The Pervy Sage, Jiraiya

A flash of golden light.

A figure instantly appeared behind the Hidden Grass Jonin. Naruto slowly materialized.

Beside him stood a red-haired girl. It was Karin.

The one who had committed suicide just now had merely been a Shadow Clone Naruto created.

The purpose was to use the Shadow Clone's memories to pinpoint the exact coordinates, then use Flying Thunder God to cross half of Konoha and intercept this little pest.

The Hidden Grass Jonin abruptly turned around. When he saw that the newcomer was Naruto Uzumaki, his pupils first contracted sharply.

Then...

With a whoosh!

His entire triangular face instantly filled with a fawning smile, more radiant than a blooming chrysanthemum.

"Oh? Lord Naruto Uzumaki of Konoha!"

He rushed forward in two quick strides, vigorously wiped his hands on his clothes, and stretched them out as far as he could.

"I have long admired your name! Meeting you truly surpasses hearing of you! Your battle against Gaara of the Hidden Sand Village today was truly eye-opening! You are indeed a young hero of exceptional talent and handsome bearing! You will surely be the perfect candidate for Hokage someday!"

He bent at a ninety-degree angle, nearly burying his head in his chest.

Karin watched from the side, dumbfounded.

The person who had just been cursing and threatening to deal with her had changed faces faster than flipping a page.

Naruto looked at the outstretched hand, a faint smile curling at the corner of his lips.

He reached out and lightly grasped it.

"No need to be so polite."

Naruto's voice was gentle.

He chuckled. "I came here to kill you, and I'm about to do it now."

The air instantly froze, and the Hidden Grass Jonin's smile stiffened on his face.

His hand was still clasped in Naruto's, while his mind went completely blank.

Three seconds later.

He slowly blinked and finally came back to his senses.

"Huh?"

He suspected he had misheard.

"What did you say?"

Naruto smiled again, speaking one word at a time.

"I said."

"I came to kill you."

"Now."

"I'll do it."

Hidden Grass Jonin: "???"

What the hell?

Were young people these days all this direct?

Not even a single polite line first?

At least curse me out a couple times first!

You're making me lose face here!

In an instant, the Hidden Grass Jonin shot backward! He moved so fast that he left an afterimage behind.

As he retreated, he roared wildly in his heart, What kind of fucking lunatic says he's going to kill someone halfway through a handshake?! Does he have no sense of the rules at all?!

Naruto watched the fleeing Jonin, the corner of his lips lifting slightly as he casually threw out two specially made kunai.

Whoosh! Whoosh!

The first one flew straight at his face.

The Hidden Grass Jonin hurriedly raised a kunai to block it.

Clang!

Sparks flew everywhere.

The second one grazed past his ear, and he managed to dodge it!

The Hidden Grass Jonin had just begun to curl his lips into a smug smile.

Is that all? Nothing special...

"Flying Thunder God." Activated!

Flash!

A faint voice sounded behind him. The Hidden Grass Jonin's smile instantly froze. Before he could even turn around, a warm palm was already pressed against his back.

"Rasengan."

No windup.

BOOM!!!

Azure chakra erupted in an instant.

The Hidden Grass Jonin was sent flying like a dead dog and slammed viciously into the ground face-first. He ate a full mouthful of dirt, even knocking out two front teeth.

Mud mixed with blood sprayed from his mouth. He struggled to raise his head and looked at Naruto standing where he was.

His eyes were filled with shock, unwillingness, and despair.

"Flying Thunder God..."

"Yellow Flash..."

He muttered to himself.

He gritted his teeth and spat out a mouthful of bloody saliva, then suddenly roared.

"Damn it, Konoha again! How can Konoha be so lucky?!"

"You've produced another Yellow Flash!"

"Unfair! This is unfair!"

"Why do you Konoha people have Minato Namikaze, and now Naruto Uzumaki too?!"

"Why do you all have Flying Thunder God?! Why do you all have women from the Uzumaki Clan following you?!"

"Why?!"

His roar came to an abrupt end. His head tilted to the side, and he breathed his last.

Naruto stepped forward and crouched down.

He searched the body, pulled out a money pouch, weighed it in his hand, and stuffed it into his pocket.

He pulled out several more scrolls, glanced at them, found them useless, and tossed them away.

Then he formed hand seals.

"Fire Release: Ash Pile Burning."

Pale blue flames instantly enveloped the corpse.

There was no thick smoke and no strange odor. A few minutes later, only a pile of white ash remained on the ground.

Naruto formed hand seals again.

"Wind Release: Great Breakthrough."

A gust of wind swept through, scattering the white ash.

Not a single trace remained. Even the scent of blood in the air was blown away completely.

The entire process was smooth and seamless.

There was not the slightest hesitation, nor the slightest pause.

Karin stood beside him with her mouth hanging wide open, wide enough to fit Naruto's head inside.

She had originally thought Naruto was merely strong. She had not expected that... he was even better at disposing of bodies after killing someone, so skilled that it was almost heartbreaking.

"How exactly did he spend these twelve years?"

Naruto clapped his hands, rose to his feet, and looked at Karin.

"All right."

He formed a hand seal. A Shadow Clone appeared, then transformed into an ordinary kunai.

"Take this."

Naruto handed the kunai to Karin.

"Go find Zabuza. He works for me now, and he'll settle you in. Once I'm done handling Konoha's affairs, I'll come find you."

Karin accepted the kunai and gripped it tightly.

She looked at Naruto, and her eyes suddenly reddened. Tears fell like beads from a broken string.

The next second... she suddenly threw herself at him.

She hugged Naruto, stood on tiptoe, and directly kissed him on the lips!

Naruto: "!!!"

His entire body froze, and his brain instantly crashed. He wanted to push Karin away, but she hugged him tighter and pressed even closer. Her soft lips carried a girl's warmth, along with a faint scent of cherry blossoms.

Only one thought frantically flooded Naruto's mind.

Fuck!

My first kiss!

I'm not pure anymore!

Kurama! Get out here and save me!

Kurama was rolling around on the floor laughing in the sealing space.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Serves you right! That's what you get for bullying me all the time!"

"Your first kiss is gone now, isn't it?! Hahahaha!"

"I told you long ago that there was something off about the way this girl looked at you! You just wouldn't believe me!"

Naruto roared wildly in his heart.

"Shut up, you filthy old pervert!"

"You've got the nerve to talk about me?! You watch the concubines in Empresses in the Palace every day!"

Kurama: "..."

"How is that the same?! I watch it for palace intrigue! For political scheming!"

Karin finally let Naruto go.

Her face was red as an apple.

Yet she still looked at him bravely.

"Naruto."

"I'll wait for you."

After saying that.

She turned around.

Without looking back, she ran into the forest.

Naruto stood where he was.

He touched his lips.

His face was filled with despair.

"My first kiss..."

"Just like that... it's gone..."

Kurama was still twisting the knife.

"It's fine. It was going to be gone sooner or later."

"Better than having Sasuke take it, right?"

Naruto: "..."

"Thanks so much."

The next day.

Konoha Village.

Naruto walked down the street, pondering, By the way, who's spreading rumors around the village that I like slaughtering entire families, and that whenever I'm unhappy, I'll unleash the Nine-Tails to massacre the village?

What the hell is all that? I'm obviously a peace-loving good boy. Looks like... I really need to find them and have a little discussion about life, maybe raise my Darkness Value or something.

Just then, he passed a women's bathhouse and vaguely heard splashing water from inside, along with the laughter of girls.

Then...

He saw... a lecherous white-haired old man crouching on top of the bathhouse wall. The old man wore a red kimono, his hair was a complete mess, and he held a small notebook and a pen.

He was clinging to the top of the wall, standing on tiptoe, watching with rapt attention. Drool was practically dripping from his chin.

Naruto: "..."

He rubbed his eyes.

He thought he had seen wrong.

He looked again.

No mistake.

It was that old man.

Naruto sucked in a breath and blurted out.

"Fuck... the Pervy Sage, Jiraiya!"

The old man on the wall stiffened when he heard the voice. He slowly turned his head, saw Naruto, and first stared blankly.

Then...

He revealed an incomparably lecherous smile.

He faced Naruto.

He made a "shh" gesture, muttering,

"Damn it, don't call my name! It's not like I've done anything good, and so many people are watching!"

Then he beckoned.

Lowering his voice,

"Naruto, kid."

"Come here, come here."

"The angle's better over here."

"I'm telling you, the third one from the left has an incredible figure!"

Naruto: "..."

He looked at one of the legendary Three Sannin before him.

At the man known as the Toad Sage.

At his father's teacher, with only one thought in his heart.

Why were all of Konoha's older generation such trash?