I Love Hell Jokes

"Do you know ice cream? You put milk and sugar into a drum-shaped ice cream machine, then use ice magic to control the temperature, and after spinning it for a while, you can get this cool dessert."

"If you haven't tried it before, you should give it a go. Everyone loves ice cream."

"So, my question is: Are humans a kind of ice cream machine for dogs?"

"What the hell are you talking about?! I give up, I surrender, please stop!"

Bede City Square was still bustling with people today, but some rather unusual activities took place.

People spontaneously cleared a circular space where a fierce battle was taking place.

There was no physical contact whatsoever; it was purely a verbal duel where victory was won solely through verbal sparring.

The conditions for victory are simple: whatever you say, as long as you leave the opponent speechless/unable to refute/break their defenses, or gain the most support from the audience, you will automatically win.

The defending side was the elves, yes, the same elves who came to Bede City a few days ago.

With a thin, small body, an underdeveloped figure, thick glasses, and an expressionless face, the one who holds the BOSS position in this verbal duel is none other than the emotionless little girl among that group of elves.

"What a powerful woman! Whoever goes next must shut her up!"

"These arrogant elves have been causing trouble all over the city these days, challenging our dignity. Damn it, I must win!"

"I'll do it, I'm a well-traveled and knowledgeable bard!"

As the new victim approached, the girl with no connections adjusted her glasses and asked with the composure of an old man:

"What's the whitest thing among the black ape slaves who are skilled at picking cotton?"

"Heh, that's too easy," the bard laughed dismissively. "The whitest teeth."

"No, it's their master who is the whitest."

"Ah!?"

The bard shuddered. The barbarians living in the north were skilled at enslaving black apes, these monsters, to work for them, and the barbarians did indeed have the fairest skin.

What the elf said makes a lot of sense!

"Ahem," the bard coughed, trying to sound calm. "Let's talk about something more mature, shall we?"

Perhaps because the girl with no connections and no social standing did indeed look young, he decided to start the discussion with more mature topics, such as...

"Okay." The girl with no connections nodded. "How many gold coins can you earn each month?"

"Oh!" The onlookers exclaimed in surprise; this topic was far too mature.

"What?" The bard was taken aback; he actually went and calculated how much money he could earn each month, only to find that he only made a few silver coins a month.

"Are there any loans?" the elf pressed.

"Have"

"Has it been paid off?"

"."

"Can I pay it back? Will I borrow again? Are the things I buy with borrowed money really useful in life?"

"By the way, I own the copyright to the Hardening Potion, which earns me at least a few gold coins every month."

"Stop, stop, stop!"

The bard seemed to have been struck by lightning; his face turned deathly pale as he waved his hands repeatedly, regretting that he had steered the conversation toward maturity.

He couldn't hold on any longer; the elf's mouth was indeed powerful, but...

"Let's do the last one, look at the picture and tell the story."

He pulled out a painting and said, "This was painted by my friend. A guard from the Earl's household is comforting a child whose father died in a carriage accident while driving drunk. If you were this guard, how would you comfort the child? I'll go first."

In the scene, a guard is holding a crying child and pointing out of the frame, seemingly trying to distract the child from the wrecked carriage behind him.

"Oh, my poor child, please don't worry. Your father has done wrong, but you shouldn't have to bear the burden of his mistakes. I will fulfill the duty of a Holy Light Follower to raise you to adulthood and bathe you in its light."

The bard spoke with great emotion, and then he even started singing like he was in an Indian musical. His singing skills were indeed quite good.

But I always felt that what he said was unoriginal, old-fashioned and clichéd.

Patiently waiting for the bard to finish singing, the three-nothing elf raised his hand, mimicking the guard's gesture, and said calmly:

"Look, that's the orphanage you'll be going to in the future."

"Puff--"

Those in the crowd who were still drinking water sprayed it out.

The church members raised their heads, staring at the elf in disbelief, trembling as they prayed in hushed tones.

Some people slapped their thighs and laughed wildly, and once someone took the lead, more laughter followed.

"You, you, you!" The bard pointed at her, speechless. He was shocked that such a lovely child could utter such cold words.

And this isn't even comforting! Are you sure the child won't choose to fly after hearing what you say?!

This does not meet the requirements, even though you made people laugh the loudest, it still does not meet the requirements!

He was about to retort when he suddenly heard a desperate scream.

"Li Zinei! What are you doing!"

"Oh?" The emotionless elf called Li Zinei turned to look at the source of the voice, and the others looked over as well.

However, everyone only felt a gust of wind, and in the blink of an eye, not only did they not see who was calling, but Li Zinei had also disappeared.

Is it haunted?

"Did you guys find that voice familiar? It's like we've heard it somewhere before."

"Hmm, why does this feel a lot like Si Telan?"

"It doesn't look exactly like her, but it must be her!"

Ignoring the noise of the crowd, the gust of wind darted through the streets and alleys, finally stopping in a dimly lit alley.

"Huff, huff"

Si Telan was panting heavily, her pretty face flushed red. She bent down, grabbed Li Zinei's thin shoulders, and shook her, saying, "What were you saying just now? How could you say those things in public!"

"But they were laughing so hard," Li Zinei said expressionlessly. "And you hurt me."

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

Si Telan had just taken two steps back when she suddenly realized that the one who should apologize was the other person. Telling hellish jokes in broad daylight would lower outsiders' overall impression of the Elf Race!

It's a shame that someone like this is from my clan!

So she glared at Li Zinei angrily, trying to force her to submit with her eyes.

The latter simply took off his glasses, responding with dead fish eyes, adopting an attitude of "let him be strong, I'll remain calm as a gentle breeze on the mountain."

Ultimately Si Telan was the first to surrender.

"Sigh," she sighed, "Where are the others? How did you all get here so quickly?"

"We arrived a long time ago."

Li Zinei looked her up and down and said, "You're still the same as before. You never dare to look me in the eye when you talk. Haven't you gotten rid of your inferiority complex yet?"

"That's because your dead fish eyes are too scary."

"Just think of it as you being insecure. It's okay. I'm here to help you this time. Clearing the dungeon will help you regain your confidence, right?"

"Thank you so much, but I've already finished the game, so you should go back to where you came from."

"Really?" Li Zinei clearly didn't believe her, pointing at Si Telan's tattered clothes and saying, "Then what's wrong with you looking like this? Your waist is showing. You have no shame. If you don't have money to buy more fabric, I can lend you some."

"This is normal attire outside the forest! I call it sexy, sexy!"

"With those two little mounds of earth you have?"

"Hmm"

Si Telan fell silent. She could never win an argument, and if she continued, she would probably start crying.

Li Zinei's lips curved into a slight smile, and she walked forward with her books in her arms. "Go see Aunt Wei En Ma, everyone is waiting for you."

"Um"

"But first, change your clothes. Your waist and calves are all exposed. It's too indecent."

"I already said this is normal attire!"

The two traveled along the way, collecting "wandering" spirits.

They found Mei Erjia, drunk in the tavern; the Cool Elf Bro had infiltrated the theater troupe; and the gourmet elf who was stealing potted plants from house to house.

In short, everyone had to have a verbal altercation with Si Telan, since those who had traveled all the way to Bede City were her old enemies.

"Damn it, don't I have any friends to visit me? "Si Telan thought sadly.

After finally gathering all seven Dragon Balls—no, after finally gathering all the scattered members of the Elf race— Li Zinei brought Si Telan to a grand mansion, which was the temporary residence rented by the elves.

There were more than enough places for the twenty-odd elves to stay, but most of them didn't come home at night, and no one knew what they were doing.

Is Aunt Wei En Ma here?

Si Telan was a little nervous. Although Wei En Ma was very gentle with her, she was also very strict at times, which made her both love and fear her. She would rather spend the whole day arguing with Li Zinei than see her aunt.

But she had to face it eventually, and she pushed open the door as if resigned to her fate.

The moment the door opened, the delicate fragrance of flowers filled my nostrils, instantly refreshing my spirits.

Wei En Ma sat on the sofa directly opposite the door, her posture dignified, casually flipping through Luo Jieer's manuscripts, and slightly raising her head when she heard a sound.

"Auntie." Si Telan forced a smile. She desperately wanted someone to lean on, but the area around her was empty.

Wei En Ma looked her up and down, her lips slightly parted:

"Why are you dressed so indecently?"

"."

Most Elf Race hold conservative views.

Si Telan was tired of explaining that her form-fitting leather armor, which only exposed her waist and calves, was considered quite conservative even among adventurers, and inexplicably blurted out:

"I learned the magic that increases defense the less you wear."

"I see." Wei En Ma nodded, bent down and took out three leaves from under her skirt and handed them to her.

"Wearing this will provide higher defense."

Si Telan dared not move, for she could tell that her aunt was already angry because of her bluff.

"I'll help you put it on." Two nimble vines emerged from Wei En Ma's sleeves, ready to strip off her clothes, Si Telan immediately chickened out.

"I was wrong, Auntie!"

"Snort."

A moment later, the hall was packed with elves, Si Telan, standing in the center of everyone's attention, had never felt so pressured.

For a fleeting moment, she even considered running away.

Just then, Wei En Ma spoke.

"Si Telan".

"Yes!" Si Telan jumped.

"Relax, don't be so reserved. I heard about your performance from the Sid Guild Master. It was very good. You didn't embarrass your mother."

Wei En Ma's eyes suddenly softened. "I already know how dangerous that dungeon is, and you still managed to achieve so much there. You must have worked so hard and been very tired."

"I'm just physically tired, but you all make me feel mentally exhausted." This was the only thought Si Telan dared to have in her heart.

"I bring you greetings from the Queen —your mother."

Wei En Ma took out the emerald green envelope, Si Telan was about to take it, she suddenly changed the subject.

"But before that, would you like to talk to us about Saine?"

Talking about Sion? Why bother with that? I've already finished the game, I don't need you guys here—

"I'm very interested in that place."

Wei En Ma smiled and said, "If possible, please be our guide and take us to see that place. It's been a long time since we've had any exercise, so it's time to visit some interesting places."

Si Telan's expression could only be described as numb; she never expected that her previous scouting trip in the Lake District would actually come in handy.

Now she can really show off her skills in front of her enemies, but she has to give them a heads-up beforehand:

"Hell is just ahead!"

Anyone who gets involved with Sain will have a tragic experience!