Jealousy

What did mature love look like?

The woman sat in the middle of the bed, barely covered by the duvet. As Xing Yue patted the smooth silk, more of it slipped away, exposing the curve of Bu Yao's body to the cool air.

Bu Yao had filled out since she was eighteen, her figure fuller and more mature. No one knew that better than Xing Yue.

Her foot slipped out from under the duvet. She set her small, rosy toes on the back of Xing Yue's hand and slid them gently across it, looking innocent. "If calling your ex-girlfriend's name in bed would make you feel better, I'll play along. This body belongs to you, from my hair to my toes. I'm all yours. You can do anything you want."

Xing Yue pulled her hand away and slapped the restless foot. She barely used any force, but the spot turned red as though she had struck it hard.

"The young lady certainly knows how to have fun," Xing Yue said dryly. She caught Bu Yao by the ankle and dragged her to the other side of the bed, then rummaged through the bedside cabinet. "Forget it. Even if you're willing, I'm not giving you that."

No one wanted her ex-girlfriend using her to chase that kind of thrill. Xing Yue had no such taste, and she had even less desire to do something that would hurt He Zhiwen behind her back.

Bu Yao didn't want to sleep on the other side of the bed. She wanted to sleep in Xing Yue's arms. She rolled twice under the duvet and ended up back in the middle.

She lay on Xing Yue's pillow, covered herself with Xing Yue's duvet, and breathed in Xing Yue's scent. Hugging the bedding tight, she buried her face in it and inhaled deeply. The alluring scent of roses brought to mind a gentle, mature woman.

She had barely had time to enjoy it when Xing Yue lifted her head.

Xing Yue tossed a duvet onto the floor, then took out a pop-up book, a jar of paper stars, a handmade miniature house, an old phone, and many other things. She spread them across the bed until there was no room left for Bu Yao.

"You can sleep down there. I'm going to revisit my seven years with my ex-girlfriend, then write her a five-thousand-word love letter asking her to take me back. Don't disturb me. I need to get in the right mood."

She sounded serious. She tossed a pillow down too.

Bu Yao stared blankly for two seconds, then looked at the pop-up book in front of her. She quietly opened the cover. The first page had a sliding tab and two chibi brides. One had a photo of Xing Yue's face pasted on it; the other was Xing Yue's ex-girlfriend.

When she pulled the tab, the chibi Xing Yue slid over to the other bride. They nestled together, sweet and romantic.

Words were written on the blank part of the page—

[Ta-da! A birthday present for A Yue's thirty-third birthday. We should be married by now, right? You, with your amazing voice and all those talents, and me, working hard and taking life seriously—we should have bought a home of our own and a little car by now, right? If we haven't, don't be discouraged. Life isn't about suffering; it's about being happy~ Silly wife, I had your next ten birthday presents ready in our very first year together. I decided a long time ago that I'd spend my whole life with you. He Zhiwen, who loves you so, so much—]

Even the words seemed to brim with joy.

He Zhiwen had underestimated Xing Yue. Xing Yue had bought a house and a car on her own before she turned thirty. Of course, He Zhiwen had played a part in that house too.

The handmade miniature beside the book was the home He Zhiwen and Xing Yue had once dreamed of. From the color of the walls to the kitchen, it looked almost exactly like the house Xing Yue had renovated.

He Zhiwen had loved life deeply. She had even drawn someone like Xing Yue into making delicate little crafts and planning each step of their future.

Bu Yao closed the pop-up book, her eyes stinging. "What's so special about this stuff? Where's the ruby necklace I gave you?"

Before their marriage, when the Bu Family had gone to propose, Bu Yao had given Xing Yue her favorite necklace from her jewelry box. It was a one-of-a-kind ruby piece, custom-made for Bu Yao by a renowned jeweler, and no amount of money could buy another.

Anyone could make these childish crafts. Not just anyone could afford to give away that necklace.

Xing Yue unfolded a paper star and read the love note inside. At Bu Yao's question, she chuckled. "I sold it ages ago. No idea if I got ripped off. Some woman by an elementary school gate gave me three hundred yuan for it. That wouldn't even cover one hotpot dinner."

Bu Yao still hadn't put any clothes on. She pulled the duvet tight around herself and kicked Xing Yue. "Are you blind? You couldn't recognize a treasure if it hit you! Stop looking at that. He Zhiwen's married. Are you trying to be the other woman?"

Had Xing Yue never eaten hotpot before? Bu Yao was furious. She lunged onto Xing Yue's back, scratching and clawing.

Xing Yue winced and caught her hand. "What if she never got married? I still want to try."

With her other hand, Bu Yao knocked over the glass jar. Hundreds of stars scattered across the bed. "You can't! You've already done... done that with me, and you still want your ex back? If you can't forget her, why did you do that with me? If your body can accept another woman, you have no right to say you love her. Go on, try to find her. Have you no shame?"

After that barrage, Xing Yue's face darkened. She seized Bu Yao's other hand and held both wrists. "Miss Bu, when you saw all this, didn't you feel the slightest bit sorry? If not for what your mother did, He Zhiwen and I would have been married long ago."

Bu Yao had started to unravel the moment Xing Yue said she would write a five-thousand-word letter asking her ex to take her back. Now every word Xing Yue said struck a nerve.

She wrenched her hands free. The gauze wrapped around her palm came loose, and blood seeped through it. She didn't know whether she had pressed on the wound or what had happened.

"No," Bu Yao said through gritted teeth, each word deliberate. "Even without my mother, she wouldn't have married you. She never loved you that much."

Xing Yue didn't get angry. She only gave a cold laugh. "What would a sheltered young lady like you know?"

Miss Bu knew nothing of hardship, nothing of how to love someone properly. She didn't even know how to express her feelings.

What could Xing Yue expect a woman like her to understand?

Sensing Xing Yue's contempt, Bu Yao flared with anger. Her lips trembled as she grabbed the miniature house, ready to smash it on the floor.

Xing Yue didn't stop her. "Break one more thing of mine, and you'll never see me again."

Bu Yao froze in place, unable to follow through.

Xing Yue had no intention of letting her off for what she had already done. Her expression hardened. "And pick up the pop-up book you threw. Put it back where it was. Pick up the stars you spilled, too. There are five hundred and twenty. If even one is missing, get out. You ran away from home, and I was kind enough to take you in. Now you're throwing a tantrum? Who could put up with you? Who would want to marry you?"

That last part wasn't really true. Plenty of people, men and women alike, wanted to marry Bu Yao. For a chance to rise in the world, what wouldn't they put up with? She could be ten times more unreasonable, and someone would still treat her like royalty.

But Xing Yue wanted nothing from her, so she couldn't put up with it.

No one had ordered Bu Yao around in her life. Being told to pick things up was infuriating enough, and then Xing Yue had said those hurtful things.

"Why do you think I smashed your things?" Her eyes filled with tears as she glared at Xing Yue, but she refused to let them fall. "You know I like you, yet you laid all this out and told me to my face you wanted your ex back. What was that supposed to mean? Why did you invite me in? Leaving me to sleep by the door would've been kinder."

She accused Xing Yue, heartbroken.

She had thought Xing Yue invited her in, told her to dry her hair, and gave her clothes because she cared about her. But no. Xing Yue had only wanted to show off the keepsakes from her last relationship and flaunt how deeply she and that woman had loved each other.

Bu Yao wiped at her tears. Still undressed, she sat on the bed and began picking up the stars, counting them as she cried.

"One, two... hic... seven, twelve..." she sobbed.

Xing Yue handed her the glass jar.

That only made her cry harder. She took the jar and dropped each star into it as she picked it up. Soon she was hiccuping, her breathing quick and uneven.

The room filled with Bu Yao's counting and broken sobs.

At this rate, Xing Yue's bed would be flooded. She covered the mouth of the jar with one hand, stopping Bu Yao from adding another star, and frowned. "Stop telling me what I'm allowed to do. And don't throw my things. Do you understand? Nod... and we'll forget about today."

Xing Yue was softhearted. If Bu Yao said a few nice words and behaved herself, Xing Yue wouldn't do anything more.

But Bu Yao was unusually stubborn today. Ordinarily, she would already have tried to win Xing Yue over with sweet words. She knew what worked on her.

A sincere apology would have settled it, yet she dug in her heels.

"I can't!" She drew a breath, her face flushed from crying. "I like you, so I get jealous. And when I'm jealous, I lose my head. What does mature love look like? Am I supposed to help you treasure everything your ex gave you? I'll never learn to do that. Just thinking that you still care about her gifts drives me mad."

She was willing to pick up the stars not because she admitted she was wrong or agreed with Xing Yue. She was simply afraid she wouldn't get to see her again.

She obeyed and picked them up only because she wanted to see Xing Yue every day.

Xing Yue looked at the sobbing woman in front of her. Even crying this hard, Bu Yao was fierce when she lost her temper. She was usually so domineering, yet being told to pick up a couple of things had left her utterly aggrieved.

"Put some clothes on." The wind was cool on this stormy night, and Xing Yue had said it without warning.

Bu Yao suddenly threw herself into Xing Yue's arms and burst into loud sobs. "Did you really... really sell the ruby necklace I gave you?"