The Idiot Kidnapper

At dinner, Mike was at times filled with sympathetic anxiety, at times grinding his teeth in fury, and at times secretly delighted, making Old Earl eat the entire meal on edge.

What was one supposed to do when the boss had a split personality?

Skye and Chloe were busy feeding Babi and did not notice Mike's ever-changing expressions at all.

Fine, he was being ignored. Cute creatures were no less appealing than strong, virile men.

After dinner, they simply closed the supermarket. The four of them and one cute creature curled up on the couch to watch TV.

"Mike!" Skye suddenly exclaimed excitedly. "Look, it's Miss Potts."

The television was broadcasting an emergency news report. On-screen, Pepper, who had attended a charity event, was being interviewed by reporters after delivering a speech.

Ever since the press conference announcing the closure of the weapons division, the entire Stark Group had been in chaos. Stark could turn off his phone and have JARVIS filter out calls he did not want to take, but Pepper could not. The pressure had not disappeared; it had merely shifted from Stark to Pepper.

Otherwise, how could Stark stay home in his mansion playing with Iron Armor and throwing wild parties without a care in the world?

"Oh, what a pitiful woman." Mike sighed, then began dissing Stark. "What a scumbag, Stark. That's why, whether a man has money or not, the most important thing is that he takes responsibility. Stark dumped everything on a woman—what kind of man does that make him? Look, Pepper has gotten so much thinner..."

"How can you tell she's gotten thinner?" Skye turned to stare at Mike.

Uh... that was not the point, was it?

Women had such strange priorities.

How was he supposed to answer?

She had obviously gotten thinner. Anyone with eyes could see it. But he could not say that, or women would only ask suspiciously, "Are you two close?" or "Why are you paying so much attention to another woman?"

Then, more often than not, men would think women were being unreasonable.

And then, tiny grievances would build up day after day until they finally erupted. Congratulations, you would be one step closer to becoming single, or already walking further and further down the road of singledom.

Sometimes, you might look back and wonder why things kept getting worse when you had clearly done nothing wrong. Think about it: most of the time, people were simply wrong without realizing it, then kept making the same mistakes.

Scumbag Training Manual: Pay attention to the details. Making mistakes was not a big deal. What mattered was knowing where you went wrong and not making the same mistake again.

"Stark told me. Didn't I stay at his place for a few days?" Mike answered with complete naturalness.

Sure enough, Skye did not press further. It was the perfect opportunity to shift her attention.

"Think about it. During the month Stark was kidnapped, Pepper must have been worried sick. Then the day Stark came back, he announced the shutdown of the weapons division. It was practically seamless torture for Pepper. If Pepper were twenty years older, people would definitely think she was Stark's biological mother." Mike said indignantly, "As a man, I can't even stand watching this. He shoved a helpless woman to the front lines. What good is having money if he has no sense of responsibility at all? Pah! I refuse to associate with him. Sooner or later, I'll draw a line between us!"

"The boss seems a little resentful of the rich today. Did business lose money?" Old Earl felt he had grasped the key issue and quietly asked Skye.

"I don't think so." Skye thought for a moment. "He recently shorted Stark stock and made a huge profit..."

"Oh, then I probably overthought it."

Hey, hey, he could hear them... This was the first time Mike had felt that sharp hearing was a bad thing.

That was right, he had made money, but before he could even enjoy it, the system had squeezed it all out of him. Wasn't losing something after obtaining it more painful than never having it in the first place? They were stabbing him right in the heart!

"Ahem... Watch TV properly. Show some respect for media workers. They may have no integrity, but we can't be the same. I'm talking about you, Babi! You fell asleep just now, didn't you?" Mike grabbed Babi and, in one word: pet. Target: belly!

"Don't bully Babi..." Chloe said weakly.

Mike's eyes lit up. He had discovered another cute creature. In one word: squish. Target: cheeks.

"Wuwuwu..."

The scene on television suddenly descended into chaos. A van crashed into the venue, sending several people who failed to dodge flying.

The doors opened, revealing three pitch-black submachine gun barrels first.

Rat-a-tat-tat...

The gunmen sprayed bullets wildly at several on-site security guards who had reacted.

Blood and flesh flew everywhere.

Two security guards were riddled with bullets on the spot.

The rest were pinned behind cover and did not dare show themselves. It was not their fault. Their weapons were only automatic pistols. What could they do against criminals armed with submachine guns?

It was not that their side was too pathetic; the enemy's firepower was simply too fierce. The security guards were desperate too...

"They're pretty arrogant, not even wearing masks."

Three criminals jumped out of the van. The leader was bald, with a stitch-like tattoo on his forehead. He wore a classic black tracksuit with three white stripes, showing absolutely no respect for the profession of criminal.

"This bald guy feels kind of familiar."

Mike thought about it but could not remember. He merely seemed vaguely familiar, so he was probably not an important character in the plot.

The bald man swaggered onto the stage. "Ladies, gentlemen, greetings to your whole damn families. My target is a chick named Pepper Potts."

He fumbled around on himself for a while, then pulled a photo from his breast pocket. "She looks like this. Oh-ho, a blonde chick. Russia guys love blondes most, and I'm one of those Russia guys... Now tell me where the blonde chick is, or have her come out herself."

As he spoke, he aimed his gun at an older man in a suit below the stage.

"Hello, what's your name? What do you do?"

"Wayne, producer. I'm very good at Oscar public relations. If you're interested, I can turn your exploits into a movie. This is my..."

Bang!

The bald man's accomplice shot Wayne in the back of the head.

The bald man's eyes widened as he shouted furiously, "You what?!"

"He was pulling out a gun!"

"Idiot, he wasn't pulling out a gun, he was pulling out a business card, you super-duper idiot..." The bald man sprayed saliva in anger, then pointed his gun at the person beside him. "What about you?"

"Daniel."

"Also a producer?"

"Actor."

"Fine, whatever. Call it bad luck. I'll count to ten. If the blonde chick doesn't come out, you'll say goodbye to this world. One, two, four, eight..."

"W-wait!"

"Ten!"

Bang!

Another famous Hollywood scumbag went to meet Mephisto.

"Boss, that's not how you count from one to ten," the bald man's accomplice reminded him quietly.

"Isn't it?" The bald man froze, then snapped viciously, "I'll count however I want! Who has a problem with that?!"

This guy was an idiot. Case closed.

The bald man pointed his gun at the next person. "Next!"

"Wait." A slightly panicked female voice spoke up.

Pepper slowly stood from behind the shrubbery. "If I'm the one you're looking for, I'm here. Don't hurt anyone else."

"Grab her!"

The bald man stared at the photo for quite a while before matching the person in it to Pepper. Perhaps being an idiot had given him face blindness.

The bald man's two subordinates rushed toward Pepper to grab her, only to suddenly discover two hands extending from beneath her arms, each holding a pistol fitted with a suppressor.

Pfft! Pfft!

Both accomplices were hit at the same time.

"Get down!"

Black Widow, disguised as a secretary, had been hiding behind Pepper.

Pepper obeyed and dropped to the ground without hesitation. From the corner of her eye, she saw Natalie roll away from the bald man's gunfire while firing repeatedly!

The bald man holding the submachine gun was immediately hit and collapsed to the ground, howling in pain.