Marvel's Ultimate Slacker
Chapter 12

The 158 Phone Number

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Human time amounted to only a few fleeting decades.

A woman's beauty lasted for even less time.

Kino could love someone for ten years at most. After that came all sorts of compromises for the sake of living.

Compared to his ten-thousand-year lifespan, a human's few decades were far, far too short.

He had only just begun, while his lovers had already lived out their entire lives.

So, when he learned that he had nearly ten thousand years to live, he stopped "loving." If he loved someone and she died a few decades later, Kino would have to suffer that heart-wrenching pain all over again.

How many times would he have to "hurt" over those ten thousand years?

This was no longer a [Gift]. It was [Torment].

Perhaps transmigrating into the Marvel world was not such a bad thing. At least he would not have to suffer through watching them pass away again! He would just treat it as if he had already died. He was almost seventy anyway. He had already paved the way for his son, daughter, grandson, and granddaughter. As for what came afterward, Kino could not manage it, nor did he want to.

Children and grandchildren had their own fortunes, after all!

"Then have you never thought about... going back?" Maria Hill asked.

"Go back?" Kino shook his head. Transmigrating had not been his wish, and going back... was even less so. "What would I go back for? To witness their deaths? To say goodbye to them, then 'hurt' countless more times?"

Maria Hill rolled her eyes. It seemed he had quite a few women in that world!

"Do you know? The moment I learned I had a lifespan of ten thousand years, the 'love' in my heart had already died! I cannot bear to have one lover after another die in my arms. To watch them grow old one by one while I remain twenty forever. That is torture for me, and for them... it is even more agonizing!"

"Ten thousand years?" Maria Hill was stunned. That meant living from the early Neolithic Age all the way to the present.

At the same time, she understood him a little.

She had once watched a show called Forever!

The male lead remained thirty forever, while his first wife kept growing older. They could not even go out for Valentine's Day, because strangers would say, "What a wonderful relationship you mother and son have!"

His wife turning into his mother!

At first, it was manageable, and they could still make do. But as the "age" gap grew larger and larger, the female lead eventually could not endure the torment anymore... and quietly left.

If it were Kino, such a tragedy would probably happen too, right?

Nick Fury, listening in from the other side, was equally dumbfounded. What?

"Yeah, ten thousand years! Do not ask me why. Maybe I was altered by some unknown radiation while crossing the universe? Or maybe... well, anyway... anything is possible! Maybe I will keep living and then... suddenly drop dead with a snap! No one can say for sure, hahaha!"

"I would rather have only a hundred years to live! But after I crossed worlds twice, an ancient existence noticed the change in me. He told me... my aging rate is one-hundredth that of a human. In other words, after humans live for a hundred years, I will have aged only one year."

Maria Hill was dumbfounded again. "So, you... really have a lifespan of ten thousand years?"

"Who knows? Anyway, it will be very, very long!"

"Then you still want to... do that with the woman from earlier? Didn't your 'love' die?" Maria Hill asked.

"I sealed away my 'love,' but I still have [Desire]. Oh, right, I said she was a 'fuck buddy,' didn't I?"

Maria Hill rolled her eyes!

"Is that strange? I have ten thousand years to live. To avoid grieving again and again, I no longer love any particular woman, but I still need an outlet for my 'desire'! Otherwise, would I not become a rock? How would that be any different from being a salted fish?" Kino shrugged.

Maria Hill remained speechless.

"As someone with a nearly limitless lifespan, I have to find something to do, right? I do not want to seal myself away and sleep for ten thousand years. Then, under that endless loneliness, torment, and waiting, if I have nothing to do, I might... go insane. Oh, right, would you prefer I become a supervillain? A supervillain who conquers Earth and unifies the entire universe?"

Maria Hill thought to herself: You should just become a robot that only loves fucking!

"Didn't you say you transmigrated from Earth?"

"I did! But not this Earth!" With that, Kino wolfed down the preserved egg and lean pork congee, tossed the bowl and chopsticks onto the table, and got up to head upstairs. "Remember to wash up properly! Your room is on the second floor. The third floor is mine, so no going upstairs!"

Pah, Maria Hill was utterly speechless. What the hell? Was he treating her like a housekeeper?

And what was with forbidding her from going upstairs?

Was he a woman? Was he afraid of getting fucked?

The one who should be afraid was her, wasn't it?

Mm, though he did not seem that old.

"Director, did you hear all that?" Maria Hill asked softly as she washed the dishes.

"Mm."

"What did he mean by not this Earth?"

Nick Fury paused before answering, "According to the deductions of some cough... scholars, there may be a possibility of a multiverse, but it has never been proven."

"Then now..."

"It still has not been proven now!" Nick Fury replied firmly. "You do not need to concern yourself with the multiverse. It is still far too distant from us. Just complete your mission."

"Yes, Director!"

On the third floor, Kino lay on the large round bed, holding his iPhone X with excitement in his heart.

Although he knew full well that this was the Marvel world, not the Earth from his previous life, he still could not help taking out his phone and dialing the number he had used for ten years.

A number starting with 158.

From his college entrance exams until his transmigration, he had never changed that phone number.

After a brief two-second wait, the call actually connected.

Kino's heart suddenly jolted. What? Could this world also have a Ki... Zhang Wei?

Calm down!

Calm down!

Calm down!

"Whew..."

Maybe the number merely existed!

After five seconds of ringtone, it was actually declined?

Kino stared blankly at that familiar number on the screen, then dialed it again out of sheer stubbornness. It was declined again.

After the fifth consecutive call, the other side finally answered.

"Hello! Excuse me, is this Zhang Wei? I'm his American friend. My name is Kino!"

To avoid being cursed at, Kino struck first.

The person on the other end was clearly stunned for a moment, then a pleasant voice drifted over. "It really is an American number. I thought it was a scammer!"

Kino thought to himself: Just as I expected.

If it had been him in his previous life, he would probably have hung up without another word upon seeing an American number prefix.

"You're looking for Zhang Wei? There's no Zhang Wei here."

"No way? I remember this was his number. I..."

Sure enough, there was only the phone number, but no Zhang Wei? Did "he" truly not exist in this time and space, or did he exist... just with a different number?

But why did the voice on the other end sound so familiar, as though he had heard it somewhere before?

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure... I think? I remember he'd had this number since 2006!"

"Then you must be mistaken. All right, I..."

Before she could finish, another voice drifted over from the other end.

"Qianqian, come eat."

"Oh, got it."

Then—beep beep... the call disconnected.

Kino was left sitting on the large round bed in complete disarray. No wonder that voice had sounded so familiar.

Qianqian?

The Fairy Sister?

Could she be Xiaolongnü, Yang Guo's master and aunt?

After all, even Gal Gadot, the star of Wonder Woman, existed. It did not seem strange for Sister Long to exist too!

It was just that the number he had used for ten years in his previous life was actually the goddess's number here?

I must have transmigrated into a fake Marvel!

End of Chapter
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