Gu Yue "Learns Martial Arts"

This was already Gu Yue's fifth day practicing martial arts.

Tang Wulin sat cross-legged on the sofa, holding a banana as he peeled it and watched the girl in loose training clothes at the center of the living room. Sunlight streamed through the floor-to-ceiling windows, outlining Gu Yue in gold, but her movements—drawing a circle with her left foot, twisting her right foot after it, then violently tossing her head—looked exactly like some rare bird courting a mate.

"Hey, Little Moon," Tang Wulin said around a bite of banana, "you've been bouncing around our living room every day. Auntie Wang downstairs has come up and knocked three times already. She thinks we're renovating."

Gu Yue finished her form, fine beads of sweat gathering on her forehead as she looked at him with clear, bright eyes. "I'm practicing to strengthen my body and improve my real combat ability. Although modern society is technologically advanced, the essence of traditional martial arts still holds extremely high research value."

"Give me a break." Tang Wulin rolled his eyes and accurately tossed the banana peel into a trash can three meters away. "Those 'Cloud Hands' of yours? They look about the same as how I used to grab for braised pork in the cafeteria. If something really happened, by the time you finished that routine, they'd have already taken you down. This stun baton is way more practical."

As he spoke, he pulled a black telescopic stun baton from beneath the coffee table and pressed the switch. With a crackle, a string of blue arcs burst out, and the air immediately filled with the scent of ozone.

Gu Yue's mouth twitched. This bastard always stepped on a landmine with perfect precision at times like this.

"Tang Wulin, that's a classic case of weapon fetishism. You're ignoring human initiative."

"Can human initiative block high-voltage electricity?" Tang Wulin tossed the baton onto the coffee table with a sharp clang, leaned back, crossed one leg over the other, and wore an infuriatingly smug grin. "Little Moon, take your big brother's advice and quit. Instead of wasting time on this, you might as well learn how to stew ribs in a pressure cooker from me. That's a lot more useful than your Tai Chi."

"I'm not practicing Tai Chi!" Gu Yue gritted her teeth, her chest rising and falling slightly. "I'm practicing a new style that combines modern combat sports with the essence of traditional martial arts!"

"A new style? Called the 'Getting Beaten Up Style,' right?" Tang Wulin sneered. "Come on, show me. Let me see what you've accomplished these past few days. If you can make me move even half a step, I lose."

He rested both hands behind his head and grinned brilliantly, like a husky provoking a lion.

Gu Yue took a deep breath, and her gaze changed instantly. Her usual coolness vanished, replaced by a sharpness Tang Wulin had never seen before—one steeped in rustic local flavor and fierce toughness.

"You brought this on yourself," Gu Yue said, enunciating each word.

"Come on! Let me show you what—" Tang Wulin's words had not even fallen.

Gu Yue stomped down with her left foot, instantly lowering her center of gravity. Then her right leg lifted at an extraordinarily strange angle that defied human biomechanics—it was not a standard side kick, but more like... some exaggerated swinging motion used to keep from slipping on ice?

Jiamusi Grand Hook!

With a clear shout, Gu Yue's long leg swept through a huge arc. The move looked slow and clumsy, but it actually sealed off every route Tang Wulin could retreat through. He did not even have time to uncross his legs before the heavy blow swept into his lower abdomen.

"Ow, dammit—" Tang Wulin screamed as he toppled crookedly off the sofa in an utterly miserable state.

Before he could get up, Gu Yue had already closed in. She did not follow up directly. Instead, she suddenly lowered herself, knocked the coffee table aside with her shoulder, and slid sideways along the floor like a slick loach—Qitaihe Side Kick!

Bang!

Tang Wulin had just propped up half his body when his chin took a solid kick. It was not a straightforward thrusting kick, but one powered by a spiraling twist, like being jabbed upward by a red-hot iron rod. His teeth clattered, and he nearly bit off his tongue.

"Stop! Stop! I surrender! This doesn't count—" Tang Wulin clutched his chin, tears nearly shooting from his eyes.

Why would Gu Yue listen to him? A cold glint flashed through her eyes, and while Tang Wulin's vision was blurred, she ghosted around behind him.

What followed became a nightmare that haunted Tang Wulin for a long time whenever he woke in the middle of the night.

Gu Yue did not use any flashy shoulder throw. Instead, she raised her right hand, fingers pressed together, and with the force of her waist and stance united, aimed at the back of Tang Wulin's neck—

Harbin Neck Slap!

Bzzzz—

Tang Wulin felt as though a hundred thousand bees were buzzing in his head. The slap was crisp and loud, echoing through the spacious living room hard enough to make even the chandelier sway three times. His vision went black, the world began to spin, and he could even smell a faint... barbecue scent?

But it was not over yet.

Just as his body went limp and he dropped to his knees to surrender, Gu Yue violently kicked off the floor with her right foot and leaped into the air. Her left leg came chopping down like a battle axe. There was nothing fancy about the move; it was pure release of power, carrying the rugged boldness unique to the Northeastern heavy industrial heartland.

Huludao Flying Kick!

Crack!

The kick landed squarely on Tang Wulin's left shoulder blade. He felt as if he had been struck sideways by a roaring old green train, and his body flew horizontally out of control. He crashed heavily onto the carpet and bounced twice before stopping.

The final thing he saw was Gu Yue walking over expressionlessly and crouching beside him. She did not use her foot. Instead, she bent her right arm, her hard elbow joint like a battering ram aimed at his chest—

Dalian Elbow Strike!

"Cough, cough, cough..." Tang Wulin spat out a mouthful of old blood—actually saliva—and completely lost consciousness.

After an unknown amount of time, Tang Wulin woke from the excruciating pain in his face.

He painfully opened his swollen eyes and found himself sprawled on the living room carpet like a torn sack. In the mirror, his left cheek was swollen high like an overproofed bun, one eye socket was bruised black, the corner of his mouth was split, the back of his neck burned with pain, and his chest felt so tight he could barely breathe.

Was this the legendary pig-head face?

"Water..." Tang Wulin croaked.

A cup of warm water was brought to his lips. Gu Yue had already changed back into her usual home clothes, her expression calm, as though the rampaging brute who had torn through the living room earlier had never been her.

"Drink," Gu Yue said flatly. "Serves you right."

Tang Wulin gulped greedily while tremblingly feeling around the coffee table for his phone. He had to find out how he had lost. He was the mighty Golden Dragon King! Even if he had not awakened, his physical condition should not have been beaten like this by someone training for only a few days!

With shaking hands, he opened a video app and selected a video in his favorites titled Northeastern Folk Practical Martial Arts Tutorial.

Onscreen, a middle-aged man in camouflage clothing demonstrated moves in the snow.

"Brothers, today I'm teaching you an ultimate one-move takedown technique—Jiamusi Grand Hook! This move is all about the hook. No matter where the enemy runs, one hook from us and they'll be knocked senseless!"

The video switched to another scene, where a middle-aged woman with a heavy accent appeared. "Watch closely. This is called the Qitaihe Side Kick. Forget all that joint-lock stuff. Once we kick out, as long as it even grazes them, the other guy's hitting the ground!"

Then came the Harbin Neck Slap: "This move cures all kinds of stubborn defiance. The key is catching them off guard, striking the spot where the back of the head meets the neck. One slap goes straight into the back of their skull!"

Huludao Flying Kick: "You need a running start for this one. It's all about powerful force. Don't mess around with any fancy nonsense—just send them straight into the sky!"

Finally came the Dalian Elbow Strike: "In close-quarters fighting, nothing works better than an elbow. Drive this one in, and I guarantee they won't be able to eat for three days!"

Tang Wulin watched the video, then looked at his pig-headed reflection in the mirror. His vision went dark, and the world spun around him.

If he had known... if he had known this was what that girl was practicing...

He would never have acted like such an idiot in the living room.

"Gulp." Tang Wulin swallowed the last mouthful of water and weakly looked at Gu Yue. "Um... Little Moon, tonight... could you make me a bowl of noodles? Add an extra egg."

Gu Yue glanced at him, turned, and walked toward the kitchen, leaving behind a light, drifting sentence:

"Dream on. Go downstairs and buy yourself a jianbing, and take out the trash while you're at it."

Tang Wulin: "..."