Chapter 35

"Sorry, but if I'm choosing believers myself, I'd like to find ones who are easier on the eyes."

"I don't want to settle."

At first, Liu Dalong and his six brothers did not understand. They thought dumping garbage the previous night had ruined their chances.

But they soon heard the standards the Immortal Pretty Boy had set for the River God's believers.

Liu Dalong and the others: "..."

Was this choosing believers for the River God? No, this was fucking choosing consorts for the River God!!!

The self-aware Liu brothers collectively withdrew, but the fourth brother still wanted to struggle a little.

"Big Brother, don't pull me! I'm the most handsome of the seven of us! I'm tall, and I've got a great body! Besides, I'm well-endowed and good in bed, don't you know? My best record is servicing—Aow!!"

Before Liu Dashuai could finish, he somehow lost control of himself and took a flat-ground tumble. The force and angle of that fall were simply exquisite—it not only knocked Liu Dashuai's mouth bloody, but also scraped his proudly high little nose from bridge to tip.

His face was a complete mess, but as long as he recuperated properly, he would not be scarred or disfigured.

Sensing Boss Water's death ray, Liu Dalong, Liu Xiaomao, and the others ignored their fourth brother's wailing and swiftly carried off this fool who had tried to become the River God's male consort.

As they left, Liu Dalong was even worried that one slip would disfigure all seven brothers. He ground his teeth and vowed that educating his younger brothers had to be put on the agenda!

Watching their fleeing backs, He Qinglan turned to Shui Wuyuan. The latter did not look guilty in the slightest, instead appearing thoroughly righteous. "No need to thank me. Let alone you, even I find that sort of goods an eyesore."

He Qinglan raised his brows and continued looking at him.

For some reason, Shui Wuyuan felt a little unnerved beneath those deep blue eyes and swiftly changed the subject.

"Your standards really aren't high, but humans are just too lousy. If it doesn't work, lower them a bit. Once you've stayed here long enough, you'll gradually get used to all the ways they're lousy."

"After all, they're only human."

Qi Xiaoyuan, the human staring up at the sky, felt that he ought to speak up for his fellow humans. "Mr. He, well, your standards really are a bit high."

"After all, good-looking people may not have sweet tongues or know how to speak well. People with firm convictions cannot decide their own looks, and the requirement for a pure soul alone might eliminate a great many people. Even if someone met all your requirements, such a person would be very hard to come by. They would definitely be very popular."

So, my lord, your standards aren't just a little high—they're high by a hundred million little bits!!

The River God fell silent after hearing Qi Xiaoyuan's words. He frowned slightly as he looked at his first believer, until Qi Xiaoyuan's scalp was about to go numb before he finally sighed and nodded.

"It was I... who failed to consider your innate conditions."

"After all, even you were a Potato picked from among sweet potatoes."

Potato Qi Xiaoyuan: "..."

He suspected this River God spokesperson was not only obsessed with looks, but naturally sharp-tongued as well!

At that moment, Shui Wuyuan smugly added from the side, "This richest man here exceeds every one of your tiny requirements in every way. Unfortunately, you'll never find a second one like me."

He Qinglan smiled the moment he heard that and turned to look at the man reclining in the lounge chair. He was the essence formed from all the source-less water in the world, and at the instant his spirit condensed, he had acquired a flawless face without the slightest defect.

Yet the faces and temperaments of gods formed and changed according to their origins and hearts. Thus, even with equally perfect divine faces, each had their own appearance.

He and Shui Wuyuan had both been born from "water," yet their temperaments and appearances were utterly different.

This man had brows like cold peaks, thin lips, a high nose, and gray eyes that saw only countless mediocre lives. He was heartless and overbearing, with even a trace of gloominess.

Truly... one look told you he was no gentle, good god.

He Qinglan stared for too long, and Shui Wuyuan sat up slightly, narrowing his eyes. "What?"

Could it be that I'm not insanely handsome?

He Qinglan smiled and nodded. "Indeed, I won't be able to find a second one like you."

Shui Wuyuan was just about to give an evil, charming smile when he heard that down-and-out little pitiful thing add another sentence.

"You can probably count as a super gourd."

"A fifty-pound base—mm, the genetically mutated kind."

Super Gourd Shui Wuyuan: "..."

Potato Qi Xiaoyuan: "Pfft." Sorry, but I really can't hold it in!!

In a fit of rage, Water Gourd went home overnight, deciding to let the pitiful little River God reflect first beside that poor, filthy riverbank. He could also spend some time filming the dull and tasteless life of a rich man at home, then show that Down-and-Out River God just how uneven the world was.

The Down-and-Out River God was currently watching the moon from a luxurious lounge chair.

He refused Qi Xiaoyuan's invitation to stay overnight at his home. Under his chief believer's concerned gaze, he said that spending the night outdoors without a bed would not make him sick or leave him poorly rested.

"I do not have that many worldly desires."

Under the moonlight, the River God's handsome face seemed to be shrouded in a layer of "holy light."

The worldly Qi Xiaoyuan was immediately filled with solemn admiration and decided that from then on, he would keep everything simple, reject extravagance and waste, and follow Mr. He's example.

After Qi Xiaoyuan left, only the River God remained by the Qinglan River in the night.

He sat in the lounge chair, watching the Qinglan River under the moonlight in silent stillness.

But that stillness did not last long. As the moon reached its zenith and began to descend, several angry, weeping howls suddenly rang out through the night.

The voice was hoarse and shrill, making what had originally been a decent voice sound exceptionally unpleasant.

But that was not enough to concern the River God.

Human joys and sorrows had nothing to do with him.

But if this human's brain was broken and he wanted to jump into the river to kill himself, then the River God could not tolerate it.

After Xia Youyu had cursed heaven and earth and bitterly damned the fate that had tormented him, he decided to drown himself in this river that had once been glorious and was now utterly down-and-out, using his death to condemn this detestable world that had ruined him just as it had ruined the river.

Although the current of the Qinglan River in He Qinglan's area was very weak, the place Xia Youyu chose was upstream in the outskirts of Bicheng, where the Qinglan River could barely still be called a "river." It was roughly two meters wide and half a meter deep.