The Supermarket's Bottled Water Had Gone Up in Price Again

"Listen up, everyone on Earth!"

"In the name of God, I warn you: there are Mutants among humans. The long passage of time has led you astray, but I have returned..."

"The final judgment is imminent; the old civilization has fallen, and a new era has begun..."

"Old Gods, I'll be waiting for you in Cairo!"

"..."

(One-one) x 2

"Wade, what are you talking to yourself for? Are you having another episode? Do you need physical therapy?"

Deadpool shrugs. "No, it was the long-haired bald guy talking in my head. I know you can't hear me, so I'm just broadcasting it to you live."

Almost immediately after Apocalypse abducted Charles, he used Charles's abilities to connect with the entire world, announcing his return and specifically mentioning Russell, as well as informing him of his current location.

Cairo is the capital and largest city of Egypt.

As the two were talking, gray chimneys suddenly rose in the distance, some near and some far, totaling more than ten.

Knowing the plot well, both Russell and Deadpool were aware that Apocalypse not only controlled Charles to issue a declaration, but also gave the global governments a show of force.

By offending all the nuclear pacifists in the world in one fell swoop, Apocalypse had a great time showing off, but the Mutants were badly screwed over and forced to choose sides, ending up in the notebooks of the super big shots.

Almost simultaneously, Mutants around the world were cursing Apocalypse while praying that this bastard would successfully conquer the world, otherwise they would never be able to live their lives again.

Whoosh!

Nightcrawler Teleportation to Russell's side, his face filled with anxiety. "Mr. Russell, Captain Deadpool, come with me quickly, we're in trouble."

After saying that, Nightcrawler placed his hands on the two men's shoulders and teleported them to the faculty meeting room of the academy.

The X-Men were almost all together, including Psylocke and Logan. Nightcrawler's appearance didn't attract much attention; their focus was entirely on the television.

On television, all channels were urgently broadcasting news of the nuclear weapons launch.

"This station has received reports from Europe and Asia that, not only in the America, but it seems that nuclear weapons worldwide are experiencing a loss of control. The White House has yet to issue any statement on this matter..."

"The Pentagon has confirmed that the first countries to launch nuclear missiles were Russia, China, and Russia..."

"Numerous news media outlets worldwide..."

The situation was dire. Apocalypse's major move caused a global sensation, like a glass of cold water poured into boiling oil, causing the entire world to explode in an instant.

When it comes to nuclear weapons, no one can remain calm. The media is giving this extensive coverage, speculating about the authorities' intentions and whether it is related to World War III.

Strangely, despite the magnitude of this event, the superpowers remained silent, motionless as if asleep.

The America is the worst off, because of freedom of speech, the collective silence of the authorities, and the media's crazy hype, all kinds of conspiracy theories are everywhere.

Immediately, people took out banners from under their desks, adding "Oppose War" after phrases like "President Eats Shit," "Protest Against Racial Discrimination," and "Green Environmental Protection." They then took to the streets in groups of three or five, adding insult to injury to the already turbulent situation.

And you know what? There are quite a few people like this who like to shine and contribute; there are about ten of them in almost every building.

Before long, the media stopped reporting on the nuclear bomb, and the follow-up news was about the 'Texas shooting,' 'Detroit shooting,' and 'Chicago shooting,' creating as much chaos as it could get.

It's easy to imagine that by tonight, tap water and shovels in supermarkets and cities across the America will be sold at exorbitant prices.

What? You say bottled water is understandable, but why are shovels being sold at exorbitant prices?

What a fuss! Without shovels, how do America build air-raid shelters in their own backyards?

"It's so lively!"

"Yes!"

Two Silly Bird, not wanting to miss out on the fun, kept switching channels to watch current events and furiously criticizing the America public for their Silly Bird.

Just then, the TV screen changed again. After the static flickered, a large blue face appeared on the screen—it was Apocalypse's face.

"I bet $100 that this guy is the most Silly Bird."

"I'm agreeing, no arguments allowed!"

Russell didn't want to watch Silly Bird, so he picked up the remote and changed the channel. Ten channels in a row were dominated by Apocalypse, so he could only calmly put down the remote and see what Apocalypse had to say.

"My friends on Earth, you have surely witnessed the beautiful fireworks display. Do not worry, this is the end of an old era. In this new age, you will no longer need weapons—firearms, swords, spears, stone tools, and all such things will be obsolete..."

Apocalypse started rambling again. Deadpool, not giving up, snatched the remote and changed a few more channels before being stabbed by Logan's claw, finally stopping him.

The camera shifts, the large blue face disappears, replaced by the pyramid-filled Egyptian landscape. Apocalypse stands before the camera, leaving viewers with an unfathomable silhouette.

As he raised his hands high, the entire Cairo shook violently as if an earthquake had struck. Skyscrapers crumbled, the ground collapsed, and all matter instantly disintegrated and reassembled in the city center, forming a majestic and immovable giant pyramid.

The metal tower is considered one of the world's greatest wonders, gleaming under the blazing sun and reflecting a profound sense of solemnity, leaving all viewers of the live broadcast speechless.

Turn out to be...

That's how the pyramids were built!

Congratulations to New York and Los Angeles for escaping the disaster with a very small chance. Apocalypse was an ancient Egyptian; otherwise, these two unfortunate brothers would have been in trouble again.

The scene shifts again, and Apocalypse's expressionless, Deadman face appears on screen. "Humans, you have ruled this world for the past 3,600 years of my slumber. Now I have awakened. Prepare to be purified!"

The image freezes, and then a hand-drawn headshot appears on the television screen.

Upon seeing this face, everyone turned to look at Russell, wondering why Apocalypse had put his image on the global live broadcast.

"Old Gods, do not think of running away. I will defeat you in front of the whole world and let your believers know that you are weak and vulnerable."

Apocalypse disappeared from the picture, but Russell's photo remained; he became famous!

"Wow, buddy, you're going to be famous." Deadpool yelled, "Now the whole world wants to know you. You'll have countless gigs, endorsements, movie offers, interviews... Damn, you have to remember to call yourself a member of the X-Force during interviews, and your captain is Wade Wilson ... No, I'm not going to be the captain anymore, I'm going to be your agent."

"Don't be silly, the person in the portrait isn't me."

Upon hearing this, Deadpool pressed his entire face against the television screen, repeatedly confirming, "Impossible, they're exactly the same!"

Russell calmly analyzed the situation, pointing out the differences between himself and the portrait. "A comparison makes it easy to spot the flaws. The man in the portrait has too wide a distance between his eyebrows and his gaze lacks focus; his nose is a bit flat; his lips are too thin, making him look very cold-hearted; worst of all, his hairline is a centimeter higher than mine. How could it be me?"

Dude, I think you want to eat farts!

Deadpool had never seen such a shameless person. Russell's audacity made him feel that his position as captain might be taken away at any moment.

Everyone else felt the same way, fearing they might be infected with the "Silly Bird virus," and subconsciously distanced themselves from Russell and Deadpool.

Logan and Psylocke also backed away, and soon their faces turned ashen. They were isolated because, as members of the X-Force, they were labeled as carriers of the Silly Bird Virus.

Clang!

The conference room door was pushed open, Mystique walked in, her face serious. "Hank has finished calibrating the plane. We're heading to Cairo now to rescue Charles."

The enemy was stronger than ever before, and to put it bluntly, this trip would most likely end in death, but none of the X-Men refused to go.

Raven specifically requested that several wounded members with mobility issues remain behind. Apart from her, the only X-Men left on the mission were Nightcrawler Wagner, Quicksilver Pietro, and Magneto Erik, who joined temporarily.

Including Deadpool, Logan, and Russell from X-Force, there are exactly seven people.

"Mr. Russell!"

On the way to the spacecraft, Raven asked in a low voice, "Charle... Professor asked me to ask you something, are you sure it's a 50/50 chance?"

Deadpool has asked this question eight hundred times already. Russell sighed and said for the last time, "Yeah, is there a problem?"

Raven hesitated for a moment, then nodded and remained silent.

She had no more questions, but Russell did. "By the way, isn't Professor X going? I haven't seen him anywhere."

"The professor is in the secret room with the Cerebro. He has a way to stop Apocalypse from taking over Charles's body, and he can also..." Raven's face turned red at this point, "... and he can also help him keep his hair!"