Chapter 24

"My mom even said my brother should try to find someone in the next couple of years. God, who'd have to be blind to fall for him? The moment they got close, they'd be sprayed to death by that poisonous mouth of his."

Shi Jihan wholeheartedly agreed, nodding hard. "They'd have to be seriously blind. If such a person really exists, I'm willing to make a charitable donation to treat their eye disease."

This was the highest honor the sugar rooster could bestow.

Zhou Zeyang grabbed his hand. "A kindred spirit! Come on, let's finish another bottle!"

When Shen Qinghuai came back, he found the two of them neatly sprawled across the sofa, one on each side, dead drunk—and still hooking pinkies and making promises.

Shi Jihan's cheeks were flushed red, and his words slurred as he raised a middle finger to the sky and swore, "I-I swear! I absolutely won't tell anyone about today's conver...sation!"

Shen Qinghuai pressed a hand to his forehead, his temples throbbing painfully.

The welcome party was barely halfway through, and they already had two drunks. Neither he nor Shi Bochuan could leave, so after some thought, he called Zhou Jingcheng to pick up his brother and take Shi Jihan home as well. They lived in the same villa district, after all.

When Zhou Jingcheng drove over, the married couple stuffed their respective younger brothers into his car.

"The live-in housekeeper isn't around these next two days, so sorry for the trouble, but you'll have to take him to his room. Don't let him collapse on the floor," Shi Bochuan said.

His wording was polite, though his tone carried very little embarrassment.

After all, a certain Mr. Zhou had mooched plenty of meals off him and had even blatantly stolen the spotlight at the press conference.

Ordering him around gave Shi Bochuan a sense of triumphant satisfaction.

After shutting the passenger-side door, he even felt a little joy at having gotten rid of his brother.

God, life had suddenly become bright and full of hope.

He led Shen Qinghuai away at a brisk pace.

Zhou Jingcheng spent ages getting Zhou Zeyang into the back seat. When he looked up, the others were gone. He was speechless for a while. Seeing how drunk Shi Jihan was, he pulled out a bottle of mineral water from the compartment and patted him, trying to sober him up. "Have some water and take it easy. I'll get you home first."

Zhou Zeyang struggled upright in the back seat. "Bro, gimme a bottle. I-I want some too!"

"You?" Zhou Jingcheng shot him a sidelong glance, irritated. "Drink your own saliva to recover."

Zhou Zeyang:?

His sluggish brain turned for a long time and still couldn't process it. With a flop, he lay back down.

Zhou Jingcheng saw Shi Jihan looking at him with half-open, watery drunken eyes, as though he couldn't understand a word Zhou Jingcheng was saying. He did not cooperate either, merely blinking his long curled lashes slowly, like a slow-motion replay after losing focus.

Zhou Jingcheng frowned, wondering which idiot had poured alcohol into him. Shi Bochuan should have kept an eye on him.

Yet his hands did not stop moving. He gently pinched Shi Jihan's chin and lifted it, using his fingertips to pry his lips apart slightly. The bottle mouth brushed his lower teeth. "Open up."

Shi Jihan opened his mouth, then quickly shut it again. Zhou Jingcheng had no time to pull back, and droplets of water slid down the corner of Shi Jihan's lips, soaking both their collars.

"Damn." Zhou Jingcheng shook his newly bought, wet shirt collar, suspecting this little shorty was deliberately making trouble for him. He pulled Shi Jihan's cheeks outward and threatened, "Drink it already, or I'll feed you another way."

"Mmph..."

Shi Jihan lifted his eyelids, trying hard to focus on Zhou Jingcheng's face. His muddled mind thought for a long while as he stared at Zhou Jingcheng's thin, damp shirt, then he lay back.

He mumbled, "Then change it."

Zhou Jingcheng:?

Zhou Jingcheng:???

Change what?!

Chapter 24

Zhou Jingcheng froze, unable to react for a moment.

He had only been threatening Shi Jihan, but Shi Jihan's response sent his thoughts somewhere else entirely.

It was not until his unconsciously tightened fingers squeezed mineral water from the bottle and spilled it over both their clothes that he abruptly came to his senses. He turned his face aside and coughed into his fist.

After receiving no response for too long, Shi Jihan moved impatiently and lay even flatter, urging, "Hurry up. Can you even do it?"

Zhou Jingcheng lowered his eyes, staring at his drunken, lopsided pose. He put a little force into the hand pinching Shi Jihan's cheeks, tugging them back and forth. His voice filled the enclosed car, carrying a faint, muffled echo. "Who can't do it? Little shorty, think before you speak."

Shi Jihan felt dizzy from being shaken around. He raised a hand to pull Zhou Jingcheng's away, but he had no strength after drinking. His hand only touched the back of Zhou Jingcheng's before slipping down. In a futile struggle, it hooked around Zhou Jingcheng's pinky.

His overheated, drunken body temperature passed to Zhou Jingcheng through that fleeting touch.

Zhou Jingcheng suddenly felt that the alcohol concentration in the car was too high, enough to make someone faintly tipsy.

He straightened up and rolled down Shi Jihan's window.

The summer night breeze carried the lingering heat of the day. It drifted lazily over the treetops, then floated into the car, dissolving between them.

Zhou Zeyang mumbled something in the back seat. The tall man, well over six feet, curled up and turned over, with half a leg still hanging off the seat.

Zhou Jingcheng watched coldly, thinking it was lucky he had not crammed both of them into the back seat.

Otherwise, that sleeping god Zhou Zeyang would have kicked the little shorty straight down.

Someone grabbed his soaked shirt collar and tugged at it.

There was not much force behind it, but Zhou Jingcheng felt it and looked down at him.

"What are you doing?" Shi Jihan complained. "Weren't you going to feed me? Hurry up."

He lay there with his mouth open, perfectly content to enjoy someone else taking care of him.

Zhou Jingcheng was utterly helpless. He brought the bottle to Shi Jihan's lips. "Drink, Your Highness."

Shi Jihan huffed in dissatisfaction, but the water blocked his mouth, leaving him unable to retort.

He gulped down a few mouthfuls, then had a sudden idea. He tugged Zhou Jingcheng much harder. "I'll show you something cool."

Zhou Jingcheng pulled out a tissue and handed it to him, signaling for him to wipe the water from his lips. "What?"

Shi Jihan's eyes sparkled as he loudly took credit. "A human sprinkler!"

Zhou Jingcheng did not even have time to stop him before Shi Jihan recovered all his strength, snatched the bottle, and took a huge gulp. Without pausing, he was about to put on his performance.

Zhou Jingcheng, directly facing him:!!!

With a hand so fast it left an afterimage, he grabbed Shi Jihan's mouth shut!

[Ding, Malice Points +3]

Shi Jihan, unable to spray it out:?

"Mmph! Mmmph mmmph!" His mouth was pinched flat as he struggled desperately.

No, he still had not shown Dianjia Bro his performance!

Zhou Jingcheng did not dare loosen his grip. He directly raised Shi Jihan's chin and tipped his head back, forcing him to swallow that mouthful of water. Only then did he breathe a sigh of relief. "...Much appreciated, Master Sprinkler."

Shi Jihan was furious. He had not expected Zhou Jingcheng to be so incapable of appreciating art. When Zhou Jingcheng tried to get him to drink more, he refused to cooperate no matter what.

"No, I'm not drinking! Did you poison the water?" he protested drunkenly. "You, a mere favored concubine, dare plot rebellion? Withdraw!"

Zhou Jingcheng pressed his thumb hard against his temple, telling himself not to argue with a drunk... Screw that.

"Shi Jihan, delete all those ridiculous fanfics you've been reading when we get back."

Shi Jihan pretended not to hear him. He snatched the water bottle and hugged it to his chest, turning his head toward the window and ignoring him.

Zhou Jingcheng's ears finally got some peace. He had driven Shi Jihan home before and already knew the route. He drove all the way to the entrance of Shi Family Villa.

"We're here. Get out."

He waited for a while. Nothing happened.

"Shi Jihan?"

Still nothing.

Zhou Jingcheng turned his head and saw that Shi Jihan had fallen asleep long ago. The flush had not faded from his face, and loose strands of hair clung to the sweat-damp hollow of his neck. His collarbones rose and fell slowly with his breathing as he slept soundly.

He was still hugging that bottle of mineral water.

Zhou Jingcheng tried to pull it out, but failed, so he simply gave up.

He looked toward the back seat. Zhou Zeyang was asleep too, and it did not look like he would wake up anytime soon.

Zhou Jingcheng fell silent for a moment, then got out and opened the passenger door. In a low voice, he said, "When you wake up, don't turn around and accuse me of taking advantage of you."

Without caring whether Shi Jihan heard him, he scooped him up in his arms, kicked the car door shut with the toe of his dress shoe, and strode toward Shi Family Villa.

The Shi Family had facial-recognition smart locks. Zhou Jingcheng lifted the fluffy head buried against his chest and aimed it at the camera.

With a click, the door slowly opened.

Only then did Zhou Jingcheng realize the guy in his arms had his eyes open.

After the door opened, Shi Jihan even blinked at him, his head resting in Zhou Jingcheng's arm as he looked at him.

Their eyes met, and the air gradually froze.

Zhou Jingcheng looked down at him and broke the silence first. "Want me to put you down so you can walk?"

The moment the words left his mouth, Shi Jihan's limbs wrapped tightly around him. The arms around Zhou Jingcheng's neck nearly strangled him to death.

"What are you doing? Cough, cough." Zhou Jingcheng tried to save his own breathing by pulling those arms away, only to find he could not budge them. Where had this guy suddenly gotten so much strength?

"Shi Jihan, are you drunk or not? Don't tell me you're trying to strangle me so your big brother can acquire my company?"

[Ding, Malice Points +2]

"Shh—" Shi Jihan said. "You're so noisy."

Zhou Jingcheng:?

What a complete reversal.

Shi Jihan spoke mysteriously. "I can't get down. I'm a mermaid."

A look of absurdity flashed through Zhou Jingcheng's eyes. "So?"

Shi Jihan said, "I can't get down. I don't have feet. I can only crawl. Every step I crawl hurts like I'm walking on knife blades."

Zhou Jingcheng listened to his nonsense expressionlessly, thinking tonight had truly been enough. "No, you can roll too."

"If you don't have enough momentum, I can give you a free push... Ow, did you pinch me?"

[Ding, Malice Points +1]

Shi Jihan let go and looked seriously at the red finger marks on Zhou Jingcheng's face. "I'm a mermaid."

Zhou Jingcheng took a deep breath, then another. In his heart, he cursed Shi Bochuan and Shen Qinghuai over and over eight hundred times. Putting on the attitude he used when dealing with damned clients, he gave a professional fake smile. "Fine, Mr. Mermaid. Can I still get through this door?"

Fathead fish. One day, I'll stew you into fish soup.