narrowed-eyed men simply smiled at each other.

Consort Yu quietly watched from the side, completely unable to understand what the two of them were doing.

Taigong Wang sighed and said, "Fine, Senior Brother was only joking. I'm leaving, I'm leaving. Enjoy your final days. Among all our fellow disciples, you alone turned out to be such a lunatic."

Then Taigong Wang shook his head and left.

Only then did Consort Yu ask, "So what were you doing?"

"Mm... We were discussing your future."

Bai Ming sat upright and said, "Yu, I've always been worried about your future."

Consort Yu felt that something was off about Bai Ming's words. It felt like he was making final arrangements.

How could Azure Emperor Taihao be so easily defeated? After fighting Azure Emperor Taihao, you knew this simulation was nearing its end. Otherwise, you would not have rushed around in such a hurry. When you inhaled an entire furnace of Grand Master Xuandu's pills like a storm but your injuries did not improve, you knew Azure Emperor Taihao had dealt you a vicious blow.

Still, you had not come away empty-handed. You stole his Innate Eight Trigrams.