Chapter 23

Spin, chant, thrust the sword.

Shake the bell, perform the ritual, bounce freely on the bed.

"Heaven and earth, nature's order, divine might from all directions! Ah ah... rain! Ah ah... wealth!"

The two people on the bed instantly woke up!

Shen Qinghuai felt as if he were sleeping on a trampoline. As he bounced up and down, he quickly met the eyes behind the fish mouth.

His heart suddenly skipped a beat, and his hand clenched the blanket.

Then a powerful force yanked his shoulder over, and someone screamed in his ear, "What is that?! A-Huai! A-Huai, don't be scared!!!"

This thunderclap of a scream was even more destructive than that fish's spicy dance. Shen Qinghuai's ears began ringing, and he suspected he had gone deaf.

"Shut... up..."

He struggled to speak, catching sight of an entire row of glowing bird beaks from the corner of his eye.

Shen Qinghuai:?

The enormous colored paper was crowded with dozens of long-beaked birdmen. Their beaks had been specially designed with reflective material, shimmering with flowing holographic colors that were blindingly bright.

Every time the ugly fish bounced and shook the bed, the holographic light flashed over the bird beaks again.

Pouring it over someone's head in public—why couldn't that public be birdmen?

"Fuck." Shen Qinghuai swore.

"What the hell is that!"

Chapter 23

Shi Bochuan avoided looking at the ugly fish dancing and tumbling wildly on the bed, then cautiously asked, "A-Huai, were you... were you cursing me?"

"Get off me!"

Shen Qinghuai shoved his head away, rolled out of bed, and swiftly grabbed the back of the ugly fish's head, clutching the hood of its pajamas.

"Shi Jihan!" He desperately shook the hood. "Was it you? Was it you??"

With a slap, a talisman stuck to his forehead.

"By the law of heaven, disperse!"

Shen Qinghuai was frozen in place, both eyes staring at the talisman swaying before his forehead.

Killing intent slowly gathered in his eyes.

New grudges, old debts.

"Rain! Wealth! Let money come from all directions!"

Shi Jihan had been grabbed by the collar of fate. Half-bent over and kneeling backward on the large bed, he spread his arms wide to embrace the world.

"Chinese red rain!"

Bang!

The smoke alarm above the bedroom suddenly sprayed out a burst of mist. Then, like a donkey being whipped, it began circling around with a sizzling sound, spraying everywhere.

The whole room filled with the scent of red wine.

Shi Bochuan was caught off guard and startled again. He sucked in a cold breath, clutched his heart, and leaned against the headboard.

Bang bang bang!

The party poppers at the head of the bed went off, instantly firing countless U.S. dollars into the air. They fluttered down over the bed.

Half the breath Shi Bochuan had sucked in got stuck in his throat.

Confetti and red wine burst forth together, while dollars filled the air.

The beautiful scene was the romance Shi Jihan had painstakingly arranged.

The money was charged to Shi Bochuan's account.

Wait, the task still wasn't complete?

He ordered Zero-Zero-Zero: [Turn it up!]

The alarm gave a forceful squeeze with a sizzle, and a stream of red wine poured precisely over Shen Qinghuai's head, a localized rainstorm soaking half his hair.

Zero-Zero-Zero panicked: [T-too much!]

Shen Qinghuai removed the talisman. Slowly, very slowly, he swept all his wet hair back, revealing those murderous eyes.

The cold, elegant beauty had turned dark completely.

[Ding, task "Pour red wine over Shen Qinghuai's head in public and destroy his faith" completed. Reward: Malice Points +23]

Shi Jihan cursed Zero-Zero-Zero for dropping the ball. As he backed away, he said in a trembling voice, "Happy wedding anniversary! Today marks the 574th day of your marriage. Every day after getting married is worth celebrating. I helped you celebrate this holiday today. Are you happy? Are you blessed? Does it feel ceremonial enough?"

Shen Qinghuai began searching through the bedside table.

"W-what are you looking for?"

"My retractable self-defense baton."

Shi Jihan shouted, "Help!"

Shen Qinghuai still had a death grip on his pajama hood. Shi Jihan simply yanked open the zipper with a swish and was spat out from the bottom of the pajamas, not even having time to put on his shoes.

His socks slipped over the floor as his feet flailed twice. Then he spun around and bolted for the door!

Shen Qinghuai shouted after him, "Shi Jihan, stop!"

The two rushed out of the bedroom one after the other, launching into an intense chase.

The camera moved again.

The bodyguard asked, "What are they doing this time?"

His companion replied, "Morning exercise, probably. Third Young Master and Mr. Shen really know how to stay healthy."

The bodyguard gave him a thumbs-up. "No wonder you got promoted."

This guy really knew how to gild his bosses' reputations. Even if the boss farted, he could interpret it as a weather forecast for localized high winds.

Half an hour later.

Shi Jihan, covered in bumps, sat miserably on a little stool in the bathroom, scrubbing the bedsheets with all his might.

Shen Qinghuai stood at the doorway with his arms folded, back to looking like his usual cool and detached designer self.

—If one ignored the red wine still dripping from the ends of his hair.

He stared at Shi Jihan, who was voluntarily doing labor, and warned, "No washing machine. You don't eat until they're clean. Scrub out every wine stain you caused."

Shi Jihan: QAQ

How did the protagonist bottom who had suffered so much bullying dare climb onto the head of a formidable vicious cannon fodder like him?

Shen Qinghuai threatened, "Hmm?"

"Okay, Brother Huai. I guarantee I'll finish the job!" Shi Jihan flashed a brilliant smile with eight teeth showing.

Shen Qinghuai went to take a shower.

The moment he left, Shi Jihan's expression changed.

His foam-covered hands viciously threw a set of military boxing moves through the air, forcibly squeezing in another round of exercise.

Why did a designer who sat in an office all day have five more abs than him? Was that reasonable?!

Out of strength, he slumped onto the little stool and questioned Zero-Zero-Zero: [When I exchanged it, didn't you say this red wine could break down on its own? Why haven't I scrubbed off even a little after all this time?]

[Ding, it has been detected that the host needs to exchange for red wine dissolving solution. Price: 1.2 Malice Points. Would you like to exchange?]

Fuck, what a profiteer.

A one-stop red wine sales and after-sales service.

Other people were iron roosters, but Shi Jihan was a sugar rooster. Forget plucking feathers from a passing goose—he would count himself lucky if the system didn't stick a layer of feathers onto him. There was no way he was spending that money!

He scrubbed for another ten minutes.

[...Exchange.]

By the time Shi Jihan had restored Shi Bochuan and Shen Qinghuai's bedroom to its original state, he was exhausted. He slept like the dead all afternoon, deliberately skipping lunch so he could feast at the newcomer welcome party that evening.

He swore he would eat that married couple bankrupt!

Zero-Zero-Zero reminded him: [Host, some of that money is yours too. Don't forget that your eldest brother is still holding your shares.]

Shi Jihan suddenly understood: [After my eldest brother kicks the bucket, all his assets will be mine. So everything they're using now is my money!]

[?It seems you also have your second brother, Shi Zhongye, as an heir?]

[Oh, then after they both kick the bucket,] Shi Jihan held up two fingers and waggled them, [I'll inherit double the assets and sleep with male models all over the world.]

Far away in the deep mountains and old forests, Shi Zhongye, who was directing a film, sneezed violently.

"Fuck, which actor is cursing me again?"

He waved hard to drive away the mosquitoes. "Damn mosquitoes, just suck some fat. How dare you suck my blood?" He lowered his head and stared at the nearly empty bottle of mosquito repellent in his hand for a long time. Thinking about how he would have to wait another week before going to the village at the foot of the mountain to trade for supplies, Shi Zhongye lightly pressed the nozzle.

He sprayed it beneath his nose so he could smell it himself.

-

The newcomer welcome party was held at an upscale Western restaurant. Shi Bochuan booked the whole place and let everyone eat whatever they wanted, ordering buffet-style before paying the bill at the end.

The welcome party was held once every six months to celebrate the management trainees from the spring and autumn recruitment cycles officially joining Shi Group after completing their rotations.

Everyone was outstanding in their respective fields, with impressive work and solid skills.

Except for Zhou Zeyang, that slacker.

Even after being exposed as not being a company employee, he shamelessly stayed.

He was full of enthusiasm, having found his calling in life. "Xiaohan, I feel like I belong here. I want to produce more marketing plans."

Shi Jihan had no time for him. He stuffed an entire caramel peanut pancake into his mouth and nodded perfunctorily. In reality, Zhou Zeyang's words slid across his smooth brain cortex with a whoosh, leaving no trace behind.

Shen Qinghuai noticed instead. He smiled and chatted with him about how he had been lately, then glanced down. "What happened to the scratch marks on your neck?"

"When I was trimming my dog's nails, it scratched me," Zhou Zeyang said, making a pained face. "Brother Huai, you have no idea. My brother keeps a Beagle, and it's way too rambunctious."

Shen Qinghuai looked thoughtful. "My family keeps a Beagle too. It really is quite rambunctious."

Shi Jihan, whose mouth was once again stuffed with mousse, turned his head in confusion. Hm? They had a dog at home?

Zhou Zeyang immediately felt like he had found his people. Feeling warmly understood, he gulped down quite a lot of alcohol with Shen Qinghuai, mainly talking about how his inhuman brother had tormented him from childhood to adulthood.

Shi Jihan caught some of it and concluded that Zhou Zeyang held quite a high official position in the Zhou Family.

This included, but was not limited to, serving as Zhou Jingcheng's chief housekeeper, minister of fiscal deficit, and academic consultant for ghostwriting homework.

He summed it up. "Zhou Jingcheng really is a dog."

No wonder the original owner had found Zhou Jingcheng unpleasant in every possible way and called him a mad dog. It seemed he had suffered quite a bit too.

"He's absolutely a dog!" Zhou Zeyang had gained another listener and immediately began babbling away, dragging Shi Jihan into the conversation.

Shi Jihan opened several bottles of wine to keep him company. The two went back and forth, enthusiastically badmouthing someone who was not present.

The more Zhou Zeyang spoke, the more worked up he became. "A few years ago, one of his subordinates confessed to him, and he actually said, 'Don't pull this on me just to avoid next quarter's targets.' The person said they sincerely wanted to ask him to a movie, and he turned around and asked my dad whether that counted as overtime, then demanded overtime pay from him."

As Shi Jihan listened, he pictured Zhou Jingcheng's tone and expression and began laughing. Once he had laughed enough, he asked, "So did they go see the movie?"

"No, is that the point?" Zhou Zeyang waved a hand. "They didn't go. The other person was practically furious to death. Not only did they not go, no one was willing to confess to him again after that. That subordinate even hung pomelo leaves around for a few weeks to ward off bad luck."