So You're the One Who Split My Phone?

So, at Lu Qi's strong suggestion, the group stopped shopping and chose to play a five-man match at the burger joint.

What a wonderful night!

Lu Qi thought about how long it had been since he'd queued with anyone other than Ninja Soldiers. Tony and Coulson either cared more about women than friends or were workaholics—forced workaholics, anyway—and neither of them would queue with him.

Glancing at Jane, who was still awkwardly getting used to the touchscreen phone, as well as several complete newbies who had just logged out, Lu Qi could already picture himself dominating the battlefield while they worshipped him and cried, "Carry us, boss!"

Lu Qi invited the other four into the party and confidently started matchmaking.

"Your ranks are so low that I can only play casual matches with you. Don't feed. I'll carry!"

The others looked at Lu Qi's prestigious ranked badge and readily promised not to feed.

The match began quickly, and Lu Qi was the first to charge out of the base.

The desire for slaughter was rising!!!

First blood!

Lu Qi quietly looked up and found that everyone's expressions were strange, but they didn't say anything.

"That was a mistake. There were too many of them. Don't panic, I can recover!"

Lu Qi hurriedly tried to explain, but the others had already realized something was wrong.

Finally, several minutes later, Lu Qi silently slipped into the restroom.

He summoned a Ninja Soldier and handed him the phone.

Here, take my phone. You play!

Watching the Ninja Soldier forcibly turn his negative score positive on his account, Lu Qi saw that the combined kills of both sides had nearly reached one hundred.

At last, the Ninja Soldier tapped the rally command a few times, then led the team in a single push to destroy the enemy base. Lu Qi sighed in relief, took back his phone, and walked out of the restroom.

"Come on, I fed a few kills first. Otherwise, there wouldn't have been any challenge."

Lu Qi explained to the others.

Yeah, right. As if we'd believe that.

The four of them had more or less reached a conclusion, but none of them said it aloud. And so, they continued their "joyful" gaming session.

Then Lu Qi went to the restroom six times that night.

Fortunately, after Jane and Erik, the two doctors, got the hang of the rules, they forcibly started carrying. Thor and Darcy sat on either side of Lu Qi to keep an eye on him and stop him from feeding. In the end, they managed to scrape out a few wins without hiring a substitute player.

Well, surrendering meant losing half, which was basically winning half. Do it a few more times, and that counted as winning a few times.

Before long, Lu Qi was abandoned by the whole group and left alone drinking soda.

"This game is really interesting. It's actually challenging."

"Definitely, especially when your teammates are bad."

Watching them excitedly discuss the game, with Thor practically glued to Jane, Lu Qi logged out and silently walked out of the burger joint.

Odin, it wasn't that I didn't help you. Just look at Thor! He was actually chasing women because of a game?

A mere game had lured him away. The next time he fought, was he going to decide the winner with rock-paper-scissors?

He was simply disgracing the Asgardian royal family! Wait, didn't that make me newly inducted Asgardian royalty too?

Lu Qi shook his head. What kind of garbage competitive game was this? You had to compete your whole life in reality, and now you had to compete in games too?

I'm going back to single-player games!

Fuming, he returned to his little home and humbly hugged his blanket as he went to sleep.

Thanks to the blanket's magical power, when Lu Qi opened his eyes again, it was already the next day.

Opening his system, he discovered that the nearly three million energy had all been mined out. Lu Qi thought about it. With so much energy, should he directly buy Ninja Soldiers or expand the squad?

If he converted all his troops into Ninja Soldiers, Lu Qi would have 5,000 Ninja Soldiers—though he actually owned 3,000. Buying one Ninja Soldier cost 510 points of Dark Energy.

If he bought Ninja Soldiers while leaving enough room for the energy cap, he could buy around 3,800 Ninja Soldiers. However, he only needed to buy 2,000 to reach the cap. In other words, spending 1.22 million energy would prepare him to upgrade with five million energy.

Looking at the thick book of coordinates Odin had given him, a sense of confidence rose within him.

Upgrade first! He could worry about the squad when the big battle came!

After spending 1.22 million energy to reach the cap, he had 1.9 million energy left and still needed 3.1 million more.

Lu Qi entered the Shadow Dimension, intending to clear a few more Shadow Dimensions.

This time, he couldn't be bothered to wait for Mordo and the others. Lu Qi directly went for solo pulls. After nearly twenty solo pulls, he got two Lesser Dimensions, thirteen Micro Dimensions, and five empty draws. At last, he gathered the energy he needed.

While waiting for the Shadow Legion to clear the instances, Lu Qi flipped through the book in his hand.

Odin really knew how to put on a show. At first, Lu Qi had thought the book contained at least a thousand coordinates, enough to mine for a long time. Instead, several pages only had one coordinate each. Couldn't Odin learn from The Ancient One?

Look at someone else's big shot. Not only was she bald—scratch that.

Not only was she Earth's protector, she was diligent and practical. She had personally revised more than five thousand spellbooks in Kamar-Taj into new editions. The coordinate books she gave out were packed tightly with writing, without wasting a scrap of paper.

When I first saw how thick your book was, I thought there were tons of coordinates inside. But when I flipped through it, it was all blank space. Every coordinate included the date it was discovered and the person who discovered it, and you even remembered to praise yourself at the end. Amazing job.

A man who cared about appearances really did care about appearances. Still, even if this coordinate book was as thick as a dictionary and you dried out some of the moisture over a fire, it still contained over a hundred coordinates. Even if some were empty draws, it was worth over ten million Dark Energy.

After waiting a while for the Shadow Legion to finish clearing the instances, Lu Qi instructed them to haul all the loot directly to Kamar-Taj, then headed over to Thor's place.

Although Odin had said he wanted to test Loki, Lu Qi had no idea how he planned to do it. What if Loki still sent the Destroyer over?

Thor had awakened his divine power, but what if something else went wrong?

The fights against Abomination and Whiplash hadn't followed the movie plot at all. Lu Qi didn't dare guarantee that this time wouldn't bring some strange twist either.

By the time he finished grinding out the energy cap, it was already noon. Lu Qi directly drew a portal into town.

Come to think of it, where did Jane and the others live?

There was no question that Thor had followed Jane, but Lu Qi still didn't know where Jane lived.

Just as he was about to send Ninja Soldiers to thoroughly search the town, several strangely dressed people swaggered past him.

What a coincidence. Seeing "Uncle Long," Robin Hood, and Thena among them, Lu Qi smiled.

These people had been let through by the "upright and impartial" Heimdall to find Thor and persuade him to return to Asgard. Not long ago, Loki had visited the homeland of the Frost Giants, Jotunheim.

But Loki had deliberately blocked Heimdall's sight, preventing him from knowing what Loki had done there.

A true king would never stoop to such petty tricks.

Heimdall despised someone like Loki, who only knew how to scheme, from the bottom of his heart. Still, he was deeply worried about Thor on Earth.

Thor still had no idea that his brother had developed ambitions he shouldn't have had.

As one of Thor's supporters, Heimdall decided to let several of Thor's little followers go tell Thor what had happened in Asgard. Naturally, he also found a way around the new king's order forbidding anyone from traveling to Earth.

I, Heimdall, was drinking at the tavern at the time. There were plenty of people around who could testify for me. I never opened the Bifrost to send anyone over. I had a solid alibi.

Meanwhile, after following those people around town for a while, Lu Qi found Thor happily duo-queueing with Jane.

"Damn it! How dare you mock Thor, the God of Thunder? I'll kill you a hundred times!"

Thor muttered under his breath, his fingers constantly sliding across the phone screen.

"Thor has encountered an enemy!" Volstagg shouted.

Fandral took a careful look. "He's roaring at that little box in his hand. The enemy must be inside it!"

"It must be one of Midgard's mages. I heard from Asgardian mages that Midgard's mages possess strange abilities!" Hogun added.

Sif at the side wanted to say something, but Volstagg had already rushed forward.

"Damn mage, how dare you humiliate Thor, the God of Thunder!"

With one swing of his axe, he precisely split the phone in Thor's hand without harming Thor in the slightest. Lu Qi nodded from the shadows. This man's martial skill was decent. Although it wasn't comparable to the Shadow Ninjas' ultimate techniques, it was enough to be proud of.

"Well done, Volstagg! The four wild boars, six pheasants, and that cow that sacrificed itself in your belly will be proud of you!"

Fandral stepped forward and added a few sword strikes. Hogun thought those two were doing a poor job, so he swung his war hammer and smashed the phone directly into pieces.

Thor had been completely focused on the game and was in the middle of a crucial team fight. Then his phone turned directly into a pile of dust.

Damn it!

Before he could say anything to the three Asgardian idiots, Thor ran over to Jane. He watched helplessly as the team fight was lost without any suspense because he had gone AFK, and their base was immediately pushed down as well.

"Hey! Thor, we finally found you again!"

Volstagg excitedly ran forward, but electricity surged all over Thor's body. The moment Volstagg touched him, he was shocked to the ground.

"I was engaged in a sacred duel with my enemy! What were you doing?!"

This was my promotion match!

Besides, we hadn't even been apart for a full day. Why were you acting like we hadn't seen each other in months?

Lightning poured from Thor's eyes as he stepped forward and grabbed Volstagg by the collar.

"I thought you had encountered an enemy. Also, why can you summon lightning without holding your hammer?"

Thor hadn't intended to kill him, so Volstagg was still conscious enough to ask a question in return.

"I'm Thor, the God of Thunder, not the Hammer God. Why wouldn't I be able to use lightning without my hammer?"

Thor tossed Volstagg onto a chair beside him, only for Volstagg to crush it beneath his weight.

"My god, you need to lose weight." Thor frowned.

Sif helplessly walked into the room. Looking at Fandral and Hogun, who didn't dare make a sound for fear Thor might zap them too, she sighed.

"Thor, calm down. We came to find you because something important has happened!"

Thor had been furious just now, but he was still extremely happy to see his friends and followers.

"Why did you suddenly come to Earth?"

Sif stepped forward. "We need you to return to Asgard immediately!"

Thor frowned and glanced back at Jane, as well as the phone in Jane's hand.

"My father exiled me. Until I earn his forgiveness, I will not return to Asgard."

The insincere Thor turned away, unwilling to let his friends see the guilt in his eyes.

"But not long after you left, the Allfather fell into Odinsleep. With the Queen's support, Loki became Asgard's acting king!" Sif said anxiously, afraid Thor didn't understand how serious things were.

But.

Loki had become king! Great!

Thor wasn't angry or worried at all. After all, he was Loki's biggest fan!

Besides, after getting this little device last night, he had played other games too. One of them had been a particularly hardcore strategy management game, and it had left him utterly dizzy.

If being king meant dealing with all those similar things every day, he would probably die from exhaustion faster than Asgard could fall.

Compared to sitting in the rear as king, he still preferred to be a soldier charging into battle.

"Loki is more suited to be king than I am."

Thor turned to Sif and spoke seriously, terrified they would drag him back and force him to deal with political affairs and all that nonsense.

Seeing Thor's eyes, Sif knew this was what he truly thought. But she found it hard to accept. She had violated the new king's order and followed three idiots all the way here to find Thor, only for Thor to have no desire to return to Asgard.

Just as Sif was feeling troubled, Thor spotted Lu Qi outside the door.

"Hey, Uncle!"

"Ah, my good nephew. What is it?"

Lu Qi smiled as he walked in.

Thor awkwardly scratched his head and pointed at the corpse of his phone on the floor. "My phone was smashed. Can you buy me a new one?"

Uncle?

The three Asgardian idiots and Sif were instantly dumbfounded. Why did Thor have an uncle, and why had they never heard about him?

"Thor? Since when did you have an uncle?"

Volstagg tugged at Thor's clothes and asked quietly.

"He's the brother my father recognized yesterday. By seniority, he really is my uncle."

Yesterday?

The three Asgardian idiots immediately became wary.

Thor might not know, but didn't they?

The Allfather had fallen into Odinsleep yesterday, while the Queen had stayed constantly by his side to care for him. How could he possibly have sworn brotherhood with a Midgardian yesterday?

Thor must have been tricked by this guy when he first arrived on Midgard!

The three exchanged looks and silently prepared to attack Lu Qi.

But with a wave of Lu Qi's hand, a vast swath of shadow transformed into ninjas, surrounding them completely. Countless blades held them hostage. If they dared move even slightly, they would bleed.

"Are all of you this stupid?" Lu Qi glanced at Sif, who was still itching to move.

Seriously, birds of a feather flocked together. The moment he mentioned his identity, they all wanted to hit him. No wonder they were Thor's followers. Their thought processes were probably all the same.

Sif silently moved her hand away from the spear on her back and smiled awkwardly.

"I believe that if the Allfather swore brotherhood with you, he would certainly have given you something as proof."

Finally, someone who wasn't a brute. Just how low was the average intelligence of Asgardians?

Lu Qi took out the token Odin had given him from a Ninja Soldier's hand, feeling rather speechless. The thing wasn't small. Hanging it from his waist felt like carrying the keys to an entire building in Guangdong, and it was incredibly uncomfortable.

"Do I have to take this thing out every time I tell an Asgardian who I am? Don't you have some kind of smart identification system that can verify someone's identity?"

They were supposedly a "divine race" that had developed for tens of thousands of years. Had they really put their entire tech tree into some neighboring primitive civilization?

Sif smiled awkwardly. However, sensing the unmistakable aura of the Allfather on the token, she felt that this matter might not be so simple.

Wasn't the Allfather supposed to be in Odinsleep? How could he have gone out and sworn brotherhood with a Midgardian? And if he wasn't asleep, why wasn't he doing anything about Loki?

Lu Qi waved his hand and had the Ninja Soldiers release the three Asgardian idiots, then disdainfully pushed away Thor, who had come over to plead for them.

Seriously, arguing with these people made him feel like he was lowering himself.

Just as Lu Qi was about to find a chair and rest, a sudden commotion rose from outside the window...