About Becoming a Magical Girl

42, Exactly the Same

Everyone had their own secrets. An Agent's identity was sensitive, and some Agents kept theirs completely confidential out of concern for their families' and loved ones' safety. Shinomiyami Nami would not tactlessly pry into Efnir's reasons.

These were not things suitable to discuss with Yukina.

Shinomiyami Nami had served as Efnir's combat operative for quite some time. She had more or less grown accustomed to Efnir's side as "Yanase Naoto," yet Efnir had suddenly taken the initiative to reveal her disguise. That only made Shinomiyami Nami somewhat worried.

Obviously, Efnir had suddenly confessed this to Yukina because of what had happened today.

As for Efnir and Yukina, many gears had already been set in motion and could no longer be stopped. That was why Efnir wanted to seize the initiative first.

Efnir had gone to see the commander just now because of the series of events that had occurred today.

Efnir usually seemed a little airheaded, but if her principles and bottom line were touched, no one could talk her down. At such times, she was always aggressive and overwhelmingly imposing, leaving no room for compromise... Shinomiyami Nami, who had stayed by Efnir's side all this time, knew that all too well.

When she thought that the stiff old commander might even get beaten up by an enraged Efnir, Shinomiyami Nami felt a little concerned.

"Is something wrong, Miss Shinomiyami? You don't look very well."

"Ah, it's nothing."

Pulled back from her thoughts, Shinomiyami Nami let out a long sigh.

Efnir had not allowed her to interfere in this matter, so there was no use sighing here now. The only task Efnir had given her was to take good care of Yukina.

Shinomiyami Nami simply cleared her mind completely.

She looked at Yukina.

"Sorry, I was thinking about work just now... Well, let's talk about your sister. I was wondering why she suddenly called you over to the hospital, but now it's obvious..."

Shinomiyami Nami smiled.

"But speaking of which, did your sister properly explain her situation to you?"

"She did, probably..."

"Probably?"

"Yeah..."

Yukina thought for a moment, not knowing how to answer.

"Actually, I'm not really sure what counts as her having told me... There are still so many things I want to know, so many that I can't even list them one by one. In the end, I have no confidence in how much I really know about her... My sister used to be that kind of person. She never talked to me about herself. When I wanted to understand her, I realized I knew nothing about her."

Yukina smiled awkwardly and looked at Shinomiyami Nami.

"Compared to me, Miss Shinomiyami probably understands my sister much more deeply... After all, you fought together, comrades who entrusted your backs to one another... Unlike me, who only got protected and knew nothing, my position itself put me on the side that couldn't understand my sister..."

How did the topic suddenly get pushed onto me? Shinomiyami Nami tilted her head, caught between laughter and tears.

And she was supposed to tell Yukina about Efnir?

They were sisters who had lived together for more than a decade. Even if something had driven a wedge between them, she, an outsider, had no right to pass judgment.

"It isn't really like that."

"It is."

Shinomiyami Nami tactfully shook her head, avoiding the question somewhat, but Yukina stood up with unusual determination.

"There must be. The sister I see, and the Efnir Miss Shinomiyami sees... To me, my sister is someone very important. So is Efnir. But hearing that they are actually the same person... suddenly makes it hard to simply accept... I want to understand them, and that's why I'm here. So no matter how much it is, I want to know the truest version of my sister."

Yukina had been thinking about it the entire way here. Back then, when she had asked Efnir to save her brother, what exactly had Efnir been feeling...

Why had she worn that expression?

How much of what Efnir had said to her had carried another meaning?

Those casual details, those forgotten words, now surfaced in her mind once again, repeating over and over.

Since that time, over the past year or so, how much of what Efnir had said to her had been spoken as Efnir, and how much had been spoken as her sister?

Those tangled balls of thread were picked up again in her heart, and Yukina's mind was once more filled with surging memories.

Perhaps, to Efnir, nothing had ever changed... The only person who had truly changed was Yukina herself.

She couldn't understand...

Yukina could not help wondering whether this had happened countless times before, whether Efnir had repeatedly tried to convey something to her during all the time she had overlooked.

But in the end, she had cast it all aside in her self-absorbed way, thinking only of her own affairs. Her sister's feelings, her sister's thoughts, what the world looked like through her sister's eyes, how many things she had overlooked—there were still so, so many things she wanted to know no matter what.

Yukina gazed earnestly at Shinomiyami Nami.

"The distance between my sister and me had been gradually growing ever wider before, and that made me uneasy. But now, that uneasiness has not diminished in the slightest... I had always blamed my sister wrongly... But... maybe it's strange for me to say this, but whenever I see my sister, I think of the promise she made to me when we were children. Even though I know why she did everything she did, her difficulties, the things she couldn't say, in the end I still got angry at her selfishly..."

There was nothing false in these feelings, whether toward her sister or toward Efnir.

Yukina did not doubt for a moment that her sister had hidden many things from her and gradually distanced herself in order to protect her.

But now those two feelings had suddenly become entwined, and Yukina could no longer distinguish them.

"Am I terribly unpleasant like this...?"

Yukina pressed her lips together and lowered her gaze.

"I hate myself like this too... Maybe I really still can't sort out my feelings and face my sister, so I thought of you just now. Miss Shinomiyami, you must be someone my sister can trust. The things you told me before... I care about them... And Miss Canary, she told me many things too. I think I still want to know more about my sister. Not just as a fan and supporter, and not just as a younger sister. Could you tell me more? About my sister, and about Miss Efnir as you see her."

Shinomiyami Nami looked at Yukina for a long time, then suddenly smiled meaningfully.

"Little Yukina... you're quite imposing now. You're completely different from when we first met. Just as expected... you sisters really are alike. Not just me... everyone probably thinks so."

Shinomiyami Nami gestured for Yukina to look around.

"Do they...?"

Yukina shifted her gaze aside and only then noticed the curious looks directed at her from all around.

It was quiet here, so even though Yukina had not spoken loudly, the people nearby could still hear her more or less. In an instant, Yukina's face turned bright red.

She awkwardly looked away and sat down stiffly.

"S-sorry... I just went on and on by myself... Please don't make fun of me, Miss Shinomiyami..."

"Why would I make fun of you?"

Shinomiyami Nami leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand as she smiled.

"But little Yukina looks so cute that I might not be able to help teasing you a little."

Shinomiyami Nami toyed with the coffee spoon in her hand inside her empty cup, then suddenly sighed again.

"Efnir too. Looking at it this way, didn't she end up saying nothing at all? It might not be appropriate for me to say this, but your sister is probably feeling exactly the same as you are right now. Hesitating in place, feeling uneasy because of you. In that regard, you sisters really are exactly alike."

"Um... is that so...?"

Yukina smiled a little bashfully, not quite understanding what Shinomiyami Nami meant.

A brief silence fell between them. Yukina lowered her gaze and looked at the dirty shoes beneath the table.

Were she and her sister really the same...

43, Commotion

"Yes, the same."

Shinomiyami Nami looked away. Her gaze rested on the bottom of the emptied cup, looking through the flickering lights toward somewhere far away.

Only after a long while did she speak softly.

"Little Yukina, you're a very good younger sister. You've always been thinking of your sister—pretty and brave... It must have been very hard for you to suddenly be told something like this... But please don't blame your sister because of it. You have always been the most important person to her. No matter what choices she made, she acted for your sake."

Shinomiyami Nami put down her coffee spoon and sighed. Just as she was about to continue, the phone on the table suddenly lit up and began vibrating.

Seeing the number displayed on the screen, Shinomiyami Nami frowned slightly and looked at Yukina.

"Sorry, I need to excuse myself for a moment. Can you wait here for me a little while?"

"It's fine. Miss Shinomiyami must have work to do, right? I'll stay here. I won't go anywhere."

Shinomiyami Nami stood up and smiled, then quickly walked away while answering the call.

Yukina watched Shinomiyami Nami disappear around the corner before withdrawing her gaze. She looked at the plate in front of her, which had been completely cleared, then took out her phone with its shattered screen and looked at it again and again.

Her sister had bought her the phone a long time ago. Xijing City had only recently reestablished civilian communications within the city back then, and her sister had taken her hand and given her this expensive gift, saying, "From now on, we can hear each other's voices anytime."

She had always cherished this phone.

But today, like her state of mind, it had been broken.

What exactly was going on...

So much had happened that she would not even have been surprised if she woke up and found it had all been a dream.

Just as Yukina's thoughts were wandering, Shinomiyami Nami returned. Yukina raised her eyes, about to greet her, when she suddenly noticed a fleeting trace of caution and seriousness beneath Shinomiyami Nami's usual smile.

"Sorry, Yukina. This may be sudden, but we don't have time to keep chatting now."

Shinomiyami Nami spoke quietly.

"Huh?"

"...I'll explain the details later. For now, please come with me."

Sensing the subtle change in atmosphere, Yukina pressed her lips together, stood up, and followed Shinomiyami Nami.

Shinomiyami Nami walked at neither a fast nor slow pace. Yukina followed beside her, and the two chatted as though nothing were wrong. When they reached the elevator, Shinomiyami Nami quickly pressed several buttons on the control panel, and only then did the elevator doors slowly close.

"Whew..."

Shinomiyami Nami relaxed slightly.

"Miss Shinomiyami, what happened?"

Yukina looked at Shinomiyami Nami and could not help asking.

Shinomiyami Nami's eyes held both hesitation and unease. She crouched down slightly to meet Yukina's gaze.

"It's about your sister."

The elevator descended, a dull vibration passing up through the floor. Yukina stared at the tips of her shoes, momentarily dazed.

A subtle tension spread through the air.

Yukina clutched the hem of her clothes, the unease in her heart heavy and oppressive.

It was back, that unpleasant feeling. It had been the same when she was with her "brother" before. She had been dissatisfied by his hot-and-cold attitude, but whenever he came home with injuries on his face, her heart would still tighten uncontrollably.

That contradictory yet genuine feeling...

Shinomiyami Nami kept her eyes on the floor display, counting the changing numbers, looking somewhat nervous.

Yukina tentatively asked, "Um... Miss Shinomiyami, what exactly happened to my sister?"

Shinomiyami Nami looked at her and hesitantly spoke.

"She... is currently 'Ephnel'..."

"Efnir...?"

"Yes, the real Efnir, not Miss Yanase... Right now, she's acting as an Agent, here at headquarters."

Shinomiyami Nami's mouth twisted slightly as she explained.

"Just now, our department suddenly detected the appearance of 'Ephnel's' wavelength. It was located inside headquarters, and everyone got terribly alarmed, thinking some sort of accident had occurred. After checking, we discovered it was your sister... But... before we could even relax, someone immediately reported that while checking the surveillance footage, they discovered your sister had gone straight to the commander's office fully armed in Synchronization."

Yukina listened to Shinomiyami Nami with a blank look on her face, still unable to process it.