Flower-Fruit Mountain's Local Specialties

At night, Qin Fen lay bored in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. It was not that his lonely heart needed warmth; he was simply too excited. Before he knew it, he had accomplished what others spent their entire lives working toward.

He really had achieved it without even noticing. Many people struggled their whole lives, yet he had somehow ended up with a big house without paying attention at all. Just like in a TV drama, he had gone straight from a guy with nothing to someone with a house and savings. Although the savings were not much, he had not even had time to prepare himself. How could it happen without any foreplay? It was far too easy for things to not get exciting enough.

"My life goal has taken a small step toward completion!" Qin Fen muttered with conviction as he lay in bed.

"I wonder what Sun Yating is doing?" Qin Fen thought of that woman. That seductress. Still, she really did seem pretty good—good for her husband, at least. That was what Qin Fen thought, because without making a sound, she had helped him acquire real estate.

If Song Shaoqing heard that, he would definitely spit at him. Good for her husband? That Female Hooligan? The little tyrant of the compound, an expert at setting people up and tattling on them? You were overthinking it.

"I'd better not talk to her." Qin Fen closed his phone. He could fully imagine how terrible her mood was right now. Qin Fen had stood her up, after all, and their planned meal had been put on hold.

A black shadow suddenly sprang up from the floor and burrowed into Qin Fen's blanket along the bed. The soft, furry sensation nearly made him jump out of bed. He lifted the blanket and saw a little head rub against him. Then it curled up, found a comfortable spot, and lay down. Its big eyes glanced at him before it rested its head on its forepaws.

"You little thing, you sure know how to pick a spot. You knew to come in and enjoy the air conditioning while it's hot." Qin Fen laughed and scolded it, then slowly closed his eyes.

One day in Heaven was one year on earth, but ever since the Immortal-Mortal Severance, that difference in time had been changing strangely.

Qin Fen slept sweetly, but the Earth God was coughing blood.

Ever since he had met Natural Immortal, his life had become as thrilling as a roller coaster ride. First, he had suffered endless bullying. Left with no other choice, he could only compromise with Qin Fen. After that, his days had been quite pleasant. The little brats had been well-behaved, especially after Li Tingyu had been assigned to the Daily Duty Department. Life had been downright wonderful.

But what kind of book was Investiture of the Gods? Journey to the West had been manageable, but the moment the former appeared, the situation changed at once. More and more little brats came to read it, and their numbers grew ever larger. Wherever there were people, there were factions; wherever there were immortals, there were sects.

After a brief period of peace, the accumulated conflict finally erupted.

Watching a huge group of children brawl into a tangled mess, all kinds of violent spells and little magic treasures flying everywhere, the Earth God's heart bled. All he could hear were words like, "My dad is XXX! My grandpa is XXX!"

Then they rolled up their sleeves and joined the fight.

When these little brats could not win, they started calling for reinforcements.

The Earth God's balls ached. Matchmaker Yue, who had just finalized the details with the Daily Duty Star Official and was floating past with a beaming face, was also startled. He descended from his cloud and spoke to the Earth God. The instant he saw that copy of Investiture of the Gods, his eyes nearly popped out. With his knowledge, he could not possibly know anything about the Investiture of the Gods. So where had this absurd picture book come from, and why was it so bizarre?

Before long, the conflict escalated beyond the little brats. A group of teenagers and young adults joined in—their older brothers and sisters.

The moment they heard their younger siblings had been beaten up, they all rushed over to provide support. Soon, flames shot into the sky as they fought, and heaven and earth darkened.

Matchmaker Yue's face turned green. "H-how did this happen?"

The Earth God was about to cry. "Immortal, I don't know either!"

Watching groups of young men and women fighting each other, Matchmaker Yue nearly spat out a mouthful of old blood. He had been counting on organizing a matchmaking convention later. If they kept this up, would they not be especially jealous whenever enemies met?

"Could this be Daoist Nature's method?" Matchmaker Yue glanced at the book. The more he looked, the more likely it seemed. That fellow's rotten ideas were unprecedented throughout history.

"Immortal, y-you know Natural Immortal too?" The Earth God's balls ached. Good grief, that guy's shadow was everywhere.

I knew it! It really was him! Matchmaker Yue shuddered violently and nearly threw up. Was this what he meant by enemies being destined to gather? Would true love emerge from fighting? Matchmaker Yue did not believe it. It was too damned absurd.

"I don't know either. Anyway, I was only following the immortal's instructions. I never expected it to turn out like this!" The Earth God looked utterly miserable, as if he had stepped in dog shit. If anything went wrong, damn it, he would definitely be the one carrying the blame.

Thinking of Qin Fen's words, Matchmaker Yue was speechless. As he watched the young men and women fight closer and closer, grappling and tearing at each other in close combat, their faces flushing from bodily contact and growing slightly awkward, his asshole clenched. "Daoist, your methods are unfathomable. People like us cannot comprehend them!"

The Heavenly Court had been rigid for far too long. Now that they had suddenly started fighting, and could not use lethal force, some physical contact was perfectly normal as they fought. If Qin Fen had been there, he would have looked down on these two idiots. Did they not know that judo, wrestling, and close combat were naturally the best setups for physical contact?

Brush against each other, bump into each other—what young man would not be stirred, what young girl would not be confused? What rod would not straighten, what grapes would not stand firm? Even if I told you, you would not understand. You country bumpkins do not get it. This was youth!

After watching for quite some time, Matchmaker Yue finally forced out a sentence. "Unfathomable. Could this be Daoist Nature's tactic of pushing the boat along with the current? Truly inconceivable. His imaginative ideas run as wild as a celestial steed; people like us cannot compare. But why can't I understand it? It's so wicked."

The Earth God listened for a long time without understanding a thing. He only understood one sentence: Natural Immortal was unfathomable! Far-sighted, wise, and possessed of great divine power.

While those two were suffering, Qin Fen's face began to itch. He reached up and wiped away a smear of drool, while barking sounded beside his ear. As for what state the Heavenly Court was in now, did it matter to a Four-Haves Newcomer? Better a dead Daoist than a dead poor man. What the hell did it have to do with him?

"Little Bean, I'm warning you—if you do that again, I'll have you neutered!" Qin Fen opened his eyes and snarled viciously.

Little Bean abruptly clamped its hind legs together, its eyes bulging as it immediately darted aside and kept some distance from Qin Fen. What a joke. That was standard equipment for claiming territory. How could it give it up? Never abandon, never give up—this was a good dog's promise to its little ding-ding.

After getting out of bed, Qin Fen quickly took care of himself and turned on his phone. He tapped Food God's avatar, and two pictures appeared in the transfer: one showed a large amount of vegetables and fruit, while the other showed various flowers. It seemed that guy was quite efficient. Qin Fen thought blandly that he had not expected him to get in touch with the Great Sage so quickly.

After thinking for a moment, Qin Fen tapped the picture of the flowers. The transfer and download completed instantly.

Your current balance: 112

Four hundred spent? Qin Fen's brows relaxed. Good, he could still afford it. Looking at the huge bundle of flowers, Qin Fen rolled up his sleeves, ready to show off his skills. To do a good job, one must first sharpen one's tools. If he wanted to create a place for leisure and relaxation, he would start by decorating the environment. What he wanted was something high-end, grand, and classy.

Anything produced by Flower-Fruit Mountain was bound to be a premium product!

PS: Thank you to Evil Young Master, Ma Yang, Lone Wolf, N, and all the other big shots for your rewards. Thank you to everyone supporting Table Lamp. Thank you for the positive review, Qing Song.