Stark Villa's peaceful morning was broken by a harsh sound of tearing metal. Tony·Stark rushed into the backyard and found that Xiao Han was tearing his limited edition Lamborghini into two halves with his bare hands, and the metal parts were torn apart like pieces of paper.
"My car!" Tony screamed, "I just ordered it last month!"
Xiao Han didn't even raise his head and continued to tear at the car door, "It's blocking my sunshine. Why don't you know how far away you can park after buying such a big iron thing?"
"That's my private parking spot!"
"Now it's my sunshine tunnel." Xiao Han threw the car door into the swimming pool, causing a huge splash, "Besides, the color of your car is too ugly, bright orange? It's a terrible taste, Stark."
Tony was so angry that he jumped up and down. Just when he was about to explode, JARVIS's alarm sounded, "Abnormal space fluctuations have been detected. Multiple high-dimensional signals are approaching."
Suddenly, twelve silver-white aircraft appeared silently in the sky, arranged in a perfect circle. They did not have any visible propellers or windows, just like suspended mercury drops.
"Here we go again." Tony rolled his eyes, "Which dimension of property management is this time?"
The aircraft projected a beam of light at the same time, forming a holographic image on the beach. A figure wearing a silver robe appeared, with a blurred face.
"We are Watchers." The figure's voice was like metal friction, "We are here for peace."
Xiao Han continued to dismantle Lamborghini's engine, "If you want to collect protection fees, go to Stark. He is the landlord."
Watchers seemed to be caught off guard by this reaction. "We are not here... we are here to ask you to control your energy release. Your existence is tearing apart the structure of Multiverse."
Tony couldn't help but interject. "Wait, are you Watchers? Those Watchers who claim to never interfere?"
"The situation is so critical that we must make an exception." Watchers turned to Xiao Han, "Your energy fluctuations are causing eighty-seven percent of known reality to collapse."
Xiao Han finally looked up, a dangerous red light flashing in his eyes. "So?"
"So we ask that you... restrain yourself."
"No." Xiao Han continued to dismantle the car, "Is there anything else? I'm busy."
Watchers was obviously stunned. Obviously they had expected various reactions, but they did not expect this completely indifferent attitude.
"You don't care about Multiverse's life or death?" Watchers asked.
"What does it have to do with me?" Xiao Han threw the engine aside, "I'm not a property manager."
Tony couldn't help but chuckle and was glared at by Watchers.
"We can provide compensation." Watchers changed his strategy, "Exclusive resort on Rigel's Companion Star, three times the intensity of sunlight, absolute privacy."
Xiao Han finally stopped what he was doing. "It sounds good. But I don't like others telling me what to do." His eyes became redder, "Especially by bribery."
Watchers took a step back. "This is not bribery, this is a transaction..."
"This is bribery." Xiao Han stood up, Heat Vision accumulated energy in his eyes, "Now, I give you three seconds to leave my basking area."
Tony hurriedly smoothed things over. "Wait! Rigel resort? It sounds good! We can discuss the terms..."
Xiao Han glanced at him. "You have to go by yourself. I'm right here."
Watchers seemed to be communicating silently. Finally, the leader said, "What if we insist on your cooperation?"
Xiao Han smiled. It was not a friendly smile.
The next second, fiery Heat Vision shot out of his eyes, sweeping across the sky with precision. Twelve aircraft exploded violently one after another, turning into silver fragments all over the sky, like a metal rain falling on the sea. The only thing that survived was the projection equipment.
Watchers's holographic image flickered. "You... do you know the consequences of doing this?"
"I don't know, and I don't care." Xiao Han crushed the last car part, "Now, either get out of here, or end up with your idiot."
The holographic image suddenly disappeared. There was silence on the beach, only silver fragments flickering in the waves.
Tony opened his mouth wide. "Did you just... blow up Watchers's fleet?"
"They block the sun." Xiao Han lay back on the beach chair, "And the color is too ugly, bright silver? The taste is worrying."
At this moment, Bifrost's light beam lowered, and Thor strode out. "Friends! I feel powerful energy fluctuations... Wow!" He tripped over the silver fragments under his feet.
Steve and Natasha also arrived, looking at the wreckage of the aircraft on the ground and Lamborghini turned into scrap metal.
"What happened?" Steve asked, already raising his shield and preparing to fight.
Tony pointed weakly at Xiao Han: "He and Watchers... have broken down."
Natasha raised his eyebrows. "It means..."
"He blew up their fleet because they wanted him to calm down." Tony slumped on the beach, "My car was just collateral damage."
Thor laughed, "Haha! This is the proper attitude towards God! At Asgard, we call this 'friendly negotiation'!"
Steve frowned. "Watchers never interferes. If they make an exception and come here, it means the situation is really serious."
Xiao Han waved his hand lazily. "It's just serious. It's not my problem."
Suddenly, all the silver fragments began to glow and rose into the air to form a larger projection. This time, the image of Watchers was clearer, with an obviously angry expression.
"Your willfulness will lead to the destruction of countless realities!" Watchers's voice is no longer calm, "We must take coercive measures!"
Xiao Han didn't even get up. Heat Vision shot out of his eyes again, directly vaporizing the projection equipment. "It's so noisy."
Tony held his head. "It's over, it's over, now I really offended the Multiverse Property Management Office."
Just then, the sky began to change color. The clouds swirled into strange patterns, and the smell of ozone filled the air.
"The dimensional rift is forming!" Strange rushed out of the portal, "Watchers is forcibly opening the reality channel!"
Xiao Han finally stood up and yawned. "So we still have to fight, right? Say it earlier, it will waste so much of my time."
Countless silver-white figures began to emerge from the cracks, each holding a luminous weapon. The Watchers army descended on the earth.
Thor raised the hammer excitedly. "Finally! Let's have a real battle!"
Steve set up a shield. "Avengers, assemble!"
But Xiao Han was faster than everyone else. He appeared in front of the largest crack in an instant, took a deep breath, and then blew out an extremely cold freezing breath. The entire crack, together with Watchers that had just emerged, was frozen into a huge ice sculpture.
"The first one." Xiao Han said, throwing the ice sculpture into the sea.
The other Watchers opened fire immediately, and the energy beams were as dense as rain. Xiao Han did not dodge at all, and all the beams deflected and reflected on their own before touching his skin, hitting other Watchers instead.
Tony took off in the battle armor. "JARVIS, record the energy characteristics of these weapons! Maybe we can reverse engineer..."
A Watchers suddenly appeared behind Tony, with his weapon pointed at his reactor. But the next second, Watchers was lifted up by Xiao Han by his neck.
"Who allowed you to touch my landlord?" Xiao Han said coldly, throwing Watchers out of the atmosphere.
Tony was stunned. "Uh... thank you?"
"Don't get me wrong." Xiao Han continued to clean up Watchers, "If you die, I will have to find a new place to live. It's troublesome."
The battle turned into a one-sided crushing. Watchers's advanced weapons and tactics were meaningless in the face of absolute power. Xiao Han didn't even move its position, and solved the waves of attacks on the spot.
In the end, only one Watchers was left standing there, the weapon in his hand trembling slightly.
"Do you want to continue?" Xiao Han asked, with red light flashing in his eyes.
Watchers put down his weapon. "We underestimated you. We also misunderstood you."
"Finally, we have someone who understands." Xiao Han waved his hand to Avengers to relax, "Now, can we talk according to my rules?"
Watchers nodded. "Please speak."
"First, stop telling me what to do."
"Agreed."
"Second, compensate Stark's car... and mental damages."
Tony's eyes lit up. "I want Rigel's resort!"
Watchers looked at Xiao Han.
Xiao Han shrugged. "It's up to you. I'm not going anyway."
"Third," Xiao Han continued, "If there is another dimensional crisis, you can solve it yourself. Don't bother me."
Watchers was silent for a moment. "We can provide energy control technology, which will not limit your abilities, but can prevent dimensional fluctuations."
"We should have done this a long time ago." Xiao Han lay back on the beach chair, "Now, get out. You are blocking the sun."
Watchers bowed, and then disappeared without a trace along with all the wreckage, as if it had never appeared. Even Tony's demolished car was restored to its original state.
Tony touched the intact Lamborghini: "Wow. This is a good service."
Steve still held up the shield with a confused look on his face. "Is this the end?"
Strange checked the dimensional readings. "All the cracks have been closed. The energy fluctuations have also... stabilized? They really gave energy control technology."
Thor put down the hammer in disappointment. "Is this the end? I haven't made a move yet!"
Natasha chuckled, "It seems that someone has solved the Multiverse crisis in the most direct way."
Xiao Han adjusted the angle of the beach chair. "So I can bask in the sun quietly? Or do you also have to come and give me lessons?"
Tony suddenly thought of something, "Wait! They didn't give me the key to Rigel's resort!"
"Finally clean."
The sea breeze blows with the breath of victory. Somewhere, Watchers is redefining the "non-intervention" policy; in another place, Fury may be having a headache with yet another anomaly report. But here, at this moment, everything is fine.
The sunshine is just right and no one dares to disturb it. This is the life Xiao Han wants.
As for Multiverse? I love it so much.