Smaug's Skeleton

Where is Gandalf?

Russell roared, startling those around him. The No-Face Character Card was still valid; its bloated body and gaping maw made it look like a new species bred by Mordor.

Only one person present could recognize Russell, and that person happened to be the one pinning him down.

"I... I'm lying down inside, soaking in melamine..."

The muffled voice sounded a bit like Gandalf. Russell turned around and looked around twice, but couldn't find anyone.

"Russell, Gandalf might be stuck on you," Frodo said kindly, perched on Russell's back.

Russell glared at Frodo, thinking, "You think you're so smart?" He quickly stood up and said, "Gandalf, what are you doing running around under my butt? If you do this again, I'm going to get angry!"

Gandalf, his eye twitching, scrambled to his feet. A flash of Illumination Spell cleaned his mud-stained white robes. "Russell, I..."

"Ugh, ugh, ugh~~~"

Splash! Splash!

Russell, in his No-Face form, vomited profusely until all the remaining contents were expelled, at which point he returned to his original form.

A small mountain covered in black mud appeared nearby, filled with Orcs, stones, wood chips, gargoyles—everything imaginable, and all of them alive, struggling in the mud like earthworms wriggling around. The sight was extremely unappetizing.

Frodo glanced at it, then looked down and vomited. After vomiting twice, he suddenly realized, "Oh no, Gandalf has been buried!"

"..."

Russell gasped. Honestly, he had no intention of vomiting Gandalf.

The Character Card's expiration date had just come up, and he was full of junk that needed to be cleared out. And Gandalf just happened to be right there. The two of them combined to create this unexpected situation.

"Fate is truly wondrous!"

Russell sighed and reached out to dig Gandalf out, but because he was so disgusted, he couldn't help but vomit twice more.

"Ugh~~~"

Frodo was speechless; his intuition told him that Russell was doing this on purpose. He went around to Russell's side, intending to dig Gandalf out, but it was too disgusting...

"Ugh~~~"

Boom!!

A burst of white light erupted, and the black mud hill shattered and flew everywhere. Gandalf, dressed in a shimmering white robe, his beard and hair dancing without wind, glared angrily at Russell.

"I know you did this on purpose..."

Snap!

Russell grabbed Gandalf's hand, his face filled with anxiety. "It's terrible, Gandalf, Sauron has obtained the One Ring and has been resurrected."

Gandalf: "..."

I know, but don't think you can change the subject like that.

"Russell, you were clearly..."

"Sauron has regained his powerful magic and intends to conquer the entire Middle-earth. His eyes are filled with nothing but conquest and destruction. Gandalf, you are the White Wizard, do you have any good strategies to counter this?"

Gandalf: "..."

With Middle-earth on the verge of collapse, continuing to fuss over trivial matters will only lead to being criticized to death later.

Gandalf angrily flicked his sleeve, indicating that this was not over. "How could Sauron have obtained the One Ring? Did he see through our plans?"

Russell nodded and recounted what had happened at Mount Doom. Gandalf smiled bitterly upon hearing this, "Sauron had already guessed our plan and even cooperated with the performance. How laughable that we were so arrogant and were manipulated by him all along."

"This isn't the time to talk about that. I'll just ask you one question: between you and Lord Sauron, who is stronger?" Russell asked bluntly.

"About right, the power of our Five Witches is comparable to that of Sauron."

Gandalf answered truthfully that the mature Maiar never lied, and that everyone was indeed about the same level when Sauron did not have the One Ring.

"Alright, Sauron is yours now." Russell patted Gandalf on the shoulder, tucked Frodo under his arm, and turned to run.

Gandalf, his face ashen, grabbed Russell. The dialogue seemed familiar, and after a moment's thought, he realized that Russell had used the same tactic during his duel with the Witch-king of Angmar.

"Roar roar roar————"

From the direction of Mount Doom, a high-pitched dragon's roar echoed across the land, and a strong wind swept across the battlefield before the Black Gate, causing everyone to stagger and fall. Whether they were the human allied forces or the Mordor Orcs, all felt a sense of fear at the sound of that dragon's roar.

"That voice is..."

Gandalf looked in astonishment toward the direction of the dragon's roar, and saw a Bone Dragon over a hundred meters long. Its flesh was corroded by dark power, which was concentrated between its joints, allowing the Bone Dragon to move freely under the control of magic.

"When did Sauron destroy Smaug's dragon carcass?"

Gandalf stared into the Bone Dragon's dark eye sockets, where a chilling mass of Dark Energy was compressed in the center of its skull. Supported by this energy, Smaug, even in death, could still unleash considerable destructive power.

"Great white-robed mage, we're counting on you." Russell decisively gave up the center position, taking a half-step back like a junior.

Gandalf ignored Russell, his brow furrowed as he stared intently at the Bone Dragon. Besides Smaug, he also saw a translucent soul within Bone Dragon. Though he couldn't discern its shape, he knew this soul was very familiar—it was someone he knew.

"Who is it...?"

"Roar roar roar————"

The Bone Dragon flapped its wings and came, Dark Energy evenly distributed between its bone wings, turning into a solidified wing membrane, preserving Smaug's ability to fly.

"Gandalf the White, I told you, I would put you to death at Blackgate today."

On the back of the Bone Dragon was a throne made of steel, Sauron sat firmly on it like a king. He was a necromancer, so it was not unusual for him to own a Bone Dragon.

Gandalf wiped the cold sweat from his brow. "Russell, the situation is a bit tricky, I..."

"It's alright, your strength is comparable to Sauron's."

"Bullshit! Don't play dumb with me. Can't you at least consider the pride of a mature Maiar?" Gandalf roared, his composure broken by Russell Maiar.

"Alright, what do you suggest?" Russell's expression turned serious. The mission required him to kill Sauron with his own hands; he couldn't escape it.

With Gandalf, that overpowered guy, drawing fire and keeping Sauron occupied, he might be able to snatch a kill with a little cunning.

"Sauron's power has completely fallen into darkness, powerful yet extreme. If we can dispel the darkness, we will have a chance to reclaim the One Ring and make him a ghost once more," Gandalf analyzed.

"Illumination Spell?"

"Yes, but my ability to use the power of light is limited, and I need some assistance. Do you have any magic of light or the like?" Gandalf didn't have Aether hopes. Russell wasn't the Maiar; how could he possibly have the power of light?

Is this okay?

Russell pulled a beautiful Crystal from his pocket, filled with a liquid that sparkled like starlight.

[Item Card: Light of Eärendil (Its scent is invigorating, its taste is longevity-enhancing)]

Gandalf's eyes bulged as he scrutinized Russell from head to toe, exclaiming incredulously, "The Light of Eärendil! This is a sacred relic of the Elves! Where did you get it?"

It was taken from Galadriel!

Russell, of course, wouldn't say that. He smiled shyly and said, "That night we stayed overnight in Lothlórien. I went out for a while, and that's when the Lady of the Wood asked me to meet her by the river and then saw me off."

Gandalf: (˙灬˙)

Impossible! You're so ugly and have such a filthy mind, always thinking about heartless elves. Even if Galadriel were blind, she wouldn't give you the Light of Eärendil.

Also, just laugh if you want, why be shy?

"..."

Gandalf was a hundred percent skeptical, but the Light of Eärendil was right before his eyes and couldn't be faked, so his mind wandered.