You Can't Hide Forever

Wen Jingkong commanded the Imperial Guard, patrolling and guarding the capital day and night. He was run ragged every day, with scarcely any time to properly spend with his wife and children. Whenever he saw his Crown Prince cousin, he could never help grumbling first.

Xiao Hanye lowered his eyes and idly fiddled with his teacup, his mind wandering far away.

Only after Wen Jingkong had finished complaining did he realize he was being ignored. He waved a hand before him. "What, thinking about that little shadow guard of yours whose fate is still unknown again?"

Xiao Hanye's hand paused. He leaned back slightly. "He's been found."

"Really?" Wen Jingkong was delighted at first, then frowned. Reading his expression, he cautiously asked, "Is he... dead?"

Xiao Hanye lifted his eyelids. "Is my happiness not obvious enough?"

Wen Jingkong: "..."

Not in the slightest.

"It's good that he's not dead." Wen Jingkong let out a breath and picked up an osmanthus pastry from the table. "Where was he found?"

Xiao Hanye pinched the bridge of his nose and said nothing.

His response left Wen Jingkong so curious that his heart felt like it was being scratched by claws. He shook Xiao Hanye's arm. "Don't keep me in suspense. Judging by that reaction, don't tell me Lin Zhao lost his memory and recognized another man as his master?"

"..."

Xiao Hanye's expression turned subtly strange. He gave an inscrutable laugh and thrust two fingers straight toward Wen Jingkong's eyes.

Wen Jingkong hurriedly ducked his head and clutched it.

"Commander, Commander..."

The deputy commander came charging in noisily. Upon noticing that the Crown Prince was also present, he abruptly halted and instantly became composed, respectfully bowing.

Xiao Hanye took a sip of tea. "What is it?"

"Yes, yes, yes—the freshest joke in the capital!" Meng Si pulled over a chair and sat down with sweeping bravado. He poured himself a cup of tea and laughed so hard he could barely contain himself. "Those people from Imperial Academy Hall got into trouble today. His Majesty made every last one of them kneel before the Worthy Achievement Stele and recite the Tao Te Ching, ahahaha—"

Wen Jingkong imagined it, the scene vivid before his eyes, and could not help clutching his stomach in laughter. Delighted by their misfortune, he asked, "What did they do?"

Meng Si said, "They frightened the young master of the Chancellor's Residence into fainting."

"Pfft—cough, cough—"

Xiao Hanye choked on his tea.

"Your Highness, are you all right?" Meng Si hurried over with fawning attentiveness, patting his back as his mouth kept running.

"They say there was a dead spider in Prince Jing's copybook. He believed Prince Kang had deliberately used it to scare him, and the two factions started arguing and fighting. But both sides were so full of hostility that the young master of the Chancellor's Residence was shaken to the core and actually fainted from fright."

Xiao Hanye: "..."

That was simply too absurd.

It was Wen Jingkong's first time hearing of such a bizarre affair. He found it utterly inconceivable. "He really fainted from fright?"

Meng Si nodded. "Really. Even Physician Zhang was summoned. There's no way it could be fake."

Wen Jingkong clicked his tongue twice, then could not help snickering again. He laughed until he could not straighten his back, leaning against Xiao Hanye's shoulder and crying that his stomach hurt.

Xiao Hanye pinched a small fold of flesh on his arm and mercilessly squeezed.

Wen Jingkong's laughter instantly became a howl. Rubbing his arm and sucking in breaths, he shot Xiao Hanye a glare and complained pitifully, "You pinched me purple."

Xiao Hanye glanced sideways at him. "If you've got the skill, pinch me back."

Commander Wen slapped the table and rose. He stared down at the Crown Prince for a while, then sat back down as if nothing had happened. He had the heart but not the nerve, and could only grind his teeth in secret, feeling that he had sunk so low he was not even the equal of a teacup.

Wen Jingkong propped his cheek up with one hand. "Why aren't you having a laugh too? It's such a funny thing."

Xiao Hanye turned his teacup, then drained the rest in one swallow. "I had the shadow guards put the dead spider there."

Wen Jingkong: "..."

Wen Jingkong had followed at his Crown Prince cousin's heels since childhood. They had stolen the consorts' pet parrots, fed the Emperor's beloved koi to death, slipped Secret Illustrations of Spring Nights into the Chancellor's memorials, and even braided their tutor's beard together.

The rotten things the two had done in their youth could not be counted on one hand. Putting a dead spider in Prince Jing's copybook was indeed something the Crown Prince would do.

Wen Jingkong smacked his lips twice.

Xiao Hanye calmly reminded him, "Don't provoke me if there's no need."

Wen Jingkong rubbed his nose, thinking, I still have that much self-awareness. Seeing him rise to leave, he asked, "Where are you going?"

Xiao Hanye answered, "To watch the joke."

Wen Jingkong grabbed his sleeve. "You still haven't told me what happened to Lin Zhao."

"He's perfectly fine." Xiao Hanye got a headache whenever he thought of him and yanked his sleeve back irritably. "He's the one who fainted."

"Huh? What did you say—?!!"

Caught completely off guard, Wen Jingkong sucked in a cold breath. He nearly slipped off his chair, his eyes going wide enough that his brows almost flew off in shock.

Xiao Hanye ignored him and turned to leave. He went straight to the Imperial College, where he indeed found a group of people kneeling before the Worthy Achievement Stele, each holding a book with faces as lifeless as ashes, reciting the Tao Te Ching weakly.

Tao Wenzhi paced back and forth with a ruler in hand. Ordered to supervise them here, he would bring it down directly on anyone who dared fish in troubled waters.

Just as Xiao Chongrui was reciting, "Heaven and earth are not benevolent; they treat all things as straw dogs," he noticed a shadow fall over him. Looking up, he met the Crown Prince's gaze, brimming with mockery.

Xiao Chongrui clenched his fists. "..."

Bastard.

After mocking him, the Crown Prince strolled over to his fourth brother and waved himself about before him. The frustration Shen Tingjue had given him was instantly swept away, and he found himself in an excellent mood.

Sure enough, happiness was built upon other people's pain.

Chancellor's Residence.

Shen Tingjue lay stiffly on the bed, pretending to be unconscious. Hearing Steward Feng lean close to his ear and quietly report the fate of those people from Imperial Academy Hall, he was thoroughly satisfied. He naturally drifted off to sleep, and when he woke, he was glowing with energy, feeling as though he could eat three huge bowls of rice.

Steward Feng washed his hands, peeled a sweet mandarin orange, meticulously removed every white strand, and handed it to him.

Just as Shen Tingjue finished the orange, he saw the Grand Princess enter. The maid following behind her steadily placed a porcelain pot two feet wide on the table.

"Little Jue, come here." The Grand Princess lifted the lid. "This is fresh deer antler from your imperial uncle's hunting grounds, stewed with cistanche, morinda root, dogwood fruit, and all sorts of tonics. As long as you keep eating it for a few months, Mother guarantees you'll become nice and plump, as adorable as a little piglet."

Shen Tingjue: "..."

Absolutely not.

But the Grand Princess's generous affection was difficult to refuse, and her good intentions could not be let down. Shen Tingjue could only endure her eager gaze and down two large bowls in one go. Seeing that she was about to serve him another, he had a flash of inspiration. "Mother, I've had enough. Save the rest for His Highness."

The Grand Princess paused, turned to look at him, and smiled. "All right. Then Mother will send someone to deliver it."

"No need. His Highness promised to take me to Drunken Immortal Tower for dinner tonight." Shen Tingjue was inexplicably certain. "He'll be here soon."

"Is that so?" The Grand Princess had not expected their relationship to improve so quickly that they were already dining together. Deeply gratified, she looked at the sky, where dusk had already settled thick and dark, and sent a maid to the East Palace to urge him along.

Xiao Hanye had already made up an excuse not to go and was about to refuse when Wu Dequan cautiously edged closer and sincerely advised, "Your Highness, this old servant thinks you should go. If you break the appointment and anger him into fainting, you may end up reciting the Tao Te Ching before the Worthy Achievement Stele too."

Xiao Hanye shot him a cold look.

Wu Dequan was old enough to have worried himself half to death. Hardening himself, he firmly finished what he had to say. "You can hide for a moment, but not for a lifetime."

Xiao Hanye: "..."